Newbies Nest
Chero,
This is a great post.
I hope you won't mind if we dissect this....like diagramming a sentence! I took course once on 'reading between the lines' where someone who broke the law was asked to write out what happened. It is amazing once you start looking at it, what you are able to deduce from their words.
In your post, I see a number of things that cause me to say something. I can't tell you the number of people I have seen fall because of these dam camping trips....so I did a search on our site here and there is page after page of people WITH THE BEST INTENTIONS getting sucked in to drinking on one of these trips....there are 10 posts per page and COUNTLESS pages. I think I have only seen 2 people survive a camping trip like you describe.
I have bolded a couple things above.
Being without your support makes Dick Head active. Unless your camping includes free wifi, you will be without your support strength for this outing.
You say that your husband wants to START this tradition...if it isn't a tradition yet, sit him down and talk to him about this. Men aren't mind readers on a good day (sorry, guys!)...and when it comes to THIS, they are really clueless. It is up to US to tell THEM what they need to do to help us be successful. Remember MY hubs gave me an ultimatum, him or AL, yet he STILL offered me booze after I quit!!!! WHY? They just want us to be fixed. They don't understand what addiction is about....that's where YOU come in. You gotta tell them that you are likely to say that having just ONE glass is ok...but it is not. Tell him it's just like on tv, where the addict gets a fix and one drink will lead you to relapse. I am a salesperson by trade, and I know if I talked long enough to my hubs I could convince him I'd be ok to have one every now and then...so I've told him to NEVER believe those words coming from me. Now when we are out and about, he helps me...he's got my back. When people start pressuring me to have just one, I see the concern in his face. I'm able to fend them off, but he doesn't like seeing that happen to me. We usually leave shortly after. As a sober person, why would I want to immerse myself in a group who is doing something that I cannot safely do? I also would not go rock climbing...I'm afraid of heights! I don't go to an all you can eat buffet if I'm trying to drop a few pounds. I certainly wouldn't go on a camping trip when I knew it was going to be a pressure-filled booze fest. If hubs wants to go camping, maybe you and HE can go?
Finally, HOPE is not a strategy. Hoping that hubs will forget about is nice and all that, but probably not likely. I found out early on that hoping this would go away just didn't happen. I had to PLAN my way thru all of these things. I am old enough now that I just am not going to participate in things that will derail my quit. I don't hang out in bars. I don't throw wine tastings. I don't hang out with heavy drinkers....I CAN'T! As LiL Beagle so eloquently stated (please put that post in the Tool Box), this quit is my baby....and I've got her back. I will protect it the very best of my ability. I do what I have to do to keep it intact. My quit is my #1 priority.
Sit down with your husband and explain your situation. Better yet, do a search on this forum like I did and you will see how many times this has played out. Most people get pressured into drinking. ALL of them regret it.
Hope everyone has an easy day! Kensho, I found that I never had 2 hard days in a row, so hopefully, your day today will be easier! Maybe this will help!
:moon:
Congratulations on 7 days!!! GREAT JOB!!! Keep your streak going and shine on! The worst is behind you!!!
Byrdie
Cherokeer;1692439 wrote: Morning Nesters, Hope everyone has a great AL free day. Had a nasty virus and have been sicker than a dog the last few days. Whew! Glad that is over. Couldn't even read, only post my days. They rack up quickly. 
Jonesing for that 90 mark.
Funny how if I don't read my alcoholic brain starts trying to seduce me into thinking AL wasn't so bad. I just shake my head Like a dog shaking off water and tell it too shut the f@#$! up. Are You crazy, you asshole brain? Remember this and remember that because I sure do. Back in your cage, beast.
The husband wants to start camping with the extended family. I really don't, everyone drinks the whole time. I feel guilty if I say no, because why should my problem ruin everyone else's fun. But I know I will be absolutely miserable the whole time. It's late nights of drunken so called fun to anyone who is drinking and a lame-ASS circus show to those that aren't. I'm not sure what I am going to do. Hoping the husband forgets about it because I already have enough guilt to start my own religion. I really don't want another brick on the pile.
