Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Looks like a mostly cloudy day in my neighborhood but that's OK. At least the clouds should block some of the heat

DD, CONGRATS to your on 80 AF days!
Glad the heat has left your area as well.

Sarah, I really hope you get what you want from your Mom. But if you don't, what's going to happen? Are you going to make your sobriety dependent on your Mother's ability to show love & support?
We all want the important people in our lives to show love & support but sometimes we just have to accept that they don't or cannot for their own reasons. I have experienced this with my husband, my father & others. I found that we all have the strength to do the right thing for ourselves independently. Why continue to sit & wait for something that may or may not be coming.

Trust yourself & don't worry about what's coming or not coming from another person

Wishing everyone a great AF Saturday!

Lav

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

DD, you are the woman of the day! 80 days! For any of us, this is great, but what strength, determination and guts you have shown you gutsy multi-tasker! I am more than happy for you!
Hope you are proud of yourself!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!
Thank you all for the words of comfort. Now I am surrounded by my friends (you!) and finding peace with that.

DD, hope you are feeling better! 80 days is incredible! It makes a world of difference, no?
:earth:
So happy for your success and here's to feeling better and stronger every day!

Hugs to all, off to tackle my email, which I neglected all week.....hope everyone has an easy day...thank you Ava for prize patrol duties and Eloise for pulling it prior to that!!! xo, B

[Ginger999]

Newbies Nest

DD, Eighty DAYS!! Good for you. Especially with all the health issues you've been faced with. Enjoy the rain and cooler weather today.

Sarah, I'm sorry your relationship with your Mom is so strained. I hope you can find some peace with her at some point. In the meantime, staying AF is the most important thing for you to do. Show your Mom the new AF Sarah. That alone may get her attention.

Hope everyone has a great AF weekend.

[momofthree]

Newbies Nest

Sarah, I could have written that to my mother, I know how you feel. Really, I do.
I had to make the decision that I come before her and so does my family. I can't make her happy, and no matter what I do there is always something wrong in it and I'm tired of drinking because of it. She is my trigger, she effects me more then anyone. Because she is my mother. I'm in the process of letting that go and putting my focus on where it matters, and its on everyone in this house. She can either come around to the idea that it's not all about her, or she doesn't. Either way my choice has been made and it was a long hard booze driven road to get to this point.

On a good note, I am 9 days now. Feels good. This weekend we're taking the girls to the water park and having a BBQ. As you can tell, I love to BBQ. I just made a nice chocolate cake which I'm going to drench in chocolate peanut butter sauce shortly for all of us later. That strawberry cake was not pulling it's weight at all.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Uf. That about sums it up.

Nice round number DD!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Trouble logging in last night, but here I am. I had a great day with many of my favorite things - one of which included a ferry ride. That was a HUGE trigger for me, as I always had a beer on that ride in the past. To be honest, I had a tug that was unexpected as it has been a while. But I thought about it, and honestly I don't think I really crave the feeling of alcohol any more. It was very short lived and I went back to enjoying my evening. Phew.

DD- 80 days is stupendous. Where I live it has been cold, foggy and windy - makes me crazy to spend the summer like this, but it is the same every year. Part of acceptance is accepting those things I can't change. Congratulations on your big number.

Mo3 - Nine days! Hope your BBQ is fun. I like to BBQ and entertain, although at the beginning I resented stocking the bar for other people. I always made sure I had special non-alcoholic drinks for me. BBQs are easy places to not drink for me because no one really knows what's in your red solo cup.

Kensho - My anxiety is always helped by exercise. I also downloaded an app called Calm that includes quick meditations which works as well.

Byrdie - So sorry for your friend. Hard to imagine going through that while drinking. It sounds like you have a close group of family and friends to support each other - that must be nice.

Off to start my day. It feels so great to wake up without a hangover and to enjoy my coffee with no feelings of regret. Hang tight, nest!

Pav

[Ginger999]

Newbies Nest

Mo3, Awesome on 9 days! Enjoy your AF day of fun.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Off to Korea ... See u on the other side

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Pav - Good job staying strong through the tug/trigger of the ferry ride. This is a great reminder that we can never become complacent and assume we're in the clear. Glad you had such an enjoyable day/evening.

DD - So happy about your 80 days!!! You've definitely had some challenging time during those days, with some more to come, but you sound strong and resilient. I am inspired and so proud to be one day behind you in AF time, following your excellent example.

Kensho - The anxiety WILL improve. Like Pav said, exercise can help a lot. I normally like high intensity exercise, but when I was feeling anxiety at the beginning, I found it more helpful to do things like yoga, long walks, etc.

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Checking in - Saturday night. Underlying anger for some reason. Maybe it's because my mind wants to go out and break my streak. Mayeb it's because I'm tired.

Will get an early night and try to do something productive tomorrow.

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Checking in - Saturday night. Underlying anger for some reason. Maybe it's because my mind wants to go out and break my streak. Mayeb it's because I'm tired.

Will get an early night and try to do something productive tomorrow.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Mom and family coming over tonight. They will expect me to drink. Just going to say "no thanks, don't feel like it," and drop it. If they prod I will tell them I'm tired of it. Move on. Change subject. New topic.

On exercise bike now getting my sweat on... Feels fab-u-lous!

Ciao... Hope everyone has faith in the tough spots. They never last.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hang in there everyone! The only way out is through!!! All you gotta do is get thru this day! Byrdie

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Hi folks..I've mentioned before that my DH never said anything to me when I stopped drinking, and today I'm at Day 117 and we've never communicated about it, before today. This morning he said something about how I was looking and acting like "myself" again. I told him that actually I'd been very depressed for a long time, but had been feeling good again finally over the last few months. He said he could tell I was depressed due to all the empty vodka and gin bottles, but said "I didn't know what to do about it." And that was it. I couldn't say anything else, and he went to his office to do some work. All that time, I thought I was hiding my problem from him. I thought he might suspect, but I have been pretty certain that he never knew how bad I was. Until today.

Since he opened the door, I sent him an email this afternoon and told him everything (super long). I told him how bad I was, all my secrets, everything. I told him about quitting, this site, that I never want to go back, etc. That I'm sorry, ashamed.

What I wasn't expecting was a confession back from him (via email) that he had seriously considered leaving me last year --- how angry he had been at me so many times and helpless he had felt. He had checked into scheduling an intervention a few times. He was super worried that our teenaged girls would think my behavior was normal. That was all via email. Now we're sitting in two different rooms and its weird...wow. Gonna have to talk about this face-to-face eventually tonight. I had no idea he ever thought of leaving me. Although I would have, had the situation been reversed.

Not looking for any advice, but just wanted to write this out. Somehow that makes it all more real, and one more reason to never go back, ever to the miserable existence I was living before. So there's some inspiration, maybe, to any of you who are on the fence about quitting and think you are hiding your problem from the people you love.