Newbies Nest

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Newbies Nest

Hi VI and welcome to getting sober, its the best thing i have done in my life apart from the children of course. A lot of us that are succeeding post on here a few times a day, it keeps us accountable and honest in our sobriety. Yep the early days are a bitch cant disagree on that one and it does not entice me to start a day 1 ever again. Just take it one day at a time and for that day dont drink. I owe my new life to the folks on here and its my AA. Who knows an alky better than another alky!

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Newbies Nest

Hi VI and welcome to getting sober, its the best thing i have done in my life apart from the children of course. A lot of us that are succeeding post on here a few times a day, it keeps us accountable and honest in our sobriety. Yep the early days are a bitch cant disagree on that one and it does not entice me to start a day 1 ever again. Just take it one day at a time and for that day dont drink. I owe my new life to the folks on here and its my AA. Who knows an alky better than another alky!

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello VI,

Welcome ! You are at a right place ... I too have been a heavy beer drinking and got sober thanks to the support I got at this site ! Congrats on day one ... Do checkout toolbox which will give you some tools to work on your sobriety. There are some wonderful posts there ...

Take care and stay on path

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Good evening! Thanks to everyone for your good thoughts for me and my daughter. She's healing. I spent much of today with hubs moving computer files form PC to Mac, so access to computer was limited!

Matt - I so appreciate your post! It's so lovely to know that I have friends walking this hard path WITH me. My heart warmed when I read your supportive words. I'm here for you too!~

Daisy, I'm so glad you got through your wine night. Sometimes it's grit and sweat - but we never regret!

London, I SO resonate with your desire to have mental strength and clarity and physical vitality - it is one of my biggest motivators now. I want to be as healthy as possible so I can enjoy life to its max! I am so glad you are climbing up to something wonderful from your bottom.

AVA. Just lookin at the sky. Isn't it wonderful when we can appreciate these moments? You said so much of what being AF is: confident, not hiding, content, not afraid. I loved every word you wrote.

Cowboy, lovely thoughts in general.

Thanks Pepper.

LAV, also added to my "must keep" list of phrases: I see AL as something that could end my life in one way or another. Well put, as always.

Rahul, Loved the idea of meeting another you. Isn't that awesome to find another someone in your shoes? At first, I made up reasons not to drink, and I think that we do what we need to do. I have found myself more comfortable these days just saying I don't drink. Either Ava or Lav said, "Being an alcoholic is nothing to be ashamed of". I have so much more self respect for myself now, and I think it shows. Everyone is different, but I haven't found that people look down on me - just the opposite. Only the people who are afraid to look at their drinking have had any words - and I feel they are talking more to themselves than me. I know you are proud of the work you have done. If you ever wanted to try the truth, I bet you would be surprised by the response!

Hugs and downy warm wishes to all here.

OH, and WELCOME VirtualInsanity. I'm so glad you posted and joined the nest! Hope you are having a good night!!

Good night...

[JWP]

Newbies Nest

Day 11, dry and done. I'm tired and going to bed.

Thanks for all the support friends.

JWP

[VirtualInsanity]

Newbies Nest

Thank you all.

I'm up, awake and feeling positive this Sunday morning. I've had my kudzu, milk thistle and my orange flavour efforvescent multivitimin tab in a pint of water already and that's before even reaching for the coffee. I think it certainly was a good idea to make my last night of drinking ever a sedate one. I had just the one 2l bottle of cider instead of what would usually be 2-3 and as a heavy drinker, that wasn't really enough to have me too drunk so although I had a late night I've woken up feeling not too bad. I had really wanted to make yesterday my day one, however the withdrawal was basolutely killing me so I had a smaller than usual amount of drinks just to level me out and today I don't feel like going straight out to buy more which will make at least the first part of today a little easier. I guess I've got to be glad of the small victories.

Hope you all have a good day in the Nest.

[frances]

Newbies Nest

MAE all! Just a quick check-in before church. Being clear headed and hangover free is an ongoing benefit of being AF that keeps on giving! I had so so many 'just got to get through this' mornings before I finally quit, it feels good to know those days are gone!

VI welcome - I hope you have a great day and stay close!

