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    Newbies Nest

    momofthree;1685861 wrote: I never thought at all about coming on here, I was out the door to get groceries with the kids and the liquor is attached to the grocery store which made it that much easier.
    Hi, Momof3.

    Glad you're getting right back with your program and not letting 1 event take you back to where you were.

    Even though you have a very busy life, it might be worth it to make a habit of checking in here and posting - at least a couple times a day. Even if you're just saying hi and that you're fine (which everyone will be happy to hear), you are developing a new pattern so that next time you're tempted to drink, perhaps you'll be more likely to come here and post about it before you do it.

    Just typing it out is often enough to stop you from making a bad choice. Wait for a response. I can just about guarantee you that no one will say that buying a couple bottles of wine and drinking them sounds like a solution to your problem. If MWO is your main tool to becoming sober, you've got to use it.

    The other thing about posting regularly is that you will develop relationships that will help you not choose to drink. Of course we should be accountable to ourselves but at the beginning, most of us don't have enough self-respect to value our own opinion very much. We've probably disappointed ourselves so many times, it doesn't even mean much any more - we feel worthless, weak, and trapped. By engaging here, though, most people start feeling accountable to the group. You won't want to disappoint people who have helped you and you won't want to sound like a hypocrite to someone you have encouraged not to drink. I know this sounds like a need for external justification (a problem many addicts seem to have) but for once - let's use it to our advantage! As your self-respect grows with time AF, you'll be the main person you don't want to let down and you'll still have the additional support of all your sober peers.

    A great tool is to commit to posting before drinking. It could make all the difference.

    All the best, NS

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      Newbies Nest

      Thank you NS, that is a great plan. As long as you don't mind me bitching and moaning about whats bothering me, it would mostly be her since Im very happy with the rest of my life. Even when Ive had a bad day with the kids its still not as bad as dealing with her, and Ive had a few this place week due to teething and such.

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        Newbies Nest

        Whine (not wine ) away, Momof3!

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          Newbies Nest

          GRRR :upset:

          BAD start to the day. Hubs is having self esteem issues and dragging me down.

          It all kind of just blew up when he phoned me while I was driving to work.

          This is a trigger situation.

          I am not really angry with him, just feel bad for him and responsible for contributing to the feelings this morning, since he was more absent minded than usual this morning and I called his attention to it.

          Oh well. It will resolve. No use drinking AT people, right Byrdie....all that will do is make me a fat drunk!

          Also have a huge deadline at work today.

          Please send me strength.

          Sorry, I have not had time to read back, but I will when I have a chance.

          :l to all
          :heartbeat:

          Star:star:

          08-13-15

          I am only one drink away from never being sober again.

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            Newbies Nest

            Sending you strength, Star!! You're right about drinking at people and that is one of my favourite sayings from Byrdie. Could you "just" try to stay as much in the moment as possible? That is what always helps me the most. Somehow the Moment is always manageable and it's all we really have anyway. :l to you!! Let us know how it all goes and don't give in to the Beast, no matter what!

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              Newbies Nest

              Okay. Twenty minutes after my previous post and I feel better now. I was able to read back thru the posts I missed last night and the theme of the evening was avoiding drinking AT people. Seems like I fit right it with my complaint.
              It's really funny how some of us who have been around for a bit all realize that drinking AT people solves not a thing.
              I am so sorry for everyone who has a poor relationship with their mom. My mom was an alcoholic too and caused lots of pain and family drama, but she has always been a sweetheart.
              Byrdie, I hope you are okay.
              :heartbeat:

              Star:star:

              08-13-15

              I am only one drink away from never being sober again.

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                Newbies Nest

                cross post, LC..Thanks so much. I will try to stay in the moment. Meetings start at nine, so I don't have much time to read and post here.
                For the first time ever, I am contemplating adding my "day 6" to the roll call until I make it thru the day. Usually, I do that first thing in the morning. Do you think that's a bad sign? Hope not!
                :heartbeat:

                Star:star:

                08-13-15

                I am only one drink away from never being sober again.

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                  Newbies Nest

                  MOM, don't beat yourself up! I just did this, and now I'm proud to be on little day 3 - that's right, proud. Keep reaching for victories, and remember how great you felt not drinking. That has helped me so much! And being gentle with yourself.

                  WEARY, I'm so glad you had such a nice birthday evening without AL! WAY TO GO!!!!! I bet you actually enjoyed the show more? I have found myself enjoying music more than before... I think my brain was just so fuzzy in the daytimes from drinking the night before that I lived just a bit numb.

                  I woke up at 3am when my little one called me - and I was SOOOOOOO happy to NOT be shaking off multiple drinks. In fact, I was nicer to her, calmed her down better and felt like a great mama. I never thought of myself as a dysfunctional drunk, but I just can't believe all the small ways life is better without the stuff. I am keeping work things more organized, laughing more, exercising more, and a million other things.

                  LC, I have addressed drinking with the kiddos in general - when they play their restaurant game, I've started saying "Sprite please". They ask, and I just say "Alcohol can be enjoyable in small quantities, but not every night". I think I will lead by example for now, and someday have the "talk" with them about the fact that they may be pre-disposed to addiction.
                  Kensho

                  Done. Moving on to life.

