Newbies Nest

[blackflag]

Newbies Nest

Day one over here, although last night I took it easy so I wasn't hung over today.
I'm going into work on the bank holiday, and I'm feeling a bit shakey. Had some crazy dreams last night too.
Anyway, hi!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Hi Blackflag and welcome to mwo. Good on you for day 1. The first week is the hardest but just keep in mind the goal of being af. Nothing is better than being sober everyday. Keep on here and posting, in no time you will have days up. I was on here 24/7 to start with, reading and posting to help with those cravings. Best of luck.

[blackflag]

Newbies Nest

Thanks available!

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

hello black flag. if you can (at work) have snacks with you and drinks. they really help with cravings.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Monday morning Nesters,

So happy to hear you are out & about climbing mountains Rahul! An AF life creates some wonderful opportunities for all of us. Congrats on your 6 AF months

Hello & welcome blackflag! Glad you decided to join us & congrats on your 1 day AF!
Stick around & let us know more about you & how you are doing

Greetings to everyone & sending wishes for a wonderful AF Monday for all!

Lav

[artsymom]

Newbies Nest

Didn't get a chance to thank everybody for the support and kudos yesterday. STL, Pi, Ava,Kensho, Wag, LavB, thanks. Byrd--been looking forward to being "mooned." Congrats to you all who also hit milestones! Missing a couple who started with me-- you know who you are-- hope you're ok. Have a very trying few days ahead, TWO funerals, both close neighbors. Elderly, but lively, fun, and sweet right up till the last. Makes me think about staying healthy--so important for a good life. My problem is two-fold. Terrible social anxiety (and these funerals will have LOTS of people) and, well, they're funerals. Went to a "viewing" yesterday and had my usual "I'll bet I said something wrong that made people feel worse" feelings the whole day afterward. UGH. So, when I get through tomorrow, will be past a big hurdle. I just keep telling myself Wednesday will be 10 and I want that 10 really bad! Again, thanks for the encouragement. To those with new milestones--keep it up! I'm really competitive and want to reach those same days. To newcomers, welcome.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Good to see you love a challenge Artsy, i love one too so its so good to prove people wrong in the respect that i wont drink. That will teach them. My anxiety has lessened greatly now i dont drink. its one of the aspects of being sober i so love. i dont pop xanax anymore and blame my anxiety on everything but al. i do still suffer from anxiety but 90% less than when i was drinking. Say it how you feel and dont be worried about what people think. you are you and you are sober, that is all that matters and i cant wait for you to hit day 10.

Hi Rahul, life is great isnt it sober. Glad to see you are hiking and enjoying the view from the other side.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nest. Tired as heck today - very long weekend. AL has become a topic in my house. Hubs contends that he's done with late, drunken nights. Most of the time, he has one or two and done, but occasionally he goes to a fest or concert and has way too much. I try to let him make his own decisions, but it impacts the whole family when he is "absent" the next day. I hope he DOES decide not to go there anymore.

I need a "tired day". Crazy week this week before flying to Oregon to be with his parents - who also drink. It's amazing that two short weeks has made me feel so differently about being in the company of drinkers. I feel so much stronger and able to just say, no, I'm not drinking. Period. End of story. My mom came last night and said she could leave the half bottle of red, but since I'm not drinking she would take it? (asked in a question). I told her to take it. I'll talk to her in more depth about it soon.

And PAV, I love your statement of "It was becoming a habit". Just enough info, honest - but not overly detailed. Perfect - I will be using that.

Thanks for the support everyone. It's like coming to a warm, cozy home here, twigs and feathers sung in place and warm chamomile tea being served. I appreciate this place and every one of you!

Have a wonderful AF day, I will be AF too. And if I quit, you can too.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Goooooood Morningggggggg!
How's everyone? The SUN is shining! I've heard of sun, but haven't actually seen it in quite a spell! It's good for the soul! (and I welcome it now that I'm not bleeding from my eyes in the morning!)

Welcome Black Flag! I like your name....around here we are very familiar with RED flags! Great job on getting Day 1 out of the way, it is BY FAR, the hardest of all. Day 2 will be easier!! Like Available said, stick to our site like glue, read and post!! Whatever you are thinking, someone else is too, and identifying with it. Besides, it gets it out of your head and gosh knows, there's enough going on up there at the moment!

Rahul, what a joy to hear about your mountain climbing! I am with you on the VIRTUALLY alcohol free stuff....I'm not taking that chance. I bought some .05% wine early on and eventually tossed it out. Why tempt the AL Gods with that? Certainly worked too hard to get where we are to blow it on .05% fakes! So proud of you!!

Kensho, great job on all you have going! AL isn't good for anybody's body...even 'normal' drinkers.

Artsy, I've had my fair share of funerals this past year.....trust me when I say, just showing up is enough. You don't have to have anything clever to say...there's nothing TO say, just being there for the family is ENOUGH.
I think what gives us social anxiety is lack of confidence....and what gives us fake confidence? Yep....AL. However! I have found that once I got AL out and relied on myself, the person I THOUGHT AL brought out was really under there all the time. It takes some time to realize all this, but your confidence will rise and your anxiety will fade to the background. Also, I have realized that EVERYONE has some social anxiety, even big movie stars, this is normal!! So we are not outcasts because of it, it's just a normal thing!! Being social is a skill, and you will get better at it as your AF time increases!!!

