Newbies Nest

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Greetings,
There is a lovely happy feeling in here at the moment, which is great to see and be part of. I had a set back recently in that I have developed an infection (where breast used to be). This worried me as originally I got an infection from the implant and that was taken out, and not put back, and now I have an infection again (depressing, worrying and extremely painful).

Sorry for all the detail, I am talking about it on here as I feel more at home here than on cancer forums. This week I am supposed to be attending all sorts of appointments.... scans, injections, blood tests, bone tests.... all in preparation for chemotherapy, I am postponing them all as the pain and exhaustion from the infection are just too strong. I am seeking medical advice, I actually feel I need to go back into hospital to be on an antibiotic drip and be looked after, the amount of pain killers I am taking at the moment worries me. I feel I can't go on like this.

The nights are the worst as by then I have used up all the pain killers and getting through the night is really painful.

I feel completely locked in at the moment and not coping...... I feel I am having to really fight to sort all of this out and I don't feel I have the energy.

It has helped to type this, one good thing I have taught myself a new technique for getting out of bed so that is less painful, really I did it with youtube, the physio didn't help so much, she demonstrated a move but did not have a print out and did not let me practice it in front of her..... I did all the follow up work.

Even though I live in London the travelling from different hospitals/medical centres is exhausting.

Another good thing is that I have managed to do some work from home.

Soon I will ask my friends for some help with cleaning/tidying as that at present is too much for me.

I feel extremely frightened about what lies ahead, I have pushed for councelling but am still waiting. I have talked to two people at work, one who has been through breast cancer and one who has it right now. I have talked about chemotherapy, I have read about it. I am scared.

Thanks for reading this, it seems really off topic, but at the moment this is my life.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Hey @Sam, you mentioned about weaning of the PPI..so far I'm just taking one every other day...what other tips do you have? My gastro didn't tell me I needed to wean off, but I fell I am better now and can start weaning off it. TIA

Sarah

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone. I've been offline for a few days. I will go back and do some reading tonight. Welcome to the newcomers. I hope everyone is well.

Well I finally competed in my marathon yesterday at the Gold Coast, Queensland Australia. It was a magnificent day, beautiful weather. The winner was a young 22 YO Kenyan who broke the course record in under 2 hours 10 min.

For me, well I survived. I finished in 3 hours 44 min. I'm so happy to have done it. The time was okay for me at 50 years of age and my first attempt, but I'll be back next year planning on improving.

I know getting AL out of my life has allowed me to train enough for this. In the past, I would have celebrated an event like this with lots of drinking. Not this time. I had no temptation yesterday when I finished. Just keen to do more events. I'm so happy today. It feels like quite an achievement. I loved the event. Motivated and lovely people. Just plenty of reasons for me not to drink. I would recommend it to everyone.

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

I think your run Petrelhead is fantastic! Huge well done:goodjob:

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Roxanne

Roxanne,
Those kittens are utterly beautiful, I keep looking at them. I find pets so healing. My neighbour's cat is gorgeous and gives me lots of joy. A few years ago she had kittens and I would watch them for hours and hours, they were so trusting, so perfect.

I live up high and it would not be fair to keep a dog or cat here but one day I will move then I will get a dog and a cat. I won't get a dog for many years yet as I don't one until I retire, I would not want him/her to be alone all day.

I'm not going to get a cat until I move as if I had a cat now they would have to negociate two doors, lots of outside steps to go out then a road where the cars zoom up and down, I don't want to get a house cat as I feel that is tough on the cat. I want my future cat to have fun outside.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

DD, I just want to say that I'm sorry for all the pain you are having to go through. I have no personal experience with cancer or the type of infection you're describing, but I think if you feel like you're too exhausted and in too much pain to get to the appointments required, you probably should get back into the hospital for the antibiotics. It doesn't sound like the infection is clearing up with whatever has been prescribed. Do you have someone you can talk to today? :l:l and strength to you, DD.

Petrel, well done on the marathon. Your time is great! Even for someone much younger who has run one before-- I'm back in the beginning of a fitness journey, so you are inspiring.