[VirtualInsanity]

Newbies Nest

frances;1705610 wrote: MAE all! Just a quick check-in before church. Being clear headed and hangover free is an ongoing benefit of being AF that keeps on giving! I had so so many 'just got to get through this' mornings before I finally quit, it feels good to know those days are gone!

VI welcome - I hope you have a great day and stay close!

Thank you, Frances! I totally agree with you on clear-headed and hangover free mornings - I feel great today, even though I did have a few drinks last night so if I can just get through today, tomorrow morning will be better still and so on and so forth and I am looking forward to that but I'm under no illusion that the journey will be an easy one. Challenge accepted though!

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning friends,

It's cool and grey weather where I am. I love this time of year. I went hiking the other day and it was very misty on top of the mountain but still fun.

LavBlue, belated congratulations on your 30 days. I appreciate your honest posts.

Kensho, I think you are on the right track making health and fitness central to your quit. So much good can come from it.

JWP great job on your 11 days!

Hi NS and Ava! It is ALWAYS good to read your words.

Welcome VirtualInsanity! Sticking around here will put you in a good frame of mind. You can just read and read way back if you want more proof. The message hasn't changed; we all came here destroyed in some way by alcohol. Getting sober can be a little tough at first (but truly not as bad as we feared), living free from drinking is relief, and hanging on to the shred that we are different and maybe can control it causes misery. Now we get to write our own stories instead of being the victim of a hungover life. Quitting drinking has improved every single area of my life. You won't ever regret quitting, I promise.

[abcowboy]

Newbies Nest

Morning fellow Nesters!!

I see we have a new nester among us! :welcome: VI! Great to see you joining us and looking forward to hearing lots from you as you journey down this road with us! The old saying "when the going gets tough, the tough get going" was written for the RA I'm sure!! But it sure doesn't hurt to have some help and support when the going gets tough... So, read and post and keep coming back, all it takes is one day at a time!

Hoping this Sunday MAE is finding all of you getting through the weekend without too many struggles! Yesterday, I had to go to work for a few hours as a job that I'm working on was ready for the in-floor heat to be put in the garage. When I went out to my truck, I discovered a low tire on my truck, so it meant a trip to our farm to repair that first. This morning, when I took Hank out to do his morning "business" I noticed the tire is even lower than it was yesterday! So much for my tire repair skills lol. Not that long ago, something as simple as this would have gotten me mad and given me an excuse to crack open beer after beer! But this morning, my thoughts are how an active alcoholic mind works, finding any excuse to get wasted! Whoever coined the word "wasted" for being drunk had no idea how right they were, I "wasted" a good many years of my life, but with MWO and AA, not any more!!

And so my friends, the weekend is drawing to a close, another workweek ahead of us with it's own challenges for us to face, let's all do it sober eh!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Fellow Nesters!
Eloise, it's with great pride that I can offer this small token of a job well done!
:monalisa:
Congratulations on 120 days! Who'da thought in 100 years that you'd be giving advice on a NO drinking forum???? Life is funny that way! We appreciate all you do on our boards here, especially in the nest. Well done on 4 big months!!

Virtual, welcome aboard! Might I offer a tip to you as you go thru today...if you are committed to this being your day 1, get ALL of the AL out of your space. If it is sitting around you will find a justification to use it. It will sprout heads and start speaking in tongues to you..... Best thing is to get it all out. I know it's hard to do, and I resisted this one a lot, but I wasn't able to succeed until I did it. You don't need a safety net because you are not going to fall! Also, be sure to eat! Staying full will really help you fight off those urges! We are so glad you're here!

JWP, hang in there til Day 13, good things happen around that time, something changes in your thinking! You realize this really IS something you can do (and be happy about it!) GREAT job on 11 days!!! That is epic!

Lav, T minus 1 day! I hope you are planning to post on Roll Call so we can make a fuss!! 2000 days is mind-boggling!

Have a great day, everyone! Byrdie

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

Hi all! So I think finally deciding to make a habit of exercise was pretty timely for me. A friend of mine ticked me off hugely last night, in a situation where I couldn't really mention it because it was public. I guess the short story is they'd promised me something a week ago, and promised me something else that morning...and then not only didn't do either of them for me, but did both for a few other people spur of the moment. I left the situation, which was good; but I was still stewing and upset and thinking about what I wish I could have said.