Eloise has 100 big days today!!!
Here's your One Fingered Salute to AL!!
:finger:
GREAT GOING!!!!
Have an easy day everyone!!!! xo, Byrdie

[Orimus]

Newbies Nest

Planned to have a quiet, early night after the cooking for the week was done and packed up. Meditate, a bit of yoga, some pranayama (breathing exercises) and the day started off well enough. Then I sat down to watch Saturday's Doctor Who premiere and never made it to that quiet night because that deserved a beer right? Kicking myself as I woke up at 4 in the morning and never fell back to sleep. Dragging myself into work this morning, reflecting on how my quits haven't gotten any traction over the months that I've been here I think at last my thinking may be changing from I shouldn't to I don't want to. I'll take that quiet night tonight and save the Dojang for tomorrow.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Orimus,
I'm sorry you are having a tough time getting underway....I wonder if you got ALL of the AL out of your space? You have to "Orimus-Proof" your surroundings while you are the good witch, so that when the bad witch wants to take over, he can't.
#2, check in here first BEFORE.
#3 EAT. I mean, EAT....like Thanksgiving full!

What can we do to help? Byrdie

[blackflag]

Newbies Nest

Hey everyone. Hectic day at work, but home now with a juice and about to cook tea.
Thanks for the welcome, I'll check in later on.

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon friends,

Blackflag, welcome! Stay close, read and post. The days will rack up quickly if you use the techniques here.

Rahul, congratulations on your AF time. The mountains sound beautiful. I agree with your decision on the "AF" beer. My instinct tells me that it is a bad idea.

Artsymom, congratulations on your 7 days! I found that what I thought were my anxiety issues were just a result of my drinking. I like how you posted "so when I get through tomorrow." instead of "if..." Recognizing a bump in the road before you hit it means you can plan a bit. We always speak of a PLAN, a new way of life, etc but we can also have a plan with a small "p" for just these kind of things. Maybe just write a few things down on a post it to keep in your pocket, an affirmation, an "if this, then that" type directions to yourself or anything else. You will be fine!

Kensho and Lav2, I just wanted to mention that I always enjoy reading your posts.

Orimus, I'm glad you are still in the fight! You know what to do. If alcohol is the problem, then not drinking is the solution. Some perspective would be obtained by getting some distance between you and your last drink. I am pulling for you.

Eloise, huge congratulations on 100 days!

Have a great AF day everyone.

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

Oooof - super out of it this morning (well, afternoon) but hi all! I was a bit stressy last night - my bro and the wife and my nephews came over with only a couple hours warning. I don't dislike them, but I've never been big on surprise visitors to begin with - and if they're visiting Mom I kind of "have" to participate to a point. It's something we've been working on for a long time now since even when I'm not quitting a major addiction, sometimes I'm just NOT in a people mood...but I can hardly tell Mom she can't have visitors in her own house! Plus, I haven't felt it was the right time to tell my brother about going AF. He's very not-tactful sometimes; he'll say things that he thinks are funny or "tough love" that are actually pretty mean. So I want to wait until I think I can understand his support even if he phrases it crappy. I think I also need to talk to them at some point because I've realized one thing that bugs me when they visit - they gently complain if I don't participate...but as soon as I show up the other three adults start talking and seem to assume I'll watch the kids. So then I feel left out of the conversation anyway! I'm kind of glad I noticed last night though; at at least we can talk about it now.

Anyway, it went as well as it ever does but I stayed up later than I should have afterwards eating mostly crap food so I'm alittle "ugh" today. I didn't drink though, so that's a plus!

I'm not having immediate cravings quite as often, but I do find myself having vague future thoughts. Like "Well, if I ever get married surely I'll want a glass of champagne." I'm trying not to ignore the thoughts, but to include them in the "if just one, why not none?" kind of response. On the one hand, vague future drinking isn't NOW...but I think if I get used to the idea, it could become NOW, if that makes sense? I'm also reminding myself that even with things that I legit like the taste...as soon as it hit my brain, I'd want more to keep the feeling going. And that's what will get me.

blackflag - Hi and nice to meet you! This is a great and supportive group of people and the "old timers" give great advice; so glad you came!

Byrd - I don't know if any major news picked up the story yet (Charter) but if you google "Charter internet outage" there were a bunch of smaller news sites reporting. And Charter's FB and Twitter blew up with people. Glad it's working now, anyway.

Rahul - That sounds amazing, and so glad you're enjoying yourself!

artsy - Good luck with your week; that's a lot to sort through, but I'm sure you can do it! Something I'm trying to remember is that when you look at it...most people *don't* really know what to say in a lot of situations. Everyone kind of fakes it the best they can! So as long as you do your best to be kind, you're as on top of it as anyone else. I know it doesn't feel that way, especially when social anxiety starts screaming, though. I know for me, sometimes I literally will say, "You know, I really don't know the right thing to say; but I care about you a lot and want to be here for you." Or something along those lines. I haven't had something as big as a funeral to deal with yet, but I know that in smaller situations I'm starting to be more comfortable saying things like that than when I was drinking. Seems like when I was drinking I tried WAY too hard to always say "the exact right thing" instead of just actually being in the moment?

Orimus - I think what you said is what I needed before I could take my quitting seriously - the change from "I shouldn't" to "I don't want this sort of life anymore." Glad you're still here and going to try again, good thoughts your way.

Pinecone - Thanks! Mostly I just babble, but I'm trying to at least babble honestly as much as I can.

Have a great AF day, all - I've got to try and get a few things done. Bringing my car into the shop tomorrow and I don't want to suddenly decide I need to run errands while I'm without it!

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

i think of those kind of thoughts as al brain going 'hmm, trying to get that drink didnt work, i'll try another way'. trying to wriggle its way in, in any way.

well done on getting through the initial stage cravings, see, they really do get better!