Newbies Nest

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Oh My God Ava, I'm so angry at him. He's so drunk I am afraid to sleep. The more I asked him to sit down today the more he stumbled toward anything that was sharp or could cause the most physical damage. After 7 hours I couldn't take it anymore. I actually raised my voice and used dirty words at my husband. Oh and the threats of physical violence to his person probably caught his attention a little. So of course his drunk slobbering, repetitive, beer breath, over affectionate, I'm sorries damn near sent me to the loonies bin tonight.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Seeing everyone tonight I feel like I owe the world an apology.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Sorry, Chero!

When you were that way, they were, too, right? No apologies, just thanks that that doesn't have to be you again! I have been with some people who were drunk, but no drunk fests yet. Must have been painful.

Your DH will feel awful tomorrow, and once you actually get to sleep, you'll feel so much better! Like Ava says, breathe, calm your mind, and take care of yourself!

[Ginger999]

Newbies Nest

Sorry Chero.....

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Pave, agonizing was probably a better word. How could a sane person ever think those were fun. (shaking my head) Never again.

I am getting calmer now. Still want to go donkey Kong on the DH. But the urge to drink blood is gone. Sorry I've a bit of warped humor. LOL

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Good to see the newcomers!

I have an admission that Byrdie will be especially mad at me for, and I am embarrassed to admit it, but part of this forum is to remain honest.

I had 3-4 beers and a glass or two of wine last night and still took my last dose of Klonopin. While I only took 1/2 at the last dose hour (as I do with the first)...I ran into the end table and the lamp almost fell on me. I almost called my hubby for help (he was asleep), but instead I ate a huge meal and felt better. I feel like I'm in a catch 22 cause even with the anxiety meds I still have the Et's, and a couple of drinks help that so I can function. It is certainly one of the most odd feelings I have had.

Tonight- I drank about the same, but it's not 1 a.m. yet for my next dose, and wondering if I should take it or not. I know for a fact you shouldn't mix AL with Klonopin. Look- I know I'm an idiot. Noone could tell me what I don't already know, yet I still do it.

Even after a couple of drinks, I have shown my hubby my ET's, and while some days are worse than others, AL is really the only think that helps me control it. Of course, my anxiety level has gone down, due to the meds, so I know it's not that right now.

I'm calling Dr. on Monday to hopefully get help with the Et's, but until then- I am playing with fire. If I felt I could deal with the Et's w/o AL I would have done it, but I can't. I can hardly take my meds at all w/o my head bobbing up and down, and my water glass shaking so bad, that getting down a pill is like keeping my Beagle from a possum. Not to mention I can hardly chop onions, celery, grate cheese, etc. I just can't.

Hubby did say he would watch me, and surely going to get next appt I can, but I am worried about my next dose...in an hour..or less..so uncertain what to do.

Love,

Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Good to see the newcomers!

I have an admission that Byrdie will be especially mad at me for, and I am embarrassed to admit it, but part of this forum is to remain honest.

I had 3-4 beers and a glass or two of wine last night and still took my last dose of Klonopin. While I only took 1/2 at the last dose hour (as I do with the first)...I ran into the end table and the lamp almost fell on me. I almost called my hubby for help (he was asleep), but instead I ate a huge meal and felt better. I feel like I'm in a catch 22 cause even with the anxiety meds I still have the Et's, and a couple of drinks help that so I can function. It is certainly one of the most odd feelings I have had.

Tonight- I drank about the same, but it's not 1 a.m. yet for my next dose, and wondering if I should take it or not. I know for a fact you shouldn't mix AL with Klonopin. Look- I know I'm an idiot. Noone could tell me what I don't already know, yet I still do it.

Even after a couple of drinks, I have shown my hubby my ET's, and while some days are worse than others, AL is really the only think that helps me control it. Of course, my anxiety level has gone down, due to the meds, so I know it's not that right now.

I'm calling Dr. on Monday to hopefully get help with the Et's, but until then- I am playing with fire. If I felt I could deal with the Et's w/o AL I would have done it, but I can't. I can hardly take my meds at all w/o my head bobbing up and down, and my water glass shaking so bad, that getting down a pill is like keeping my Beagle from a possum. Not to mention I can hardly chop onions, celery, grate cheese, etc. I just can't.

Hubby did say he would watch me, and surely going to get next appt I can, but I am worried about my next dose...in an hour..or less..so uncertain what to do.

Love,

Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Good to see the newcomers!

I have an admission that Byrdie will be especially mad at me for, and I am embarrassed to admit it, but part of this forum is to remain honest.

I had 3-4 beers and a glass or two of wine last night and still took my last dose of Klonopin. While I only took 1/2 at the last dose hour (as I do with the first)...I ran into the end table and the lamp almost fell on me. I almost called my hubby for help (he was asleep), but instead I ate a huge meal and felt better. I feel like I'm in a catch 22 cause even with the anxiety meds I still have the Et's, and a couple of drinks help that so I can function. It is certainly one of the most odd feelings I have had.

