Newbies Nest

[blackflag]

Newbies Nest

That's a good call G. I'll have a look into getting that sorted.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Pie, really sorry to hear about the paint fumes affecting you like that
Hope you feel better very soon!

Welcome back Fat fella, stick around

blackflag, congrats on your 7 AF days! Great work!

Has anyone ever visited the ToDo Institute website?
I found it years ago when looking for alternative & natural ways to deal with ADHD for my nephew. They have a wealth of information on mental health wellness based on Japanese psychology using Naikan & Morita therapy. I've been a member there for over 10 years but you can do a lot of free reading
The ToDo Institute: Mindfulness, Procrastination, and Gratitude using Morita and Naikan Therapies

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

NewStartNow;1703310 wrote: Day 7 and made it through the weekend! Question - how do you learn to love and accept yourself? Ever since I was a child, I remember thinking I was somehow less than others. I searched for love and approval in all the wrong places. Now in my 40's, I still struggle with self esteem. I know this is at the core of my problems, but I just can't seem to get to that place of peace and happiness. How have others changed these negative thoughts when they are so ingrained?

NewStart, around here, 7 days scores you a prize!!
:moon:
A Full Moon! You have kicked Al's arse for one full week! You ahve conquered every single day the week can throw at you!! No butts about it, those first 7 days are the hardest!
I couldnt help but see a thread you began about when do you know you cant moderate. i have been around here about 5 years. When I first joined, I knew in my heart of hearts that I needed to quit. You probably know that, too. It was only after I joined here and tried to do my 30 days AF that I realized I just couldnt do it. I tried and tried. Then I started reading over on the moderation boards. That seemed to be exactly what I wanted to do! Yeah, it all made sense, I would JUST CONTROL it! Right? WRONG! The problem is, once we get here, we are beyond controlling it anymore. The only people who can moderate are the ones that dont realize they are doing it. Sure, some may be able to do for a short spell, but it ALWAYS creeps back up and beyond where you left off. If you really follow folks over there, they aren't moderating at all...they are all going beyond the recommended limits and even their own set limits ( which are ALWAYS more than the guidelines). To make a long story short, I have never seen anyone sucessfully moderate. Never. Not one. Ever. The whole premise of moderation on this site is by using those hardcore drugs ( not willpower). And even then, I have still not seen successful long term moderation. Now I know the addict in all of us say, BUT I'M THE EXCEPTION! Sadly, we are not. But this is the good news, by learning this sooner than later, you can avoid the devastion of being on that awful rollercoaster. I never drank harder than the year I moderated. By coming to the realization that this is not a realiztic goal, and getting on your AF way, you will find the peace and happiness you seek! You will EARN your self respect back! You will feel NORMAL!
Since I tried this myself, I have had a keen eye to see if I was the onlu flop. I have not been. I am in good company...NOBODY can do it. Addiction doesnt take a vacation, it stays with us for life. We can not moderate addiction, try as we might. It helped me tremendously to admit and accept this. Stay with us!!! You wont be sorry! Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

[QUOTE=Byrdlady;1703468]NewStart, around here, 7 days scores you a prize!!
:moon:
getting on your AF way, you will find the peace and happiness you seek! You will EARN your self respect back!

I SO second that Byrdie! I've not felt this much peace, happiness and self-respect - genuinely earned - since I was, well in early childhood. And I'm only on day 34! TRY 30 days AF and your life will change!!!

LAV, I can't wait to read that site - looks so very interesting!!! Thanks for sharing!

Have a good night everyone!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Everyone:

So much to read today. I am being overly triggered by an incident at work and I can't work out what is causing it. It is making me emotional and for the first time in a long time I had thoughts of a drink (Hi, Frances!). Boy that hit out of nowhere. A good reminder about complacency and staying vigilant against this alcohol beast.

Pepper - I really appreciated your post. You, too, LavB - that's the point of recovery groups. We are all here to help each other stay sober. You have a lot to add!

I am going to offer two resources. One is the Bubble Hour on Denial - Let's Talk About Denial. You can listen to the podcast by finding it on iTunes (and download to a mobile device if you want, with the podcast app). You can also stream it directly from the website. I challenge you to listen, Sarah, and anyone trying to decide to stay sober today.

The other is a "ponderable" from an AA meeting that my friend (a normie with a dad in recovery) sent me during my first month. I REALLY appreciate it - and I think you will see that the strong desire to think of ourselves as different is something that gets in the way of our getting sober. I hope it helps:

"But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.

So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program- not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of-or perhaps in response to those hardships.

Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.

Just for Today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it.

Stay close, Frances (there is also a Bubble Hour on Relapse Prevention that includes complacency as a major factor).

Ok, everyone. I'm going to listen to that Bluegrass link and eat some dinner.

Stay close, and listen to those successful sober people. They're here to help.

Pav

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Everyone:

So much to read today. I am being overly triggered by an incident at work and I can't work out what is causing it. It is making me emotional and for the first time in a long time I had thoughts of a drink (Hi, Frances!). Boy that hit out of nowhere. A good reminder about complacency and staying vigilant against this alcohol beast.

Pepper - I really appreciated your post. You, too, LavB - that's the point of recovery groups. We are all here to help each other stay sober. You have a lot to add!

