Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Everyone:

Kensho - the Bubble Hour this week was called "Getting Sober When You Live with Someone Who Drinks." In addition to self care, there are ideas about what family members do and don't do to support us. Many of us met our partners in the drinking phase of our lives - and therefore are good drinking buddies! Our getting sober can be scary, thought provoking, annoying to those of us who love us. I'm not excusing bad behavior, but it probably is at the very least confusing for your husband. Would he go to al anon?

Londoner - Welcome back. I'd listen to Ava and Lav if I were you - they seem to know what they're talking about. I hope you stick around and give yourself the life you deserve.

Pinecone - I'll check out that album - my husband may just have it somewhere.

Blackflag - Hope your day went well.

Everyone else - take care of yourselves, and don't drink, no matter what.

Pav

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Everyone:

Kensho - the Bubble Hour this week was called "Getting Sober When You Live with Someone Who Drinks." In addition to self care, there are ideas about what family members do and don't do to support us. Many of us met our partners in the drinking phase of our lives - and therefore are good drinking buddies! Our getting sober can be scary, thought provoking, annoying to those of us who love us. I'm not excusing bad behavior, but it probably is at the very least confusing for your husband. Would he go to al anon?

Londoner - Welcome back. I'd listen to Ava and Lav if I were you - they seem to know what they're talking about. I hope you stick around and give yourself the life you deserve.

Pinecone - I'll check out that album - my husband may just have it somewhere.

Blackflag - Hope your day went well.

Everyone else - take care of yourselves, and don't drink, no matter what.

Pav

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Thanks guys - today is my day 1, again. I need to be more open in my relationships. By closing myself off, I believe I make everything more extreme in my mind.

It's not all about me.

It's time to learn my lessons.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

back and ready for real

[available]

Newbies Nest

London this quit is all about you but it so does help to have support and someone you can lean on when things get tough. i have my children and i cant let them down, i stay accountable to them and myself in my sobriety. we cant take back the past but we can make a better future for ourselves by being af.

Hi Jenni and welcome back. keep on here, this was my AA and still is.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

thanks available
building my arsenal?..

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

MAE everyone. Just a quick check in before I leave for work. I'm feeling much better this morning. I've been busy getting ready for my trip. I had forgotten how helpful it is to have something to look forward to.

Kensho - I don't know your story, but I do understand how difficult it is to try and change the dynamics within an established relationship. Even if you are making healthy changes, it can be very threatening to your spouse. It's difficult, but so worth it. Best wishes to you.

Wagmore - Thanks for the warm welcome back.

LavB - I love the "now that I can drive" comment. That was always one of the most motivating things about sobriety for me - the freedom to get in a car and go anytime day or night. Thanks for the reminder.

Londoner - Hang in there, friend. Stay connected. You can do this.

Jennie - Nice to see you here. Let's kick this beast to the curb together.

Ava - As always, wonderful advice. We must always remember that our children, even adult children, need and deserve a healthy, sober parent.

And to everyone else, love and blessings. Stay strong.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters & Happy hump day

Jennie, make the commitment, get any & all AL out of the house & vow to buy no more! That plan worked for me & it will work for you as well

Kensho, my husband did eventually agree to change some of his unsatisfactory behaviors. Of course he chose a long & somewhat tortuous path but that's what he had to do. His talk therapy with the shrink & eventually a counselor helped him immensely. Stay on your plan, protect yourself & your quit no matter what

Wishing everyone a great AF day!

Lav

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

thanks lavande
that is exactly what I have done!!!!!
and going to an AA meeting during my lunch hour

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Moss, Jennie, and Star - 3 fabulous ladies who deserve the BEST - I hope you can join hands and make this your best and last quit :hug:.

You know too much now to ever again be "happy", content, unaware-of-the-consequences drinkers - it just can't be what it originally was again - fun, relaxing, an escape from worries. Just like we can't be 25 again, we can't be "normal" drinkers again. This isn't something worth fighting because there is no way to win. But we can be the best possible 50-somethings who don't want or need to escape or blur whatever time we have left.

I referred to myself as middle-aged yesterday and when my DIL looked at me kind of funny, realized No, I probably am not going to live well into my 100s... We've got to seize everyday - feel, participate, fully experience and most of all, remember.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1698676 wrote: Moss, Jennie, and Star - 3 fabulous ladies who deserve the BEST - I hope you can join hands and make this your best and last quit :hug:.

You know too much now to ever again be "happy", content, unaware-of-the-consequences drinkers - it just can't be what it originally was again - fun, relaxing, an escape from worries. Just like we can't be 25 again, we can't be "normal" drinkers again. This isn't something worth fighting because there is no way to win. But we can be the best possible 50-somethings who don't want or need to escape or blur whatever time we have left.

I referred to myself as middle-aged yesterday and when my DIL looked at me kind of funny, realized No, I probably am not going to live well into my 100s... We've got to seize everyday - feel, participate, fully experience and most of all, remember.

You've got that right NS....contrary to what we may be thinking, we aren't going to live forever. The past year and a half has been a grim reminder to me, having lost 3 very important people in my life. Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. Therefore, it makes me re-double my commitment that AL will not steal another single day of MY life. For anyone struggling to make this your first day one....stir up some anger at AL. It is AL that is doing this to us....like Lav says, make a vow and keep it! NO MORE....NOT ONE DROP, EVER! I hate AL for what it has done to me and my friends here. We are perfectly wonderful people who have turned into unrecognizable caricatures of ourselves because of this stuff in a bottle. GET ANGRY, but direct the anger where it belongs, towards AL! GET IT OUT of your house and get it out of your life. You will never regret it!! Byrdie

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Londoner, Moss, jenni- best wishes starting again, may this time be the time that sticks. MAE all ..Been busy last few days at work so haven't checked in too much (but somehow managed to reach my 30 day mark anyway)...it does feel good, and it is worth all the pain for all the reasons we have cited here before.... hang in there folks and stay AF however you have to do it

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Londoner, Moss, jenni- best wishes starting again, maybe this time be the time that sticks. MAE all ..Been busy last few days at work so haven't checked in too much (but somehow managed to reach my 30 day mark anyway)...it does feel good, and it is worth all the pain for all the reasons we have cited here before.... hang in there and AF (btw, anyone seen Fin and few others who seemed to have dropped off also?)

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

STL,
Congratulations on your 30 big days!!! We had the hat ceremony over on roll call but if you missed, it:
:goodtime:

THANK YOU for all the support you give here in the nest. As you know, it's a very special place! We are all so proud of your accomplishment!! B

[Overit-still]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone. Back yet again. No excuses but the roller coaster has got to stop...........