Newbies Nest

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Peppersnow - I was really moved by your post in response to the "Playing the Film" blog. You have definitely come a long way and accomplished a lot in 4 months. I can only imagine the relief and gratitude you must feel for discovering how inaccurate your perspective was while drinking. I'm guessing that your daughters are overjoyed to have you back and in such a healthy mental and physical state. This is something we can all learn from, and I appreciate that you shared more about your journey.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

So, went to Dr. today. He is referring me to a neuro, but said it would take some time. He also order full blood work and I should get that back in 2-3 days. I go back to him in 2 weeks anyway for the anx so hopefully I have more info.

Thanks to all who thought of me.

Thinking of you today DD, and hope u keep us updated!


Much love to all,

Sarah

[bran new day]

Newbies Nest

Hi All . I can't remember who said it , but to view Al like heroin . My new way of looking at a bottle shop is to just look at the cigarette counter and say to myself , but I don't smoke [ never have ] and then say and I don't drink either . " Walk on nothing to see here ".Day 3 and starting to feel great again . BND .

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters!!

Peppersnow, your post touched me as well, as did the blog you mentioned. She describes the hell of addiction so well and that could have been me to a tee. So many of us. And then she gives a glimpse of what life can be if we take the steps to get out of the trap of addiction. You sound wonderful--like you have re-discovered who you are/can be, like you are reclaiming your life. I'm happy to be on that path as well. I feel very grateful today for having taken the first steps (albeit AGAIN!) in the right direction-

BND, you are also on the right path and so great that you're feeling better after 3 days. It just takes some of us (I'd guess most of us) quite a few tries to get it right. I was beating myself up a lot the past 6 months, as I tried to get back to where I was. It was hard to get past the "starting over"-- but actually, as long as we are learning from our mistakes, we aren't really starting from square one. We have our experiences to help us. Now I don't mind which day I'm on as long as I'm moving forward, which I am. You sound to be in a good state of mind-- so each day can be a celebration of FREEDOM!!

DD, thinking of you!!:l

Sarah, do you have a plan for the next days until you get the blood test results/ neuro appt.? Are you still taking the anti anxiety meds? How are you feeling in general today?

Ican, How are you today???

I had a very grumpy day yesterday-- had a bit of a sugar hangover from the night before and felt just generally out of sorts. Today is looking better. Like Byrdie says, we usually don't have too many down days in a row if we keep the al out of our systems. Mostly this is true for me, too.

Wishing you all a good Thursday..

[frances]

Newbies Nest

Great post Peppersnow - I am so happy to hear how much better things are for you now!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Happy Thursday to all

Pepper, your story just goes to show how much of a depressant AL truly is, we are truly better off without. Thanks for sharing & congrats on your success.

Sarah, I hope you stick around & stay on plan while you work thru your difficulties.

LC, the older I get the less I am able to handle any food indulgence
Sugar is something that I have been steering clear of (as much as possible) for years now. Although the occasional home baked dairy & gluten free cookie is OK

Wishing everyone a great AF day!

Lav

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

I'm not sure if anyone has posted this yet (I have a lot of reading to do) but I came across this video on FB this morning and it really spoke to me.

Supermodel, actress, and fashion icon Amber Valletta opens up for the first time ever about the daily struggle of living with addiction.

How I Live With Addiction Every Day: Amber Valletta

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Mein,
That was an excellent video. Some things that resonated with me...

*If you do something enough, you will change. It will eventually change for you. So if you stay long enough in sobriety, build up those AF days, your life will change for the better.

*Stay still in the moment and don't run from everything. Don't try to get out of the feeling, good or bad, by numbing with alcohol.

*Be of service to others. It's important for us to help other addicts, to be there for them and we need the same. Whatever works for you...MWO, AA, Sober Recovery, whatever combination makes it click for you, stay with it. Look for other options if one thing isn't enough. But stay in a community and be there for others.

*Go inward...what do I need to do to be a better person?

Thanks Mein.

Pepper,
Heartfelt post. I read that one, too, and even though everyone's circumstances may be somewhat different, we all want and need to come out of that darkness. So happy for you and your girls.

