Newbies Nest

[Pie]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!

All checked in, and enjoying the view from my twig. Special thanks to Byrdlady, available, Lavande, j-vo, and lifechange for your welcoming words. Feeling good mentally with Day One in the rearview mirror. Physically, meh, but way better than a hangover.

momofthree, I think we started on the same day. No young kids around here, just two octogenarians who can't be counted on to sleep through the night either! :H

Happy AF day to everyone!

Pie :thanks:

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1681359 wrote: Sarah, everything you do you do by choice. If you want to move forward then you have to stop drinking AL. If you prefer to remain stuck in the same old rut then just keep drinking. Delaying your quit over & over get you nowhere. We all had a day 1 & survived to have a day 2, 3 & so on. You have nothing to fear - just have a little faith & give it a try. You already know your mother is not responsive to you, move on from those expectations too. I know it hurts but you have to help yourself along! Lav

Sarah, you and I both started on MWO about the same time I think, right around 4 months ago, right? Have you tried Day 1 yet and gotten through it? Just 1 day? I'm asking that sincerely - there is no sarcasm in that question.

My reason for asking is because you are on Clonazepam (valium) right now, which is a benzo prescribed to treat alcohol withdrawal symptoms!!! I know that's not why your Dr. prescribed it to you, so you are so much more fortunate and better positioned than anyone else on this site who does not have the benefit of meds and has tried Day 1 and gotten through it. So frankly, it kind of kills me that you are abusing this drug and don't see what a gift that is to try to get through at least 24 hours of not drinking.

I was drinking nearly a 1/2 liter of vodka or gin a day and was terrified of the DT's...seeing hallucinations while driving my kids....freaking out at work...seizures, etc. Are you afraid of any of those things? By your description, you don't drink nearly as much as some of us did (or at least as much as I did), so your risk of dangerous withdrawal should be pretty low. Which makes it that much more confusing (at least to me) why --- if you actually have the meds to treat withdrawal and make quitting easier that most newbies who would LOVE to get their hands on but are too embarassed to ask their doctor to prescribe -- why you haven't yet shared a plan for your Day 1. You yourself said that the tremors, etc., are just excuses.

You've said you want advice, so here's mine: DO IT NOW and stop giving yourself excuses to delay. The hard reality is that once your doctor finds out you are mixing AL with Clonazepam he/she will rip up your prescription right in front of you, and totally should, because you are abusing a narcotic. Your physician would risk malpractice by allowing you to continue using it. And he/she WILL be able to tell by your bloodwork if you're drinking - your absorption of B12 will be low, your magesium will be low, and these days doctors usually check the CDT levels (Carbohydrate-deficient transferrin) of any patient who is taking benzos or if they suspect alcoholism, which is a test that detects long-term alcohol misuse. (I didn't have a CDT test, but my doc guessed because my B and magnesium were in the basement so it wasn't needed). When you DO lose your prescription for clonazepam (and you should because you're abusing it) you will have blown this chance forever of getting meds to help you quit, because they'll never trust you to prescribe it again.

It is not my intention to sound cold or mean - it is meant with the most sincere hope that you not blow this chance. If you truly want to quit, you have the medical tool to do it right now that most people don't, but you're going to lose it after your next dr. appointment. If you actually want to quit, do it now.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!
Great posts overnight...(as usual)

DD, so glad you are making new memories, it gives your head a break from the same ole same ole! Good, new experiences help us all!

Londoner, acceptance is a tough step and it looks like you are there...In the five stages of grief, acceptance is often the one that takes the longest to overcome. I am heartened by your positive post...here's to new beginnings of a life NOT chained to a substance!

Peppersnow, what an insightful post. I wish I'd had some relief from the cravings when I first started out, I just white knuckled it. Great points in that post....DO IT NOW it the best advice there is. Tomorrow never comes in our world.

