Newbies Nest

[available]

Newbies Nest

Orimus get all the stress out of your life that doesnt need to be there and move on. Its not a relationship at the end of the day so my advice is to end it and find something else to focus on which is not toxic.

[frances]

Newbies Nest

Pav - I like that FOMO term - that has always been me too! So much so that back in my younger really heavy party days I would always be the last one up still drinking so I wouldn't miss anything. Of course I missed plenty because I would eventually black out. Stupid.

I also recently had someone offer me wine as a thank you. I told him I'm not drinking wine lately and that I wouldn't drink it so please keep it and he made me take it and said 'even if you give it to someone else' - so that's what I'm going to do! But same thing here- not confessing that I don't drink anymore - just 'getting out of it' with a weak statement. Oh well, yes it's wimpy but I say whatever works is all that really matters!

And gambler - I had to laugh about your ex...I was on vacation with friends last year and we were drinking wine and the kids were there and I said I didn't want anymore because I didn't want to wake up with a wine headache. My friend's daughter said 'um, you mean a hangover?' My daughter reminds me of that every once in awhile. I have to admit, it was pretty funny and I did sound pretty stupid the way I said it! I don't even know where that came from but clearly I wasn't comfortable admitting I could get a hangover!

kensho - hope you are doing okay!

Pepper - Congratulations on 6 months!

LavBlue, Ava, Rahul, Jane, Byrdie, Hyper, Yogamom, Eloise, eveyone....I missed a bunch I'm sure - anyway just saying hi and I'm so glad everyone's here - keep on hangin in there!!!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,
Looks like the place was pretty busy today - that's great
I had a busy family day myself & another one coming tomorrow. I will always be grateful for finding my way out of this addiction. This is the life I always intended to have!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Orimus]

Newbies Nest

So in fear of being that coward but .... Thanks Ava. Just need to get it done. Finish the unfinished so I can get to the life I've chosen. I will enter my 40th year unburdened.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. The night went well - no drinks for me. It wasnt very hard once I decided not to partake (thanks to you all). I was offered a soda, they are getting used to it. Only iffy spot was when my MIL asked me it I wanted to taste her wine. I said, no thanks and she said, "you know, you just have to moderate". I asked her, "Is it important to you that I drink?" Se dropped the subject.

Another great thing happened... I began to remember why I don't want to drink: the sleepiness, the lack of clarity, the nausea the morning after, the irritability. I have also enjoyed the weight loss. I felt sexy-wexy in my little dress tonight - a nice little perk to sobriety. I NEVER want to go back to my "not living". I HAVE been somewhat uncomfortable with the new me, and very self-conscious that I am dull and straight and not "as good". I hope those insecurities will fade as I navigate this new lifestyle. I hope I'm not over thinking things, but I have so much more time to think!

Great post Rahul. Special thanks to Matt for sharing such personal events, and to all others who gave me such sound and tough advice... I am not sure where I would be now without you :h. You all have made such a difference in my life!

[Orimus]

Newbies Nest

Zach, work on the copy and paste via Android. Pass it on.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

How do I feel this Sunday morning. I feel I am back in time . Just after my breakup when I was shattered, lonely, unsure, UN happy. I feel during this drinking life I was elevated to a different world, a world where were no emotions or at least the one that were there were only of guilt and shame.

I feel for last 10 years or so I was elevated to a different place. Maybe I did that to myself to escape from reality. Or maybe I did that numb myself.

This was the place where I was not alone. I didn't need to be alone. I had alcohol. Which blinded md. Made the least interesting thing exiting. Brought light when it was darkness, made be its slave and all I had do was serve the master by drinking. That was the soul purpose of lif. Life was simple , last ten years it was empty but I didn't matter.

Now brought back to reality I emotionally I feel vulnerable, insecure and unsure just like I felt 10 years ago. I just escaped the prison, just ran from the master. Tricked him and came out of the prison of alcohol . Free but where to go ...

I also feel like an inmate which has been trapped in a secure jail for 10 years . All mattered for him inside was to follow rules of life, eat and live in the boundaries. Now given parole I am out and I feel I am in a different but familiar world.

I am back in this world and the world changed. Where were all the friends I had , they all moved on. Some raised kids, some left town, some formed new set of friends. Calls to them is just a courtesy call ..

I also am back to the world to my family from whom I had always lied and had stayed away. Back they and knowing me once again. So many hard feelings , so many layers and layers of hard stone to be romoved before the soft mug comes out..

I taste the ginger fiz which does not taste like AL and the taste of AL which I have forgotton long ago. Y did I drank ? It does not make sense. It the same debate which the criminal might have on his head ... Why did I do the crime ?

The world truly has moved on .. I need to get stronger , need to experiance and embrace the emotions I have. For they are a gentle reminder of me. The me who was ten years ago ... Blocked inside a bottle ... and thrown in the dead sea ...

