Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Cross post Pav

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Feeling calm tonight. Maybe because of the AL last night, maybe because there's nothing to overthink anymore. Going to re-read my old "plan" from first quit to get tips. Ate chocolate, and ice cream, and lifesavers tonight. Gonna get the reward / pleasure where I can. Focused on work today and was really productive. Nothing else to really think about RE: AL. I'm prepared for a hard 2-4 weeks. Looking forward to earning "the other side." So nice to be able to sit an a twig with birds of the same feather (is that how that goes?.) - thanks all.

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

KENSHO;1685007 wrote: Feeling calm tonight. Maybe because of the AL last night, maybe because there's nothing to overthink anymore. Going to re-read my old "plan" from first quit to get tips. Ate chocolate, and ice cream, and lifesavers tonight. Gonna get the reward / pleasure where I can. Focused on work today and was really productive. Nothing else to really think about RE: AL. I'm prepared for a hard 2-4 weeks. Looking forward to earning "the other side." So nice to be able to sit an a twig with birds of the same feather (is that how that goes?.) - thanks all.

Not overthinking will probably bring you a lot of relief. I know for me, making AL non-negotiable was the key turning point. Was everything easy after that? No. But I didn't have to waste mental and emotional energy on AL anymore.

I can really relate to your concerns about your business, as I'm self-employed and in a similar situation feeling pressure to not let everything I've built slip away. I'd say the first 10-14 days were a rough adjustment, complete with loads of things slipping my mind and wondering whether I could keep it all together. After about two weeks, things turned a corner and started to get better and better. After about a month, I was performing at a much better level than I'd ever done while drinking, and this has continued.

Hang in there. Your brain is rewiring some of its circuits, but it will happen. Good healthy food, fresh air, exercise, and sleep will all help support your brain as it heals.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Londoner;1684752 wrote: Sarah - It's a great book, if you apply what he advises.

It's getting tough atm. I've literally knocked all 'instant gratification' on the head. AL, partying (and all that goes with it), junk food, caffeine etc.

And it's making me realise how much I have been using them to self medicate to cover up emotions that I don't want surfacing.

I feel discontent. Anger. Just these underlying negative emotions.

But, I know I have to confront them. I cannot keep them suppressed any longer. Doing that will only keep me as a shell of a person who progresses nowhere.

I guess previous quits have been like a honeymoon period. Kind of lying to myself that I would quit or change.

Now, this quit feels real. Like I am ready for what I have to face. It's not a good feeling atm. But it has to be done to change. To reach my potential.

I have to face the anxiety. The negativity. The unhappiness. It's been too long that I've kept it all buried.

We have our own needs that we must attend to.

Londoner- I think with most alkies (like us)- we will find a way to self medicate. ...whether it be AL, sweets, caffiene, etc.

I said this before, and I will say it again.....until we attempt to fix 'what we are drinking at' OR/AND "accept what we are drinking (meaning psychological healing)...then it will be more difficult for us.

Shear willpower IMO is just not enough. It works for some, but not for others. This is just my opinion, and since I am not free of AL yet...I am probably the last person to listen too! However, that much I do know.

Love,

Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

available;1684756 wrote: Sarah instead of waiting to drink something horrible why dont you just stop. I am pretty sure the majority of mwoers did not wait to drinks something horrible to stop. Regarding your last post tomorrow will never come Sarah.

B/C it's a book that has been around for many years and because I trust the author. I cannot worry about how other MWO'ers did their quit- I HAVE TO DO MINE. My way.

If you want to put staples on people for not doing it the way you want, you are certainly entitled to, and I appreciate your input. However, I believe, that I have it within me (and others do as well) to quit this madness in WHATEVER way works for them. And, if it takes me 50 ways to do it....I will try everyone of them...in my own time.

Just MO- and thank you Ava.

Sarah

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

One of the points of Allan carrs book is to change your mindset regarding alcohol. White knuckling is not good but being stubborn about quitting is. Subtle difference but big consequences.

Chicken and egg comes to mind when it comes to if we drink because, or because we drink.

One huge problem goes away when you quit though, that much I know.

[available]

Newbies Nest

I certainly dont put staples on anyone Sarah but the suspense is killing all of us. The problem is you havent tried anyway yet that i have seen let alone 50 ways.

Good point Roxy.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Wearywino;1684771 wrote:
Sarah42 - I'm interested in reading your posts as you are so like me - wanting to give up drinking but scared to take the final plunge.

I've been reading and reading through MWO in the last week. I've also read numerous 'sober' blogs and the one thing that screams out at me is the importance of having a PLAN. I've tried and tried to give up AL in the last five years. Have achieved a couple of days here and there, 10 days seems to be my day to fail. I actually managed a couple of months last year, but have returned to the stage where I down at least a bottle of wine a night (and often two). So I have spent the last couple of days preparing my plan - it is intense and will keep me VERY busy - but will hopefully give me the tools to finally be SOBER!!

I plan to visit MWO every day and post every day.

I have created a blog, which I hope to post on regularly to keep an account of my sober journey

I have signed up to 247's four week email sober plan (they send motivational emails everyday and also give you podcasts to download and listen too)

I have set up a reminder on my iphone to email me everyday at 5pm with the following message: Remember you are sober today to improve your health, improve your looks (remember how awful your skin looks) and to save my marriage.