Tonight- I drank about the same, but it's not 1 a.m. yet for my next dose, and wondering if I should take it or not. I know for a fact you shouldn't mix AL with Klonopin. Look- I know I'm an idiot. Noone could tell me what I don't already know, yet I still do it.

Even after a couple of drinks, I have shown my hubby my ET's, and while some days are worse than others, AL is really the only think that helps me control it. Of course, my anxiety level has gone down, due to the meds, so I know it's not that right now.

I'm calling Dr. on Monday to hopefully get help with the Et's, but until then- I am playing with fire. If I felt I could deal with the Et's w/o AL I would have done it, but I can't. I can hardly take my meds at all w/o my head bobbing up and down, and my water glass shaking so bad, that getting down a pill is like keeping my Beagle from a possum. Not to mention I can hardly chop onions, celery, grate cheese, etc. I just can't.

Hubby did say he would watch me, and surely going to get next appt I can, but I am worried about my next dose...in an hour..or less..so uncertain what to do.

Love,

Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

sorry for multiple posts...it happens when the site goes tits up

[available]

Newbies Nest

Sorry to say Sarah but i have no advice for you. Every bit of advice I have given you has fallen on deaf ears. My advice is to do as you please and hope it doesnt affect you at the end of the day.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Ava- it hasn't. plz don't give up on me!

Love,

Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

eh well- maybe I am 'unhelpable'. Maybe I am a burden to all here. However, I feel this forum helps so I willl continue with it. Sorry I upset you Ava.

Sarah

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Good MAE, Nesters. a lovely Sunday morning in my neck of the woods and I am SOOO happy to be where I am, of sound (), clear mind, headache free, excited about the day, optimistic about life, thrilled to be here and in such good company. I know times of struggle and doubt will come, but for now I am enjoying what I have. I remember the last time I was successful and happy without al, I was practising being as present in the moment as possible and that is what I'm trying to do now. --especially at work, which is one of my big triggers-- if my mind begins to wander, I just gently bring myself back to the present. If I begin to become agitated, panicked, sad, angry, whatever, I concentrate just on my breath and try to bring myself back into the moment. Into NOW. It really worked last time and now seems to be working again.

Cherokeer, I hope you're sound asleep in lalaland-- I can imagine how frustrating (to say the least!!) that must have been last night with hubs. I feel bad for how he's going to feel today!! I never want to feel like that again. Maybe with your good example, he'll, at some point, be ready to give it a try, too. Is he always drinking so much? Anyway, you will wake up fresh and ready to face the day--

LIS, sounds like a lovely wedding! I'm glad you didn't even have to deal with being tempted. Your cousin sounds like a pretty amazing woman--very wise. Most people feel like they have to show off at their wedding--have the biggest and the best, please all the guests with an open bar. She seems to be a positive influence on your life! Hubs is feeling better? You are going to come up with a good plan for the week and will get through it AF and with bells on your toes, stronger and stronger with your success!!

Lav,:l it is so damn good to be back on my branch! I was a bit scared to come back and it took me a long time-- I think because I was, 1. scared to make the commitment to quit (AGAIN) 2. afraid that I couldn't do it-- Finally!!! I decided I have nothing to lose. Only something to gain.

Ava, what a beautiful message from your daughter.:h She's so lucky to have you in her life. I remember when my mom quit drinking for real (about 10 years after she began trying to) it took me a long time to really believe it was for good. I was excited, but kept a bit of myself safe and ready for disappointment. When I realised this is really for real!, I was able to open up and now she is my closest friend. It sounds like you have that in both of your girls. It's a real gift, isn't it? I'm so happy for you.

Hope you all have a nice Sunday. I guess I will be checking in often today to see how everyone is.!

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Message for Sarah 42

Hi Sarah 42,
Your Essential Tremors sound very tough, from what you say they seem really strong and powerful. However even if alcohol does calm them down surely in the long term this is just exacerbating the problem. The more you give in to alcohol the more you are feeding your addiction (I'm sure you know this). You say the doctor has given you klonopin, maybe after a few days with no alcohol and just the klonopin the Essential Tremors would die down. I am sure I remember reading about someone else on here who had ETs and has dealt with them, not sure but was it Byrdie?? Perhaps whoever that person was can offer you advice.

Body shakes and twitches etc are confusing. It can be hard to see how they originate, whether they are just there or caused by alcohol. When I drank heavily during the night I would have myoclonic jerks, whole body would twitch. When I stopped drinking for the first week I got these really badly before sleeping but then they faded off after a few weeks off the booze. I still get the odd twitch before dropping off to sleep but that is normal.

I wish you well I think it would be worth seeing how the ETs were with no alcohol for two weeks, then if they were still there or worse going back to doctor and explaining what has happened, see if he can suggest an alternative to alcohol to control them.

Good luck in your mission
xx

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

when your doctor prescribed the klonopin, did you tell him you are an active alcoholic?

looks to me like you are running with the et's to push the alcohol problem into the not important list. it IS important.

you need to STOP drinking and give it time, to then assess the et's.

alcohol is the cause of so many problems that it can blurr the lines of cause and effect.

what happened to the tapering you started in february?