Newbies Nest

[available]

Newbies Nest

JWP i dont think i could go anywhere and not be on here, well maybe now but earlier on there is no way. Everyday af is a good day, keep it up. Im slowly getting over being a coffee addict and sugar fiend but as long as i am happy and sober i can do as i damn well please. Everything in moderation except al that is.

Hyper I think the first 50 miles giving up al were hard but i was so determined to get to the top that i kept on plodding along and plodding along. I dont know if i have reached the summit as yet but i feel pretty close to conquering it. You can do this, there are so many gains in being sober which i never thought were possible. For the first time in a long time i am happy and content. I cant ask for much more than that.

Hi Oen and welcome, you will never regret being sober. I can never have a healthy relationship with al and most of us on here cant but you can only find what is right for you. I know i am not a normal drinker, well on mwo 2 bottles a wine a night may seem normal previously to many, but for the majority of the population it is not. I can never drink again, end of story, buyt accepting that at first was a difficult. Denial is a funny thing with addicts but once we accept what we are and get support from others like us and have a plan to rid our lives of al then we truly start living. I have never regretted one sober day i have had, as hard as it has been on this journey i am finally living my life and loving it.

Molly i think from memory it is 1000 days for you today, love you Molls and a huge hug for you huge achievement.

Oh Pav about my red lines under my avatar it is my bitch meter for that day ha ha. I have no idea what it means.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the support everyone. Unfortunately, my husband picked up my surface and read my post and now he is mad at me for what I wrote. I couldn't finish posting what I wanted because they wanted to go get breakfast. My DH continued that night to try and put a guilt trip on me and then manipulate me with guilt. According to him since he had put up with situations with me that he didn't want to and hung out with people he didn't want to "for me" that somehow negates my feelings for what, the rest of my life? Perhaps he should have put his foot down sooner. Instead of hanging on the cross he should have refused to hang out if he didn't want to. Because I am not going to be manipulated. I am not going to "suffer in silence" anymore. I spent my whole life setting aside my wants and needs for everyone else. No more. Like I told him, he can do what he wants to do. He can stay as long as he wants hanging out. I will have no problem with that whatsoever. But if I don't want to be somewhere, by God, I am not going to be there. So what if he chased my drunk ASS all over the place. Maybe if he would have said no sooner I would have seen the light a bit sooner.

I HATE being around a bunch of drunk people. I am not going to keep tolerating these situations. I'm miserable the whole time and I should not have to sit in misery. I would rather just be alone. I am happy just sitting in my house where it is quiet and watching TV or reading a book. I am sure my husband hates the fact that I am not a normal drinker. I wish I was but I am not. We are in our mid-forties why do we have to drink all the time? It's not good for our health. I do feel some guilt that I my be the reason that everyone drinks now. My DH used to never drink. He only has a beer a night but on the weekends when my daughter and son-in-law are here they all drink a lot more. I just go to another part of the house because I do feel left out and alienated. That's a small price to pay to no longer feel the shame and devastation I felt when I was drinking. But it does get a bit lonely at times.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters & Happy Monday

Hello & welcome Oen, glad you decided to join us!
Be sure you look in the Tool box for great ideas to help you put your plan together. A good working plan & strong commitment will help you reach your goals. Start out with a goal of 30 days AF the re-evaluate. You just may find yourself happy & content without the wine & choose to remain AF. That's the way it went for me 5 1/2 years ago Wishing you the best on your journey!

LavB, I successfully quit smoking shortly after I quit drinking. I did it with the help of www.quitnet.com
All previous attempts to quit smoking failed - even tried hypnosis at one point. I would not rely on the ecigs, they are not effective quitting tools & may actually damage your health & the health of those around you. I was successful using Nicorette lozenges. Take a look at the website, I still visit there everyday

Greetings to everyone. Wishing a great AF day for all!