LifeChange made such an important point. Even when you come here and no one has posted...you may feel like you are talking to yourself, but you are doing several important things by typing out your feelings, regardless (or if you like fingernails on a blackboard, irregardless!) This site gets between 2500-3000 visitors a day. A DAY! So even if no one is actually responding, there are people out there that YOUR post might be helping....or at making them feel like they are not alone. This is a very lonely disease/condition. Secondly, it gets it out of your head....just THAT alone can relieve some of the agitation up there. Organizing your thoughts and getting them down somewhere really works! Sometimes we actually answer our own questions! So GETTING IT OUT of your head and down on virtual paper helps you put perspective on the situation. Lastly, it gives you a reference point as to where you were at each stage of this journey. I can look back at my early days and months and see how far I have grown. It is great documentation of your progress (or if you need a kick in the arse). Sometimes when no one else words will get thru, the ones your wrote in the depths of despair will. So this is the place to get it out there!

You will never find a more sympathetic bunch of folks than right here in this nest! Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Thanks - a second realisation for today.

The only time I'm really asked out by friends now is.....for drinks. Is it because they know I'll get pissed up with them? Probably. They need someone to drink with....

Either way, I either need to get a new positive social support circle, or make it clear to my friends what my intentions are with booze (which they'll laugh at, as I've said it before, again and again).

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Hi again, Nesters!!

Pie, great to see you here again today! I know how you feel with the physical meh--glad you're feeling better mentally, though. I hope you will begin to feel better physically in a day or 2. Even a week of feeling meh is better than being hungover, I agree with you there! Keep us all up to date with how you're doing!

Momof3, BBQ sounds fun! and af punch the perfect drink. You are so fortunate that your husband doesn't drink--it was probably a PIA when you were drinking! But now that you've quit you'll have a great source of support. If you're really craving, is he someone you can let it all out to? Does he understand what you're trying to do? I'm just wondering.. sorry if I'm being too nosy. You are so right about how much easier it is when not cranky and moody from the night before-- and 2 under 2 is a challenge to say the least!

Hi Londoner--I'm so glad to see you back here and sounding strong in your realisations. It would be so nice if you could find some friends that don't drink--I've probably asked this before, but aren't there some guys in your professional field that don't drink? I know a lot of body building - sport type guys that don't touch the poison. ?

Hi Peppersnow, you're doing so well in your quit. That was a good post to Sarah--
Sarah, I really hope you will take the advice and try it out... Just to get through a day or 2 can be enough to have a very different perspective.

Byrdie, Lav!! and everyone else checking in today...

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

lifechange;1681871 wrote:
Hi Londoner--I'm so glad to see you back here and sounding strong in your realisations. It would be so nice if you could find some friends that don't drink--I've probably asked this before, but aren't there some guys in your professional field that don't drink? I know a lot of body building - sport type guys that don't touch the poison. ?

Hi LC,

it would be hard to find teetotallers in England. The only thing that is important is being around people that are not threatened by your sobriety.

But it can be hard as most activities out side of work involved alcohol.

Going out - drinking
Going to play tennis -drinks afterwards
Finished work - after work drinks
Sunday Barbeque - drinks
Friday night dinner - drinks
Sporting events - drinks
Holidays - drinks
Picnic in a park - drinks
Stuck at the airport - drinks
Celebrating success - drinks
Going through a rough patch - drinks
Getting engaged drinks
Getting divorced drinks
.............................and on and on and on. In fact it is hard to think of an activity that doesn't involve alcohol.

You cant avoid it. But you can choose the people that you want to spend your free time with.

AK

[momofthree]

Newbies Nest

lifechange;1681871 wrote:
Momof3, BBQ sounds fun! and af punch the perfect drink. You are so fortunate that your husband doesn't drink--it was probably a PIA when you were drinking! But now that you've quit you'll have a great source of support. If you're really craving, is he someone you can let it all out to? Does he understand what you're trying to do? I'm just wondering.. sorry if I'm being too nosy. You are so right about how much easier it is when not cranky and moody from the night before-- and 2 under 2 is a challenge to say the least! .

I just came back to the house, and honestly I did think about stopping and getting something as it's attached to the grocery store and I could skip from one place to the other but I took off out of there as fast as I could. Avoided calls from my trigger (mother) and refused to let her place guilt on me and splurged on some very delicious groceries and bought the kids some toys. It's so nice outside that I associate this kind of weather with BBQ'ing and having some drinks, time to try to switch that train of thought but I can see it's going to take a lot of work considering I'm only on Day 2 and already thinking about it.

