Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

KENSHO;n2511387 wrote:

How can I possibly be thinking it? I like how I feel now. I feel strong, in control (yet overwhelmed with stress of work and kids), and am beginning to FIX things in my life - like cleaning out office and files - like being a better mom to my sick little one - like having an honest and calm conversation with hubs - and showing him some real affection (I really have been a bad partner). Why in the WORLD would I want to change that? The only answer is "for others". And that is not how I am supposed to live my life. I think hubs just needs to catch up a bit - I've only just begun to tell him the gritty details.

Thanks for listening. This feels hard, but as Matt says, so am I. Bring it.

Bring it on indeed my friend.

Great post Kensho. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, as i for one ( like most folk) get a lot out of it. Sounds like you are getting into a realistic and healthy headspace. Keep it going. This is the right direction and it is your truth.

Thanks LavB! You're doing fab mate.

I was feeling in a bit of a funk too the last couple of days Matt, but that passed and kicking arse now. Hope you're feeling better there.

No baby seals were injured in the making of this post. I'm a hard heavy metal mofo, and staying hard. Too hard for AL or depression.

Have a pearler out there y'all. G

[available]

Newbies Nest

Pinecone very wise words to kensho. Protect your quit with your life as at the end of the day it is your life you are protecting. If people say you can moderate you know that is not true and now is the time to be honest and say it as it is. I have had people tell me that i have done 9 months surely i can have a drink. Surely yes i can have one drink but i will not stop after that. I am a normal drinker now and apparently if i did drink i can control it. No i am not a normal drinker i am an alcoholic. We know what we are. Your husband wants his drinking buddy back but he has to adjust also. It is not fair though on us to be told we have proven a point as this is our choice and our life. I celebrated my 50th birthday sober and with jetlag and the flu after a two week holiday with dragon mother (that is what i used to call my mum bless her) and i was at your days. I also thought i will just have a couple, i will be okay, fark it, its my birthday, its my decision, its my life BUT then i thought of all i went through to get to where i am, the withdrawals again scared me but i thought of my past life drinking and knew in my heart i could not take that chance. I can never take that chance just like you cant Kensho or Matt. It was very brave of you Kensho to give your hubs your first post, that takes guts and also shows you are strong in this. I have offered to show my children my thread on my story but thus far they have declined but the door is open in their time. They seen me drunk, blacked out, falling into walls, falling over, listening to a conversation 100 times. They dont want that person back. I dont want that person back and you dont want who you were back. Do whatever it takes Kensho but believe me having one drink or a couple will take you further back than when you started. Just because we have days up doesnt mean that we dont still think of "just one", its having the strength to work through these thoughts and feelings that keep us going. My memory is a powerful tool on keeping me sober.

STL i love blood tests ha ha. in my drinking career i always told myself i would stop drinking for 5 weeks (pick a number Ava!) and then have a test. God i could not stop drinking for one day so thus the blood test never got done. When i did have a test a month after stopping everything was fine. A miracle i reckon. I used to be petrified about going to the drs. How many do you drink in a week Ava? Oh about 5 or 6 doctor. I meant bottles but he meant glasses and even then i was lying. He still has not asked that question again, damn him!

Lavb, we dont magically sort shit out when we get sober and its hard when we dont have al to hide behind anymore but we can only take life one day at a time and do the best we can. The thought of failure was petrifying for me and not making everyone happy also but i am not god or whatever, i am me. Oh god patience, that is one of my biggest problems and my kids hate it. if i want something done, well i wanted it done 5 minutes ago please and thank you. i did not raise mind readers though!

A few mwoers cant get on as they have no POST button, byrd being one and NS another so there are still bugs on here. Hi guys! Bet its killing you ha ha.

No one is worth drinking AT, FOR or WITH. Keep strong everyone.

[Pie]

Newbies Nest

available;n2511506 wrote:

A few mwoers cant get on as they have no POST button, byrd being one and NS another so there are still bugs on here. Hi guys! Bet its killing you ha ha.

Byrdie and NoSugar, Have you considered registering and posting under a temp username until things get sorted out?

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Thank you everyone. Truly, heartfelt. :h

On another note, I miss my badass Byrdie, and Ms. NS!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Pie - I wonder if Byrdie & NS are remembering to log in?
I wish the log in area (in the upper right corner of the page) was more visible....

