Newbies Nest
Hi, Everyone:
I got through the evening fine - it is amazing to me how places can be such triggers! We had a fine time, although she drinks A LOT and might not see it. Maybe I can help her some time in the future.
Weary - thanks for the link to your blog. I love writing and I have a professional blog for my work, but I do sometimes wish that I joined the sober blogger crew. I look forward to reading your journey.
WMM - Sorry about your night. Can you use your feelings today (blech) to give you incentive to quit? Can you enlist the support of your husband? Maybe you need all of the alcohol out of the house for a while? Maybe you need an "in person" accountability that telling someone face-to-face would get you? Anyway - welcome and settle in.
This is an interesting conversation - I have two things to add. First, I just listened to the Bubble Hour on Willingness yesterday - they talk about the willingness to just do what sober people tell you to do. I talk about it here - I followed what the long term sober people told me to do, even if I didn't believe it or was skeptical, because it seems to have worked for them. The guest makes a point that you only have to be 51% willing - not even 100% in at all times. (He also talks about hating the people who talked to him about being happy and sober). That's the point of a sober community - we do all have individual ideas of what will work for us, but there is collective wisdom and experience that is invaluable. With 7 plus months sober, I post questions to long timers all the time on the abstinence thread, and I reckon even Byrdie and Lav have questions of want advice from time to time.
The second thing I would like to add is this daily ponderable that someone sent me in the beginning of my quit. I have posted it several times before, but I think it is a useful calibration from time to time:
"We felt different... Only after surrender are we able to overcome the alienation of addiction."
Basic Text, p. 22
"But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.
So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program- not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of-or perhaps in response to those hardships.
Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.
Just for Today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it.
OK - about to leave on my 3 day trip off the grid. Stay strong nesters - you really can't imagine how much better EVERYTHING (relationships, ailments, problems, celebrations) is when you are sober.
Pav
Hi, Everyone:
I got through the evening fine - it is amazing to me how places can be such triggers! We had a fine time, although she drinks A LOT and might not see it. Maybe I can help her some time in the future.
Weary - thanks for the link to your blog. I love writing and I have a professional blog for my work, but I do sometimes wish that I joined the sober blogger crew. I look forward to reading your journey.
WMM - Sorry about your night. Can you use your feelings today (blech) to give you incentive to quit? Can you enlist the support of your husband? Maybe you need all of the alcohol out of the house for a while? Maybe you need an "in person" accountability that telling someone face-to-face would get you? Anyway - welcome and settle in.
This is an interesting conversation - I have two things to add. First, I just listened to the Bubble Hour on Willingness yesterday - they talk about the willingness to just do what sober people tell you to do. I talk about it here - I followed what the long term sober people told me to do, even if I didn't believe it or was skeptical, because it seems to have worked for them. The guest makes a point that you only have to be 51% willing - not even 100% in at all times. (He also talks about hating the people who talked to him about being happy and sober). That's the point of a sober community - we do all have individual ideas of what will work for us, but there is collective wisdom and experience that is invaluable. With 7 plus months sober, I post questions to long timers all the time on the abstinence thread, and I reckon even Byrdie and Lav have questions of want advice from time to time.
The second thing I would like to add is this daily ponderable that someone sent me in the beginning of my quit. I have posted it several times before, but I think it is a useful calibration from time to time:
"We felt different... Only after surrender are we able to overcome the alienation of addiction."
Basic Text, p. 22
"But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.
So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program- not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of-or perhaps in response to those hardships.
Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.
Just for Today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it.
OK - about to leave on my 3 day trip off the grid. Stay strong nesters - you really can't imagine how much better EVERYTHING (relationships, ailments, problems, celebrations) is when you are sober.
Pav
), you've got to engage with others by reading and posting. And that does take quite a bit of time, especially at the beginning. It looks like you're doing that really well. This is my favorite blog on Wordpress at the moment: 
This means I get support even when I'm away from my desk. When I feel like reading and chatting I come here to MWO - and each day I can vent an opinion on my blog. I can honestly say that the buzz I am getting is better than the buzz from drink! Only trouble is, I think my hubby is worrying that I'm having an affair as I'm constantly checking my phone - might have to come clean soon (but not too soon - like to keep him on his toes! :H)
plus, of course, reading and posting.
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