Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Morning (for me) Nest!

Byrdie - that's what happened for me. I never tried to quit before, but always to "moderate," to be normal, watch out better, etc. What a chore. This time I jumped in with BOTH FEET after a final, disastrous attempt at moderation. Alcohol is no longer a choice for me, so I have to find other ways to cope. It IS amazing to me how much popular culture insists that alcohol is the way to deal with hard emotional things - just watched a movie where a character is asked if he wants tea (English movie) to calm down, and he says tea won't do, I NEED whiskey. FFS!

That brings me to Sam's post. What is better for me is managing through all emotions without the crutch of alcohol. I feel all there is to feel, and I have to process it rather than avoid it. Suddenly being faced with all of those avoided emotions is hard, but so rewarding in the end.

Welcome back Witching and Mein - settle in and use us to support you...

Pav

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

Hi all; still here just super tired (well, and cranky) last night. Did not drink though, so on Day 5!

Thanks to everyone confirming that the headaches are normal! I have another today, and it's just nice to have confirmation that it's not just me. The weekend has been rough for me, my mom is trying to be as supportive as she can but I think she was hoping I'd be noticeably better after 3 days. So it's not that she's doing anything "wrong" as much as she's trying to encourage me to get out and do things and feel better and get back on a normal sleep schedule and...I'm still at Day 5 and pretty proud of myself for just cleaning the bathroom yesterday. BUT the nice thing is instead of smiling and nodding and then drinking, I sat with her and talked some about what's going on for me. I'm positive that's gotten a better result and today is going to be better than it used to be when we butted heads.

And the other thought I had last night was that this is why I need to do this for me, and remember it's about me. The entire world isn't revolving around me going AF, and if I rely on "yay you" from my friends and family I'm not going to stick with it. I need to remember *my* joy in starting a new life. And remember I've got you guys here, that too.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

Also hi witchy, nice to meet you!

And Sam, right now I think what I'm happiest about at the moment is having one less thing to worry about. I never realized how much time and energy I was putting into drinking heavily while trying to make sure no one could tell. It is insane the amount of extra stress and worry I dumped on myself living like that for so long.

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hi Friends, I hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday.

Pav, I know what you mean about the omnipresence. I like to think that someday alcohol will enjoy the same kind of decline that tobacco did. In the old days, doctors used to endorse cigarette brands, but now it is recognized for the poison that it is.

Byrdie, agree 100%. Leaving an out is just game playing.

Sam, right now the best thing is enjoying the cool air of a late summer walk and hearing the slow chirp of a single cricket outside my window. There is a pervading calm.

Lavblue, you are doing great! Just remember to rest and treat yourself gently if that's what you feel like doing.

Okoren, congratulations on your 7 (8) days!

MS, WW, Daisy, Cherokeer, glad to see you.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Okoren,
On behalf of the NN, please accept this FULL MOON!
:moon:
You've conquered every single day of the week! We are so happy for you! Keep the streak going!!! GREAT JOB!! B

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie, Pav and Sam- All great posts today. What our brains "feel" about AL is powerful, so to avoid it, our solutions have to be powerful, non-negotiable and committed...else we will just be repeating the same patterns that we said we would never do again. I know now any drink I take will cause more damage to myself, and every day I avoid it increases my chances for repair ...we all need that repair from the poison that is AL. Conflict, pain or celebration...there is always an excuse to drink. There are so many other reasons not to however. I'm still learning to cope with raw emotions without the interference of AL...it is hard to do and it does feel different, but it can be done and is worth it

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Checking in late today. So many great things... I found myself "missing" the margarita at our favorite place - the virgin one was good though. I asked hubs how his marg was, and he said good, but it would probably be better if he took a break from drinking. He said I was doing a really good job at abstaining. Made me want the drink less! The rest of the night... I smiled and laughed so much more than I would have if I were buzzed/numbed... I really enjoyed myself. Also enjoyed looking at very drunk people, feeling so glad I wasn't them!

Former co-worker of hubs, and friends of ours, ran into us and we listened to music with them for awhile. Conversation about "why I wasn't drinking" came up. I felt like being honest and just said that it got to be something I was doing too much from stress and wasn't liking that it felt unhealthy. Then HE went off on saying he probably drinks too much and it gets boring, etc. Nice to be inspiring to others, I guess - and makes it a lot less intimidating to feel like the odd one out.

Kids start school tomorrow and I will have shorter work days to accomplish the same thing... feeling pretty anxious and scattered today. Lot's swirling around in my head - NONE of which revolves around AL, however. I'm feeling the rewards of not drinking and really liking it. But my mind is r-a-c-i-n-g and I'm needing to just focus on the basic tasks at hand... groceries, school bags, dinner, laundry and bed. I am making cucumber water for the hot afternoon - my favorite (and quite good for you!)

So impressed by you Lav2. No, you are not overly optimistic, and you certainly seem to have reached the point that you know you can't go backwards. Good for you.

Have a good re-entry everyone. Send me some calming thoughts if you have any to spare!!

[available]

Newbies Nest

LavenderBlue;1694505 wrote: Hi all; still here just super tired (well, and cranky) last night. Did not drink though, so on Day 5!