Anger is probably the thing I deal with worst. I think it's because I do have a temper, but I learned when I was a teen that I really have to handle it carefully. The dark side of my empathy means if I'm angry, I can be very hurtful with my words. Problem is I went too far the other way and started just trying to never be angry so I'm kind of a mess at the middle ground of being ok with my anger and ok with expressing it. Then of course, I started drinking whenever I wasn't sure what to do which only made everything worse.

I did not drink last night, though - I got on the exercise bike instead. I'll be honest that I'm still pretty ticked about it this morning, but I didn't drink, I did get sleep, and I also didn't send any half drunk messages. I can decide how to deal with it when I'm ready instead of having to work around AL and drunk messages. I don't have to worry so much that I'll totally go off the deep end OR that I'll wilt immediately into acting like it didn't make me mad or hurt my feelings. I don't feel as much like it must somehow be my own fault or it's all my responsibility to fix. I'm responsibie for myself and my feelings, and acting in ways that fit my morals - I'm not responsible for how other people think about it. And I'm allowed to have boundaries for the ways people treat me, darn it!

VI - Welcome to the Nest! I'm a lot like you in having had other experiences with forums that were very helpful to me. This one definitely is, too. I'm sorry your other one folded though, that's a shame. Good going on beginning the AF journey; we're all here to help! And listen to the "old timers" when they give advice, they definitely know what they're talking about!

Pinecone - Thank you! I keep thinking I should just journal; but it feels really good telling people. And you all have been so supportive that I should share so...I'm going to keep trying!

[Eloise]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1705643 wrote: Good Morning, Fellow Nesters!
Eloise, it's with great pride that I can offer this small token of a job well done!
:monalisa:
Congratulations on 120 days! Who'da thought in 100 years that you'd be giving advice on a NO drinking forum???? Life is funny that way! We appreciate all you do on our boards here, especially in the nest. Well done on 4 big months!!

Byrdie

So true Byrdie! Actually giving advice on drinking would be about the last idea that would have popped into my mind. All of this helps though, it really does. As does keeping the approach to this problem as positive as possible. It is all good, every day AF is a positive one. We can all do this, it is harder for some though and we must not loose sight of that. We are not all the same, which is where the empathy and compassion comes in, right?
Love the MonaLisa smile, hahah! Good pick and thank you for everything you do here. X

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone. Just needing to vent for a moment. I'm feeling pretty upset with my husband. He doesn't do half the chores, and when there is a sick child, he leaves it all up to me - getting up at night, taking temps and giving medicine, dealing with neediness. It's getting really old, and I'm letting him know. He thinks I'm bickering and not fun to talk to, but I just think I'm not putting up with his crap as much as before - when I would just go get a drink to deal. It sounds all bad - which it's not. He's a very affectionate father, great with money management, very funny & social, adventurous, musical, tidy, etc. I love him, but I'm not really interested in continuing to do more than my fair share.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I'm glad I'm not running to the basement for a shot of something numbing. But now I have to deal with the discomfort of "how the hell do I fix this??" I'm operating on the belief that sobriety will give me the clarity and strength to figure it out.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Kensho (and LavB),
Anger is a very powerful emotion and there is a reason it is one of the 4 big triggers for us. I have a hot temper also, and there are a couple things I do to save myself from it. What I have learned about anger is that it all stems from someone's needs NOT being met. Pretty simple, but it applies. Can you possibly have a conversation with your hubs to explain to him what you need him to do? Men are pretty simple beings and do tasks very well ( sorry guys!). If I sit down and explain to him what I need and why, it really helps.
I try and ask myself in a year, will this BIG ISSUE matter? Sometimes its actually ME who is being unreasonable ( hard as that is to believe). Take a step back and prioritize. I use the very same skills to tackle these things as I did when I quit drinking....one step at a time....one day at a time. Sort thru the feelings and stop and take a breath.
Stop
Observe
Breathe
Experience
Respond

Hugs to you both, Byrdie