Newbies Nest

[Daevid]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the encouragement Lavande and Byrdlady. I have been taking milkthistle 8580mg daily as well as super one formula vitamins, odourless garlic pearls and 75mg aspirin.

I have checked Campral and apparently it's not metabolised by the liver, it's excreted in your urine. Thanks for the advice on liver function. I may leave it another 2 weeks before getting a repeat test. Thank you guys.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Good morning! Feeling positive today. Something about facing and stepping right into fears (and realizing they are not as scary as I had imagined) has made something click for me. Cravings are strong at times, but so many tools in toolbox give me tons of tactics to fight them. It's the fear that's been holding me back - and I had three events this past week that I looked at someone who wanted me to drink and said "I don't do this any more". And the world didn't end.

BYRDIE, I sure hope you don't float away! I would miss you!

MOM3, how wonderful for you to have such a supportive husband! And I haven't found anything yet that can't be helped by oatmeal and chocolate (with a little butter).

JA, I will never get over how great it is to wake up without a hangover. I used to say I didn't really get hangovers, but in reality, I told myself that to get past them. They SUCKED!

DAEVID, the liver can only improve without AL - keep it up! Sounds like you are doing good research on what you are ingesting and staying on top of your tests. Great job.

Have a good sober day everyone. I have loads of work to catch up on... I find that having something great to look forward to helps with the current stress. For me, that's going to be walking my puppy at 4:30 with kids, and then curling up in bed with my book - got a good one now.

Deep breaths Everyone!

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Daevid;1689665 wrote: Thanks for the encouragement Lavande and Byrdlady. I have been taking milkthistle 8580mg daily as well as super one formula vitamins, odourless garlic pearls and 75mg aspirin.

I have checked Campral and apparently it's not metabolised by the liver, it's excreted in your urine. Thanks for the advice on liver function. I may leave it another 2 weeks before getting a repeat test. Thank you guys.

Daevid - Sorry to hear you have such concerns with your liver. My concerns about my own liver were a huge part of why I went AF. One additional thing you might look into is lemon water as something to help detox and support your liver. I've been doing this, along with milk thistle, for the past 3 months and it has helped me tremendously.

[Ja]

Newbies Nest

Hey kids. Sorry to break the news, but my paining back broke my resolve. Got off work and got myself some beer. Thanks for all your help. Family is coming this weekend and I was a bit freaked about that....going to just be chill with the drinks and get through this round of life. Will be back to day 1 AF in a couple of weeks. The Byrdie moon will have to wait. Thanks for everything Ginger and Chief! Check in again soon. Ja

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Ja, you know, in our world there are always going to be reasons to drink....a good day, a bad day, a wedding....the day has a Y in it. I have observed that most folks fall on days 5/ 6. Thats when the rubber really hits the road. But we must move past our cravings....we must be able to NOT drink thru these situations. In the end, they are all just excuses.
I wish you would pour out the beer, and get back up on the wagon. You never know if your resolve will even be there in two weeks. I 'two weeked' myself to death. In about 100 days, its going to be Thanksgiving....will you be ready for the holidays or will yet another year slip thru your fingers. The cycle has to stop somewhere/ sometime. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I hope you will NOT wait 2 weeks, I hope you will stop NOW. Dont let AL take another day of your precious life. Al is a dead end in every way. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Sorry to hear about your decision to drink Ja. Sorry about the back pain too but you do know that beer will not provide effective pain relief in the long run. I hope you decide to jump back on board with us very soon.

Greetings to everyone & sending wishes for a safe night in the nest for all

Lav

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Lva,

Thanks so much for the link! It is very true to what I am going thru I think...so thank you!


Much love,

Sarah

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

J-vo put a great link up on the Loamers.....myreclaimedlife.com.....spent yesterday reading every bit of it....well worth a read for everyone.
Day 85 for me....Sunday we had blessing of the graves and a crowd came back to mums.....everyone was drinking and I did think how it would be nice, but I am implementing tools. Think the scene through to the end, one day at a time....I went home and helped paint my daughters room and set up her new bed. Later my daughters went back to mums and told me everyone was blocked (not mum)....then I was glad I hadn't joined in.
I have found as time goes on that when my resolve weakens I need to regroup my thoughts and strengthen those sober muscles.....reading that article yesterday was just what I needed......please read it.
Heading to the pool soon with 2 daughters.....starting childminding in September...a lot of positive changes coming my way.....or maybe I am more at peace dealing with everyday life....
Stick with it everyone and for those who are waiting on a start date....why prolong your agony?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Just wanted to say a quick hello then I'm out for some early appointments

Sarah, CBT is very effective therapy, I hope it helps you

Daisy, good for you avoiding temptation! That's how we win this battle, one day at a time

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Tuesday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
Still raining over here.
Daisy, that WAS a great article J-Vo posted, I read it all, too, yesterday! When he mentioned the oxygen mask, I thought 'You stole that line from me!!' Bah! Well worth the read and it has stuck with me since I read it.

