Newbies Nest

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1694858 wrote: It does hurt to start over but it hurts more to stay trapped in the agony of being an addicted drinker, right? Really feel this pain today - and REMEMBER it! Maybe write down in excrutiating detail what brought you to the point of signing on to MWO again to give this another try. Our brains are masterful at forgetting the "bad stuff" and romanticizing whatever we perceive as "good" about drinking. So do what it takes not to let yourself forget.

And the fact is, there is nothing good about drinking a poison for anyone - but especially for those of us who became addicted. Remember how bad alcohol tasted the first time you tried a sip (i.e. before you had a chance to feel the buzz or blur or whatever you were going for)? The fact is, it tastes like crap to most people the first time it is in their mouths. We learned to like it (rather, it's effects , which made us convince ourselves that we appreciated the taste).

So glad you came back, Fin, and you, too, WMM.

Great idea to log the misery. On the positive side, it's good to recall these reasons for going AL free:

? A more mellow transition into home life from work which I wouldn't have expected. I'm less reactive and more willing to chip in vs. escape the sometimes chaotic scene.

? The time I have with my girl and boy (12 and 6 respectively) is infinitely better and I feel totally at ease and free knowing that I don't stink like IPA. I'm more open to reading, or just hanging out with them before lights out. YES! This is one of the things I was hoping would improve going AF.

? I'm back to wrestling with my boy. I can tell he really missed our All Star Wresting sessions that we had when I was less of a lush. Again, not worrying about stinking like beer, it's easier to jump into the mayhem. Plus, I don't end up feeling sick afterwards from a full belly of beer.

? When I go to bed I know exactly what I did that night. Not so when in an IPA daze.

? I'm sleeping so much better. I use to routinely wake up at 2 AM wide awake from all the IPA sugars metabolizing in my body and a need to pee. I'm now sleeping soundly through the night and even dreaming again (I wish this for all of you who are currently experiencing some sleep issues - hang in there!)

? My wife is wondering why I don't snore anymore?!

? The mornings are absolutely awesome in comparison to the IPA mornings -- the morning guy hated the night guy. Now the morning guy loves the night guy. I'm 100% clear, energetic and proud of the day before's hard work and acknowledge the all hard work will make for a great new day.

? I have a disciplined hour and a half every weekday morning to study / practice mandolin. The new found clarity is incredibly noticeable. I find that I can concentrate a solid 30 minutes more and the notes seem to just flow under my fingers. This mental /physical improvement alone is a striking reminder how frickin' destructive AL is on our minds and bodies.

? I'm recovering faster from hard workouts. Our bodies recover mostly while we sleep, but if our system is overwhelmed processing AL, it puts the muscle recovery on hold. Anyway, my workouts have felt so much more energetic and that lingering sensation that I may barf at any moment seems to have passed.

? Best of all, I can look at myself in the mirror each morning knowing that I'm now living the life I want to live...being the person I see myself being -- no more lies, regret, shame, embarrassment or noise in my head about what a dip shit I am for drinking so much the night before. Rather my eyes are clear and bright and I feel alive!

"We are what we do everyday."

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

SOOO good to see you back Fin! I've often thought about you. Now glue your butt in to the Nest, you hear?? :l

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Fin;1694864 wrote: Great idea to log the misery. On the positive side, it's good to recall these reasons for going AL free:

I agree that focusing on gratitude is a critical element, also, and is one of the best additions to my life since I arrived here. But in the stressful moment when the lizard brain is winning the contest with the rational self, the only thing in the world that sounded good to me was to take that drink. None of the many blessings in my life meant anything at that moment. But -- the memory of feeling even worse helped me not give in to that short term reward.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Hi FIN! Great list... I can relate to much of what you wrote, especially about kids. We can never get this youth back from them (mine are 4 & 8)! What a shame if our kids grow up associating Good Night Moon and Harry Potter with AL breath. Having the energy to be present with them at night is priceless - and who can keep the monsters away better than Dad?

What I love most about your post is how the morning guy loves the night guy. It's such a relief to feel like one cohesive person - not two people at war. And the mental clarity, physical recovery... all things I've noticed too, and I'm working on day 14 - can't imagine what it will be at day 80 or beyond! Anyway, glad to meet you, and thanks for the list.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1694874 wrote: I agree that focusing on gratitude is a critical element, also, and is one of the best additions to my life since I arrived here. But in the stressful moment when the lizard brain is winning the contest with the rational self, the only thing in the world that sounded good to me was to take that drink. None of the many blessings in my life meant anything at that moment. But -- the memory of feeling even worse helped me not give in to that short term reward.

Copy that. I will document this hell I'm in now and remember it when tempted.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

KENSHO;1694875 wrote: Hi FIN! Great list... I can relate to much of what you wrote, especially about kids. We can never get this youth back from them (mine are 4 & 8)! What a shame if our kids grow up associating Good Night Moon and Harry Potter with AL breath. Having the energy to be present with them at night is priceless - and who can keep the monsters away better than Dad?

What I love most about your post is how the morning guy loves the night guy. It's such a relief to feel like one cohesive person - not two people at war. And the mental clarity, physical recovery... all things I've noticed too, and I'm working on day 14 - can't imagine what it will be at day 80 or beyond! Anyway, glad to meet you, and thanks for the list.