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

I think one of the things that upsets me at the moment is that I feel stuck, there is the famous saying "One day at a time" sometimes it is so hard to apply that !! Also the other thing that is hard at the moment is that I have felt too ill to see friends/get out/go for walks, all of these things were previously very helpful. Being in touch by phone/text etc is not so good. Once I feel a bit physically better I will let people visit me again.

Still haven't quite mastered meditating but I will get there!

I am enjoying hearing from my friends about their day to day activities, also work.... I miss the people, not the paper work. My life feels too enclosed, just endless appointments. I am enjoying reading on here all the lovely things people are doing, one day I will be able to do those sort of things. I think I just have to "hang in there"!!

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Lifechange yes I do have someone I can talk to today, as well as talking to my family I am going to phone one of the breast cancer nurses. By the way I think you are doing a great job, you seem to be really treasuring your sobriety, really relishing it. Although I am going through a dark phase right now I thank God (literally) that all the obsession with alcohol is over.... no longer is it a part of my life, so in that way I do feel free!

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Londoner

Hiya,
How are you? You posted about your feelings about the concert. How did it go?

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

DD- my g'mt had double mastecomies. About 10 yrs apart... I reccall her staying in her evening gown and on the meds. Finally, she did get up and start cooking again! She played Bridge with her friends and put together puzzles. Kept her mind at ease I guess. Her 2nd was a little more difficult. She didn't have as much enthusiam as the first, but she made it thru.

You can do this!!!!!!!!!!! I know it doesn't help much, but my thoughts and prayers are with you!

Love,

Sarah

[available]

Newbies Nest

DD hugs to you girl, keep up trying to feel positive, we know what negative feelings do to us but i can only imagine how hard it is to think of all the positives when you are in pain. If you are having counselling through the hospital, do they have a public liason officer? Our hospitals have these people that you can go to if you do not feel happy with the service you are receiving and have to act on any request. I have a friend who was diagnosed with anal cancer and he waited and waited for his examination and they put him in the wrong category for treatment. I passed this onto him and he was definitely prioritised as the hospital had made a mistake. Its hard if you dont know the resourses that are available. You are a positive force on MWO DD and if we can help even by you venting it is a pleasure. You inspire me that you have given up drinking and diagnosed with cancer and still wont drink. You are a strong and determined woman that will get better in time and we all know that everything is only "one day at a time". Do you have a friend that could help you go to appts and arrange them to take the load off you at the moment? Every little bit helps and you can always repay twofold when you are well.

Petrel, so proud of you for running the run. I would still be going and going and going. You have come such a long way on this journey and i know you have "got it" now.

London where are you? Whatever has happened has happened, well if anything happened that is. Please check in with us.

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

taken forever to get on to reply and ava has beaten me to it.

i was going to ask if there was an advocate/liason. you mention the nurse, which is great but is there anyone else?

im not sure if you have to be referred to macmillians, i dont think you do, but they are extremely good with drugs protocol and wot not and are also independent from the hospital.

as a charity, they can be stretched, so the sooner you get on their 'books' the better.

petrel, i would have gasped my last at 5k, who am i kidding, 1k.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

DD, thanks for the congrats. I'm sorry to hear the hardship you're facing at the moment. You sound so strong and calm. And your attitude is positive. That's so important. Better days ahead very soon.

Rox, thanks. 1 km will become 5, then 10, then 42.2 in no time )

Life change, I'm glad you're inspired. Exercise is so good at any point, but even more so when you're trying to get the junk out of your life, eg: alcohol.

Ava, a huge thank you!!!

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

DD, A couple of questions for you. Have they done a culture ands sensitivity of the infection site to identify what antibiotic the infection will respond to? And have they determined whether it is a possible allergic reaction to the implant? And last but not least have you started chemo yet? Sorry for all the questions and you can personal message me the answers and I can actually give you some good answers.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Didn't read back but will later. Day 1 again. Ugh! Highly recommend not thinking you can moderate again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!