Newbies Nest

[momofthree]

Newbies Nest

Its a very long process to accept that, I still feel that's not fair either that I cant just sit and enjoy a glass of wine. Why do I have to be the one that keeps sneaking into the kitchen for more when I think people aren't noticing. Which is stupid since people can see the wine level dropping. I cant just have one, it took me years to get that through my head and accept that. And its also not just me anymore, I have three children to shape and love and they are watching everything I do, and everything I don't do. My husband is my rock, we take care of each other and I need to be there for him and so many other reasons. I am rambling. But, you will get to the point where you truly have had enough and you will know in your heart that a nice cup of tea or coffee will do just as well as a glass of wine, and no bad side effects to follow. All the best,

[available]

Newbies Nest

What we have to accept is that we are alcoholics or addicted and we cant have one drink. Like a crack addict or heroin addict or smoker we cant have just one to be sociable or because we want one. One is never ever enough and that is the hardest part to accept. i know until i accepted that i was an alcoholic then it was a constant battle to be sober. Now i have accepted that i am, the internal battle is over and my life began as a sober person. It is an acceptance i will never regret.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Sorry you decided to drink Kensho. It's always a choice & as long as you leave the option on the table....
It helped me to accept that my 'off button' was broken. There was just no possible way in hell I was going to be satisfied after just one drink. When you think of it those terms it just seems a little easier to accept

Just ran into this article:
Why I Don't Drink Alcohol & How To Cut Back On Booze Without Being A Hermit

Wishing everyone a great AF Thursday!

Lav

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Kensho- I know every time I have drank anything in the last few years I don't like it anymore..so that tells me somehting right there (why would I drink it them?). Start again and be confident you can do it. I know I will never still stop trying to quit and 1 time I will quit drinking for good.

Last night for me was similar to the one before. Stayed at work late (I keep this up and I'm a lock for a promo) to avoid temptations. Got home and hung with my kids until around dark when my wife asked me to spray this wasp nest in my yard. I sprayed them good, and got stung once pretty hard. 1'st thought- dammit I need a drink. so I did. 3 large glasses of ice water (I use this MioEnergy drops to make it taste better). Felt full and less interested in AL...maybe all those times I drank AL before I was just partly thristy? Anyway, I took them with B-vitamins, Declinol pills (I think I'll just replace these with Kudzu extract when I run out) and my glutamine chews. Had late light dinner, put my kids to bed and fell asleep watching Sharknado 2 (which was pretty funny btw). Woke up this morning feeling better than the last 2 days and ready to take on day AF #3.

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Kensho - Sorry to hear about your slip. It sounds like you have thought a lot about it and captured a few valuable things that will help you going forward. Save the post that you wrote and re-read it if you feel those cravings rise again. Or print it and put it somewhere you can easily access it.

One thing that really helped me was to make AL non-negotiable. As much as I might want to be a person who can just enjoy one drink, I'm not. I have to treat it as though I'm allergic to it, no matter how badly I might think I want it at times.

For me, as hard as it is sometimes, the easiest drink to resist is the first one.

Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and start over as a stronger wiser person.

Hugs to you. :l

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nest!
Gosh, I can't add to a thing that has been said....Pav, you and Ava have absolutely reached Nest Mother Status. NS, it must make you especially proud, they are products of 'your generation'! It brings a tear to the eye to see how far we've all come (under Lav's wing). It is definitely a process!

Acceptance is the last piece of the puzzle! (remember the stages of grief: Anger, Denial, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance). I'm telling you, acceptance is where it's at! How many years did we fight it? 10, 15, 20? LONGER (in my case) Deep down we KNOW what we are, we are just trying to prove otherwise. Trouble is the harder we try to disprove the theory we more we are actually PROVING it. There is only one thing worse that being a recovering alcoholic and that's being one that's not! Jump back up. Once you can operate on your own, without AL's influence, you will see that the moments in life....the TRUE moments, are not measured by what's in your glass. They are the PEOPLE and PLACES you interact with. Wine is just poison in a glass for us. So what if other people can drink it? Other people are rich and thin! I'm not one of those either. Accept it and move forward!!! At this point in our lives, AL will do us NO favors. EV-ERRRR. (to be said like a teen)

Hope everyone has an easy day!!! STL, great job on getting to Day 3!!!! Byrdie

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

See the Light;1688306 wrote:
Last night for me was similar to the one before. Stayed at work late (I keep this up and I'm a lock for a promo) to avoid temptations. Got home and hung with my kids until around dark when my wife asked me to spray this wasp nest in my yard. I sprayed them good, and got stung once pretty hard. 1'st thought- dammit I need a drink. so I did. 3 large glasses of ice water (I use this MioEnergy drops to make it taste better). Felt full and less interested in AL...maybe all those times I drank AL before I was just partly thristy? Anyway, I took them with B-vitamins, Declinol pills (I think I'll just replace these with Kudzu extract when I run out) and my glutamine chews. Had late light dinner, put my kids to bed and fell asleep watching Sharknado 2 (which was pretty funny btw). Woke up this morning feeling better than the last 2 days and ready to take on day AF #3.

Awesome job STL!!! You scared me there for a minute when I read, "so I did." Whew - ice water. Great strategy, and so glad you're heading into day 3.

