Newbies Nest

[momofthree]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone! Finally....30 days! I didn't think I would ever get here!
WMM, that really stinks about your husband, I am so sorry you are going through this. I've been in a controlled relationship before and the damage is does to you can be quite debilitating. Are you in a position to see a counselor? Or has he clamped down even more control on you because of the IRS bill that just came in. I hope you understand that his reactions, his behaviour and his control issues have absolutely nothing to do with you and are not caused by you. It wouldn't matter what you do, or don't do he is not going to change his behaviour. The thing you can control is how you deal with it and how you control your responses and your reaction to him. Think of you and your children and make the best decision you can for yourself and for them. Thinking of you!

[momofthree]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Available! It feels pretty good being able to remember this whole month and not get worried looks from my husband, that's for sure. Some days it was really really hard not to go grab a bottle when I was feeling very stressed out. I couldn't escape one single moment it would seem without my brain telling me wine would fix it, and that I needed it. Wine would help me. I'm really happy I grit my teeth through it and sometimes cursed and hid in the bathroom, or ate till I couldn't move till the feeling passed.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Excellent work, i find eating helps immensely and now started walking to lose the eating that i did for 8 months. i had a really stressful day yesterday and at 8.30am i thought "f*** i want a drink" and i said that to someone, also followed by "i dont drink". The thoughts are still there but it is how we deal with them that matters. I know i can never drink again but it doesnt mean i still dont get an urge. The good thing is the urges are less as time goes on thank god!

I too love not having a hangover, can look at my phone anytime and know i have not spoken to anyone or sent texts, no anxiety, depression, shame, guilt. I feel happy and "normal".

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Momofthree, Congratulations on 30 days! WOO HOO!!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters & Happy Friday!

CONGRATS to you momof3!!! 30 AF days = awesome
Life without hang overs, guilt & shame is the best!!!

WMM, I truly hope you stay on plan & stay connected to us. We all feel your pain :l
I really had to emotionally disconnect myself from my husband & focus on my health & welfare to make any real changes. Self-care, first & foremost is what's needed here

Wishing everyone a great AF Friday!

Lav

[artsymom]

Newbies Nest

Way to go, momofthree!!! Inspiration for us short-timers.

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everybody,

Mom/3 congratulations on your 30 days! There are so many more good things down this road. I'm very happy for you!

WMM, sending you some support!

Kensho, a little late but nice job on working out your husband's birthday arrangement. I'm glad you posted about it here and got great support and advice.

Nice job Petrelhead! Now on to your relaxing AF weekend.

Have a great AF morning, see you all later.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

MomO3,
It is with great pride that I am able to hand you this small token of a big job! Your HAT!
:goodtime:
This is for 30 days of outstanding achievement! For saying NO, when you wanted so badly to say Yes, YES, YES! It's for not only taking help, but giving strength when you had it to spare. We are all so proud of you and wish you continued success! Keep it going, the magic is about to happen!! Well done!

Ava, I used to tell co-workers I was going outside for a smoke break...to let it come out of my ears!! I work from home and I don't smoke, but just getting up and going outside always helps when I'm mad at something or someone. Removing myself from the situation goes a long way (self imposed time out!), so I really identified with what you said about coping.

Artsy, boy howdy, did you make a good point about WMM and a fistful of dollars! WhiteMarsh....please take these things on board. There is never going to be a better time to get this monkey off your back than right now. Tomorrow never comes for us. Stay strong and vow NEVER to buy or drink AL again....it helps. I was a pretty cheap drunk and I have saved at least $13,000!!!!! Aside from the occasional discomfort of wanting to take the easy way out, the benefits of being AF FAR outweigh what we think we are giving up. All you are really giving up a temporary escape....VERY temporary....there at the end, there was NO JOY in drinking at all, it was as if someone threw me a life preserver. I NEEDED IT. That's no way to live (but a pretty good way to die). So hang with us, the first few days ARE the hardest but I promise it gets exponentially easier from there. We believe in you!!