Jonesing for that 90 mark.Funny how if I don't read my alcoholic brain starts trying to seduce me into thinking AL wasn't so bad. I just shake my head Like a dog shaking off water and tell it too shut the f@#$! up. Are You crazy, you asshole brain? Remember this and remember that because I sure do. Back in your cage, beast.
The husband wants to start camping with the extended family. I really don't, everyone drinks the whole time. I feel guilty if I say no, because why should my problem ruin everyone else's fun. But I know I will be absolutely miserable the whole time. It's late nights of drunken so called fun to anyone who is drinking and a lame-ASS circus show to those that aren't. I'm not sure what I am going to do. Hoping the husband forgets about it because I already have enough guilt to start my own religion. I really don't want another brick on the pile.
This is a great post.
I hope you won't mind if we dissect this....like diagramming a sentence! I took course once on 'reading between the lines' where someone who broke the law was asked to write out what happened. It is amazing once you start looking at it, what you are able to deduce from their words.
In your post, I see a number of things that cause me to say something. I can't tell you the number of people I have seen fall because of these dam camping trips....so I did a search on our site here and there is page after page of people WITH THE BEST INTENTIONS getting sucked in to drinking on one of these trips....there are 10 posts per page and COUNTLESS pages. I think I have only seen 2 people survive a camping trip like you describe.
I have bolded a couple things above.
Being without your support makes Dick Head active. Unless your camping includes free wifi, you will be without your support strength for this outing.
You say that your husband wants to START this tradition...if it isn't a tradition yet, sit him down and talk to him about this. Men aren't mind readers on a good day (sorry, guys!)...and when it comes to THIS, they are really clueless. It is up to US to tell THEM what they need to do to help us be successful. Remember MY hubs gave me an ultimatum, him or AL, yet he STILL offered me booze after I quit!!!! WHY? They just want us to be fixed. They don't understand what addiction is about....that's where YOU come in. You gotta tell them that you are likely to say that having just ONE glass is ok...but it is not. Tell him it's just like on tv, where the addict gets a fix and one drink will lead you to relapse. I am a salesperson by trade, and I know if I talked long enough to my hubs I could convince him I'd be ok to have one every now and then...so I've told him to NEVER believe those words coming from me. Now when we are out and about, he helps me...he's got my back. When people start pressuring me to have just one, I see the concern in his face. I'm able to fend them off, but he doesn't like seeing that happen to me. We usually leave shortly after. As a sober person, why would I want to immerse myself in a group who is doing something that I cannot safely do? I also would not go rock climbing...I'm afraid of heights! I don't go to an all you can eat buffet if I'm trying to drop a few pounds. I certainly wouldn't go on a camping trip when I knew it was going to be a pressure-filled booze fest. If hubs wants to go camping, maybe you and HE can go?
Finally, HOPE is not a strategy. Hoping that hubs will forget about is nice and all that, but probably not likely. I found out early on that hoping this would go away just didn't happen. I had to PLAN my way thru all of these things. I am old enough now that I just am not going to participate in things that will derail my quit. I don't hang out in bars. I don't throw wine tastings. I don't hang out with heavy drinkers....I CAN'T! As LiL Beagle so eloquently stated (please put that post in the Tool Box), this quit is my baby....and I've got her back. I will protect it the very best of my ability. I do what I have to do to keep it intact. My quit is my #1 priority.
Sit down with your husband and explain your situation. Better yet, do a search on this forum like I did and you will see how many times this has played out. Most people get pressured into drinking. ALL of them regret it.
Hope everyone has an easy day! Kensho, I found that I never had 2 hard days in a row, so hopefully, your day today will be easier! Maybe this will help!
:moon:
Congratulations on 7 days!!! GREAT JOB!!! Keep your streak going and shine on! The worst is behind you!!!
Byrdie
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