There must be a reason why GOD made us emotional beings ... there must be a reason GOD brought me to this world. It was sure not to drink AL. And if it was to drink AL I don't might taking fight head on with GOD, it that it takes coz I am not drinking again ...

There is no fight in my head to drink or not to drink. Rather its a overwealming eye opening experiance and a feeling of time travel. So many events I missed in my life. So much time wasted , so many people I lost touch. So many people I have hurt.

Sorry to vote you with these flood of emotions I don't know whom to share it with ..

[Matt M.]

Newbies Nest

Good stuff Rahul..

[briseus]

Newbies Nest

Need to just hide here for a bit after a dumb slip.
It's raining here in Ontario. Very dreary out. Just the way I feel. :/

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Happy Sunday to all!

It's dreary out here as well Bri but that's just the weather. You can change your outlook anytime you want, it's your choice
Hop on a twig & stay put for your AF journey.

Kensho, I'm very happy to hear you had a good night out sans AL - good for you!
Nice job on getting your MIL to shut up as well :H

Rahul, you are spending a lot of time re-examining your past. Are you spending enough time enjoying your present? I sure hope so

Greetings to everyone & sending wishes for a great AF Sunday! I'll be occupied watching my 3 & 5 year old grandsons all afternoon - oh boy!!!

Lav

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Bri, sorry to hear but you are a trooper. You helped me this past few months and I will be sticking close as you march forward.
I am back yet again.
I know it gets boring but if I stay away I will never do this. So embarrassing to be all positive and 'getting it' only to let myself and all of you down. I so want this to be the year I do it for good.
Having a bit of bother navigating my way around....

[Matt M.]

Newbies Nest

"It wasnt very hard once I decided not to partake (thanks to you all). I was offered a soda, they are getting used to it. Only iffy spot was when my MIL asked me it I wanted to taste her wine. I said, no thanks and she said, "you know, you just have to moderate". I asked her, "Is it important to you that I drink?" Se dropped the subject.?"

Kensho~ Really great to here from you, what you said to your MIL is epic! That is hopefully one going to be one less person that will feel the need to cram AL down your throat. It felt good to share my story with you, needed to get out anyway. My thinking is people would read it and realize they are not nearly as F!d up as they thought, after reading my academy award performance( I'm not proud of)
Anyway Kensho you thanked everyone for sharing and caring, but it really started with YOU, for taking the time and courage to get on here and share your true feelings, it appears to most it would be way easier to tackle this beast alone. There is a 100% chance that if people have what I have when it comes to AL they can not and will not make it without some support.
I commend you for reaching out, which in turn helped you, me and no telling how many other people lurking!
And its obvious you Will Stay Hard!

Lavande~ you really made me think when you made the statement about the past and the now. I to find myself re examining our dwelling on the past, and Not enjoying the now. Thanks for sharing that.

Bri~ If you are serious about your quit, and tired of the "dumb" slips. Get yourself in this thread everyday and read and post your thoughts. Try a 30 day goal.
There will always be "rainy" dreary days of some for and fashion.
Daisy ~ Glad to see you back and hope you'll do the same
Hope to see you lady's around!

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Well, I had a terrible night last night. We went to a wedding (I really didn't want to go but was obligated). Of course everyone was drinking from the get go. LAME! I just wanted to stay a couple hours and leave. I didn't feel well. I ended up staying almost four hours. I finally couldn't take it anymore and insisted on leaving. Well I ended up getting yelled at by my drunk ASS daughter and husband for having a "bad" attitude at the wedding. Why couldn't I just set aside my discomfort for a few more hours and have fun. I used to be so much fun. Yeah, I used to get drunk and yes I was a lot of fun. I don't have the "lack of inhibition" now that I did when I drank. So no I am not talking to everyone and dancing on the tables anymore. I was so hurt and frustrated I thought for second taking a F-You drank at my husband. Then I decided to just tell my husband and daughter to F-off. This is the new me and if its not enough fun for you guys we can go to functions separately and you guys can stay and I will leave on my own. What a shifty night. Then I got to have asthma attacks all night and wake up feeling even worse. I really want my whole family to just go away. I'm sober and I'm staying that way fun or not. Damn it!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I had FOMO, too!! First one to show up and the last to leave! Now I have NOMO....I don't do that NO MO. eheheheh.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Great job, Cherokee. I like how instead of turning inward and doubting yourself, you get mad at the right thing - alcohol and the people who are trying to convince you you should drink it. Hopefully your family will adjust soon.

It is hard to be at AL-focused events when you're not participating. I've just gone to bed a couple times when we were visiting people. It is trickier in a situation like you were in last night. Planning an exit strategy next time is a good idea to avoid the hurt and anger you're feeling now.

You have been so strong getting this done - I love reading about how tough a person can be.