Newbies Nest

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Another Day 1 and not much else to say. Hubs and I have been having a time of it lately. Don't know why.....but I know my drinking again is not helping the situation. My plan is to go on date night tonight with him and drink sprite or tonic and lime.

When I had a good amount of AF time under my belt, I remember thinking this is so easy...not drinking I mean.....I guess I thought since it was so easy at that time, if I started again, I would not have any trouble quitting again. Well, EVERYTHING Byrdie and Lav and K9 say is TRUE.....Do not test yourself. The drinking is WORSE and much harder to quit. Why? oh Why? did I ever take that first drink at the beach in June.....180 days and now back to the drawing board.

[frances]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back Ican - the good and positive thing is that you are here now and starting over. And your story will help others. Like me, who at 134 days sometimes finds myself thinking 'I can control it now, can't I'? Rational me knows I definitely cannot. And your post helps to reinforce that. You did 180 days before so you know what to do - you can use this experience to avoid the same thing that happened to make you go back. Always remember what happened and don't let that f'er try to make you think it will be different. A lesson for us all!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1680718 wrote:
When I had a good amount of AF time under my belt, I remember thinking this is so easy...not drinking I mean.....I guess I thought since it was so easy at that time, if I started again, I would not have any trouble quitting again. Well, EVERYTHING Byrdie and Lav and K9 say is TRUE.....Do not test yourself. The drinking is WORSE and much harder to quit. Why? oh Why? did I ever take that first drink at the beach in June.....180 days and now back to the drawing board.

You still have those 6 months, Ican, and you can get back to living the way you want. Have you listened to this podcast? It has helped many people.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Ican
Suggest you think of how it started all over again, triggers, that sort of thing and see how to recognize it next time. AL will always give another temptation. It does not give a shit about you but just wants to be fed.
Glad you are back
Sam

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Ican - Glad you're back. Try not to focus on slipping after 180+ days, but focus on all that AF time you gave your body and brain, and learn what you can to get there again. It definitely seems to get harder to quit, but you now have new neural connections that will quickly reassemble if you nourish and support them. Keep posting, we're here to help you get back in the saddle.

DD - I will be keeping you in my thoughts. I hope your scans all come back clean, that the process isn't too terribly painful, and that you get some relief for the pain and infection very soon. Kudos on protecting your quit during this very stressful time.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Ican, I will ditto what the others have said. I agree, for me it has been more difficult each time I begin to drink, to stop again. But it is very useful to have had a long stretch of sober time. I think, like Wags said, that if you let yourself have the chance, you will find that the 180 days you gave yourself are still there, they don't disappear-- you did the time and your body and brain had some time to heal. It's very important not to beat yourself up over it, but to try to use what happened to learn. I LOVED the podcast that NS posted. :l to you.

xo to all of you! My Mom is calling long distance :h, so I'll check in again later..

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Bran New Day and Ican,
I'm echoing what everyone has said. We need to have a healthy amount of fear of Al as it is a beast, a lion, and will eat us up any chance he thinks he has. So we need to keep a safe distance away from him, although we know that impossible to stay far away at times, we know what our temptations are and be mindful of them.

DD, you're in my prayers and thoughts. I hope today goes well with the scans and you don't have too much discomfort. Lean on those that can help you. You know you would do for others, and that's what neighbors and friends are for. Hugs, Friend.

Have a super AF day all!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Everyone:

Ican - welcome back. That healthy fear of alcohol is what helps keep me sober. NoSugar found this blog yesterday and I think it is relevant to share in the Nest: Playing the film to the end. The actual end.

Sarah - Great to hear that you're seeing your doctor and talking about alcohol. A brave step.

DD - good luck with your scans.

BND - Glad you're feeling and looking good. It only gets better! Keep it up.

Londoner - You CAN do this. We are here to help. Being young must be more of a struggle. Greg Williams who made the documentary film The Anonymous People about the recovery movement (and taking the shame out of recovery) was very young when he got sober (age 17 I think). Maybe he is someone you could "connect" with, or maybe there is a young sober group in your area. It might be nice to meet some young people who have fun doing things other than drinking and doing drugs.

Good to see you back, Frances.

I am trying to motivate for a lot of home projects today. Cold and cloudy so the outdoors aren't calling, but maybe my sofa is...

Happy 100 days to J-Vo - you're an excellent role model for us - working, thinking and being sober!

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

J-VO,
Congratulations on 100 big days!!!
:finger:
This is for telling AL 'UP YOURS'!! We are all so proud of you! Thank you for being such a vital part of the NN in particular and MWO in general! You are the epitome of what this site is all about. Here's to many hundreds of sober days ahead!! Well done!!!
Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening all Nesters,

Great going J-Vo
Be proud & stick around too!

Ican, I hope tonight's plan worked out for you

Greetings to everyone & wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Slow day in the nest! Hope everyone is hanging in, Rahul, we are waiting for pictures!! Hugs to all, B

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for my congrats. I ain't goin' nowhere!

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Yeah!!! J-VO 100 days AWESOME!!!!!!

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Cherokeer!!!

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Pavati;1680788 wrote: Hi, Everyone:

Ican - welcome back. That healthy fear of alcohol is what helps keep me sober. NoSugar found this blog yesterday and I think it is relevant to share in the Nest: Playing the film to the end. The actual end.

Pav and NS - that blog really struck a chord and made me cry...it was so raw and so real and used to be my life. That line at the end about convincing herself that everyone hated her was incredibly powerful and resonated. During the last months before I quit, I was completely convinced that nobody -- including my teenaged girls -- would miss me if I died, that they didn't need me, that life would be better off for them without me in it.

Almost 4 months later, I'm AF, 25 pounds lighter, doc took me off blood pressure meds, I'm happy again, a pretty awesome and fun mom with more patience than I ever knew I had, and I can very clearly see that even when I was a mess, my death would have been the worst thing my children would ever go through in life. But at the time, I truly believed they wouldn't miss me. I don't understand how I ever convinced myself otherwise, and looking back it frightens me, but that is the power of a brain controlled by addiction.

Everyone, everyone, EVERYONE should read that blog linked above. Life becomes so incredibly wonderful again without AL in it. That's a guarantee and a promise!

Also, CONGRATULATIONS j-vo!!!!