I hope everyone has an easy day! Now where did I put those lifejackets.....xo, B

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

I wish it weren't the case but I'm going to be honest and say that I drank 3.5 last night. The very fact that I measure it in .5's is almost humorous to me, or very sad. I got all mad because I recognized a lot in myself when reading about ADD and dopamine... and that bastard AL voice snuck in and took advantage of me feeling sorry for myself - once again, I felt broken somehow and thought I deserved a "fix".... cuz my brain is "missing dopamine". I do wonder how this resolves over time when there is no alcohol ... longstanding depression?

I should have posted here or read over my tools.

Daisy, read through your link a bit this am and loved it... great find. Can't wait to read more.

I don't know how you veterans have the patience for people like me here. It must be so frustrating to read. I know I am frustrated doing it. And I always feel like apologizing because I've taken so much support and then just pissed all over it. Sorry to you and to myself.

[patrice]

Newbies Nest

Hi Kensho,
Just wanted to say Yes Do Keep going straight away... I drank a few days ago after some AF time but within a few hours was back here, got lots of support and kept straight on the AF path...
You can do this!
Xx
Pat

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Keep trying Kensho. I believe quitting AL is worth the effort. Good morning nesters.


It ends up we booked a decent hotel on the beach this weekend with our room unknowingly right next door the bar, of course. Temptations galore. College kids drinking all day. Unbeatable drink specials everywhere I looked.

I kept busy with my family and had fun though, and unlike every other vacation in the last few years, I didn't drink anything besides soda or water.

New record for me. I'm on my 8th day. I can't remember last time I did that. I don't expect to win any awards for it, but it does fill me with some hope. The week before I spent $150 on hard liquor (Ok I like the good stuff), so that is already money in my pocket..(I was spending at least $100/wk for the last 5 years, so I am going to save that money in a separate fund if I can make it). The physical anxiety has decreased and it does seem physically possible to stop, although mentally as everyone here knows, it is a continual challenge. I buy my gas the pump instead of going inside now. I don't go in to any liquor stores, bars or even grocery stores now because I don't trust myself yet. I do not hang with anyone who does anymore either. It is change I need, although it is not easy. If I don't change though, it will not stay this good. I know that, so I obsess about it now. Congrats to all those still AF or those willing to try again. From what I read on MWO, it is worth it. Never quit trying.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Just a question...

Just a question if any of you don't mind...

I have played this silly little game in my head for so long now, contemplating the extent of my problem, contemplating what it will be like without alcohol, contemplating everything regarding this subject, and I'm quite exhausted from it. Does the exhaustion stop? When you stop drinking long term, can you stop thinking about it so often? I am sooooooo tired of thinking about alcohol. I just want the issue to go away.

I'm just not sure what to do now. Feeling stuck and frustrated. The first time I came to this site, I stopped for 15 days. And then I decided I didn't want to deal with being the non-drinker on my anniversary trip to Costa Rica, so I introduced it back into my life to avoid dealing with it - NOT because I was craving it. Trip was great, but I ended up drinking daily again. Now that I've dealt with how it might feel to actually tell people "I don't drink", and contemplated being "that" person for the rest of my life - I'm guessing the next step is just to decide to do it once and for all - and do it NO MATTER WHAT. God, I read all this stuff the first day I came here and now, it's ringing true several months later. Do I have to keep screwing up to finally have enough experiences and consequences to push me over? I was doing so well, and BAM, mo'fo voice came out of nowhere last night and sold me a load of crap. I'm so mad, so tired and feeling pessimistic. I keep coming up with these great plans - the supplements, nutrition, toolbox and my own list of the favs, exercise, dealing with my fears regarding how other people see me, etc., etc., etc., and then in ONE night I blow it. I have been able to achieve EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING I have ever set my mind to in my life - except this.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Kensho

You will think about it less and less as time AF goes on but right now, you should be thinking about it, at least in the background of your mind, essentially all of the time. You have to, I think, to avoid making the wrong choice.

This might sound silly, but I concentrated on constantly noticing what was better now compared to "then" -- all day, every day. I would even notice what wasn't there. The lack of a craving or even the preceding discomfort is a wonderful thing. Keep yourself aware of what is better and appreciate it! This kind of mindfulness is what helps your brain switch to the rational part that is the real you and silence the other, more primitive part that wants to drink and has no sense of the consequences. It becomes a habit -- I still mentally note why my life is better now many times a day. I don't want to forget.

Over time you'll start having fewer and fewer negative, how can I possibly do this deprived thoughts and more and more positive, thank goodness I'm free thoughts. Eventually the instances of thinking about drinking because you want to do it become fewer and further between. They still arise and are surprising, but very manageable if you've done the work to keep yourself connected to your true self and the people that support you.

When I log in to MWO, which I try to do every day, I think about drinking and not drinking. I read posts in this thread and others and am reminded what I can expect if I do drink. There is no way I want to do anything to risk going back. And not thinking about drinking and its effects on me might open the door to going back.