Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

A SIDE NOTE: I cringed tonight putting my lovely, smiling daughter to bed. I had a flash back of being nasty and impatient with her - that she would not go right to bed, as I was drunk and tired and irritable. On many occasions. My baby girl is almost 5 and she just wanted her mom. Some reassurance that monsters weren't coming. And I was one. I will always regret that I couldn't just give her the kindness she needed before bed. Now, though she can manipulate and delay bedtime with the best if them, I am able to be the grown up and discern when tough love is necessary, and when just plain love is in order. I can see and sense that her needs are being met now more than ever in her life and that's worth the world to me. I've always wanted to be a great mom; I am shaping lives for God sakes. Children are in the palms of our hands as parents, and we have a responsibility to be present and good examples for them to learn from. I can do that now, and it shows in their brighter faces and gigglier giggles.

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

*pokes head in* So, I just discovered these forums over the weekend and just joined the other day. I didn't want to announce myself in here until I was sure I was committed to being AF. But I'm AF tonight and will be starting my first full day AF tomorrow! Also cutting out soda since the two are very linked for me.

Not what else to say, actually - I'm horrible at rambling when I try to introduce myself. I'm 30, female, own a wonderful dog and a few awesome cats. Also a very aged chinchilla. When I was younger I drank a lot "for fun" and then slowed down when I started getting scared. Then I had some very bad things happen in my mid 20's and drank to the point of *seriously* scaring myself - was diagnosed with pancreatitis and went AF...for a few months. Gradually started drinking again, quietly, until it's gotten back to an all day everyday thing. 16 units a day average. I've been tapering off since the weekend but I should be safe to start now.

Other than that, hi everyone and congrats to everyone here. That probably sounds weird for my first post, but it's not my first time quitting; I know it's not easy at all. I feel like I'm in it for good this time though, and I know that reading and posting here has already helped me very very much!

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Lavender, glad to see you here.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lavender, glad to see you. Keep on here and keep reading, lots of wonderful people with the same goal of being af and lots of success.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters & Happy Hump day!

Hello & welcome to LavenderBlue. We'll have to nickname you Lav2
Glad you are here with us! Be sure to take a look thru the Tool box for lots of ideas to help you put your plan together. Stay in touch daily - really helps!

Greetings Chero, Kensho, Ava & everyone. Have a great AF Wednesday one & all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
Great posts overnight! Kensho, Cherokeer, and the shortest post I've ever seen from Available! (puts hand to her forehead to check temperature). AL is a very selfish lover...he wants ALL of us and when we try to share with someone else, HE lashes out and makes us defensive and irritable. I know there is a lot we miss about him, but the rewards of cutting loose that asswipe (apologies to the easily offended) are much greater. You can't even put a measuring stick to it...happiness, mindpeace, health.....

Welcome LavBlue! I was reading your story on the other thread and I'm so glad you poked your head in our door. If you have quit before, you know it takes support and you won't find any better than right here. We are so glad you joined us! Day 1 will be in the history books before you know it! Keep reading and posting....I have been thru our Tool Box more times than I can count, but I still find things that I have never seen before and they are all good! Settle in and make yourself comfy!

Hope everyone has an easy hump day! Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Hi All. Welcome LAV2. Feeling under the weather this morning - not sure if its something I ate or a virus. Used to hate stomach stuff because I couldn't drink, then I would love it because I made it a day AF. I played yesterday and will pay today with wayyyyy too much to do, so on with it.

I will not drink today, NO MATTER WHAT. Grateful to be sober.

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

Welcome LavenderBlue / Lav2,
So happy you found us-- you are in a safe place now.
One day at a time, you can do this!
Feel free to PM me, I am also female, early thirties with two puppies and just starting out again after a few months of drinking. On Day 5, not easy but definitely worth it.
Have a wonderful AF day everyone!

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

LavBlue/Lav2 - Glad to see you jump in the nest. This is a great supportive place. Congrats on an AF night continuing into an AF day. You can do this!

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

KENSHO;1692742 wrote: A SIDE NOTE: I cringed tonight putting my lovely, smiling daughter to bed. I had a flash back of being nasty and impatient with her - that she would not go right to bed, as I was drunk and tired and irritable. On many occasions. My baby girl is almost 5 and she just wanted her mom. Some reassurance that monsters weren't coming. And I was one. I will always regret that I couldn't just give her the kindness she needed before bed. Now, though she can manipulate and delay bedtime with the best if them, I am able to be the grown up and discern when tough love is necessary, and when just plain love is in order. I can see and sense that her needs are being met now more than ever in her life and that's worth the world to me. I've always wanted to be a great mom; I am shaping lives for God sakes. Children are in the palms of our hands as parents, and we have a responsibility to be present and good examples for them to learn from. I can do that now, and it shows in their brighter faces and gigglier giggles.

To me, this is the most rewarding of being AF. Beautiful post. And my avatar was something that represented, to me, that we can all do this together - get out of the grips of Al. Connecting with others all over the world and gaining and maintaining sobriety together.

Welcome Lav2. Pancreatitis can be a dangerous illness. My dad had it from drinking. I'm glad you're here to get sober and get healthy. Lots of success stories on this board.

Have a great day!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesties!

Just checking in to see how everyone is doing...it will take me a while to read back. Welcome to all the Newbies, and a big hello to the Old-bies :H

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Positive language rather than negative

Nesters - I was thinking about a sport psychology book I read a while back, and I realized that there was a really good nugget in there that might be useful here. I don't know if the psychological premise is valid, but I like it and thought I'd offer it up in case it resonated with anyone else.

The idea is, "You get more of what you focus on."

In a nutshell, if you focus on fighting the urge to drink, that's what you'll get more of - urges and fights. If you focus on enjoying and appreciating and benefiting from being AF, that's what you'll get more of as well.

I think this has really worked for me. Over the past 104 days I've had very few urges to drink or even thoughts about it, even when badly triggered by sad or challenging events. This is in sharp contrast to the high daily consumption level I was at before. During my 104 days (and counting), I have focused mainly on what I'm able to do AF that I couldn't before, how much better I feel, how much nicer/sharper/more alive I seem to be, what I want to do later (so don't drink now), etc.

I don't know for sure, but in my experience I really believe I have gotten more of what I've focused on. Has anyone else noticed this in their lives?

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hi Friends,

K9, good to see you!

Wagmore, I think you hit upon a real truth there. I don't feel like I'm "not drinking" (although I'm not ). I feel like I'm living AF life. Psychologically, the two couldn't be further apart. I don't feel one bit deprived. Drinking is what was truly depriving me of living the kind of life I should have been.

Kensho, I agree 100% as a parent of a small child. This is the only way to do it.

Lav2, Cherokeer, LostSoul, Ava, great to see you today.

Have a great AF day!

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

MAE! Enjoying an AF day. Hubs called just to say 'hi'. I do believe he is enjoying my AF personality more than my previously distracted and grumpy self. Like that!

Love your thinking Pinecone! I totally agree. I have stopped in the middle of a big craving and made myself list the things that were better without AL, and all of a sudden drinking made no sense and I felt more peace.

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

Wow, thanks everyone for such a warm greeting! Will take a bit to pick through and read it all but I wanted you to know that 7 minutes ago was 24 hours since my last drink. I'm not quite sure anymore how long it's been since I could say that; but I made it! YAY!!!! o/