Hope everyone is shoring up his/her PLANS for the weekend....it's just Friday, not a free ticket to BoozeVille!! Stay strong, everyone....it IS worth it. Byrdie

[whitemarshmom]

Newbies Nest

damn me.. I shoulda stayed on , i shouldnt have run out.. I was soooo stressed out from DH, I only bought a 4 pk of Chard, and topped it off with a couple beers from DH garage, i still spent time with my kids, we read Otis, parts of the evening are a little fuzzy and that wasnt alot of AL for me considerig my old 2 bottle a night habit btw DH can stand for Dear Husband or Dick head. The latter in my case. He thrives on conflict. i have known this for a very long time , there isnt anything we can do about our relationship except end it. I am actually embarrassed in front of my kids by the way he treats me, and or speaks to me. He bad mouths me to anyone who will listen.. I could not be more emotionally disconected, nor he I.. You are correct, i have always been afraid of leaving because i was afraid he would use the drinking against me, you think that would be enough to make me stop AL.. My kids are definitely noticing a pattern, between arguing and stress and my drinking, omg, what am i teaching them? I know exactly , how horrible! I am feeling optimistic as it is Friday and we have football practice again tonight, they gave us the day off yesterday, which actually fueled my excuse to drink at DH...I told the kids i will take them to dinner after practice, and then tomorrow morning we have to be up at 730 am to be at a scrimmage that starts at 9am, some 40 minutes away.. Although it is very tiring, I do enjoy this business of practice every night and scrimmages or games on Saturdays, I have actually done alot better this week than i have past weeks, I was AF Monday, had a little Tues, AF on Weds, had a little on Thursday, and now Friday again will be AF.. Thank you all for your advice and reaching out to me when i was on the edge of the nest last night, i fell out, but it was only a few foot drop and if there is still room, I am going to climb right back in I'm going to go back thru and read in more detail all of your insightful wonderful posts after my morning job/work is done. Please dont feel like your sound advice is in any way for naught... HUGS to all and THANK YOU!

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

WMM - thanks for getting right back on the forum. After my past caves I've been so ashamed that it lead to months of more drinking before I could gain the confidence to show my "face" around here again. I counted and I think this is my 7th attempt with lots of wasted time, energy and guilt in between. It's been 15 months since my last cave. Anyway, I admire how you're sticking with the effort. Your situation demands it.

[artsymom]

Newbies Nest

Well, I finished the resume (thanks for the encouragement, LavB). Five pages! Not sure whether having all that experience means I'm that awesome or just old (lol, I think I'll go with awesome). Today the cover letter and references and hit "Submit." Scary. Whatever happens with this one job (please, please, please) at least I have current stuff now to send out. AND I did it AF, meaning when I proofread the final product this morning (without a headache or sour tummy) I remembered writing it!

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

Hi Guys, It's been awhile but I think I need the accountability. I have been lurking, but it is not the same. Not sure what else to say right now except I really want to do 30 days AF. I want no hangovers. So, here I am. Dang, I just like taste of wine. Let me post this fast before I back out.

[Orimus]

Newbies Nest

Back on day two again exhausted but the alcoholic ennui has lessened. Kung Fu at the Dojang tonight and back there again in the morning for Qi Gong. Driving in to work this morning I was already having the thought maybe I can have one or two tonight, just a beer and a shot. Just need to get home to meditate, procrastinate until I get to class. I keep telling myself I have to meditate after work everyday but end up only halfway making it happen as AL takes out my knees.

MOMo3 - Congrats on hitting that milestone!

WMM - Hang in there whitemarsh. No one has any power over us we don't give them and your kids need you to take that power back. Enjoy the scrimmage.

Hope everyone else is doing well as we head into the weekend. Looks like we're going to kick things off with a little rain over here.

[whitemarshmom]

Newbies Nest

it has been difficult in the past to show my face after falling out of the nest i would fall pretty far and take months to come back after weeks and days of drinking. I am optimistic that I am getting closer every day, and this week inparticular one day on, one day off, one day on , one day off , without over doing it on the "on" days has actually given me a better handle on my triggers, and the days off, i have listened to my body and mind and why i have been irritable at not being able to drink..I thank you all for your supportive and open arms. Please dont feel like im not listening, I am with Eyes wide open! HUGS

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Yogamom;1696735 wrote: Hi Guys, It's been awhile but I think I need the accountability. I have been lurking, but it is not the same. Not sure what else to say right now except I really want to do 30 days AF. I want no hangovers. So, here I am. Dang, I just like taste of wine. Let me post this fast before I back out.

I remember you! We joined MWO at within a month of each other. Have you been on the same cycle as me? I've learned a lot over my past attempts. There's getting through the 7-10 day detox and then the real work begins...the rehab. The rewiring. The full conviction. I'm in the detox stage again and now know that I'll need more support going forward to make it stick this time. It's not as easy as just saying no, that's for sure. Anyway, good to see you back.