Kensho, I really hope you are OK
When I quit drinking I did it under my terms & in my own good time. Anyone else's opinions (husband & kids) were not important at the time & they still aren't. What matters most is what YOU think & feel. Don't let anyone else get involved in your decision making process. You know yourself better than anyone I hope you child is feeling better by now.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. Hang on everyone, you won't be sorry

Lav

[Matt M.]

Newbies Nest

Guitarista;n2511503 wrote:

Bring it on indeed my friend.

Great post Kensho. Thanks for sharing your thouhts here, as i for one ( like most folk) get a lot out of it. Sounds like you are getting into a realistic and healthy headspace. Keep it going. This is the right direction and it is your truth.

Thanks LavB! You're doing fab mate.

I was feeling in a bit of a funk too the last couple of days Matt, but that passed and kicking arse now. Hope you're feeling better there.

No baby seals were injured in the making of this post. I'm a hard heavy metal mofo, and staying hard. Too hard for AL or depression.

Have a pearler out there y'all. G

Good stuff my friend! Baby Seals that's funny I don't care who you are!
Thanks for the shout outs everyone , started feeling a little better today, went out for a run( good thing there are not seals in Tx, it would have been on)
I know for a fact that this restless, irritable feeling is a mere fraction of the way I would feel if I go back to Al Hell. I must protect my quit at all cost. Good to have you folks here to give advice even though I'm a bit of a wise ass.
Lav, Ava~ You gals are consistently spot on with your replies, I hope to gain that wisdom

Fin~ You sound strong.

Hope everyone has a great evening..Your champions Stay Hard!

Bryd& NS/ It may be a blessing that you can't post, it has taken me 30 F&$! ing minutes to type this on my phone. I need a baby seal!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Glad you are feeling better Matt and yes our quit is our baby and needs protecting at all times. Your not a wise ass, your a man, lol!

Oh i found out Byrd and NS have a "like" button but cant post. I dont have a "like" button. They are not feeling blessed, they are feeling frustrated, its amusing me though.

Matt i am not sure it is wisdom or bulls##t but if it helps then i am all for it and you will get to gain that freedom and wisdom, you have it now.

Lav they have tried everything but alas no luck for them. Hi girls!!!!!!!

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

Hi all. Just wanted to stop by and say congrats to Lav on 2000 days! How inspiring. I am having a hard time navigating the new site, but think I'm finally getting the hang of it. I heard that Byrdie and NS were locked out. That is truly awful. We miss you two!!!

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hi All,

I loved the video which FIN posted about a doc govjng presentation about how brain works etc. He brings all the point in quote a wonderful way. Definately worth a watch.

Congrats to LAV for 2000 days !! This is super !!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Matt M.;n2511350 wrote: Between that and trying to figure out how to navigate this new sight, makes me want to punch a baby seal jk.

Hah! This made me laugh out loud, Matt. That's about the feeling some of the time. It comes and goes still for me after 9 months, but I can say that it comes much less often and with less force each time.

Kensho - I admire your resolve! It would be very tempting for me if everyone was telling me I could moderate. I feel like you do, now, though. There is no way I would go back to drinking. Moderation is NOT going to happen in the true sense of the word - taking or leaving alcohol.

I was out at my kids' back to school night tonight and am TIRED. I hope Byrdie and NS get back here soon!

xo
Pav

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,
I hope they get back soon though

Stay on your chose paths/plans today guys & you'll have nothing to regret & one more AF day to add to your total!!!!!
Wishing everyone a terrific AF Thursday!

Lav

[Rivergal]

Newbies Nest

Whew! Finally able to get on. Thanks Zach! Apparently subscribers permission to use had issues! I now realize how much I miss and need all of you!!! Birdie & NoSugar, where are you????

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning friends, attempting to post to see if I am still in the Gulag!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

We've been stranded on Gilligan's Island over in the subscriber's thread - the only place we could post! It was weird to be able to read but have to BE QUIET!

[available]

Newbies Nest

glad to have you all back. I was having a happy time waving at you though! A woman being quiet NS, surely not. I hope we all behaved while you were stranded. Did you leave Byrd there?