LC, honestly it was a PITA that he doesn't drink, but now I find it does make it easier since it's not in my face. He is very supportive and I can talk to him about it, when I'm stressed and thinking about buying some wine. He never makes me feel bad, he doesn't guilt or anything like that. I'm very fortunate to have him in my life, I have great respect for him how he treats me and our girls. He's part of the reason why I want to stop, him, my girls and myself. It was nice not to wake up with guilt and self loathing this morning.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Hi Allan! Super to see you. I really liked the thread you recently started about not testing ourselves. Very well thought out and written. I didn't realise you were so young-(or I forgot!) How did you do it? Finding friends that don't drink? Or do they all drink but just respect you? Man, I thought Germans were lushes--England, or London sounds really difficult. It actually really pisses me off that everything in life should revolve around alcohol. Sad state of affairs. How's it going with the sugar thing??

Momof 3, :goodjob:!! on getting past that bottle buying urge/thought and on substituting with nice, positive things. I think it's sometimes very difficult the first days. Some people make themselves so sick that they can't bear to drink for a very long time, others really struggle the first few days or week before the thoughts start to lessen a bit. Byrdie had a turnaround on Day 13. I think everyone is different-- but one thing is for sure (I'm believing all those long timers!) no one who's been sober a while wishes they'd waited longer to quit. Every one of them is so much happier with themselves, with their lives without the hell of alcohol. I'm sending lots of strength your way these first days!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Allan! Always good to see you! Great points all. As they say, birds of a feather flock together....when I wanted to drink I could always find drinking friends (excuses). There are activities out there that dont involve drinking and it takes some effort and time to ferret them out. My social circle has changed for sure...and thats ok, my life is considerably fuller and healthier now. B

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

lifechange;1681886 wrote: Hi Allan! Super to see you. I really liked the thread you recently started about not testing ourselves. Very well thought out and written. I didn't realise you were so young-(or I forgot!) How did you do it? Finding friends that don't drink? Or do they all drink but just respect you? Man, I thought Germans were lushes--England, or London sounds really difficult. It actually really pisses me off that everything in life should revolve around alcohol. Sad state of affairs. How's it going with the sugar thing??

Hi LC,

its great to talk to you again like we used to.
Most people I know drink because its a way to pass time. They don't know what else to do on a Friday night...

I have no teetotal friends. Not because I am biased but because they are very rare creatures. Remember the story I posted about 6 months ago about a girl that freaked out when she found out I didn't drink. Well I am usually greated with similar hostility but after a few times of going out if we are still part of the same group the issue usually goes away. People that cant tolerate teetotallers I usually never see again. Not by choice.

My close friends now completely accept it and usually think its a good thing. Because I keep them safe and grounded when they can no longer make good choices at the end f a night. Also I am the kind of person that doesn't need alcohol to have a good time and can socialise just fine without it, actually much much better

LC, I am not doing to well with sugar. its my last addiction and I really struggle to stay of of it. I am all or nothing kind of person so reducing the intake will not work. I would have to literally cut out all of it for good. Otherwise on my cheat days I would eat sugary foods non stop. The only way I have maintained my weight without gaining any extra is by doing a lot of excercises.

How about you. I saw your posts and they also inspired me to write that thread. Addiction is a strange thing. I think if I had to quit smoking and alcohol again I would not be able to do it...I am still amazed at my self for keeping sober for so long. If only I could do it with my other bad habits

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1681940 wrote: Hey Allan! Always good to see you! Great points all. As they say, birds of a feather flock together....when I wanted to drink I could always find drinking friends (excuses). There are activities out there that dont involve drinking and it takes some effort and time to ferret them out. My social circle has changed for sure...and thats ok, my life is considerably fuller and healthier now. B

Hi B,

yep with alcohol I didn't even need friends. I sometimes would go to a bar get drunk and then find some people to hang out with. It was much easier to meet new people drunk or at least I thought that way.

It is interesting that the most interesting people turn out to be either light drinkers or complete teetotallers, contrary to my old beliefs...

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Londoner;1681861 wrote: Thanks - a second realisation for today.

The only time I'm really asked out by friends now is.....for drinks. Is it because they know I'll get pissed up with them? Probably. They need someone to drink with....

