Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just wanted to wish everyone a very safe night in the Nest

Juja, I think I remember giving Byrdie just about the same speech when she was just starting. Not planning & not making a commitment will keep you stuck in the same old rut - forever!
Just take a leap into clear-headed thinking for a while & I know you'll love the changes that come along It's the greatest gift we can give ourselves & one that you'll never regret!

Lav

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

So many good posts over the last few days! I hope everyone had a safe July 4th.

Juja- so glad you decided to stick around and keep posting. I SO get the hubby thing, and while my ex was an attorney and we had a child and many years of combat (still do) I so see what you are struggling with, and I hope and pray that you can pull thru it alot better than I did.

Wag, Lav, NS, Ava, etc..believe me I read every word you say, and it's much appreciated.

Byrdie- well what can I say? I would have never even known to go to Dr for ET's if not for you. You truly are my sister from another mother LOL. I love you.

LIS- your posts appeal to me alot. Plz keep posting. Thank you for your participation here.

I love this place. In a weird sort of way it's my 'church'. While I still struggle with emotional and of course some AL- I feel I'm not judged here. That is important to me, b/c I have been judged my whole life.

And yes...I know I need to make a decision about my parents, but I also know stopping AL might take care of some of those emotions.

I'm very close to finishing Carr's book and boy it does get to the nitty gritty at the end. Regardless of my current actions, I know I can do this.

Juja, LIS, etc..I hope we can do this together. We aren't inept. We are smart, motivated, desperate, and loving and we owe it to ourselves to do this.

Love you all,

Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

So many good posts over the last few days! I hope everyone had a safe July 4th.

Juja- so glad you decided to stick around and keep posting. I SO get the hubby thing, and while my ex was an attorney and we had a child and many years of combat (still do) I so see what you are struggling with, and I hope and pray that you can pull thru it alot better than I did.

Wag, Lav, NS, Ava, etc..believe me I read every word you say, and it's much appreciated.

Byrdie- well what can I say? I would have never even known to go to Dr for ET's if not for you. You truly are my sister from another mother LOL. I love you.

LIS- your posts appeal to me alot. Plz keep posting. Thank you for your participation here.

I love this place. In a weird sort of way it's my 'church'. While I still struggle with emotional and of course some AL- I feel I'm not judged here. That is important to me, b/c I have been judged my whole life.

And yes...I know I need to make a decision about my parents, but I also know stopping AL might take care of some of those emotions.

I'm very close to finishing Carr's book and boy it does get to the nitty gritty at the end. Regardless of my current actions, I know I can do this.

Juja, LIS, etc..I hope we can do this together. We aren't inept. We are smart, motivated, desperate, and loving and we owe it to ourselves to do this.

Love you all,

Sarah

[Lostinspace]

Newbies Nest

Wags - That's a great insight. Yes, not putting all your eggs in one basket is important. I know how hard it can be to find other outlets (especially as someone who doesn't drive in a relatively small town with spotty public transportation), but keep on looking. You'll find other things that you love and that fulfill you when the paddling falls short. And thank you for passing on this insight. I really need to consider this myself as I forge forward AF.

Juja - That sounds like a great plan for getting through the weekend. Try to focus on making yourself happy right now, not on making your husband happy. You already have enough on your plate. Wherever you decide to go with the marriage in the end, you have time to figure that out. In the meantime, be good to yourself and enjoy the long weekend. Use it as some breathing space from both AL and the stress of everything else going on. I hope you're feeling better today. :l

Sarah - Yes, we can do this together. We're all capable, determined and intelligent women. You're right - we DO owe it to ourselves. We've all suffered enough already. Let's do it!

I'm about to leave to go get ready for the ceremony with the rest of the bridal party. Yes, I'm not only attending the wedding, but IN the wedding. What a relief that I don't have to hide my drinking from everyone this whole weekend, and to know that there is absolutely NO chance that I might get too tipsy, too early in the day, and ruin one of the most beautiful days of my cousin's life! I will only add to the beauty of the day I hope you all have a wonderful Saturday!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Saturday morning Nesters,

Looks like a nice day shaping up in my portion of the nest

Lis, I hope you are firm in your commitment to stick with your plan today. Make it a great day with great memories

Greetings to everyone & sending wishes for a wonderful AF Saturday!

Lav

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Happy Saturday, Nesters!
I wanted to write yesterday but had such slooooow internet that I gave up.
A lot of great reading from yesterday.
Cherokeer, that was a very powerful post. You sound like a completely different person than the one you described, praying for help. Did I see that you recently celebrated 30 days? I can't remember exactly. I was wondering how the friends and family have reacted to your quitting? You said you were drinking for everything-- have others slowed down or stopped as well?
LIS, hope you have a wonderful time at the wedding- nice that your evening turned into such a positive experience!
Juju, I really feel for you. The stress and anxiety involved with the break up of a marriage is so difficult, even if you want it and know it's for the best. Sending you strength! Did you say you have friends and/or family to support you?

