Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

YAY L2!!!!
Go you! Go you! GO you!
:yougo::yougo::yougo:

K9, great to see you!
Pinecone, golden words, those.
Daisy, where are you!? Here is the butt velcro!
Have a great night, nesters! B

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

I definitely agree that it's been better for me this time seeing AF as something I want to do for me instead of something I have to stop doing. I can only think it was reading the boards here that helped me get into that mindset because I never really thought of it like that before. It's a new thought to have, a new way of thinking. So not saying it's easy to remember to think that way, just that thinking helps?

Couldn't sleep last night and downloaded "Drinking, A Love Story" to my Kindle - again, saw the title tossed around on here and thought I'd check it out. That gave me a *lot* to think about and I think I'll need more than one read. I always saw myself as "kind of a heavy drinker" who only really started having trouble in my mid 20s...but the more I look over my past and the way I've related to AL, the more I'm thinking the seeds were always there. It's sobering (no pun intended). I'm looking back on a lot of things in my life now and realizing I never really was a normal drinker even when it seemed that way form my actions. On the inside...I really never was. And I'd never thought about *that* before either.

Anyway, think I'm going to be cleaning tonight and reading more on the forums here. I still need to dig into the Tool Box more. And thanks again. I probably sound like a broken record here but all of the shared stories and advice and support are making this so much different than it was. And I'd been so scared about what I was going to do about my drinking just last week.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Wags I too look at this as a chance to live. To be free.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Lav2, oddly enough, I was thinking this morning as I was lying in bed "When did my problem start?" Of course, The propensity was always there, but when I got this job in 1988. I was the first female this company had ever hired in a sales position. It was a high pressure cooker of a job and I would dare to say by 1990, i knew I had 'an issue' with AL. Thats when I started PRELOADING for night events, and drinking daily. Company events were/are an AL free for all. I imagine a very high percentage of us now have AL problems. It was a culture of hard working, hard driving, hard drinking salespeople. So mine was a long time brewing, but I finally got in recovery mode. So happy you are with us!
Lost Soul, so happy to see you !!! Xo, B

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys, hi Byrdie!
I came home early from work today....I am so tired and full of anxiety and my entire body is aching. Feeling super brain fogged and depressed. This too shall pass. In the meantime, I think I need to take something for my anxiety. I have xanex but not sure if I should take it. Ugh, I am documenting this feeling so I don't ever forget how crappy it can be to hit the reset button again.
Thanks for listening.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good luck lost. Get some rest, thats what your body is screaming for.....well, that and one other thing... Its no wonder you have civil unrest in your head. That part of your brain is expecting its fix and you aren't providing it. Its pissed off! So be it. Time fixes a lot of things and this is one of them. Stick with it and those voices will quiet down. Byrdie

[available]

Newbies Nest

Lavender, i was on here 24/7 when i stopped drinking, i figured if i put half the effort i put into planning my drinking in planning giving up, i was on a win win situation. Keep reading and posting and watching docos on you tube. sleep when you are tired and let sugar be your best friend for awhile. Once you accept you are an alcoholic half the battle is over, being accountable and stop lying to yourself.

[Pie]

Newbies Nest

Pinecone;1692934 wrote:
I don't feel like I'm "not drinking" (although I'm not ). I feel like I'm living AF life. Psychologically, the two couldn't be further apart. I don't feel one bit deprived. Drinking is what was truly depriving me of living the kind of life I should have been.

Same here, Pinecone! And I hope this feeling never leaves me!

Pie

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Happy evening! I made it through an interview fogged as heck. My brain seemed to be on break, but I got the job. Great, but then I had quite the overwhelmed, anxious aftermath. I found myself dearly wanting a glass of wine while driving home. Couldn't stop thinking about it - for 60 minutes and a lot of road construction. Yes, I was tired and hungry (two of the HALT no-no's), but I realized it was also a dire desire to quiet the slight panic I felt from getting yet more work and feeling overwhelmed - that feeling of exhaustion, but tons of work still to do. I just wanted to escape.

I ate an emergency bar I had in my car and asked myself what AL would actually solve (not much except for about 10 minutes of calm before the regret started). I never had retrospect before when I had this feeling - and I had the feeling a LOT at the end of a hard day, coming home to do yet more work with kids and dinner and laundry... SO I took a few deep breaths, made it home and stuffed my face.

I am now feeling glad to be sober, and am acutely aware of two things: I need to research relaxation practices and I need to hire some help.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It is a privilege & blessing to be AF! I never feel deprived only grateful
I spent 9 hrs today watching my 3 & 5 yr old grandsons. No way in hell could I do that if I was hung over :H

K9, there you are
Catch up & strap yourself in, OK?

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. Hang on, the discomforts you feel now will soon turn into true blessings

Lav

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Cross post Kensho - CONGRATS on the new job & thinking the AL thoughts all the way through

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

LavBlue - I just posted on your thread, but huge congrats on getting your Day One!!! Onward and upward!

I just finished reading "Drinking: A Love Story" a week or so ago. Some parts really resonated with me as well. There are a lot of good thoughts and reflections woven throughout, especially in the last few chapters (once she begins recovery). Let us know what you think as you dig in deeper.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone & Happy Thursday

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Thursday!

Lav

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Lav.
Good to see you k-9

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, All!
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work I go....
Hope everyone has a great AF Thursday!! Strap in everyone! Byrdie

Edit to add:
I was just checking facebook. One of my cousin's friend's son's brother (who is about 24) made this comment....

"Some people think that they can say whatever they want to when they are not in their right mind, but act like it didn't even happen the next day.... some people are so fake!"

Wow...what people DON'T understand about AL abuse!! We aren't ACTING like it never even happened, we truly don't REMEMBER what happened! We aren't faking anything except trying to remember!
Reason #452 NOT to drink: Remembering what I said last night at that party.