Newbies Nest

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

for instance, i was in the garden weeding and bam, massive craving. went into the house and washed the floor. it stopped the craving. yes, i still thought of al, but it was a low noise rather than a scream.

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Ican...don't do it.. you will likely regret it... it's pouring rain here. .my wife took my kids to the movies and all I can think about is grabbing a drink or 2 to pass the time...I'm not going to though...I had to go in a mini mart today to get a lotto ticket..1st time in almost 2 weeks..The Al aisle lights up me like the 4th of July so I immediately head there. .I torture myself for a few minutes then think of some of the great things I read here this week. ..I grab a flavored water, a York peppermint patty..get my lotto and get out...I take some kuzu, glutamine and b vitamins with my water and candy and feel better that I just avoided a close one...it is very hard but it can be done..stay at it

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Am I dopamine starved ? Well I thought it this morning. Was quite low this morning. Being low , irritating and basically in exited is basically how I can discribe myself since last few days.when good news come it does not exites me even things which I was looking up to. A very small bad news irritates me to core.

Now I was just wondering this morning am I getting depressed ? Maybe maybe not. This morning during the low moment I went to star bucks had a warm Americano and next few moments later I WS feeling better. That got me thinking. Caffeine!!

Then few days back I read a bit about people who have ADHD. I read about people are dopamine started and they run after anything that gives them pleasure (dopamine). Kids typically dont pay attention to whatever they dont find interesting butay hyper attention to interesting things (as they get dopamine). Video games, or what ever they find interesting makes them glued to it.

Maybe I am ADHD so I may have few traits of it or maybe not but one theory does explain my condition. Maybe I am dopamine starved or have always been. That's y I liked drinking it gave a constant d
Ow of it. Now that source not being there and brain receptors big damaged and hungry for more is looking for exitements which is not there.

Is this PAWS as some people call it. I read PAWS is an important stage of recovery where brain heals and it can last up to 2 years. Comes and goes.

Well no matter what it is I though maybe my brain needs dopamine and I must find a good source .... Excercise ?ever since recovery my amount of work out has gone down. I have been playing badminton but not anymore.

Maybe that's a good source ...

Any suggestions ?

[nezzaboy92]

Newbies Nest

Yeah I think that correlation between posting and success stories may work the other way round in some cases...when I fell off the wagon I was very reluctant to talk about it, and it looked unlikely that I'd post again. However, seeing some results, and all of a sudden I want to tell the world!

I am blessed in so many ways and alcohol keeps me from truly appreciating them.

I was born a (relatively) clever young boy into a well-off family. My father has been incredibly successful, and generous to match. My friends are like my family, in the sense that there's a lot of us, in a big age range, who are always looking out for each other. They like to party, but when they see somebody getting out of control, like me and another friend were with ketamine years ago, or like me with the alcohol more recently, they step in and make it clear that there will be consequences if we don't screw our heads back on.

I have a girlfriend, who I met almost a year ago, during a time of incredible alcoholic dysfunction. After she'd known me a few weeks, I explained her the reasoning behind my constant drinking and how it was next to impossible to 'just quit'. This girl, who barely knew me from Adam, let me sweat, retch, fit, make messes in her bed just so she could keep an eye on me. She brought me a beer when I was absolutely in need, and endeavoured to feed me three times a day, even though it would largely come back up through my ravaged stomach. (The Nigerian people make amazing cuisine, but it really has to be eaten when you're going to keep it down, the spices feel like they'll melt your face) She rendezvoued with a shady friend of mine to get Valium. I type this, as I type a lot of things on this forum, simply to get my feelings off my chest in a form I can read back. I'm still with this beautiful, caring girl, and when sober I endeavor to make it up to her: dinner, shows, clubs (we're only young uns!) and I've no doubt in my mind that one of my friends would've done the same.

I've been given advantages like you wouldn't believe, and it's only when I'm sober that I gain the perspective to start making the most of them before they're gone.

Thanks to anyone who read this drivel, and thanks to everyone here for their support.

Peace x

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

http://www.hamsnetwork.org/dopamine.pdf rahul, you may find this interesting, and excercise is great for a natural high.

nezza, its not drivel. it does sound like you have a great support network, maybe you have taken it for granted, i hope not and if not, dont!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Lost the great thing about stopping drinking is you will like yourself again, you actually will learn to love the new you that you are becoming. A loss of a relationship is hard and worse if there is anger, hurt and resentment but no amount of al will make it better. What will make it better is getting yourself well.

Hi Rahul so glad you checked in. I went through a bad funk last week, i was jealous as others drank and were drinking and i couldnt. Well of course i could have but i didnt want to. I finally after 8 months decided to start walking and it has made me more settled, to get those endorphins going was a bonus. I was having a right old "pity party" for one but you know what? Only I could get myself out of the funk with help from my MWO buddies and talking it through. I had PAWS for sure and its hard to understand after all this time of sobriety. I should be happy and i am but i wasnt but now i am again. i do know i would not have been happy if i drank and i didnt want to drink, i just wanted the happy content me back.

Nezza its not dribble what you say, we all have different stories to tell and each one is unique but with the same content involved and that is al. If you are young now your life will only get worse by drinking. A lot of mwoers are in their 50's and we all wish we had stopped drinking or realising we had a problem when we were much younger. We cannot take back the past but we can make the most of the future. i know without al in my life that my future is looking pretty damn good. I only told my children when i stopped drinking as i was afraid of telling everyone else in case i failed but they were a wealth of support to me which kept me from not drinking. Now that i am months along if someone asks why i dont drink and i think they feel comfortable with being told i am an alcoholic i will tell them otherwise i find an excuse, like i am on antibiotics or getting healthy. Keep on here you will never be sorry.