I am having a quiet day after a LONG, hard week of work. Lots of reading here, a bit of gentle exercise, some good films and food and naps!
Wishing you all a positive AF day!

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Lifechange, I'm at day 37 today. Family and friends are kind of astonished that I don't drink. Yesterday my best friend thought my not drinking was a weight loss fad. I said no I don't drink. She said forever??!! I said yes forever. She was speechless for a minute and then said okay I can respect that. Yesterday we were at a 4th of July party and there was enough alcohol to stock the neighborhood bar. Didn't bother me in the least. I thought it would but it didn't. I was just glad I wasn't being a drunk dumb ass and I wasn't going to wake up feeling like hell and wasting the rest of my weekend being sick.
It's all about perspective really. Last 4th of July it was all about the drinking. But when your in your addiction everything is about alcohol. If you don't have something to celebrate then you'll either create or stay in a stressful or crisis situation as an excuse to drink. Hell, breathing some days was the only excuse I needed. It really makes me sick now to think of the hold AL had over me. I truly look at it now as nothing more but soul stealing poison. I honestly wanted to grab my friends faces and say stop drinking that shit, you don't understand!!! But you don't know what don't know.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Lifechange, my computer posted before I was done. LOL My husband still drinks. He doesn't drink as much as he did because I won't buy it for him anymore. I told him he needs to cut down. I don't want to be "that person" who looks down on anyone else who drinks but I look at AL so differently now and even if AL is not being abused it's still not good for your health on a consistent basis.

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

NS Thanks for meditation apps idea x

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer;1679288 wrote: Lifechange, I'm at day 37 today. Family and friends are kind of astonished that I don't drink. Yesterday my best friend thought my not drinking was a weight loss fad. I said no I don't drink. She said forever??!! I said yes forever. She was speechless for a minute and then said okay I can respect that. Yesterday we were at a 4th of July party and there was enough alcohol to stock the neighborhood bar. Didn't bother me in the least. I thought it would but it didn't. I was just glad I wasn't being a drunk dumb ass and I wasn't going to wake up feeling like hell and wasting the rest of my weekend being sick.
It's all about perspective really. Last 4th of July it was all about the drinking. But when your in your addiction everything is about alcohol. If you don't have something to celebrate then you'll either create or stay in a stressful or crisis situation as an excuse to drink. Hell, breathing some days was the only excuse I needed. It really makes me sick now to think of the hold AL had over me. I truly look at it now as nothing more but soul stealing poison. I honestly wanted to grab my friends faces and say stop drinking that shit, you don't understand!!! But you don't know what don't know.

Amen to this whole post!!
I was around heavy drinkers last night and one of them sort of took me off to the side to see if he could determine what was 'WRONG' with me (he was loaded, of course). 'You used to drink all the time....I hardly see you drinking at all now', he said. If he REALLY paid attention, he'd know he hasn't seen me drink AT ALL in nearly 3.5 years! I told him it was like battery acid to my insides and that seemed to satisfy his droopy expression and weaving body. UGG. He probably won't remember the conversation today. He showed me a picture on his phone of his drunken BIL inside a dog cage with his dogs from earlier that day. The BIL is 6'4 and 220 pounds....curled up in a dog cage!....now there's something to be proud of. Yes, that is exactly the stupid stuff we do when we drink, and it seems perfectly acceptable at the time. NO MORE! Today is a beautiful day and I am waking up with a clear head and clear eyes!

Yes, Lav, I remember 'that speech' very well....you got really good at delivering it to me...I am so glad I finally listened. You should have gotten Stella after me....to peck some sense into my head! Thank you for believing in my enough to do that!!

Hope everyone has an easy day!!! XXXOO!!! Byrdie

[Trying To Be Happy]

Newbies Nest

Checking in in advance...

Hi everybody,

I have read back the last few days in this thread and love the honesty and kindness you all have for each other. Juja and Sarah, I am really glad you are both still here. Lostinspace, I hope the wedding and your weekend are going well.

My only other MWO post was 6 -8 weeks ago on the Need Help ASAP thread, but like many of you I have been lurking for years.

This post is to "register" with you all that I have just finished day 5 AF (last day drinking was June 30th). So far it has been quite straightforward. The only urge I have had was early this evening when my partner and I were heading out for dinner. He wants to stop but has not yet done so - I had the "it's Saturday night, you have done so well" and the "see, you don't have a problem! You're not even craving it so you are okay!" thoughts. It didn't take me long to interrogate them and chuck them out the window. I feel really good about that, and feel good because I am starting to feel so much better physically, and so much more in control. Baby steps - but I can see it happening.

