Mr G, be grateful tomorrow is day 50 for you and for today you will not drink. Everyday i am grateful to wake up sober and stay that way. Hugs your way today.
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Happy anniversary Lav! Otherwise just checking in quick now that we're up. Let's see if I can learn the format here, now. :P I know you said helpful things about anger yesterday Byrd - so thank you for that. Pretty brain dead at the moment - I'm ok, but emotional BLAH is tiring. Headed to bed soon, I think - hope everyone is doing well and adjusting alright to the new site! EDIT: I swear the site told me the first two attempts were invalid, that's the only reason I spammed. xDI am stubborn as a pig - but changing what I'm being stubborn about!
Cigarette Free On: 9/23/2014
AF on: 8/12/2014
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Newbies Nest
Happy anniversary Lav! Otherwise just checking in quick now that we're up. Let's see if I can learn the format here, now. =P I know you said helpful things about anger yesterday Byrd - so thank you for that. Pretty brain dead at the moment - I'm ok, but emotional BLAH is tiring. Headed to bed soon, I think - hope everyone is doing well and adjusting alright to the new site!I am stubborn as a pig - but changing what I'm being stubborn about!
Cigarette Free On: 9/23/2014
AF on: 8/12/2014
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Newbies Nest
Happy anniversary Lav! Otherwise just checking in quick now that we're up. Let's see if I can learn the format here, now! I know you said helpful things about anger yesterday Byrd - so thank you for that. Pretty brain dead at the moment - I'm ok, but emotional BLAH is tiring. Headed to bed soon, I think - hope everyone is doing well and adjusting alright to the new site!I am stubborn as a pig - but changing what I'm being stubborn about!
Cigarette Free On: 9/23/2014
AF on: 8/12/2014
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Newbies Nest
Hello everyone. I'm back after an abject wagon dismount in January. Its now September. My how time flies. Yesterday my status was 'exhausted'. Today it feels less so. Looking forward to my autumn which I hope will be AF. Going to be tough at times, but I know (from previous 18 month period AF) what it feels like once I get past 60 days. The resolve builds, the commitment builds and you begin to forget life pissed. Just as when you are pissed you forget life sober. This is my biggest problem. I always forget just HOW bad I am when I drink, when I haven't had a drink for a while. I forget that I am a bad person when I drink. I forget how tired it makes me. I forget how sad I get the next day. I forget how miserable life is on drink. I also think sobriety fools me into thinking that I am not an alcoholic. Whoops. I am one, but then 99.9 % of the people here are as well, so that don't make me feel quite so bad. So hello all you alkies, I am back on the road (yes running every day again) to recovery I hope.
Musomatt
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Newbies Nest
Hi Muso and glad you found the nest. Dont hope to be af, be af. You know the slog you face with sobriety but its doable and its a great life sober. I am not even tempted to drink, i know i cant, end of story. I wish sometimes i could have one or two drinks but i am an alcoholic, its like my son having one smoke of ice/crack, he cant, he is a recovering addict just like i am a recovering addict. We all want what we cant have but its our choice at the end of the day and i choose not to pour al down my throat. After a 20+ year drinking career its now time to have a better life i am having it. Be proud of your af time and know that you will achieve that again. keep accountable by being on here and reading and posting. Keep running and keep busy.AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom
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Newbies Nest
Morning, Nesters!
Getting the lay of the land here! I feel a real victory in figuring out how to reply!! xo, B
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Newbies Nest
GMAE everyone. Welcome to the new and somewhat confusing site (the spell check seems to work better though). Late congrats Lav, I was out yesterday. Huge accomplishment! Stay strong everyone.“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness”- Desmond Tutu
STL
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Newbies Nest
Lav! 5.5 years? Outstanding. Thanks for all your leadership around here -- greatly appreciated.Achieved Goals: Getting Back to Working on This Project!
Goal In Progress...1 YEAR
Instructions on posting to Roll Call:
- Visit https://www.mywayout.org/community/sh...Nest-Roll-Call / copy & paste the existing names into a new post (+ Reply to Thread button upper left of forum page) and add your Name - Days
Go forward boldly and unafraid
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Newbies Nest
Checking in at my normalish time, this time! It's crazy how much just changing the forum makes it less intuitive to reply. This one isn't really set up like others I've been on (unlike the other one) so that's probably part of it. Still AF though I've not been watching my eating the last couple days. I figure if I'm going to be depressed and cranky it's better to eat than get tempted to drink AL. I can almost promise you how things will end up with my friend though - he'll say he just didn't notice the way he acted. This is where I run into trouble - my toxic/abusive ex did a lot of "not noticing" how his actions affected me and in that case I shouldn't have believed him. This is a close friend rather than a dating partner, but I still don't always trust myself in that situation to know when I should let it go and when I need to have firm boundaries. It's always harder with friends anyway - most people (me included!) will take behavior from "friends" that they'd never take from a partner.
But I am sober, so at least I feel like I'm explaining myself better than I used to. "We agreed on this, but then you did this opposite thing. So now I'm confused and kind of hurt, here," instead of garbled rambling. "Breaking up" with AL has also given me back more perspective for relationships, I think. I'm 99% independent with people, but sometimes I get a bit addicted to that 1%. I "need" their approval because I've developed the habit of needing it...much like AL. My world won't actually come crashing down if I need some time apart, it only feels that way because I'm in the habit. If that makes any sense at all.
Time to find food - wishing everyone a great, AF day!I am stubborn as a pig - but changing what I'm being stubborn about!
Cigarette Free On: 9/23/2014
AF on: 8/12/2014
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Newbies Nest
Lav Blue,
I learned pretty early on that this isn't a popularity contest...I was in the fight of my life. If my NOT drinking did harm to any relationship, then so be it. AL was killing me and it was a choice I had to make and one I'm glad I did. I'm not in this for anyone else! Don't let your friend use this bullying tactic to get you to cave. Deep down, I imagine he wishes he had your AF day count! You don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you are AF. Protect your quit as if your life depended on it....cause it does!! Byrdie
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Newbies Nest
Congrats LAV ! The place is new I am getting used to this pace ... Quite a change these forums.Rahul
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Rewiring my brain ... done ...
Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
Rebooting ... done ...
Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...
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Newbies Nest
Two weeks down and feeling the relapse coming. Must...Stay...Strong. AL is NOT an option anymore. I don't want to go back to Day 1...ever. The little voice is back trying to negotiate. Shut the f up.Achieved Goals: Getting Back to Working on This Project!
Goal In Progress...1 YEAR
Instructions on posting to Roll Call:
- Visit https://www.mywayout.org/community/sh...Nest-Roll-Call / copy & paste the existing names into a new post (+ Reply to Thread button upper left of forum page) and add your Name - Days
Go forward boldly and unafraid
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