Newbies Nest

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

whitemarshmom;1687201 wrote:

Today is the day I have been waiting for! I leave for my work trip today about 3pm! I feel so excited about the next 3 days and being AF!

You can do it, WMM :l

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

WMM, attitude is so important! I have watched mom slowly turn into her mom, with an increasing bitterness invading her every perception. She chooses to be "glass half empty" about most situations. What a waste of time always wishing things were different. The happy people I know find goodness in all situations, even if they don't turn out how we wish. And they have very realistic expectations and just let life flow. They have an appreciation for life in its raw, real state and do not try to fit it into some fairytale mold.

I will not end up 65 and bitter that I did not live and enjoy life, no matter what it brings.

Here here WMM to your first AF day. Kudos for your bravery and faith in the process. You will never regret this decision!!!

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

So many heros here

1st post :new:
OK, so I REALLY need to quit. I?ve tried like so many here multiple times before, but starting again this week after reading some of the ideas and encouraging posts from this site. I have with me this time Declinol (a Kudzu based product), B-vitamins, l-glutamine, magnesium, milk thistle and a few other natural supplements and plenty of water and some decent snacks.
I?ve been trying to quit seriously I think for 6 months..some minimal progress but still an issue ( I was able to cut back somewhat in the past). I starting drinking more than 20 yrs ago but it has gotten so much worse in the last 5-6 yrs as stress, etc. allowed me to become just weak and confused. I drink every day, most of the day (including now mornings and afternoons even while at work). I?m worst at night and weekends though. A fifth of vodka, rum or bourbon are a common sitting (no mixed, drinks, no ice..just straight from the bottle now). Recent health tests tell me I?m killing myself and need to stop..for myself and for my family. I hit a scary reality this weekend when I attempted to drive my kids somewhere and was surely swerving all over the place?luckily my wife was with me to stop me?we have since cleared our house of any alcohol and she insisted I go to AA. I called my sister yesterday who went through AA and is now 9 months sober. She likes AA and it has helped her. My family (Including parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts , cousins, etc. ) are all heavy drinkers and it?s all I really remember seeing growing up as a kid (my dad had an open bar so I was able to sneak drinks as early as maybe 14 years old).
I?ve been to AA a few times including yesterday but didn?t like it. I have read these posts for a few weeks a while a felt I would add this to my toolbox. Thesere are so many great stories here. There are so many heroes here. Some day I hope will be my day. Today is day 1 again. I signed up here last week but was unable to post because I got so mad at the signup process (the stupid mixed letters thing was to hard to read, so I gave up and went drinking..I know that sounds horrible and probably funny in a way, but it?s just how bad things have gotten)?Anyway, I?m going to try again ..not sure what to expect?not sure if I?m even trying 100% clean, or just reduction at first,,..anyway?I?m taking pills, drinking lots of water and trying to distract myself for now?sorry if this is hard to read, but I feel a lack of concentration right now?.wish me luck (I know it is more than luck though)
:new:

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

welcome to you See the Light.

you sound serious which is the right way to be. and have tools in place. use them all, discard, change, find new ones. but keep trying.

a lot of us thought about stopping for a while before attempting it, sometimes failing but never giving in. thats a big part of it. dont stop trying.

it can be a pain logging in sometimes, dont let that be an excuse to drink

read, post, read. the toolbox is great for finding what resonates with you. there are a lot of pages, i picked them randomly must mostly the last half.

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Kensho, what you just posted was lovely! It made me think. I don't know if I am bitter but I certainly am worryingly cynical at the moment. It is so important to see something good in every day.
For me the goodness in today:-[list][*]No sign of mice in upper kitchen cupboards[*]Great meeting with neighbours re getting in pest control to sort out miceKitchen cleaned, every surface, every cupboard, inside and out

• Mum seemed happy, laughing and joking when I visited

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Seethelight! Make a serious commitment to read what you can here.....there is a wealth of knowledge and information. Glad you're here.......

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Hair

It will be a miracle if I have any after chemotherapy, radiotherapy and hormone anti cancer treatment for five years. All of these things can cause permanent hair loss. My hair is very average long hair, if anything a bit thin already., but it still looks very pretty...... the prognosis does not seem good for me re growing hair (like now!!)

