Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Little Beagle, great way to look at the quit. Something to be cared for, disciplined, nurtured - and so close to us - part of us. Something we would never think of abusing. Something we only want the best for!

Day 6 was hard. BYRDIE, I am a cursing woman at times, and I did today. But I made it past, even with a husband still offering "tastings". We really need to have a heart to heart. Not sure why he's doing it. But HEY, I'm still sober. And I'm only 1294 days behind you Thanks for sharing your post. Even someone as strong as you had a rough Day 6.

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

Evening all,

Just walked in the door from a long, tiring day. I actually couldn't gather enough energy to complete a task at work, ended up leaving early and went straight to an AA meeting. There we learned of Robin Williams death. So tragic. This disease is relentless.

Speaking of AA, I am still on the fence about the program, I don't feel as though I am connecting to the people I am meeting and still pretty shy and uncomfortable with the reality of admitting out loud (not behind a computer) that I am an alcoholic. I can type it but standing in front of a room of strangers, already ridden with anxiety, is just dreadful, so I choose to sit on the sidelines and observe and listen and learn.

Does anyone have any experiences with AA or is currently in the program? The people that go swear you can't stay sober unless you have a sponsor and complete the 12 steps. I'm not convinced yet. I like MWO but I know I can have both, I am dedicated to killing the beast once and for all.

My relationships don't work because I haven't broken up with AL, I am 100% aware of this fact. So until I am comfortable severing ties, I will never be able to love anyone else or myself for that matter.

Available - you are so right about drinking and anxiety, I cannot wait until I have a few weeks under my belt because the knots in my stomach are tugging at me. I know it will get better though.
Kensho - thank you for sharing so openly, I can relate to almost every item on your list.
See the Light - I appreciate your encouragement

Everyone else, congrats on another sober day! You are all motivating in your own way. I am eternally grateful for this community.

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

LB - I love your post about caring for your daughter and nurturing her through to adulthood, and then the comparison to your quit. It's touching to hear your story, and I also love the analogy - thanks for sharing this.

Nar - Thanks for the congrats and welcome back from your trip. So happy to hear you had a great AF time.

LostSoul - I haven't explored AA, but I looked into SMART recovery - they have in-person meetings/groups as well as online ones (you all login and chat at the same time). It seemed ok, but ultimately I've just been hanging out here. I found a few threads that really resonate with me and where I feel like I belong to the group, and this has become my AA so to speak.

Rivergal and Lulu - Welcome! Very glad to have you here. I don't know much about TSM or Naltrexone as it is used with this method, but I believe I've seen a few threads on MWO where this is discussed.


So very sad about Robin Williams. I normally don't get shaken up or upset about celebrity deaths, but this one hits home for several reasons.

Seems like there have been a lot of sad things happening today. Hang on tight everyone so we can all get through these rough patches.

:groupluv:

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Everyone,

LB - a wonderful post! That's the thing about this - work for life.

Lulu - Welcome.

Kensho - Yes, you need a heart to heart! I hope he stops offering...

LostSoul - I haven't been to AA but I know they have many different types of meetings and sometimes you have to look around to find the one that is right for you.

So sad about Robin Williams.

Stay strong nest! Ask for help if you need it.

Pav

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

j-vo - Read your post about your plan in the other thread. It sounds solid and positive. Be sure to ask for help if you need it. Glad you'll be here in the nest getting your legs back underneath you.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone! Well I thought I'd make a return after several weeks in hiatus. Since I completed the marathon, I've taken a few weeks rest. I've done some running, but not much.

I've also been moderately drinking. Nothing too bad. I haven't experienced the depression as I have previously. But I don't want to keep doing it. I know I was in a much happier place when I didn't drink for weeks at a time. For me, drinking, even moderately is making me lazy and unmotivated. I really want running to be an important and consistent component of my life. I also want to maximise my health. My diet is good, but I want it better. And alcohol, has no place at all in that healthy plan. I've seen people in my own life experience ill health, one is near death, primarily because of unhealthy life choices, including alcohol.

So here I am at day 1 again.

And a huge thank you to Ava, for being such a wonderful friend. As she told you all, we met for lunch a few weeks ago. It was a wonderful time. Very special. She is a very genuine and committed person in real life as she is on this forum. :thanks:

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters, Hope everyone has a great AL free day. Had a nasty virus and have been sicker than a dog the last few days. Whew! Glad that is over. Couldn't even read, only post my days. They rack up quickly. Jonesing for that 90 mark.

