Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Hi Momof3! What helps me a ton with cravings is to have a glass of SOMETHING (sparkling water, flavored water, juice, etc.) in my hand at ALL times, and sip, sip, sip! I also allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted for the first couple weeks. The action of putting something in your mouth is distracting and filling. Is there anything else you can concentrate on? Make a list of all the things you can organize in your home? Make a list of all the ways you can be a better mom and wife tonight, AL-free? Stay strong... you will be so glad to add your name as Day5 AL free on roll call tomorrow!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Hi Momof3, this post has helped me soooo many times-- could you read it through and see how you feel? It was originally posted by johnny and is in the toolbox... Stay strong tonight-- I know sometimes it seems unbearable--but you will live through an urge and you will be so happy with yourself afterwards..

Originally Posted by johnnyh View Post
1. Cultivate continued acceptance of the fact that your choice is between unhappy, drunken drinking and doing without just one small drink.

2. Cultivate enthusiastic gratitude that you have had the good fortune of finding out what was wrong with you before it was too late.

3. EXPECT as being natural and inevitable, that for a period of time (and it may be a long one), you will recuringly experience.
(a) The conscious, nagging craving for a drink.
(b) The sudden, all but compelling impluse just to take a drink.
(c) The craving, not for a drinks as such, but for the soothing glow and warmth a drink or two once gave you.

4. Remember that the times you don't want a drink are the times in which to build up the strength not to take one when you do want it.

5. Develop and rehearse a daily plan of thinking and acting by which you will live the day without taking a drink, regardless of what may upset you or how hard the old urge for a drink may hit you.

6. Don't for a split second allow yourself to think: 'Isn't it a pity or a mean injustice that I can't take a drink like so-called normal people'.

7. Don't allow yourself to either think about or talk about any real or imgagined pleasure you once did get from drinking

8. Don't permit yourself to think a drink or two would make some bad situation better, or at least easier to live with. Substitute the thought : 'One drink will make it worse - One drink will mean a drunk.'

9. Minimise your situation. Others have greater problems, how joyful such people would be if their problem could be solved by just not taking one little drink today. Think gratefully how lucky you are to have so simple and small a problem.

10. Cultivate and woo enjoyment of sobriety.
a) how good it is to be free of shame and guilt
b) how good it is to be free of the consequences of a drunk just ended or of a coming drunk you've been never able to prevent before.
c) how good it is to be free of what people have been thinking and whispering about you, and of their mingled pity and contempt
d) How good it is to be free of fear.

11. Catalogue and RE-Catalogue the positive enjoyments of sobriety, such as:
a) The simple ability to sleep and eat properly; and wake up glad you're alive; glad you were sober yesterday; and glad you have the privilige of staying sober today
b) the ability to face whatever life may dish out, with peace of mind, self-respect, and full possession of all your faculties.

12. Cultivate a helpful association of ideas:
a) Associate a drink as being the single cause of all the misery, shame and fear you have ever known.
b) Associate a drink as bein the only thing that can destroy you newfound happiness, and take from you your self-respect and peace of mind.

13. Cultivate Grattitude:
a) Grattitude that so much can be yours for so small a price;
b) Grattitude that you can trade just one drink for all the happiness sobriety gives you.
c) Grattitude that MWO (AA) exists, and you found out about it in time.
d) Grattitude that you are an alcoholic, you are not a bad or wicked person, but you have been in the grip of a complusion.
e) Grattitude that since others have done it, you can in time bring it to pass that you will not want or miss the drink that you're doing without.

14. Seek out ways to help other alcoholics - and remember the first way to help others is to stay sober yourself.

15. And don't forget, when the heart is heavy and resistance is low, and the mind is troubled and confused, there is much comfort in a true and understanding friend standing by. You have that friend in MWO (AA).

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#223 (permalink) Report Post
Old 07-25-2012, 03:20 AM

[momofthree]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone, just when I was about to post again I couldn't get back on the website.
I have managed to make the 5 o'clock time, for some reason my brain tells me it's to late now to go to the store so I didn't go.
No Sugar, when you posted about me driving under the influence all I felt was this shame wash over my whole body. I never forgot that moment and haven't done it since, but still the regret rings through my body as fresh as it did. I felt like closing the computer down and crying. I still feel a little sick to my stomach right now.
LC, thank you so much for copying that for me. I read every word and took it all to heart, and my memory. Maybe I'm just feeling overwhelmed at the moment.
Kensho, I'm going to cook a nice dinner and when my husband gets home we can all have dinner together and when the kids are in bed snuggle up and watch a movie. I do have a large deluxe cake I splurged on at the Bakery, I'm going to get into that as well. I just wish it was chocolate now instead of filled with strawberries.

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Mom3 - Glad you posted honestly about the urges/cravings you're experiencing. That's a good step toward riding it out successfully. The lure of alcohol, whatever it promises you, is a lie and a mirage.

Most people find that if they can distract themselves, these temptations pass relatively quickly, and they are replaced by relief over not succumbing.

Stay strong and keep posting. If we can give you any specific support or advice that would be most helpful, please let us know. We're here for you. :l

[momofthree]

Newbies Nest

wagmore;1682502 wrote: Mom3 - Glad you posted honestly about the urges/cravings you're experiencing. That's a good step toward riding it out successfully. The lure of alcohol, whatever it promises you, is a lie and a mirage.