My body rejected the implant, I can cope with a very scarred flat place no nipple etc I can cope with no breast .................. but no hair !!!!

Tomorrow is my birthday and I feel I have no joy in my life, for just over a week now I have been having to get up every night and go into my living room to get away from the mice that are roaming about in the ceiling above my head . For hours I do not sleep! I just sit on my sofa and read and then go back to bed when daylight breaks.

I have had some laughs today with my mum, brother and dad, but somewhat tinged with sadness as it does look as if my mum has cancer.

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Roll Call

See the Light
I find posting as often as I can on roll call gives me a really good incentive to maintain sobriety.

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Thanks

Thanks :thanks: all for the welcome..DD- I also think posting here is a good way to maintain accountibility, and for me maybe easier than AA (not that it should be easy). I have already read so many success stories here so it must be possible. My longest AF period I can recall in last 20 years is maybe 6 days. That is one of my goals, even if not right away. Nothing yet to drink today (i.e. I haven't had anything while at work, although frankly I'm not getting as much work done as I should either!). Either way, if I can stop coming into work hung over, it seems like a win win. I know I need to stay busy tonight. Congrats to all who have done this before and been sucessful...I know it is really hard

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

Darkest Diamond;1687302 wrote: It will be a miracle if I have any after chemotherapy, radiotherapy and hormone anti cancer treatment for five years. All of these things can cause permanent hair loss. My hair is very average long hair, if anything a bit thin already., but it still looks very pretty...... the prognosis does not seem good for me re growing hair (like now!!)

My body rejected the implant, I can cope with a very scarred flat place no nipple etc I can cope with no breast .................. but no hair !!!!

Tomorrow is my birthday and I feel I have no joy in my life, for just over a week now I have been having to get up every night and go into my living room to get away from the mice that are roaming about in the ceiling above my head . For hours I do not sleep! I just sit on my sofa and read and then go back to bed when daylight breaks.

I have had some laughs today with my mum, brother and dad, but somewhat tinged with sadness as it does look as if my mum has cancer.

its all getting to you DD, of course it is, and while in that pit you see no way out. and there isnt, today. you are acknowledging it which is all you can do but please be minded that it wont always be like this. youre very tired and physically whacked (i dont know why i feel the need to point out the bleedin obvious) but ODAT is a good way of thinking for many things.

i did pm you a while ago but maybe it went awol, a few other no replies as well, maybe i should get paranoid! please feel free to pm me if you wish :l


STL keep busy or do nothing, whatever is right, just dont stress it. stress is a good excuse to drink and atm you know no other way to deal with it..........

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Roxanne (what a great 1950s sounding name)

I am so very sorry if I did not respond to your pms. It was nothing personal, I have felt very low lately , I truly appreciate the support on here , thanks for being so kind to me . I don't want you to feel that I have been ungrateful..... this is a lesson to me .... several people have reached out and I have not got back in touch.... I am sorry for this ... I do appreciate all the help/prayers/loving thoughts that I have been given, sometimes I do not know how to respond but I should always say thank you. xxxxx

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Roxane

This is just to show you I can spell your name

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

no problem DD, didnt intend to shovel guilt on you on top of everything else.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Welcome STL, settle in and make yourself at home. I was a lunatic posting and reading in the early days. No one understands a fellow alky like a fellow alky, remember that. We have all been where you are and we all understand how hard it is to stop drinking. We can only do one day at a time. Al will always tell you that you were not that bad, that you deserve a drink, you have had a bad day, the sky is blue, the moon is round. It will try and entice you to drink, you and only you have the choice to say no. I was a 2 bottle a day drinker for over 7+ years but have drank all my life and progressively gotten worse. We all reach our bottom and this seems like yours. You will never regret gaining your life back, i know i havent. Sugar became my best friend and thats okay, a few pounds is better than a few bottles. I thought the other day that i have not consumed 500 bottles of wine since i stopped nearly 8 months ago. I dont even think my old bottleshop stocked that many. Best of luck and keep on here. You will notice that the people with days up always log on here (although there can be major logging in issues) once or twice a day. If you cant get on here watch youtube documentaries on alcoholism and read. You can do this.

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

available--thx ...that is good advice and appreciate the welcome. Congrats on your pogress as well.