Either way, I either need to get a new positive social support circle, or make it clear to my friends what my intentions are with booze (which they'll laugh at, as I've said it before, again and again).

Londoner,

drinking is the main pass time in the UK. For that reason you will get a lot of invitations to go out drinking. When your friends realise that you don't do it anymore many will stop calling you... That's a fact of life.

However, it wont bother the other 50% of people who will still invite you to barbeques, parties just for your company. Nothing to worry about here, everything that will happen will happen for the good. Be confident in yourself and that confidence will grow every day you are sober. With time you will realise or discover that there is so much more to you than just a drinking companion. When this happens people will be drawn to you even more and will congratulate you on your lifestyle choices rather than condemn them

AK

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Yes, I agree, Allan. I was afraid I would be bored or boring if I didnt drink...I find just the opposite to be true. Drunk people are the bore! Who knew?

Lesson 1: AL makes you think you and other drunk people are interesting. :H
Lesson 2: AL makes you think you can sing and dance. (You cant really sing and dance)
Lesson 3: Al makes you extremely generous with everything....money, advice...saying I Love you, man!

No wonder on that beer commercial they call that guy 'The most interesting man in the world'....AL is involved!! :H:H

Its all a bloomin lie! B

[available]

Newbies Nest

Great post Pepper and i hope it wont fall on deaf ears. I have also posted, i know NS has posted and it has fallen on deaf ears. Support can only be given if it is truly accepted and an effort is put in to give al the flick. I find that there are so many on MWO that listen and truly plan and get al out of their lives and there are others that wont accept the help and are not ready and it ends up like talking to a brick wall. I know i was a great procrastinator and gave every excuse under the sun as why not to stop but at the end of the day it was my decision and i grabbed the support of MWO and ran with it, it definitely beat the internal fighting within and i so didnt want to let anyone down that put the time and effort in to support me.

London you are the one laughing as you realise what al does even in small amounts to ourselves. You are the strong one, you are the one in total control. At the end of the day it doesnt matter what your friends think of you not drinking, unless you having a drink ends world poverty and that is so not going to happen.

Mom i remember when i first stopped drinking i would just stare at the bottles of wine, just wishing i could have a drink, wanting a drink and practically running down another aisle to get away from those bottles. The billboards that seemed to be 100 foot tall looking at me, enticing me. the people on tv sipping their wines, looking happy and relaxed, the tv adds, the radio adds, the magazine adds. God it seemed the whole world was out to get me to drink and my al brain was telling me to also. In the early days it is hard but as the weeks go by the memories fade, the urges and cravings fade and we feel better. I always thought of my al voice as a toddler, begging me, crying at me, screaming at me to just have that one drink. I never gave into my children when they had a tantrum so i was certainly not giving into my al voice.

Pie, excellent work on getting through the days, one day at a time is all us alkies can do. Keep on here and post daily. Have you thought of drugging your octogenarians Lol. They are just getting back at you for all the times you kept them awake.

Allan we Aussies dont really need an occasion to have a drink. Its sad that is a way of life, i still remember having a small glass of wine when i was 6 or 7 to celebrate something or other and damn i felt so grown up. Then the grown up drinking got out of control and there was nothing to be proud of.

Byrd my children were saying yesterday how it sucks that i dont get blind drunk anymore as they cant get money out of me. They got the look and i know they were joking as my son said the other night he doesnt miss me telling him the "same ole story" five or six times a night until i passed out and of course i would not remember and proceed to tell it again the next night. Its the small things in life that make my children happy! I have never ever thought i could dance drunk as i sure as hell cant dance sober but please dont disallusion me that i was ever not interesting when drunk!

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

available;1681951 wrote:
Allan we Aussies dont really need an occasion to have a drink. Its sad that is a way of life, i still remember having a small glass of wine when i was 6 or 7 to celebrate something or other and damn i felt so grown up. Then the grown up drinking got out of control and there was nothing to be proud of.

Many adults give children alcohol on special occasions, its innocent enough until you quit alcohol. Incredible how this changes the way you look at thinks.

BTW I am still amazed that you quit on the 1st of December. I still remember you announcing it and I though to myself, "what a bad time to quit alcohol".

Well done for sticking to it!