Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1691128 wrote: I'm in a rented condo and last night opened the utility closet for the first time this week and what did I find but a previous tenant's empty vodka bottle. That is how most of us really drank - hanging out with the vacuum and cleaning supplies. Not very romantic at all.

Holy Moly!
I once put a couple empty 'airplane' bottle of vodka in a hotel toilet tank to hide them from hubs when I went in to take my bath and one got stuck on the ball thing inside and the toilet kept running after I got out and hubs went in and found them. I shoulda gotten an Academy Award for that performance. 'WHO would have DONE such a thing???' UGG.

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

So in the back trunk of my SUV is an area under the floor for some small storage and mostly to hold the tire jack (the intended purpose). When I last "quit" in April I was about 4 days in when we were going on a quick family 4 day vacation so I stashed 2 12 packs of mini bottles in that area "for emergencies" since no one ever went in there. Well, needless to say, I went in there and by day 1 both packs were gone (although no one in my family even noticed...that is how "good" I got at hiding those things). Looking a back at that now, I feel like a criminal and know now there was nothing "good" about things like that. It's stupid stuff like that which motivates me now.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

You all have me crackin' up this morning! The bottle hiding... I don't miss that, nor do I miss hiding AL breath - such a dishonest thing drinking was.

I've been going to bed, and waking up visualizing myself as the drunk (gets uglier every day), and as the sober person (boy do I like this person better!!). It solidifies my motivation - seeing the old me for what I really was, not what my denial selectively acknowledged.

I'm going camping this weekend - with just hubs and kids. He will have beer. The last time I drank camping, I immediately recognized how the wonderful of nature was drowned out by numbness. I will be happy to recognize every moment sober. These are the days when it starts getting harder for me, so I am prepared for it, and glad I will only have the tasks of smelling pine trees, making easy meals and sleeping if I want. I've been really tired lately - unfortunately work hasn't let up during this process.

SO I state to you all - I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR A SOBER LIFE, and for you all. JUST TODAY. :h

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Quick check in Friday Morning.

Wags - Excellent advice - "I used to drink when this happened..."

Mo3 - I was quite upset and angry that I couldn't be "normal." If you read about addiction you will see that it is not your fault - alcohol is addictive!! And some of us get addicted!! If you can accept the fact you'll be well on your way. I know it is not easy.

Kensho - Can you tell DH that you are to have NO beer under ANY circumstances? I always feel good when I know I have my husband on my side. I was dreading camping without alcohol and ended up so very happy to wake up feeling great, and to experience it 100% rather than half in the bag.

STL - Stupid stuff is where I find my motivation, too.

Ava - Keeping the kids in front of my mind is motivation as well.

Off to work. Plan for Friday? My kid is coming home from camp so we're going to his favorite Italian restaurant. NO drinking for me - I want to be there for all of the stories and to welcome him home with my full presence.

Pav

[whitemarshmom]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning everyone! AF Day 1 Whoot! I feel great, i have no sorrow, no regrets, i read books to and rubbed my little girls back as she fell asleep last night. I had a nice dream, and didnt get up in the middle of the night to raid the fridge and im not wondering what happened last night because.. I didnt drink.. As last night went by before bed, i tried to like i have seen many of you write.. be conscience of the way i was feeling.. it felt really good to be present for my kids.. The mental game is by far the toughest part, i did not struggle with cravings, i kept eating candy and slim jims, nutrition will come later.. but the mental part, how coniving and convincing AL can try and be, THAT is going to be by far the hardest part! We are scheduled to leave for a camping trip this Sunday, the last one before school starts, i have this perceived thing under my armpit, im not going to be able to get it checked til week after next. unless i schedule something for today, im really quite worried, and the AL helps keep those worries at bay also.. it only helps the way i FEEL and doesnt make the problem itself go away. I realize this....

Mom of 3- So glad to see you again, it is all about the head games as far as i have been able to tell so far, no real WD symptoms, nothing Glamorous about drinking just chug right out of the bottle, no bubble baths, just me and my little bottles, hiding in the bathroom, in my desk drawer

No Sugar and Byrd Thanks for the planning posts. I will be sure to come back here and post like crazy, if i consider buying. The camping trip could prove to be slippery for me, seems like a good time to say I'll quit when the kids start school. but theres no time like the present. me and DH dont get along and a week long trip together with the kids isnt going to change that AL free or not and i know he will be drinking .