Sharknado 2, really??? :H

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

STL, I think that 'we' interpret hunger and thirst for AL cravings. Funny how simply eating and drinking something seems to satisfy us (enough to get over the hump!).

Wags, spot on, as always. B

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie- Yes, I think so too. I know I've been dehyadrated some mornings after drining the night before so I decide to hit a gas station on the way to work and grab a cold AL bev to revitalize. To people without a problem, this probably sounds like lunacy. To my brain, it just made sense. That needs to stop (for anyone still there, that includes you too!)


and Thanks Wags as well

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

wagmore;1688318 wrote: One thing that really helped me was to make AL non-negotiable.

Wags, I think this completely sums it up. When a person can use whatever tools s/he needs to get to this point, the rest works itself out. Cravings fade. Sleep improves. Pleasure comes from others things. Once the internal battle has stopped because you have taken control and surrendered to fact that you are not in charge if you drink one drink but are the BOSS if you consume none, all you have to do is give the miracles that are the human body, mind, and spirit time to heal. When I realized that I never wanted to drink again, the relief was enormous. It freed me to face the AF future a day at a time without fear and thankful for all the support I had found here.

[Ja]

Newbies Nest

Thanks every one!

Thanks for the welcome. I love the talking about acceptance of the situation. My mind does the flip from why can't I drink to I never can again and all kinds of b..s...t in between. Nothing seems to excite me more though than to think that this could be the time I make the forever run at being AF. I really do like myself 1000 times better when I'm AF and really have wondered why I would return to the misery of heavy drinking. I'm such a liar when I'm drinking and inevitably I really end up exposing myself with some stupid display. I'm finding that hypnosis downloads played quietly at bedtime and maybe looping through the night have been very helpful in getting myself away from the nighttime self loathing or head spinning on crazy past stories. I'm also finally on antidepressants which I resisted for years, but now am so grateful for. So, this time feels different, and finding MWO feels like the best thing ever. Thank you for being here and all you teach and share. Day 2 AF and feeling good and hopeful.:thanks:

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for your no-nonsense straight talk. I believe I've been feeling a wee bit sorry for myself! There are so many worse problems to have than to not be able to drink "just one". But it still seems somewhat unbelievable and unfamiliar (me never drinking again), and I need to work on visualizing images of this new me so it becomes more believable. There's no doubt in my mind that I have a problem with AL and need to stop, but I need to do some reinventing.

Spent some time in the toolbox last night - what a sea of great info!! My plan will have to be more comprehensive. I had great success stopping the first time when I made a plan for EVERY day, and did visualization, distraction techniques, affirmations (the "work" part of it). I bought the hypnosis CDs and haven't cracked the seal.

Tonight in-laws for dinner; opinions please:
1. AL-free beer to avoid conversation completely
2. Say I'm cleansing until birthday
3. Tell them never again
*note, M-in-law drinks too much wine - not sure if I want that conversation, and I haven't told husband anything yet

[available]

Newbies Nest

Well today is 8 months of sobriety for me and today i woke up and looked at the date and thought how the hell did i ever get to being sober let alone 8 months sober. By pure determination to live the life i deserve, by waking up in the morning and logging onto MWO (not facebook), by having my support network (my children and here) and by being accountable to myself. I will never face another morning hungover and wishing my life was over, i will never scrape together money to buy al, i will never drive drunk again, i will never blackout, i will never fall over (well not drunk), i will never have phone calls i cant remember, i will never pick up random men drunk, i will never be disrespectful to myself.

Without the kindness and support of Byrd, Lav, NS, Jvo and especially my loamer besties and Roxane who is my nightime emailing buddy and of course my quit buddy Pav i would be on the treadmill of giving up al and i am happy to say that that is not me anymore. Sure i miss al but i never want to have again what it gave me, sober has given me my life back and so much more.

I am having my "baby's" 21st tomorrow night and when we first talked about it, i so wanted to drink, just one, just have fun, just be sociable but tomorrow i am celebrating my last child's 21st sober. I figured i should do one sober out of 4. I am not worried, i am proud and i will be happy to say that i dont drink and i will be happy to say why. If it can make one of his friends think about their drinking then i have no problems with saying it how it is.

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Congrats Ava - you are an inspiration

Kensho- if you were taking votes I personally would choose #2. It will probabaly make it easier for next time the conversation arises (probably with your husband 1st). Stopping drinking is ceratinly something to be proud of

I was tooling around the toolbox today and there are so many great older posts there (some of you may have seen them). This is my favorite today (I even printed it off to bring in home and in my car)

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ml#post1341551

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Had a bad night last night. Husband was being a total asshat and I found myself wanting to drink at him. First time I have felt like that since I quit drinking. It's a good thing I'm so damn stubborn. For once in my life it's actually paying off. I found the overwhelming frustration and anger toward him a real trigger to not to want to feel. I actually wanted to drink and not give a damn. Instead I went to different room and plucked my eyebrows. Lame, but it was "doing something else" anything else but heading for the liquor store. ASS butt thought he would show me by sleeping on the couch. The show of power won't work out well for him in the end. But I'm not numbing myself anymore so I can shut my mouth and not care. The bitch is back and she's not shutting down or shutting up ever again.