Great to meet you, too! Day 14 is awesome...two weeks!! Woooo hoooo!!! Keep it up.

Hey on separate note, I keep getting auto logged out really quickly. Anyone else experiencing that?

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

K9Lover;1694872 wrote: SOOO good to see you back Fin! I've often thought about you. Now glue your butt in to the Nest, you hear?? :l

Super glued and good to see you again. Hope all's well.

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Fin- Since you are not really a newbie (you appear to have already had more success than I have had in the past with what looks like at least close to 70 days at some point).. can you tell us:

1. What worked to get you your longest AL period before?

2. What stopped your success, and what you would do different this time to make it stick?

Thanks

[artsymom]

Newbies Nest

Never Done this Before

I hope I am doing this right. I have never been on a forum before. I Don't want to reply to someone else's post by mistake (oh, man, here comes the social anxiety creeping in). Anyway, it's Monday and I hope the start of a new me. Hi to all other newbies and best wishes to all. :new:

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

See the Light;1694884 wrote: Fin- Since you are not really a newbie (you appear to have already had more success than I have had in the past with what looks like at least close to 70 days at some point).. can you tell us:

1. What worked to get you your longest AL period before?

2. What stopped your success, and what you would do different this time to make it stick?

Thanks

What worked was just not letting up. There comes a point when we all just say "enough!". I also started to reward my good behavior. Saving $10.00 / day adds up to a really nice deep tissue message, or some other healthy indulgence.

My dad passed away and I caved. I had been having some thoughts around that time about my quit that were tempting me, too. Like, "why do I have to be so perfect" and shit like that. I really don't know what I can do differently to prevent these kinds of thoughts from tempting me again. I think I just need to get enough distance between me and this beast or as Byrd would say, "just get through this day".

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

artsymom;1694887 wrote: I hope I am doing this right. I have never been on a forum before. I Don't want to reply to someone else's post by mistake (oh, man, here comes the social anxiety creeping in). Anyway, it's Monday and I hope the start of a new me. Hi to all other newbies and best wishes to all. :new:

Welcome! I'm on Day 1 as well. See you for Day 2 tomorrow, OK?

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Soft Focus;1694909 wrote: Hi Artsymom & Fin,

Good to meet you both. Here's to day 2!!'

SF

Heck ya! I'm already feeling a lot better after reconnecting and meeting some new folks here. Such a great forum. Together we are stronger.

[Mr Vervill]

Newbies Nest

Back Again, too. Day 2
Like Fin said, the morning guy was not liking the night guy.
Yup, like others have said, I want to live, not just exist.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

ArtsyMom, welcome aboard!
We are so glad you found us. This was my first time logging in to an online forum, too, and it turned out to be the best thing I ever did! I did not have the skills and knowledge to tackle this addiction on my own, but with the help of good people right here in the nest, I am 1307 days sober! Please don't worry about social anxiety here....we all have it to some degree, that's what AL did for us (or so we thought), the words you write down are as much for yourself as anyone....by writing, you document your journey. Sometimes I find that just getting the mess out of my head and onto paper helps so much. We are so glad you found us. Also see the link below to the Tool Box, there are 7 years worth of ideas/articles/tips/tricks to help you. Knowledge is power, and there is a slew of it in that Tool Box!
WhiteMarsh, glad to see you back, and dear Fin! Settle in!
K9, you flit in and out of here, I wish you'd stay put, too! We miss you!

Cocoflo wrote:

I tend to be a shy/introverted person (probably with some social anxiety), so I almost always drink before I go out socially. However, this weekend spent with great people made me realize that I am also very lonely - also a reason that I drink. Not sure how to reconcile the two. Working from home does not help my feeling of isolation, so I'm hoping to change my job situation. End quote.

Coco, I could have written these words. I am a dang salesperson and I am naturally shy. It takes everything I can build up to make a cold call on new customers! And I've been at this job for almost 27 years! However, I have learned that whatever I thought AL brought out in me....outgoing, never a loss for words, engaging....all of those things are still within me. Now, I don't have to take a drink to bring them out. I never knew lonely until I was in the pits of alcoholism: Protecting my supply, disposing of the empties....PRELOADING before parties or meetings. Now THAT is lonely, a self inflicted hell, really. I work from home also....it's the best AND the worst! I am living proof this CAN be done! You have so many friends here....we will keep you company!
You will be amazed just how freeing getting out from under the jealous grip of AL can be....I know I am. I feel on top of my game. I didn't get here overnight....it takes some time and patience! Great to see you on your way!

Byrdie

[whitemarshmom]

Newbies Nest

I also work from home for those of you that also do, it is the best and the worst..Today will be day 1 for me. Football practice at 6pm-830pm.. It's great to have someone else to do this with Fin and Coco and Soft Focus and Artsy and See the Light and anyone else i may have missed. Keep reading and keep posting! I was on a camping vaca all last week and i knew that i would drink, i was able to moderate ok except one night ( 1 night too many) and have had blackouts both nights since we have been home WTH.. it stops today! Hang on to the nest tightly