Pav- Milshakes sound like a great deterrent, but i dont like the thickness of them, not too much into sweets, i can tolerate about half a snow ball, ive always been a salt person, but those peanut m&ms and coffee with lots of hazelnut creamer worked very well while i was at football practice, shoving them in my cheeks like a squirrel..must buy larger bag today at grocery store... What or Where is the Bubble Hour? I have seen alot of posts on it. Please tell me how to get it on my phone too

Sarah I have been watching you post and keep hoping that you too can get a day AF under your belt.. Jump in the, waters fine

[momofthree]

Newbies Nest

Everyone sounds like they have a plan for tonight and this weekend which is great, and it's really wonderful to hear all the support everyone is giving each other. It helps so much. I have to head out today and buy things I really don't need because I saw something on Pinterest I really want to make. Make sense? lol

[whitemarshmom]

Newbies Nest

AAAHHH. alone for the 1st time in a week! kids just went with the sitter who didnt show up on Monday or Tuesday, i had to take half days, had to take all day Weds off, Thursday had 2 extra kids over, football practice from 630-830 last night, every night and tonight too Yesterday was AF Day 1 for me! The temptation to run out while they are gone for some groceries is getting stronger each moment, because I know I can buy AL while they are gone, and not feel guilty about taking them into liquor store, so i have it for later..... i keep reading and reading I'm getting ready to go for a walk/run for distraction, then a shower....just smoked a cig and gagged. Yuck! No realy cravings, just the mental fight.. so much to do before camping trip.. must be available near my desk, must find some busy work to do

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

This post is a painful one to read. It is a "letter" from a man to his mom, an alcoholic who didn't recover. There is no parent on earth who would want one of their children ever to feel this way when they become adults. Maybe reading it will help some of the parents who currently are struggling realize that they are doing this for themselves, for their children, and for the adults their children someday will be. https://donblackwell.wordpress.com/2014/06/01/i-still-wonder/

[whitemarshmom]

Newbies Nest

sweating from my walk/run and crying my eyes out at the last post NS.. Shower time.. Keep reading keep posting, keep reading, keep posting, keep reading, keep posting. I would never want to ever ever have my child feel that way..EVER Thank you

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Very sad indeed. My wife put a "warning sign" posting on our fridge a year or so ago (that is still there) that said "What we do in moderation, our children do in excess" . My kids are under 10 so I am hoping that they don't really know the idiot I was/am. I recall growing up, however with all my favorite family gathering memories. My obnoxious drunk grandfather yelling vulgarities at the Christmas table. My uncles passed out on the couches on Thanksgiving before dinner even started. Every family wedding that included drunken family rages. Neighborhood parties when I watched the neighbors carry my wasted mom home countless times because she couldn't walk 2 steps. So on and so on. Did it impact me? Almost assuredly. Am I going to let my kids go down that path? I will do everything in my power to prevent that. We all should.


Children of Alcoholics

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

youre doing well WWM. you can do it.

[paulywogg]

Newbies Nest

NS,that was so sad,made me cry hard,thanks for sharing

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone. NS, powerful letter. Our drinking negatively affects our lives, but also the lives of all the other people around us. I can see a difference in the way my kids react to me when I am sober - they are more gleeful and seem to know that I am "all there" and choosing to truly connect with them.

As is how this has worked with me in the past, I am now craving "something". Not mentally, but physically. I can seem to go 2-3 days and feel fine, and now my body is starting to say... need a fix. I know I just have to get through it. I ate a huge lunch - so the next thing I could do is exercise (or eat sugar, which also makes me feel like crap) to change my biochemistry. But I think it's mostly a storm to be weathered. WHICH I WILL DO.

Packing now, and getting a container of something non-AL to carry with me constantly this weekend. I look forward to posting my Day5 on Sunday when I return.

Keep your eyes on the goal with me ICAN & WWM! Thanks, as always to the wise people here with such wise words.

I will not drink today, tomorrow or Sunday, NO MATTER WHAT. I AM GRATEFUL TO BE SOBER. :h

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters - Happy Sober Friday! Way to go WMM, Momo3, STL, Kensho, and everyone else! It sounds like everyone knows they need plans in place this weekend, many of which include staying close, reading and posting.

Yesterday, before my mom came to visit, I cleaned out my car prior to picking her up and found my daughter's missing Nalgene bottle that she'd wanted for a recent canoe trip. We couldn't find it before the trip and bought her another. It was about 1/3 full and when I opened it last night to wash it out, I was hit by a gust of straight gin. And so the Missing Water Bottle mystery was solved. When I was still drinking, I'd occasionally hide my AL in my kid's water bottle for road trips. Pretty sleazy.

I found this video clip last night of late night host Craig Fergusson. It's really good, funny, and easy to relate to - he talks about being an alcoholic and how he has managed to remain sober for 15 years. His secret: You've gotta find other people who can't drink either and talk to them regularly about it. So for those of you who are looking for something to keep you busy tonight, here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI-BhQGwDO8

Have a great sober Friday night everyone!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

GREAT posts and links today!
Hang in there for your 7 day MOON everyone! :moon:
They are so worth it!
Pepper, sticking with a community of people in the very same boat as I am has been my salvation!
Stay strong everyone! B