I am going to offer two resources. One is the Bubble Hour on Denial - Let's Talk About Denial. You can listen to the podcast by finding it on iTunes (and download to a mobile device if you want, with the podcast app). You can also stream it directly from the website. I challenge you to listen, Sarah, and anyone trying to decide to stay sober today.

The other is a "ponderable" from an AA meeting that my friend (a normie with a dad in recovery) sent me during my first month. I REALLY appreciate it - and I think you will see that the strong desire to think of ourselves as different is something that gets in the way of our getting sober. I hope it helps:

"But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.

So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program- not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of-or perhaps in response to those hardships.

Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.

Just for Today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it.

Stay close, Frances (there is also a Bubble Hour on Relapse Prevention that includes complacency as a major factor).

Ok, everyone. I'm going to listen to that Bluegrass link and eat some dinner.

Stay close, and listen to those successful sober people. They're here to help.

Pav

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Thank you for that post, Pav - it was perfect and beautiful. LavB and Daisy, thank you to both of you as well for sharing your wisdom and experience so eloquently! The depth of caring for one another in this nest never ceases to amaze me.

[JWP]

Newbies Nest

Hi All,

I made it through Days 5 and 6 without a drink, for which I am grateful. However, I ate enough peanut butter M&Ms today to amount to the same calories as a bottle of wine. I'm not happy about that, but I realize it's better than drinking. I know I should try to focus on everything I did right today, like workout with my trainer, go for a run after work, spend quality time with my son - all good things. And tomorrow's a new day. Tomorrow I won't eat M&Ms like it's my job. I promise.

Sleep well everyone.

JWP

[blackflag]

Newbies Nest

Good post pav!
Jwp, I've been eating chocolate biscuits like I'm the cookie monster, but I've not been drinking, so until I've got a handle on al, I'm not too worried about it.
Have a cool Tuesday everyone.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Yeeha...day 3 and the jitters are starting to subside! Today it is sunny and that is how I feel inside.....total relief at getting back! This is my time!

[Pie]

Newbies Nest

Yay, Daisy! Enjoy your sunny day, inside and out!

[frances]

Newbies Nest

Pav it's definitely crazy how those thoughts can creep up out of practically nowhere! So glad to have MWO to come to and folks who really care!

Sarah so much wonderful thoughts and advice and perspective given here, I hope it can make a difference for you.

Have a great AF Day everyone and stay close especially if you're feeling weak!

[NewStartNow]

Newbies Nest

Day 8 for me. Have lost 5 pounds and am starting to feel good. Have been under the weather with a cold, so have not felt so hot lately due to that. I feel strong right now. Shooting for 30 to start, then one day at at time. I do better with smaller goals, then gradually work toward the bigger ones.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

NSN, Congrats on your 8 AF days - nice!
Hope you are feeling 100% soon.

Pav, frances & everyone -
After a period of AF time, remember drinking thoughts are just thoughts. They're not cravings, you don't have to act on them. Recognize them then immediately put them away. It takes a good bit of time for us to rewire our brains. I recognize those thoughts as habitual thinking but our habits will change in time

Have a great AF Tuesday everyone!

Lav

[abcowboy]

Newbies Nest

Morning all! It's great to enjoy my morning coffee and read and feel the enthusiasm and determination to stay sober!! My last post I explained a bit about myself and my road to recovery, so now more about myself. Divorced father of 4 grown children, remarried 14 years ago and my new bride and I are just enjoying the 4, no new ones. I call my wife Bubba, a nickname I gave her when we got our almost 5 year old chocolate lab, Hank as a puppy.

G-man and BF, great idea with the guitar picks! Just anything that is special to you that you carry with daily, I know it works for me, just a gentle reminder when the AV whispers.....

NSN, great going with 8 days! Keep your goals simple, just as long or short as you can handle them and the days and months will add up for you!

I hope you all enjoy cowboy poetry, I seem to be able to get out my thoughts and feelings better that way......my story in poetry.....


Sobriety

Bubba tells me the other day, that I need to write a poem
All about sobriety and the good things that it’s shown
And now that I've quit drinking, things have changed so much
So now I sit and ponder on life and death and such

So, I’ll start at the beginning, when I found myself alone
Twenty years of marriage ended, and no place to call home
I’d sit and drink and wonder if, my life had reached it’s end
And then I met Bubba and we soon became good friends

I had to work two jobs just to make ends meet
But she told me to look ahead, I’d get back on my feet
The child support payments took all I had and more
But I always managed to find money to spend at the liquor store

We used to drink together as if we didn’t have a care
And tales of the past, present, and future, together we did share
I found myself in love again, I’d do it right this time
I knew I found my one true love who would share her life with mine

She put down the bottle, but no matter how hard I tried
I just couldn’t give it up, and so many nights she cried
And so the day had come to pass, the booze just had to go
I knew that it would be hard and the journey would be slow

So now things have changed, of sobriety I am glad
No more stress, anxiety, and always being mad
I take each day as it comes, no problem is that big
That I need to grab a bottle, and take that first long swig

Sobriety means to me being happy most every single day
Good orderly direction in each and every way
Being kind to others, just let the anger slide
Wear my heart upon my sleeve, I have nothing left to hide

These are just thoughts that to most, don’t mean all that much
But Bubba lived the story, the lies, the hurt, and such
So now with life renewed, to her I make this vow
I’ll stay the man she used to know, one day at a time is how!