Learning about recovery, something everyday, is making sobriety look better and better. Stick with it.

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

BND,
That was Jane who viewed alcohol as heroin. A great idea. I can't use the cigarette idea! I salivate when I see or smell them. Sounds like you're on a good road, BND, and are taking this one day at a time. Keep posting. Keep reading. Keep listening.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, All!
Peppersnow, you have nailed it again. I was in a similar place there at the end...I didn't really care much if I lived or died. What a SAD, DARK place to be. Everything was just going down and spiraling out of control, but what is sadder is that it was ALL attributable to ONE THING: Alcohol.

It sure is a different life now. Is everything sunshine and roses? No, it isn't. I can tell you this, I have a new appreciation for life and just how short it is and I don't plan to waste one more minute of it being a slave to AL. When I look back it is just SCARY to think just how powerful this addiction is. Like Pepper said, to think that our loved ones wouldn't care if we were gone? To reduce us to the slaves we were to getting our fix at the expense of our loved ones? That is the power of addiction.

If you have your quit going, keep on trucking! If you are procrastinating about starting, do it today! It is only going to drag you down deeper and deeper until WE say enough! Change is hard, and I don't like it any more than the next person, but this one was worth it. Getting AL out of my life was the single BEST thing I have done for myself! Do it today and don't let AL rob you of another precious day! I promise you won't be sorry.
Hope everyone has an easy day today. xo, Byrdie

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

?I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn?t understand why the happiness never came, couldn?t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn?t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn?t made me feel good in years.?

― Heather King, Parched

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1681060 wrote:
It sure is a different life now. Is everything sunshine and roses? No, it isn't. I can tell you this, I have a new appreciation for life and just how short it is and I don't plan to waste one more minute of it being a slave to AL. When I look back it is just SCARY to think just how powerful this addiction is. Like Pepper said, to think that our loved ones wouldn't care if we were gone? To reduce us to the slaves we were to getting our fix at the expense of our loved ones? That is the power of addiction.

If you have your quit going, keep on trucking! If you are procrastinating about starting, do it today! It is only going to drag you down deeper and deeper until WE say enough! Change is hard, and I don't like it any more than the next person, but this one was worth it. Getting AL out of my life was the single BEST thing I have done for myself! Do it today and don't let AL rob you of another precious day! I promise you won't be sorry.
Hope everyone has an easy day today. xo, Byrdie

Great post. You don't realise what a colourful world the place is until you live a life free from the slave master that is AL.

To sum it up - when I drink the World seems a dark, blurry place.

It takes a while, but when you get those rays of light, you realise just how much you truly are missing out on when you let AL dominate you.

To enjoy a simple conversation. To be moved by a song. To bask in the glory of nature. These are all things that you appreciate so much more when AL free.

AL, for me, puts me at the centre of a selfish universe. Everything is about me. My emotions. My moods. Me. Me. Me. And that is not a good place to be.

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Mein Sonnenschein;1681068 wrote: ?I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn?t understand why the happiness never came, couldn?t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn?t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn?t made me feel good in years.?

― Heather King, Parched

:h Wow! That sums it up perfectly! The lure of what COULD be.

Not what WILL be.

That explains so much. I've been asking myself so many questions - and that one superb quote makes so much sense.

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Londoner, I totally, totally agree. This has been my mindset for years, along with the feeling that if I didn't have a drink while out socially, then I am "missing out".

I just ordered this book to my Ipad and will begin reading it today.

[narilly]

Newbies Nest

Wow, Mein, that was a great post. The lure of what COULD be.
I just looked the book up too, Parched, it sounds good. I am going to read it too after I finish the one I am on.
Wow, I have a huge list of books to read and alot I got from all of you.
a couple are:
High Sobriety: My life without Booze, Jill Stark
Liars Club, Mary Carr


I am really enjoying life without AL. The struggle was took so much energy. My AL brain keeps rearing its head though and tells me it wasn't that bad. Lucky I have written down details of a few times I lost control drinking last year and I can refer to them when I start thinking this way.
A big thing that helps me is coming here.
Thank you everyone!