Newbies Nest

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Fin;1694899 wrote: What worked was just not letting up. There comes a point when we all just say "enough!". I also started to reward my good behavior. Saving $10.00 / day adds up to a really nice deep tissue message, or some other healthy indulgence.

My dad passed away and I caved. I had been having some thoughts around that time about my quit that were tempting me, too. Like, "why do I have to be so perfect" and shit like that. I really don't know what I can do differently to prevent these kinds of thoughts from tempting me again. I think I just need to get enough distance between me and this beast or as Byrd would say, "just get through this day".

Yes, ..thx...I do get that...seems the more I read of people with many days of AF under their belts, the more I gather this one important message: You can fight the beast, and even tame and cage the beast, but never let up your guard and leave the cage unlocked, else the beast could get vicious again and try to rip our faces off when we don't expect it. Here's to keeping AL where it belongs, in it's cage.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

whitemarshmom;1694919 wrote: I also work from home for those of you that also do, it is the best and the worst..Today will be day 1 for me. Football practice at 6pm-830pm.. It's great to have someone else to do this with Fin and Coco and Soft Focus and Artsy and See the Light and anyone else i may have missed. Keep reading and keep posting! I was on a camping vaca all last week and i knew that i would drink, i was able to moderate ok except one night ( 1 night too many) and have had blackouts both nights since we have been home WTH.. it stops today! Hang on to the nest tightly

August 18th, 2014 - Day 1

Whitemarshmom
Coco
Soft Focus
Artsy
See the Light
Fin

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

Hi all! First off I really want to thank everyone who's shared thoughts on the "just one drink" thinking, again. That's really helping me keep my cravings in perspective in the moment. I don't think I've ever wanted "just one" even when I was a teenager, so remembering that really helps me keep myself in line. I keep telling myself, "No...what you want is to drink until you don't have to think about things. And then you'll want one more after that. Then you're going to wake up mad at yourself and nothing will be solved anyway."

Kensho, fall has always been my favorite season. It doesn't always last long in the Midwest, but I'm looking forward to being able to get out and enjoy it more this year.

Coco; yay you for having a plan, I agree that being busy and having a plan has been helping me a lot so far. I have the same issues with being introverted. I think that the way I was drinking was making me even more shy and nervous though. We'll both figure it out in time, I'm sure. I was in a social situation the other day, though, that I would usually drink first. And it went better AF - I was more confident that what I was saying was what I meant (instead of arguing "should I say this? would I say it sober?"), and everyone still enjoyed my company. It wasn't easy, but even this early in my quit I could tell it made a positive difference.

WMM, hi and nice to meet you; good luck starting again!

MS, I also have depression/anxiety from further back than I've even been drinking. I really resonate with the "thinking about the future does not happen," and so glad it's getting better for you! Also lol, YES on the eating. I had no idea it would help as much as it does - yay for this forum or I'd never have thought of that.

Fin, also hi and nice to meet you; sorry to hear you slipped but glad you're back here and going for it! And that's a great list of reminders why AF is important for you. (and so cool that you play the mandolin!) And that's a really good point about rewarding yourself. I've had people tell me before that I should really get better at rewarding myself - and now that I need something other than drinking for that it's something I should really sit and think about to help stay motivated. Condolences on your dad, that's really hard.

Byrd - You and I have the salesperson thing in common, too! I'm super shy and introverted and I was in retail management for over a decade, I just made myself push through it when I was at work. I'd been thinking about another career path for the last year or more; I'm sure that being AF will help me figure out if that's really the right answer for me or not. I'm unemployed now so I can't really put off the job thing forever.

artsymom, hi and nice to meet you! I've only been here a week myself and everyone has been very kind and supportive, you'll be fine.

Good luck and best wishes to everyone here starting out or still going. I need to get off my butt and get some food, here! And thanks to everyone hanging around and being supportive - I've always been a "don't worry about me, I'll take care of myself" person; having a support structure here is making the difference for me in a huge way, every day.

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Fin;1694946 wrote: August 18th, 2014 - Day 1

Whitemarshmom
Coco
Soft Focus
Artsy
See the Light
Fin

Fin- I'm (hopefully) finishing up day 21 today, but I've had at least 21 day 1s in my time so I know where you are all at. Oh, and welcome Mr. V...seems like a busy day here today

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

See the Light;1694952 wrote: Fin- I'm (hopefully) finishing up day 21 today, but I've had at least 21 day 1s in my time so I know where you are all at. Oh, and welcome Mr. V...seems like a busy day here today

Day 21?! AWESOME. I cannot wait to get there. That's the second floor.

