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    Newbies Nest

    Hi TMH,
    I'm glad you're taking time away from alcohol to reassess your goals. Glad you're also posting in the nest! This is a great place to get support for getting and staying away from the beast that takes up our precious time and life's goals. I know your goals are to be healthy and a great way to continue getting healthier is to eliminate alcohol. Great work!
    Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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      Newbies Nest

      TTBH - Great to have you here in the nest! Yes, honest and kindness are two of the key hallmarks of MWO in general and the NN in particular. We all have different paths, and different circumstances that brought us here, but there are many common threads in our stories - we've all struggled, fallen, gotten back up, needed help, etc. If you take in the support available here and use the tool box to develop a good plan, I'm sure you can achieve your one-month goal.

      Congrats on your 5 days, and keep posting!
      Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

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        Newbies Nest

        Hi everyone,

        Thanks again for all of your help and support the past few days. I'm so happy and grateful I got past the trigger from Thu eve and didn't drink. I'd feel like crap right now (both physically and emotionally) if I had gone ahead and caved.

        Now that I'm past the immediate need to surf the alcohol urge, I feel like I can turn my attention toward working on the deeper issues that trigger me, one of which is loneliness and feeling like my support and social networks are too small. One thing I did realize very clearly yesterday: As lonely as I sometimes feel right now while I'm still trying to meet new people and make friends here, nothing feels lonelier than drinking myself numb at home alone, which is what I would have done if I caved Thu eve.

        Ok, onward and upward...
        Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

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          Newbies Nest

          Hey Wag,
          Have you ever thought of volunteering one day a week for a couple hours? When I first retired I volunteered at the humane society walking the dogs, then I added website work for a pet rescue, then I started helping elderly people muck through paper work of all kinds. Each of those things brought me closer to great people I'd never met otherwise. Just a thought..... there is an old saying (paraphrasing here) " Do something bigger than yourself and you will reap the benefits".

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            Newbies Nest

            Ginger - Great suggestion about volunteering. I have done a fair amount of this in the past, and it's something I've explored recently as well. The main thing holding me back is my work schedule, which isn't completely fixed from week to week. I need to find opportunities where I don't have to commit to the same day/time each week, but I know there are some like that. I just need to keep looking!
            Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

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              Newbies Nest

              Welcome aboard, TTBH! We are glad you are joining us! We have lots of success here!
              My backside is going to get a workout in a couple days when I have so many 'MOONS' to award! TMH, so happy to see your success! Keep it going, you will never regret one day you spent sober!

              Wags, I have just finished baking a pile of cookies and decorating them for a neighbor whose grandkids are visiting. It has taken me dang near all day! Icing is unwieldy! I am taking them over to her shortly. Maybe you could do something like that? Something unexpected for someone who will be surprised. Early on, I would take my dog to a nursing home for visits. You wouldnt believe how good that will make you feel, and grateful that we still have our health and YOUTH! You will find your niche! I am so glad you powered thru Thursday. Yes, the cravings do get less, but sometimes they are really powerful! So happy you made it. Another win for WAGS!! :happy:

              Hope everyone is doing well today!!! Byrdie
              All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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              Newbie's Nest

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                Newbies Nest

                Chero, i love a laugh in the morning when i wake up and come on here. Breathing was an excuse to drink. I will go with that one, well i would have months ago. Work being stressful was my main excuse and since i did that 5 days a week i was pretty safe and then there was the WEEKEND, time to relax and drink more so i could hit the repeat button. Now i still sleep like crap, but thats me and i wake up every single morning to hear the birds and look in the mirror and see a woman that is not bloated, sad, hungover and afraid. Glad your friend "respects" your not drinking. Why do we have to get comments like that? You are doing really really well Chero

                Trying great work on 5 days, that is huge in af land. I have a friend that gave up al after i gave up as she thought "well if Ava can do it, anyone can" (mmmm) and she will not enable her fiance who is a very heavy drinker anymore (that would be my ex husband). He has thrown at her every excuse that your hubs has too and he has pouted and argued with her to try and get her to buy al and she refuses. He is now doing "dry July which we have here in Aus" so maybe he is finally realising that not drinking is a much better way of life. Moderation, well we can all have an opinion on that, i think the only way for most of us at the end of our drinking to career is to hold onto that thought that "maybe one day i can drink normal". An alkie cannot drink normally, we have that first one and off we go, take the bull by its horns and run with it as fast as we can until we are back to where we started. My son is a recovering crack addict, he can never have that first smoke again, just like i can never have that first glass of wine as i am a recovering alcoholic. I have accepted that fact now although it has taken a lot of acceptance since al was my best friend, my lover, my confidante, my everything when in reality al did nothing but give me pain, hurt and anguish.

                Byrd well what a lovely conversation you had. Some people are just total wankers when drunk, us included i imagine, well i know i was at times! I do hope he did not take too much time figuring out what was "wrong" with you. I, like you, never want to be the drunken fool again.

                Wag, glad to see you back. This giving up al is an emotional rollercoaster sometimes but when we get through that it makes us stronger until the next one hits. My son is having his 21st in August and tells me he wants a "keg" for his party and im like "oh great i think i will have a few drinks", then im like "where did that come from after 7 months". I would love to be a normal drinker, i crave being a normal drinker, i want to be a normal drinker........but i am not! I had a great chat to my daughter about my feelings and they are now back in their box where they belong. Its been a funny week with feelings that i could drink. Cleaning my wardrobe, "oh a wine would be nice to break the boredom", now as if the wardrobe would actually get done! But today i have woken up feeling fine, knowing they were just thoughts that would not be acted on, my life is a sober one and that is the end of the story.