Most people find that if they can distract themselves, these temptations pass relatively quickly, and they are replaced by relief over not succumbing.

Stay strong and keep posting. If we can give you any specific support or advice that would be most helpful, please let us know. We're here for you. :l

If I can't post it here I don't know where else I can vent it out. I'm glad this place is here. It is a lure, a lie. I know I don't need it I've just been reaching for it for so long, I need to learn to reach for something else instead. One good thing, the kids keep me busy and distracted so that helps quite a bit. I'm going to log out for the night and just reflect on today, feeling a little emotionally exhausted right now.
:l to you all.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Momof3,

I'm sorry that I made you feel bad. I just remembered your post because you really touched me with how much you loved your family and wanted to stop drinking. I remember hoping so much that you would succeed.

Sometimes I almost wish that I had a single memory like that that would make it almost impossible to glamorize drinking. Even if it is painful, maybe it is the tool that will help you succeed.

Again, I'm sorry that I upset you. NS

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Momof3... let's stick together. I have two children, and I often think how much I don't want them to associate my bedtime stories with booze breath! It's a great motivator! Take care tonight!

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters....

I cant fall asleep so I am watching Cosmos with Neil DeGrass Tyson. It is absolutely brilliant just as good as the original with Carl Sagan.

Sorry to go off topic but the series really makes me feel wonderful..

AK

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Checking in a bit early in case the power goes out (happens frequently around here with all the T storms).

Allan, my 5 1/2 yr old grandson actually sits & watches Cosmos! I have it on my iPad for him

Mom3, just keep yourself distracted & you'll do just fine!
I remember those early days, wondering how to get thru the next hour or two. But then it suddenly gets easier & before you know it you are hardly ever thinking about AL

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
I put my hens to bed extra early - they weren't happy but there are severe storm watches in effect :H

Lav

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1682538 wrote:

Allan, my 5 1/2 yr old grandson actually sits & watches Cosmos! I have it on my iPad for him

He must be really smart and not just for a 5 year old But I do think that any age group would enjoy it!!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

They're making kids much smarter these days Allan :H

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Hi all. Just stoping by. Today is day 266 for me, life is going on and I am surviving without AL. Actually I am doing pretty good. Love being focused and engaged. Remember those horrible mornings where I would start feeling bad around 4-6 am in the morning and toss and turn till it was time to wake up. Hated myself and looked like hell. I actually now enjoy going to bed and fall asleep, where before I was passing out dressed with make up on. Love being fit and 50 lb later, thanks to hot yoga I had to plug it in. I love a lot more other things about bring sober. Love life. Thanks to all supporters - Byrdlady, Lavande, NS, Little Eagle, Pavati, Available,Samstone - sorry if I missed somebody

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Good MAE, Nesters!!

Momof3, your evening of a delicious dinner, cuddling up for a film and a big fat cake sound wonderful. I had to laugh when you said you were wishing it was chocolate instead of strawberry! I also have a terrible incident with my kids that keeps me on the up and up. Someone said to me recently, I think it was Jane, that during the first 3 months, we have to fight this addiction as if we were Rambo--We have to do everything and anything in our power (and we have A LOT of power as long as we don't pick up that first drink!) NOT to drink. You did EXACTLY the right thing, coming here last night and voicing your concerns--I think that's often enough to deter us. Good job, Mom!

Myluck, you are absolutely rockin' with 266 days! I always look forward to your visits--to hearing about the improvements in life one experiences in sobriety!!

Hi Kensho! So happy you are here. Last night I was sitting in between my kids on the sofa (2 girls, 9 and 12) and the 12 year old asked, "Mama, were you eating chocolate?"-- I had had a piece (dark, NS!) about an hour previously, and I thought, f***!, children are so sensitive to scent and the AL on my breath that I subjected them to each and every evening was surely like a dragon's breath. And then passing out next to them-- Never again! I'm right there with you...

SF, I just wanted to say that I think it's GREAT that you've jumped right back in the Nest--I envy you and wish I would have had the sense to do that 6 months ago. But I didn't-- Posting like Ava, Lunatic Linda, twice or 3 times or more a day, sometimes only to myself, is what is helping to keep me on the straight and narrow. I will NOT go back to that hell!

Hi to all the lovely people checking in here today!! Hope you all have a good one..

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone!

Just checking in real quick, I have an early dental appointment. I am so lucky :H

Great job on the AF time Myluck!
LC, I prefer chocolate breath any day Keep checking in & have a great day!

Wishing everyone a great AF day!

Lav

[momofthree]

Newbies Nest

Morning everyone! Last night I pretty much did what I said I was going to do, it was nice. I love that because we moved closer to my husbands work that he is home so much earlier. I had a rough day with the baby as well, she is so close to cutting her first tooth and she has bad days.
NS, no worries. It was the truth, and sometimes we don't always like to hear it but it does need to be reminded to bring us back. My family is my whole world, every single person in this house no matter how or small is more important to me then my own breath and I want to be around for a long time to enjoy them, and remember it. Thank you everyone so much for all your support, I really needed it then. I just hope I can return the favor. Day 5!