Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Rahul, 150 days is so awesome!!
:flyingunders:

Wear these in good health! Congratulations on a job well done!!!! keep up the great work!!!!
Byrdie

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Congrats Rahul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Pepper - this was a masterpiece:

peppersnow;1684469 wrote: If there were any lingering debris-like thoughts in my brain of ?maybe I can drink normally again someday? or ?maybe I wasn?t as bad as I think?, those have been blown out with hurricane-like force, permanently. And I?m grateful. If anyone out there is considering quitting, or early in your quit and fearful of losing AL, there?s so much more you could lose and you probably don?t even know how close you are to losing it. I sure as hell didn?t. Do yourself a favor and quit now.

I am happy for you that you had that conversation.

I keep peeling back the layers of my addiction and find myself saying well SHIT HOWDY I WAS that bad. Alcohol was very negatively affecting my life, and not only did I not realize it, I thought I was hiding it so carefully. Hah.

The only group I know for people married to alcoholics is al anon. I know many, many people who have been helped by going there, but I'm not sure where your husband is in all of this. I talk to mine a lot (he's not the most forthcoming with his emotions - go figure) about what he's feeling about my not drinking so that he has at least someone to talk to.

Daisy - So glad to hear you feeling so great. I love laughing like that.

Rahul - 150 is amazing - what a great accomplishment. The Seoul businessmen who get drunk and then hang around the subway station? I think they might be wishing they weren't drinking, too.

Sarah - people come to this site for support in quitting drinking. If you come here and post, you will get people trying to help you quit drinking in whatever way they can or want. You have to decide for yourself if that is the type of support you want. If you want support to moderate, there are threads specifically for that as well. No one's trying to be rude, but you do not seem to be wanting to quit, so it is confusing what you are looking for.

There were many "I'm so happy sober" posts today - feels good to be getting so many wins here. I also feel very happily sober today - did so many things that were SO much better with no hangover and no "when will I get my drink?" running through my head.

Hope you all have great weeks.

Pav

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Pav- I want to quit! Fear is just in the way.

I just finished Allen Carr's Book. The last chapter was the zinger! He says your 'final' drink before your quit should be the most foul tasting AL to you on the planet. Well, I never enjoyed hard AL, so I'm thinking Tequila is probably the worst tasting stuff ever 'plain'. He says to pour yourself a generous amt of whatever is nastiest to you and let that be your 'final drink'...so basically it's a brain thing so your last thoughts of AL is a 'nasty' one. Tomr I may have hubby get me small Tequila and that be my 'attempt' at my final drink.

I really like his book. It took getting to the end to get to the nitty gritty, but I think I will at least try his way with his other methods to see how it goes.

Wish me luck,

love
Sarah

P.S. I will have to plug my nose to drink Tequila and prolly throwup, but no anx meds tomr at all if I do this!!!!

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Sarah - It's a great book, if you apply what he advises.

It's getting tough atm. I've literally knocked all 'instant gratification' on the head. AL, partying (and all that goes with it), junk food, caffeine etc.

And it's making me realise how much I have been using them to self medicate to cover up emotions that I don't want surfacing.

I feel discontent. Anger. Just these underlying negative emotions.

But, I know I have to confront them. I cannot keep them suppressed any longer. Doing that will only keep me as a shell of a person who progresses nowhere.

I guess previous quits have been like a honeymoon period. Kind of lying to myself that I would quit or change.

Now, this quit feels real. Like I am ready for what I have to face. It's not a good feeling atm. But it has to be done to change. To reach my potential.

I have to face the anxiety. The negativity. The unhappiness. It's been too long that I've kept it all buried.

We have our own needs that we must attend to.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Sarah instead of waiting to drink something horrible why dont you just stop. I am pretty sure the majority of mwoers did not wait to drinks something horrible to stop. Regarding your last post tomorrow will never come Sarah.

Rahul a big congratulations on your 150 days. I so totally knew you could get rid of al out of your life when you first started on here and look at you now friend. Big hugs for you.

DD yes that is my dog. Maddison Elizabeth Charlotte Beatrice who is 11 and has epilepsy, osteoarthritis, heart murmur but she is the light of our families life. I am going away this weekend to see my mum and Maddy is going to visit my daughter for the weekend. Not that i dont trust my boys but i dont trust my boys..... Good on you for looking for counselling outside of the hospital, i do hope you find a good one as you are sounding good but great would be better for you.