                I just wanted to say good luck to Petrel today who is running 40+ kilometres (fool) ha ha. I know he has been working towards this goal since he stopped drinking and now it is finally here, a day sober and running which he loves to do. GOOD LUCK my friend. You have made me especially proud kicking al away and reaching your ultimate goal of running so damn far. I cant wait to hear all about it!
                AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                  Newbies Nest

                  I just had to share this with the nest on why it is so worthwhile to not drink. I am the luckiest mother in the world to have such beautiful children. This is from my daughter, Kiera, who is 27 and just got married last November.

                  "Good morning mum. I was just watching "Sunrise" (a chat show in Aust) and they went to the Salvation Army Drug and Al program place and there was a lady there who was drinking 3 bottles of wine a night. It reminded me of you. AND how proud i am that you did it by yourself with no rehab programs or anything. It bought a tear to my eye. Anyways just wanted to say I'm so proud that you have kept sober and are a happier person. I LOVE YOU MUM XXXX".

                  This is why I dont drink, this is why i cant drink and this is why i will never drink.

                  I did reply to her that without MWO i would never have gotten to where i am today and that i want to be the best nana and mum i can possibly be.
                  AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Wow, Ava. Stuff like that brings a tear to my eye. I am pretty proud of you, too! Not only did you receive the help, but you do so much in return. You are an amazing person! Xxoo, B
                    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                    Tool Box
                    Newbie's Nest

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Welcome TTBH! 5 days is a great start! I've had similar thoughts to the whole "I'm not even craving, so it's not a problem." Except for me I think, "I can have some beer. I don't even like beer, so I know I won't get carried away." Then I remember, wait! If I don't like even like it, then why am I so intent on having some? AL can be sneaky like that. So glad you decided to join us. Try not to worry about whether or not you can moderate at this point. Just focus on learning to live fully and without the AL-induced haze for now. I'm only on day 4 myself, so we can encourage each other on.

                      TMH - Welcome to you, too, and congrats on 6 days! I like the idea of posting early in the day to make your decision and not go back on it. I hope you stick around here and post and read.

                      Well, the wedding ceremony today was beautiful, and the reception was really nice. There actually was no alcohol there, so no temptation! My cousin had a simple ceremony and reception as she and her new husband didn't want to spend a whole lot of money starting their new lives together. Only iced tea and lemonade were served, so there wasn't even a struggle - just a nice time spent with family Day 4 is now complete. Tomorrow will be easy, as I'll just be spending a long day in the car riding home with my husband - no opportunity to stop for booze. I'll deal with Monday when it comes.

                      I hope you all have a great Saturday night!

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                        Newbies Nest

                        Hi, Everyone:

                        Welcome, TTBH and TMH. 30 days is a great start, and I used to never say this, but I am completely convinced now that there is really no point in "trying" to moderate once you have come this far in your alcohol abuse. That doesn't mean it can't be done, but it mean why bother? I keep talking about the utter freedom I feel since I gave up that chase. I have a ton more fun being present and in the moment, rather than counting my drinks, looking at my watch to see if I'm "allowed" my next drink yet, measuring, making promises, etc. My favorite saying from 3June - "If only one, why not none." All that being said, 30 days is a great commitment - just maybe keep that door open to continue being free from alcohol rather than setting a date when you "get" to drink again. I believe that is a set up for failure.

                        Ava - that brought a tear to my eye, too. So wonderful that you have such a good relationship with your kids and that they support you so much.

                        Petrel - Hope your run was a success! I can't wait to hear about it. My SiL ran a marathon (on her bucket list) last year and her time was 5:15 or something like that. I can't in my life imagine a)running 40K any faster or b) running any distance for FIVE HOURS. I hope you finished to your satisfaction!

                        LiS - Great going. Glad the wedding was a good time. Do you have a plan in place for when you get home? Lots of food and plenty of diversions for when that craving inevitably strikes?

                        I had a great day of piling stuff in a rented truck and taking it to the dump to make room for a new sofa. In the meantime, did plenty of cleaning - pretty gross how much gunk can get into corners that are forever hidden... It felt good to do it all with no July 4 hangover, and with a good night's sleep behind me. The bad part is that there is still so much to be done!

                        Happy Sober Saturday, Nest.

                        Pav

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Good evening Nesters,

                          Wow - welcome back Lifechange! Glad you are back on board with us again

                          Hello & welcome to TTBH & TMH!
                          Glad you both joined us as well. Sounds like you both have a good start & good plans - great! Stay close to the nest, lots of support available here.

                          Lis, glad your wedding went well, you survived - yay!

                          Petrel, how did it go?? We wanna know :H :H

                          Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

                          Lav
                          AF since 03/26/09
                          NF since 05/19/09
                          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                            Newbies Nest

                            LIS, what a great day for you and even better that there was no struggle!

                            Ava, wow, what a great sentiment from your daughter! I'd have been bawling but my 16 year old DS doesn't say much but that's actually a good thing as he used to say, "Mom, you're drunk!" and not happy about it.
                            Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                              Newbies Nest

                              WORST DAY EVER! I HATE DRUNK PEOPLE! ALL DAY ALL DRUNK PEOPLE. I USED TO BE ONE OF THOSE IDIOTS. STAB ME IN THE EYE!!

                              If anyone ever wanted to stop drinking a day through my eyes today would do the trick. People were getting mad at me, yelling at me because I wouldn't do shots with them. Oh my God, I'm still so mad I can't sleep. I'm trying not to squeeze my husbands face off and beat his drunk ASS with it.

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                                Newbies Nest

                                breath Chero, breath. Be very very grateful that it was not you and you are not waking up feeling like crap tomorrow. Think of the positives as you are slapping your husbands drunk arse off lol.
                                AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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