I have actually taken a 'selfie' photo of myself today (with horrible red blotches and and puffy eyes) and I will look at it every time I get an urge to drink.

I have cleared all of the alcohol that tempts me from the cupboard - and I am about to take a huge sack of empty bottles to the recycling bank.

So - today is DAY 1 - wish me luck! :thanks:

The toolbox is a great place, and others will tell you just stay on here (and I agree).

It is best to read posts from Byrdie, NoSugar, Pav , Lav and others who are several days AF.

Regretibly, I am not yet. I am here for you, however, you deem fit for you. Congrats on the day 1- I hope you have many more! But, if you want to start doing this together, I will do my best to stand beside you.

Love,
Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

roxane;1685080 wrote: One of the points of Allan carrs book is to change your mindset regarding alcohol. White knuckling is not good but being stubborn about quitting is. Subtle difference but big consequences.

Chicken and egg comes to mind when it comes to if we drink because, or because we drink.

One huge problem goes away when you quit though, that much I know.

I just finished the book last night. I don't perceive that I will be cured in 24 hours. I know better than that. My point is...it's a good book, and I am going to attempt his methods. IDK what else to say in regard to it. Thanks

[Wearywino]

Newbies Nest

Morning all - hope you are all feeling well and unhungover today.

Obviously I am quite new posting here on MWO - but I have been struggling with alcohol for more years than I can count on both hands! I have tried to give up on numerous occasions. Have promised myself (and family) that I would try to stop.

I feel much stronger in my quit this time because I have read and read and read (not only here but numerous sober blogs - there are some amazing stories out there) - and taken on board tips and advice (Lav, Byrdie and Nosugar - you all rock!) selected a range of tools and made a plan. I am only on Day Two - so I'm certainly not an authority, but I actually feel that this time I WILL succeed because for the first time in my life I have put all of the nuts and bolts in place to make this structure stand!

I have set up my own blog (just made my day two post) and have set up a Twitter account @wearywino and am now in touch with lots of other people on the sobriety path - and of course I am coming here too. This all sounds excessive - it probably is (it certainly takes up a lot of time! time I would otherwise be spending drinking :H) - but I feel really accountable to everyone who is in this with me now. If I fail this time, I'm not only letting myself down - but all of the lovely people who are rooting for me too. I now pray that I never have to eat my hat!! :H

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

Well done on your first day af!

Putting your ducks in a row is an important start, posting here, blogging, whatever it takes for you. I tried different ways, when it didn't work I tried another.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

available;1685083 wrote: I certainly dont put staples on anyone Sarah but the suspense is killing all of us. The problem is you havent tried anyway yet that i have seen let alone 50 ways.

Good point Roxy.

I suppose that is where we differ. I have significantly cut down on intake, going to drs now, and have stayed here throughout. That may not be enough for 'anyone', but for me it's a step forward. And, if anyone pulls even those simple steps away from me...than it effects me...in a negative way.

Don't worry about the suspense...this is not a soap opera. I'm doing what I can to save my life, whether you agree or not in the way I handle it..is frankly, unimportant. I do not say that to be demeaning or obtrusive or otherwise. It just is what it is. I am TRYING.

If you'd like, I'd happily give you my hubby's cell phone number so he can explain to you the attempts and strides that I have taken. So, saying I haven't done anything is hurtful and not true.

That all being said, (and it was way too much), maybe I should quit posting until I say "day 30".

Truth is, I don't really have anything to offer until I am AF. However, I thought this forum was to help others who were suffering with AL. And, if I don;t do it 'YOUR WAY' than it's not good enough. Oh boy does that remind me of my mother.

HOW about I do it MY WAY with ya'lls help! There's an idea!

I've said enough and probably 'burnt alot of bridges', but I'm doing this for ME not YOU.

All my love,

Sarah

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

Sarah, you are biting hands and spitting out the offerings. IF that helps you....... You may run out of hands though before it does.

[available]

Newbies Nest

i will happily wait until you have a day 1 sarah, like you i am not going anywhere and each and everyday i am sober is a bonus. I, Sarah have advice to give as i have done the hard yards, so it is not my way, it is the way that mwo works in being accountable, not drinking, being af, posting, reading and not drinking. there are moderating threads for moderators and there are threads for everything really. NN is to help those that are stopping drinking and are wracking up af days.

You can put me down as much as you like Sarah, i have tried to help you, i have tried to give you advice and every word has really not helped you at all. You can be as aggressive to me as much as you want but i have become af, i have listened to the fellow nesters and i made my plan and i stopped drinking. I have been on here for 3 years and i stopped and started, moderated, you name it i did it and only when i knew i was truly ready to give it my best shot and commit to being honest and stop lying to myself about al then i could truly move forward in being sober and start posting regularly on here.

I also have a few mwoers that i have the privilege to help on the path of being sober and i dont think they would agree that it is MY WAY in being and keeping sober. I too could give you their emails so you could see how successful in their quest is to being af.

Actions always speak louder than words.

I apologise nesters for this banter in advance.

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

Ava made a good point Sarah, perhaps the mods threads will be better for you for the moment, after all you say you have been modding since February.