London losing your best friend, being a,l is not nice, its a grieving process. He was our companion for years and years. He wasnt a nice companion but he was with us constantly. Just take one day at a time, do not overburden yourself and be patient. Rome was not built in one day.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Londoner, I get what you are saying.....my previous 2 good quits were easier.....this one has been a toughie.....I feel it is my most precious one as I worked so hard for it.
Make being AF the priority.....I did not worry about the other stuff too early on. Then, after a few weeks I started getting into exercise and cutting back a bit on the junk. I am still smoking, but am not going to deal with that just yet....have put pressure on myself in the past to do it all at once and blew it.
I find I am reading a lot of books now which helps me relax....

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Monday morning Nesters,

Just a quick stop to wish everyone a great AF day & a great week
Hang in there, you won't be sorry!!!

Lav

[Wearywino]

Newbies Nest

My Plan

Hello everyone and happy Monday.

Rahul - congratulations on your 150 days - awesome!

Daisy - I was impressed with your attitude over your family and friends thinking you are a party pooper for not drinking - good for you! (that's one that scares me too!)

Sarah42 - I'm interested in reading your posts as you are so like me - wanting to give up drinking but scared to take the final plunge.

I've been reading and reading through MWO in the last week. I've also read numerous 'sober' blogs and the one thing that screams out at me is the importance of having a PLAN. I've tried and tried to give up AL in the last five years. Have achieved a couple of days here and there, 10 days seems to be my day to fail. I actually managed a couple of months last year, but have returned to the stage where I down at least a bottle of wine a night (and often two). So I have spent the last couple of days preparing my plan - it is intense and will keep me VERY busy - but will hopefully give me the tools to finally be SOBER!!

I plan to visit MWO every day and post every day.

I have created a blog, which I hope to post on regularly to keep an account of my sober journey

I have signed up to 247's four week email sober plan (they send motivational emails everyday and also give you podcasts to download and listen too)

I have set up a reminder on my iphone to email me everyday at 5pm with the following message: Remember you are sober today to improve your health, improve your looks (remember how awful your skin looks) and to save my marriage.

I have actually taken a 'selfie' photo of myself today (with horrible red blotches and and puffy eyes) and I will look at it every time I get an urge to drink.

I have cleared all of the alcohol that tempts me from the cupboard - and I am about to take a huge sack of empty bottles to the recycling bank.

So - today is DAY 1 - wish me luck! :thanks:

[Pie]

Newbies Nest

Best of luck to you on Day One and beyond Weary! That was brave of you to take a selfie; I couldn't bring myself to do it!

Pie

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

That sounds like a great plan, Weary. Sending strength your way,
Congratulations Rahul. You are another one who has made an awesome transformation!

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Rahul - Congratulations on 150 days!!! When I saw that today, I realized I have shorted myself several days because I knew I was less than 30 days behind you, so there's no way this could be day 119 for me. I went back to my calendar and did the math (not my strong suit) and realize today is 121 for me! I hope you are able to repair your relationship with your wife.

And thx Pav, I'll check out Al-Anon for my DH. I have a feeling he won't want to go, though. I need him to be able to express somewhere (if not to me) how angry he is and that he has a right to be. I might see if I can get him into private counseling, or maybe couples counseling. I know AL is a disease, but stopping was a choice and I could have made that choice years ago and didn't, and he should be angry at me and I have a lot to make up for.

Welcome wino -- trust me, don't waste any time thinking about "when". You do need a plan, but it's a total waste of energy if you don't implement it. No time like the present! Happy Monday, everyone, and have a great AF week!

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Here we go Wearywino! You are on the road now......and we are right behind you! Shout out at any time.....

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nest!
Weary, it sounds like you HAVE a PLAN! And a good one! Keep yourself occupied and eat when you get the 'F-its'!! Eating is the silver bullet to fighting off cravings! Not sure how it is for you, but for me, it was as if someone else were taking control of my body when I was doing all these things to set myself up for success. I saw myself doing them, but it didn't seem like me. Hard to explain. Like watching someone else do it.... something else was taking over (besides AL).

I don't remember my last drink....

Hope everyone has an easy day! Star, it's so good to see you! Have a happy day!! Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Good morning! My emotions are all over the map... but getting a little easier.

Weary, there is an app called "Drinking Mirror". You download your photo in and tell it how much you drink. Then it ages you accordingly - 10 yrs., 20 yrs., 30 yrs. later. It's scary and motivating!

Thanks to everyone here!