Newbies Nest

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Samstone;1695380 wrote: Hey Fin
that music thing is certainly beer related. What I've found is that now I really enjoy playing sober. It took awhile to get there but you really do play better straight. There's a real high all unto itself when you get playing ok without the "edge". It took me several festivals to feel that comfort. The turning point was seeing people feeling like shit the next day and I WASN'T ONE OF THEM! It was also helpful my friends did not pressure me in any way to drink. That was key and I'm grateful that they did not. You might need to be up front with them.

Lots of water is a good thing. The hard work will pay off as you know!
be well
Sam

Thanks, Sam! I forgot we had bluegrass in common. They guys/gals are always super mellow about the choice to drink or not. As you say, I just need to find my sweet spot without the cans of performance courage I'd normally use as lube. I'm so hopeful knowing you've made this work and that so many other have as well that I remember from my last big effort. I am inspired. Thanks again.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

artsymom;1695389 wrote: Hey, Fin,

Stick with WMM and me! We don't wanna lose you, we just started here. I know how you feel. I'm a long-time professional musician myself. Music and drinking seem to go together so perfectly. Usually "let's jam" really means, "let's all get drunk." Thing is, like Samstone said, the music is actually better when you're clear-headed, and you sure feel better the next day--or the same day, if the "jam" went on all night. You might want to let your attorney friend in on your trying to be AF. Attorneys have one of the worst records of alcohol and drug dependence and, boy, it eventually catches up with every one of them. Anyway, stick with it. Let us know how "Boyhood" is and if I'll need a box of tissues to go see it.

Yes! I've found more of my people. Another musician. That's great. And yeah, I've definitely been known for using the jam as an excuse to really let it rip on all fronts. I'm now in a more serious band, so it's actually a lot more conducive toward sober playing. We're working hard at hitting the right notes in time. Not possible after 6 IPAs.

I'll talk to my attorney. At least it won't be for defense of some AL related crime!

Will do on Boyhood. I have a feeling it's going to break me. Have you seen The Broken Circle Breakdown? Case of tissues required:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/01/mo...=fb-share&_r=0

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

artsymom;1695378 wrote: LavBlue--Big Congrats on your 7 days. Hope to be there soon.

I know I am new here, but learned a trick about bad dreams. Booze or no booze, I have always, always had terrible dreams, some about bad, past things I would much rather forget. I often woke in a panic, soaked in sweat. Couldn't get over it even after realizing it was a dream. I was taught that immediately when you wake up from a dream like that you should note where you are. Normal things. Notice your bed, your alarm clock, your dresser, the water spot on the ceiling, whatever. Here comes the crazy part. You should say it out loud: "I'm in my own bed. There's my alarm clock. There's my white noise generator. There's my lamp" Yes, if you have a partner in bed, he or she will think you're crazy, but it has actually helped me. Good luck to you.

Thanks, artsy! The support here on the forums has been making a huge difference for me, I've practically been stalking them all through the week - I'm starting to understand why folks always say "Stay close."

And thanks for the advice, that's a great idea! I'm also one of "those" dog owners hehe - I let my big lump of dog sleep on the bed with me. I'm sure if I start naming things he'll wake up and start pesting for breakfast and lurve...which would also help ground me in the here and now. Or he'll step on me, which is also distracting. Graceful, he is not. :P

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Hey Fin, hang in there! Last night I was fighting AL like mad, and this morning I truly and one hundred percent appreciated not giving in! You will be so glad if you don't imbibe.

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Fin :l

Please hang tight! I am back as a newbie again myself. I have changed positions at work and my home computer has been down and I have not been able to check in at all until today. i am so glad to have you and Jenni back on board, as company. As well as WMM and Artsy.

I think you are doing the right thing, Fin, in avoiding these social situations. We have to draw the line somewhere, and now is the best time. There will always be excuses to drink. Let's stop now!

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

KENSHO;1695396 wrote: Hey Fin, hang in there! Last night I was fighting AL like mad, and this morning I truly and one hundred percent appreciated not giving in! You will be so glad if you don't imbibe.

I'm better now, but holy crap. These cravings are insane. It's a good reminder of how f'ed up my relationship with AL has become. No need. Anyway, thanks for all the speedy replys. You guys/gals are great.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

FIN Can you distract yourself at all? Something really out of the ordinary to change your thoughts / chemistry - exercise, stand on your head and laugh at yourself, try to read a book upside down? I felt exactly as insane last night... thought I would not make it - but I settled in and remembered something someone here said about the morning guy liking the night guy..." I made it and you can too.

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

Oh, and thanks for the moon, Byrd!

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

Fin;1695399 wrote: I'm better now, but holy crap. These cravings are insane. It's a good reminder of how f'ed up my relationship with AL has become. No need. Anyway, thanks for all the speedy replys. You guys/gals are great.

Fin, good for you and that's a really good point about what the cravings say about things!

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Yes, Fin! Good for you! Have you eaten?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Looks like another super busy nest day again - great!!!

Pepper, CONGRATS on your 150 AF days :wd:
Make such a huge difference in perspective, don't you think?

LavB, Congrats on your moon

Fin, nice to see you - hang in there, the first few days are the hardest.

Good to see so many checking in today - the nest is hopping once again
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

honesty check: kitchen sink is clogged (GROSS) Had lunch with 85 year old aunt who said I HAD to try this delicious wine (only had half a glass) at lunch?..found out yesterday that my beloved dog is blind and running into everything and has really bad arthritis?..
cooking dinner on grill because 14 year old is STARVING
I have to drive my 80 year old mom to maine with her 83 year old brother and wife on friday for a long weekend?.they are all very heavy drinkers?..
so tonight, i did not do the right thing?.BUT I refuse to disappear from MYO ?..I am going to be accountable for what I have done tonight?.please, no judgment
I will be sober soon

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Lava, NO WAY IN HELL am I going back there!! I can not drink ever ever again. I have no control and I have come too far to fall back down that rabbit hole. I have a very healthy fear of that and am protecting my quit. Every time AL even looks a little bit appealing I replay "things I shall not name" in my head and that does it for me. It's funny how every minute of my days used to be of when, how, and how soon I could drink. Now, days can go by and the thought never occurs to me. But it will slap me in the back of the my when I'm not looking. I slap back.

AL was ruining my life, my health, even my brain. I felt like hell all the time. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't think. I could barely get through work. I was hiding, sneaking, lying about this horrid poison that had taken over my life. Until one day I broke. I cried out to God for help. I couldn't do it on my own. I kept trying to control AL but it was controlling me. I believe God heard my pleading cries because suddenly I had the strength. He answered my prayers. I was so unworthy and ashamed to even speak to him. For the things I've done, for the person I become. But broken, sobbing, and hopeless....I took a chance.

I got on MWO and the kindness and caring I received was a balm to my fractured soul. Not even sure why on that day I felt compelled to come here. I am so grateful I did. Whenever lizard brain tries slithering in, this is where I come. Just reading others posts takes it all away.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

What a lovely post Cherokeer.......you sound great!

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Daisy! I feel great.