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Star CONGRATULATIONS on day 6! you should add to roll call as soon as you are done your meeting, so you won't be tempted. I wont be adding to roll call til i get my 1st AF day in Monday July 28

                    Kensho Living Numb , i understand completely how that feels.. Good for you telling your children sprite please and setting a wonderful example for them! that must be the greatest feelingand i look forward to joining in on the joy..

                    Mom of 3 . I am so sorry to hear about your relationship with your Mom, you probably need her more than ever, especially with 3 little ones to care for.. Moms are supposed to be the most unselfish and unconditionally loving people in your life. I'm trying to be that person for my children, because thats the way my mom was and is for me. Shes 80 now and isnt able to get around much if at all but im still glad she is in my life. Is your Mom an alcoholic? did she have children when she was very young? has she always been like this?

                    Weary Wino Congratulations on day 3 !

                    Life Change Thanks for the welcome, i know there is never a good day to quit. i have picked Monday the 28th, i will be away on business for 3 nights

                    I am so excited about my plan! I've never really been excited about having to go to FL for work before, but i am, i am so much i am smiling. i see this as a new beginning, a door to the other side, a great opportunity to turn it around... I leave Monday for FL and have to spend 3 night away from home and the kids and all the other stressors I drink AT. I am packing my gym stuff .. I am actually being booked at a different hotel, which is great, because this one does not have a balcony. there fore i wont be tempted to sit out on the balcony and drink and smoke!

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                      Newbies Nest

                      whitemarshmom;1685927 wrote:
                      Mom of 3 . I am so sorry to hear about your relationship with your Mom, you probably need her more than ever, especially with 3 little ones to care for.. Moms are supposed to be the most unselfish and unconditionally loving people in your life. I'm trying to be that person for my children, because thats the way my mom was and is for me. Shes 80 now and isnt able to get around much if at all but im still glad she is in my life. Is your Mom an alcoholic? did she have children when she was very young? has she always been like this?
                      Thank you..:l I do need her more then ever and she is just not there. She is not an alcoholic, she rarely drinks. She has been like this for as long as I can remember and she seems to be getting worse. Shes just pushing me further and further away.

                      Have a great trip to FL! Love it there!

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                        Newbies Nest

                        whitemarshmom;1685927 wrote:
                        I am so excited about my plan! I've never really been excited about having to go to FL for work before, but i am, i am so much i am smiling. i see this as a new beginning, a door to the other side, a great opportunity to turn it around...
                        I'm "chuffed" for you WMM :H:H I'm not sure what that means, exactly, but it's good! (Some of our friends across the pond use "chuffed" and I always have wanted to use it, so now I have!) I hope it means proud- because I am proud of you!

                        And thanks for the congrats on day 6...I did go ahead and sign in on roll call....I won't want to have to erase it later.

                        I'll tell y'all, back in me drinkin days, I would have used a morning like this one to drink my lunch :upset:


                        Momx3 :l Good job on jumping back in the nest,

                        Kensho, sounding great!

                        LC, thanks for your words this morning. I was able to draw on them during a stressful time during my meeting this morning and pulled my butt "into the present" - worked great!
                        :heartbeat:

                        Star:star:

                        08-13-15

                        I am only one drink away from never being sober again.

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Self Respect.

                          So I went to the gym this morning - and after my shower I looked in the mirror and saw someone I respected. The feeling actually shocked me a bit. I treated myself pretty poorly for a long time... putting poison in my body, dulling down my emotions and senses, making myself stay up late to work (till 2am or all night), ignoring my needs. I have just flat out decided that I don't work at night - just like I don't drink. I am taking care of my body - eating well and sweating lots - weight training too. And I am laughing more, enjoying talking to my kids like it's gold - they are so wise and "in the moment" and un-sensored. How very, very much I would regret not savoring this age with them. And my body now has the tools to do what I ask her to do - which is much more reasonable. I am starting to find that I just don't have a place for AL in this life. :h

                          It has taken a solid plan, support like you all, a bit of bravery, and most of all - faith... that all these other sober people know what they are talking about - that it IS better on the other side of the work.

                          Thank you! :h
                          Kensho

                          Done. Moving on to life.

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Coming to the end of day 4. Things seem so unreal at times. The abdominal twinges have greatly reduced. No other symptoms other than anxiety. I don't want to speak too soon. Still scared my liver won't recover. Scared of ultrasound scan and next LFTs, however many weeks away they might be. Been flirting with the reaper.
                            ?Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.?

                            ― George Carlin

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Daevid welcome to the nest, this is a great place to settle in and be accountable. I always wanted to have a blood test but thought my liver levels would be through the roof. I also had a "thought' that i would stop drinking for 5 weeks and then get a blood test. My only problem was i could not stop drinking for one day let alone five weeks. When i did go after 40 days my liver levels were great. I then did have that thought of "oh i must not have drank that much then". Only an alky can think like that. You dont need to flirt with the grim reaper anymore! Life is so much better sober.
                              AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                                Newbies Nest

                                David, luckily your liver is one of the most regenerative organs in the body. I almost didn't post this because one of my best friends is a raging alcoholic who upon hearing that statement took it as she could continue to drink a fifth a day plus a 6 pack of beer. She'll be dead in the five years. The human body can only withstand so much damage. But that statement innocently given to inspire hope for healing gave her free license to continue full speed ahead thinking there wasn't a real danger to her. Please, no one misread this as she did.

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