Funny how if I don't read my alcoholic brain starts trying to seduce me into thinking AL wasn't so bad. I just shake my head Like a dog shaking off water and tell it too shut the f@#$! up. Are You crazy, you asshole brain? Remember this and remember that because I sure do. Back in your cage, beast.

The husband wants to start camping with the extended family. I really don't, everyone drinks the whole time. I feel guilty if I say no, because why should my problem ruin everyone else's fun. But I know I will be absolutely miserable the whole time. It's late nights of drunken so called fun to anyone who is drinking and a lame-ASS circus show to those that aren't. I'm not sure what I am going to do. Hoping the husband forgets about it because I already have enough guilt to start my own religion. I really don't want another brick on the pile.

[momofthree]

Newbies Nest

Morning everyone! Had a very stressful day yesterday with the kids and was seriously wanting a drink, it's all I could think about for hours till my husband came home how a drink would take my stress away. Yah right, it would make the fighting between them worse for me, the crying would seem louder and I would just get more irritable. I'm happy those thoughts have finally begun to happen in my way of thinking because that would have never happened before if I didn't have this many days notched on the headboard. Today is a new day, I have plans of being another AF one as well. I bought a very old 95 year old wooden door with the real antique glass knobs which I am going to start to repurpose today. I got it for a steal and I cant wait to see it take shape to something else. This is how I escape and work on things. It's a great outlet to have a hobby like this, and sometimes I even make some money on the side as well if people want to buy my work. Does anyone else do anything that they really enjoy?

[momofthree]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer;1692439 wrote: Funny how if I don't read my alcoholic brain starts trying to seduce me into thinking AL wasn't so bad. I just shake my head Like a dog shaking off water and tell it too shut the f@#$! up. Are You crazy, you asshole brain? Remember this and remember that because I sure do. Back in your cage, beast.

Mine was doing that very same thing last week, turning into a wine commercial, glamorizing it and we both know its nothing like that at all. :l

[frances]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer, Momofthree - my brain does that too and that is exactly why I log on here daily and read read read. It truly keeps me anchored in the reality about where I came from and why I am here.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Staying connected here keeps those thoughts down to a minimum.
Robin Williams is legendary. How sad we lost him.

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning friends,

Rivergal and Lulu, welcome back!

Cherokeer, I would follow your intuition. That doesn't sound fun at all. Let's face reality, when people get together for the sole reason of getting drunk it doesn't matter who is there. That is why bars are packed with strangers all having "deep nonsense" conversations right up until closing time! I wouldn't go, it sounds obnoxious. AF camping is so much better.

Petrelhead, your health is a wonderful reason to live AF. Probably the best reason! We don't have to end up living in a cardboard box to deserve freedom from alcohol. The time we are ready is the right time.

I have another beautiful day off with my daughter and our silly puppy. Hours of pretend play, catching toads and running around, as well as the daily hustle of meals and cleaning (not so much cleaning, truth be told!). There is no way I could enjoy that like I should with al in my life! Have a great AF day!

[giraffe1234]

Newbies Nest

Hey J-vo - looked you up here, thinking of you and sending positive thoughts.
You have been and still are an inspiration to me.
xox

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Welcome back Rivergal & Lulu!

Chero, other people just don't get it, do they?
Regardless, protect your quit & don't let anyone guilt you into drinking. This is not high school, peer pressure is just bullshit. Stick to your guns & your plan & get those 90 days in

Petrel, glad you reconsidered

Momo3, staying busy is the best way to keep ourselves out of trouble. I have lots of distractions going in here including a flock of 27 hens, three grandkids, my home based business, veggie & flower gardens, exercise & more!!! Have fun reworking your door!

Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Morning! It's a beautiful day here. Going to spend it getting kiddos ready for school and catching up on work. Feeling overwhelmed, but I slept so well that I feel rejuvinated. Hoping today is less on the craving scale. The mental and emotional work is hard at times - I still have fear of what not drinking will do to some of my relationships. But one thing at a time, one day at a time.

I will not drink today, NO MATTER WHAT. I am so very grateful to be sober, and I will focus on that, just today. :h