I WILL NOT drink tonight. NO.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Jolie;1046304 wrote: Good Saturday morning everyone!

Had lunch with my mom and sister yesterday at an upscale restaurant. When the waitress asked if we wanted cocktails I saw my sister hesitate - before either of us could say anything my Mom said "just water" and I followed with "water w/lemon" and my sister had tea. We plan on making this a monthly ritual so I know I'm going to need to stay strong and keep on course. (besides - what is 1 glass of wine going to do for me anyway

LavanderBlue,
Here is the post that changed my life. It was posted during my first week. I was having a tough weekend....JUST ONE, I kept saying to myself....IF I could JUST HAVE ONE! Then I would remember Jolie's post above.....Besides, what is 1 glass of wine going to do for me anyway.... this is a sentence that became my mantra. Every time I threw a pity party about not being able to have just one, I pulled this phrase out and it worked! Maybe it will help you, too. Byrdie

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Byrd - and that is another useful way to look at it. It also reminds me of last time I relapsed. I was at my brother's wedding (of course it was a wedding!) and I think I'd already started having an occasional drink. His wife's family is huge on wine and had a free wine bar for the immediate family. Wine was never "my thing" so I figured a glass couldn't hurt, plus I was convinced I didn't want to drink much around my dad since he's been sober for so many years. You can imagine how that went when it was free... >_>

I didn't do anything horrible at the wedding, but I hate every single picture I'm in; I wouldn't even post them up for my friends later. I look flushed and fat and I hate the dress I was wearing. (Which is a story in itself. I was supposed to be a bridesmaid, but at the last minute I had to bow out because the dress didn't fit anymore. So had to go shopping last minute for something else to wear and yeah...the one I picked looked awful. It wasn't an ugly dress, just looked crappy on me.)

I can't do "just one" even if it's something I don't normally drink, and I need to remember that! If by some bizarre circumstance I did have "just one" I'd spend the rest of the night crabby that I couldn't have more - and why break my AF just to be crabby anyway?! That is lose-lose no matter how tempting.

[Pie]

Newbies Nest

It's energizing to see all the fresh starts here today! May all of our plans be strong ones!

Pie :l

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

The working from home is a blessing and a curse. Great flexibility and perfect for the very independent personality, but unfortunately not so good in the "lonely" department.

Craved a very specific drink on the way home tonight - always seems to be when I am in the city in traffic. I noticed also that my stomach was growling. Got home and ate ice cream!! Craving is not gone, but better. I need to bring snacks during the day and eat in the afternoons until I'm full and see if that changes the desire. At this point in my first quit, I started eating very few grains, but piled on the protein, vegies and good fat - and I think it really helped. Might try that again. Eating well is so much work!

After reading it several times here, I absolutely believe many of my cravings are at times when I am Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired, i.e. HALT.

Off to cool chicken cordon bleu... Have a good night - and a restful AF sleep everyone. Lav2, you are doing great - just keep it up!! Congrats to the other Day-1's - now on to 2!!

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Fin;1694946 wrote: August 18th, 2014 - Day 1

Whitemarshmom
Coco
Soft Focus
Artsy
See the Light
Fin

Hey Fin
so glad you're back!!

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Best wishes, freedom, clarity and pride to all the day 1 er's and all Nesters!

Y'all Raaawk. G bloke.

[whitemarshmom]

Newbies Nest

Bed Time here in the North East... made is successfully thru Day 1 rather surprised easily, and very pleased. Had to stop for chinese food for kids dinner after football practice, and right next door was the liquor store with their door propped wide open as if inviting and tempting me, I held my hand up to my eye as if it were a blinder and said walk right by, walk right by to myself, and I did! Good Night to all my fellow AF day 1ers, sleep well Good Night! It was easy because the past 2 nights were both black outs, im exhausted and broke ( which helps)

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Made it through the most difficult time of day for me, the 5 - 7 PM window. See you all for another day tomorrow. Hang tight and be good.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Samstone;1695028 wrote: Hey Fin
so glad you're back!!

Thanks, Samstone! Hope all's well with you and yours. I feel so much better right now for staying the course for a successful Day 1. Next, repeat...

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Great job WMM and Fin!