Thanks to everyone confirming that the headaches are normal! I have another today, and it's just nice to have confirmation that it's not just me. The weekend has been rough for me, my mom is trying to be as supportive as she can but I think she was hoping I'd be noticeably better after 3 days. So it's not that she's doing anything "wrong" as much as she's trying to encourage me to get out and do things and feel better and get back on a normal sleep schedule and...I'm still at Day 5 and pretty proud of myself for just cleaning the bathroom yesterday. BUT the nice thing is instead of smiling and nodding and then drinking, I sat with her and talked some about what's going on for me. I'm positive that's gotten a better result and today is going to be better than it used to be when we butted heads.

And the other thought I had last night was that this is why I need to do this for me, and remember it's about me. The entire world isn't revolving around me going AF, and if I rely on "yay you" from my friends and family I'm not going to stick with it. I need to remember *my* joy in starting a new life. And remember I've got you guys here, that too.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

LB i had headaches for 5 weeks and of course i thought the worst but i realised that i put al into my body for a bad 20+ years so my body needed to heal. My sleep patterns were also atrocious but have thankfully settled (if i dont drink too much coffee of course). My mum, like yours, thought "well thats it, you have given up drinking, your fine now". Really mum??? We went to Thailand for two weeks when i was around 80+ days and her comment to me recently was "i didnt drink so it must have been easy for you". My reply was "mum there was al being sold every 5 feet, i spent a lot of time looking at the sky". We have to acknowledge that they know nothing about being addicted to al and they cant really understand. My mum finally told me a month ago how proud of me she was. To me, this has made my sobriety so worthwhile as i hated my mother but at the end of the day it was "me" i hated.

Good on you for "only" cleaning the bathroom. Do what you feel you can do, the rest will always be there.

Sam, when i first stopped i didnt really know what the positives of not drinking were, i just knew i wanted and had to stop. Everyone told me the positives but i just focused on not drinking and trying to get to that stage of "positives". Now i could write a list a mile long on how good not drinking is and each day that list would get longer. Living is the best positive i have found and not just existing.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Also, PAVATI, I can relate to the having to deal with the emotions. I think I am almost in sensory overload at times (now), I'm glad to know that it all balances out. I told Byrdie awhile back that I didn't miss AL as much as just being able to "check out" for awhile. But I keep hearing that this new life w/o AL settles in and smoothes out .

SAM, I love feeling alert later in the evenings. I spent so many 8pm's missing conversation, night walks, book reading, listening to crickets. What a waste!

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Just checking in. MAE everyone!!

It's Monday morning here in Aus. I'm at work and feeling good. Normally Monday morning I would be at the bottom of the pit of depression on my weekly cycle, but today is day 7 and I'm feeling great.

Have a great week eveyone.:thumbs:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Petrel!
Great job on your 7 days! Another pants drop for you! Here you go!
:moon:
The worst is behind you!
J-vo, 7 for you, too. A double mooning!
:moon:
We are so proud of both of you for kicking AL 's arse! We couldnt be happier for you! Keep the streak going! Well done!
Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

A double mooning - I may go blind :H:H
Congrats to Petrel, j-vo & everyone moving right along!

The main thing I like about my AF'ness is having my mind back 24-7!!!!
No worries, no fears just pure freedom - it's the best

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Pinecone! I never have been good at just slowing down, but I know you and everyone else are right that I'll do better being gentle with myself. And it's something I need to learn how to do for long term health, I think.

Kensho, thanks so much! There's so many things I've cut myself off from with the drinking, it's work but it's also kind of magic to start rediscovering them. Definitely sending you calming thoughts. I also feel the same about wanting to just "check out" sometimes, espeically with strong emotions. When I was a teenager I was really interested in meditation, I'm thinking I might see if that's still something that would help me.

Ava, that's it exactly! She mentioned something the other day about "Surely you're feeling better by now, right?" Not to needle me, but the same way as if I'd just gotten over a stomach bug or something. We wound up talking some about other things that I could compare it to. She's tried quitting smoking for ages so she gets the immediate physical cravings. We talked a little about her MS and how she can't think her way out of being tired or having a bad MS day, she just had to learn how to deal with it over time. And she said she was remembering that it was hard for her to stop smoking pot when she was younger because she'd used it for everything - socializing, depression, boredom...so pulling all that together it made more sense to her, I think.

And thanks on the bathroom! I was double proud of that one - I'd been reading a book and realized the back of my brain wanted a drink. I figured out it was mostly that I was bored, so I figured I'd get up and do something for a bit. I didn't really want to, but it got me distracted and I was glad to have it done.

Congrats Petrel and J-vo! o/

Settling in for a quiet night here; I've just realized I'm into Day 6 - almost at my first week! Thanks again to everyone for your caring and support and hope everyone else has a pleasant evening.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1694619 wrote: Petrel!
Great job on your 7 days! Another pants drop for you! Here you go!
:moon:
The worst is behind you!
J-vo, 7 for you, too. A double mooning!
:moon:
We are so proud of both of you for kicking AL 's arse! We couldnt be happier for you! Keep the streak going! Well done!
Byrdie

Thanks Byrdie! I'm probably half a day behind j-vo with the time zones. I haven't felt this good on a Monday in a long time.

[okoren1]

Newbies Nest

Petrel- soooo glad to hear about your 7-day victory! I'm pulling for you as you move toward your next goal!

LavenderBlue- looking forward to getting a similar winning report from you tomorrow- your 7 days!?!?!