The thing is, I have been a heavy drinker. I have been drinking for years, and I am tall and currently overweight, and have built up an incredible tolerance (I am also female, and can drink a LOT of wine in a sitting). I do have physical withdrawal but it is at the lower end. I don't drink in the morning. There are all kinds of things I can point to to talk myself out of the fact that I have a problem - but I know I do - I just haven't worked out the extent of it yet: as in whether I can moderate long term or not. If I can, I suspect it will take more than a month of abstinence to get me there - rather, a lot of work on myself and why I find it so hard to deal with life without alcohol.

Regardless of all that, in the meantime, my goal is to try a month without it. This is one of many attempts over the last few years, and I have done 1 month in 2005. In the last 2 years, I have had 2 attempts that I remember where I got to day 4. I feel pretty good at the moment, but thought that I should say hello here now - so that if and when I struggle I can come back here and post without starting from scratch.

Thanks for reading. I'll keep reading here and posting too, hopefully with the good news but I promise to come here regardless and be honest with you.

You are all amazing and I admire all of you, whether you have quit yet or not. Being honest and posting seems to be the common theme for success in this forum.

Take care and much love, all xo

[Ginger999]

Newbies Nest

Hi TTBH! Glad you "registered" here. Five days is well on your way to your final quit. I look back on those first couple of weeks and I felt like crap most of the time. It's only been the last two weeks (I'm over 60 days now) that I'm really feeling human again. So... Bravo! Your feeling the benefits of no AL so quickly. I can NO WAY moderate. I've tried that for years and years and my brain just can't do it. If I start, I don't quit so for me it has to be all or nothing. Keep checking in and posting. I'll look forward to staying in touch with you on this great journey to better health.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Hi TTBH!! :welcome: and well done on 5 days without al. It's great to see you here and your plan to abstain for 30 days and check in regularly sounds good. Have you seen the NN Roll call? It's nice to keep track of your days and if you've been lurking, you've probably seen there are prizes given out for reaching your goals. I just got a moon today for 7 days-- 2 more days and you get a moon!!

[ToMyHealth]

Newbies Nest

TTBH, I could have written almost same post minus the tall part and being able to consume lots. I've been around since May 2011, have gone AF for 14 days a few times, 11 days last July 2012. I now have exact same goal of one month, then re-evaluate. I hope we are made to feel welcome here.

I have found it to be motivating to post on the Newbie Roll Call thread. I used to think you have to wait until day is over before saying it was an AF day. Now it's like I make that decision early in day and don't waver. Check it out. Oh, and I'm right with you; today is Day 6. We can do this!

TMH

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Hi TTBH,
Congratulations on your five days. That's awesome! My advice is to read and post here daily. Ask for help when you need it, and you're gonna need it. The thing about alcoholism is that we get to a point with feeling good about having a short amount of time in, our bodies start to recover, then BAM! we destroy that good feeling with poison. It's poison to our systems. And because you had a month back in 2005, brings me to the conclusion that working on an abstinent program would be the route you need to take. It's hard to admit that and to say I'll just go for thirty days. How about just one day. Then when that day is over, another. Just keep moving forward one day at a time. Distract yourself when the beast comes a calling. We are doing this together at MWO. We've all become addicted mentally and physically to this drug they glamorize and accept as normal to drink. Sarah is reading Allan Carr's Easy Way to Stop Drinking and he makes so many good points in his book. If you can, read that one. My fav books to read are memoirs as I find them really inspiring. There are so many good ones out there. Just google! Another great listen to is "The Bubble Hour." They have various alcohol topics on there. You can download and listen at anytime. Check out any alcohol documentaries on youtube. Lots of good ones.

What I'm saying is that alcohol is not only addicting mentally and physically, but it controls every aspect of our precious lives. We live for it, plan for it, blame others for our drinking, but really, we are only to blame and we are the only person who can build a new life for ourselves. Let me tell you, I'm only 96 days today and it hasn't been easy but it's worth it.

It takes time to admit that alcohol is not meant for us. And it seems as though it's not fair to have to live without it. But I also know from reading and listening and watching that alcohol can destroy us physically and mentally. If one drinks more than a glass of wine daily, alcohol can wreak havoc on our body's organs, especially our brains, liver, and pancreas.

Read as much as you can. Check out the toolbox (in my signature line) and write a top ten list of things you can do when you have cravings and need to distract yourself. Another important thing is to reflect on your life with alcohol. Does it interfere with anything you want to do? Does it affect your relationships with others?

I hope you stay with us. This site was most instrumental for me in getting and staying sober. My work on sobriety will never be done, but I can tell you honestly that my life has never been better.