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Just checking in - broken my duck tonight. Happy with 5 weeks and tonight is actually very chilled. Gonna get right back on track tomorrow.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE, all:

Rahul - It could be PAWS. Also, so I have heard, your brain's dopamine receptors essentially plug themselves up when you are active in addiction because there is so much swirling around it gets overwhelming. When you quit it can take up to a year for them to get healthy again (information from the Bubble Hour with Dr. John Kelly as a guest - highly recommend). Exercise ALWAYS helps me feel better. Put on the shoes for a walk and see how far you get?

I am feeling a bit blah right now - quick to snap and agitated. I have read enough about PAWS to consider that must be it, and to come here and post. I don't feel like drinking, I just want to get it out there so that I DON'T feel like drinking.

Ican - I hope you didn't drink. Maybe spend some time reading your old posts of how good you felt when you weren't drinking? Make a list of all that you will give up if you continue to drink and how much you will gain if (when) you stop?

Ava - Good to hear you're better. I'll be better again, too.

STL - Maybe not more lottery tickets for a while? Attending a movie seems like a good way to stay out of trouble - maybe you can take the kids next time?? Good on you for staying strong (I love a good York patty!).

Roxy - Yep. Wanted to sit myself on a shelf, too.

Off for dinner with friends. It is close enough that I can walk home if this mood continues. I hope it will help snap me out of it.

WMM and Lost - This is definitely hard work, and addiction can't be fixed by willpower alone. What are your concrete plans to stay sober? Don't be afraid they won't work - make them strong enough that they will. There is certainly plenty of advice here about what to do. Write them down here to solidify them in your mind, maybe?

Happy Sober Saturday,
Pav

[available]

Newbies Nest

London the pretty chilled feeling will soon turn to arctic temperatures if you let al into your life.

Pav, its frustrating to get so far and then have a funk but the positive is is that we dont want to drink, there is no huge urge/craving that will entice us. I was horrible last week, i wanted to commit murder on anyone really and i could feel myself being nasty and thats not me. It did last 5 days but now it is gone. Its nice to know that a quit buddy (you) has these feelings as they are very intense when they hit and after feeling so normal its like being hit with a brick. I know i wanted to drink at tyes party with tyes friends but i knew that i couldnt and thank god for tye telling everyone that i was an alcoholic and could not drink. I hated him too lol.

You had me thinking about me cancelling my meet up with my sister in law in the early days so i could protect my quit. I still havent seen her ha ha but i do know that if i do i wont drink.

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Yo Nesters!

It is a beautiful, if crisp, cool, sunny winters morning in Oz. Exercise is a well known and documented anti-depressant Rahul.

Keep it going Nezza!

Take care and be gentle on yourself Lost soul.

Absolutely sensational achievements Pie and Welcome Wagon wheel!

Take it easy out there y'all. Passing the extra strength butt velcro to the left.

G bloke.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Rahul,Ava and Pav, mercifully, those flat spots are only temporary! You are so right, it is disappointing to come so far and then to hit that spot and everything seems to come to a halt. Like someone said earlier, fake it til you make it, a bad day sober is 1000 times better than the guilt, shame and remorse of being a slave to AL, as you know. It is so good that you have each other to depend on! I just thought I was a freak! Coming out the other side will make it all worth it

Londoner, I am so sorry that AL won. I HATE AL.
Lost, thank you for checking in!
Nezz, Hope you are hanging in! Byrdie

[Pie]

Newbies Nest

My 30-Day "Speech"

Please accept a huge Thank You from me to one and all for your congratulations and encouragement! This Nest is like no place else on Earth when it comes to support and wisdom from lovely people.

I don't post a whole lot, but am a voracious reader of these forums, so that's what I started out doing at the end of June. That and taking copious notes, and following up on suggestions. For example, everything I learned about preparing for detox came from here, as did the info I used to decide upon taking Antabuse as a quit aid.

Reading Jason Vale's book was a suggestion I took to heart, and it paid off in terms of finally helping me to see that what I perceived as alcohol's benefits, were just illusions. This was key for me, because it lead to viewing my quit as a gift, rather than deprivation. I started a journal of sorts, that anyone is welcome to read for more info on my journey.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ged-93614.html

Paraphrasing from another poster, quitting doesn't have to suck. I am happy and empowered, not depressed and powerless.

Thanks again, everybody! And way to go to you Wags on your 100 day milestone!!

Love,
Pie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Pie, developing a real sense of gratitude helped me from falling back into the self-pity pit where I had existed for too many years. Being truly grateful for everything & every day sober does wonders

Welcome back to those just returning. The nest is a safe place to get started again - stivk around.

Ican, you can wash your brain with the MWO hypno CDs. I used them daily for a good year or more & they did the job. Any sort of meditation would be helpful I think

Rahul, exercise is a good idea - give it a try!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Hey!!!! Where is everyone??

Have a wonderful AF Sunday everyone

Lav

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lav - I was wondering the same thing. Not much has happened since I went to bed last night other than you asking that question! Ever see The Day After Tomorrow? Perhaps Pennsylvania and Minnesota are all that's left on the grid.... would be a boring nest for you, Lav, as I'm not very entertaining....

Ican and WMM I hope you hung in there.

Belated congrats to Wags - I remember when you first started and knew you had it in you!

Pie, while I've loved every milestone, 30 days was an amazing feeling - the next best will be 60!

Ava is that new avatar NOT an avatar? You and your kids??

Welcome to Nezza, welcome back Lost, and anyone I've missed. I hope you're all waking up bright eyed and bushes-tailed!