Lav

[Rivergal]

Newbies Nest

This is a safe place to be, Briseus

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

GMAE all. Welcome back Hypernova. And I?ll echo everyone?s congrats to Kensho and Cherokee on winning tough battles and the great post by Rahul over the weekend. Hope everyone stays strong and AF today

[Rivergal]

Newbies Nest

How can you accomplish such an amazing ride, train, and still drink?? Drinking always took place of my working out sessions

[Rivergal]

Newbies Nest

Let's ask Zach about the bars...it is driving me nuts not knowing!!! You are so farking funny, Ava...cannot wait to meet you in person some day!!!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Chero, I feel the same way....I have now EARNED the right to attend or NOT attend social gatherings. Being an Alkie puts a whole different spin on things. For the dieter, going to an All You Can Eat Buffet is NO FUN.
Put aside any guilt you may have about THEIR drinking. We are all stewards of our own bodies...you didn't cause any of their habits. I believe it was Pav who said she had enough guilt to start her own religion!! Put that in the past where it belongs. You are moving forward!!
It takes some time and adjusting to get used to our new lives....we didn't get here overnight, it takes some time to figure out your place in the world. It will come with time!! Just give time, time! xo

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters!
Welcome Oen! You have landed in a great place if you are ready to re-evaluate your relationship with AL!
I meant to wish Hypernova a warm welcome back! So good to see you!
Wishing everyone an easy day! You will never regret a day your spent sober!! Byrdie

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Rivergal ~ you asked me : How can you accomplish such an amazing ride, train, and still drink?? ~ The simple answer is that back in the day I could drink one beer a day and train properly. Now sad to say that 'control' is gone & it's gone forever. Now I could still train for a century but it's a choice between drinking or being AF and accomplishing the things I would like to do. Personally for quite a while now I would have preferred not to drink b/c of how much AL has stolen from my life. So today and going forward I climb the mountain & whistle along the way as I enjoy the endeavor and my life. Thanks for the thought provoking question.

[LavenderBlue]

Newbies Nest

And checking in today; up late again last night but I'm remembering it will take time for my sleep patterns to be normal again. I've always been kind of a night owl to begin with so...back to that patience thing.

Lav - Thank you for sharing that link; there are a lot of back and forth articles on ecigs, with very differing opinions and studies; very much so! Last time I quit, they worked for me and I saw them as less of a risk than continuing to smoke - but more information on what's worked for others is always a good thing. Learned that here, I think. I found out last time I quit that it's not only the nicotine some folks are addicted to, and I seem to be one of those "lucky" folks who are also addicted to other chemicals in cigarettes. From last time, I don't know if I could handle quitting without something to wean me off the motions BUT that was also when I thought I'd never quit drinking so you never know. If nothing else, I know I've more perspective on relapse after learning more about my AL addiction. I'm much more aware of how I came to start again. (A huge case of the frak-its, plus I was most likely drinking at the time. I think I also still saw smoking as something I "deserved" if I was going through a stressful time, and my ideas about that have also changed since coming here, thank goodness.)

And good for you quitting!!! Not an easy thing, but such a great thing to do for yourself and loved ones.

Also another belated welcome for new folks and support for those returning. I seem to be having an attack of the brain fog this week and my focus is shot. I'm still reading and sending good thoughts. Also thanks to the old timers for continuing to share their views and experiences - it's so very helpful, possibly moreso when I do feel braindead!

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

Hi Cherokeer ( I like the name because I just got my Cherokee not too long ago )

Yea..well..um I feel the same way as well. I knew a long time ago that I was not going to handle the BS very well when I sobered up. I dont put up with that crap anymore. Im finished being taken advantage of..or being an easy target for someone to push me around. The one thing I have to learn is that it will take time to adjust to my surroundings and the people that I choose to be in my life ( which isnt many ). Im sorry to hear that things are stirred up for you right now..but Im hoping they shape up soon for you. Oh..and Im proud to see that you left the bottle alone. Good for you

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

Howdies Nesters

Welp I just put together my waterbed frame and filling it up now. Its been over 5 years since I slept in the damned thing but now its getting a bit colder and Im hoping the heated mattress will keep me cozy at night.

Ive still not been able to get to a calm state of mind..always the 'I gotta do something !!". Sure sure..there are moments when I veg out but not a whole lot. Hence the waterbed thingy ^ lol.

There is also a matter of the boys that needs some attention. They are constantly saying that they want to spend more time with me. Yea we play a lot of games and have tons of fun every minute. And yes..I get from their mother thats the reason why they want more time over here. But I dont thats the case. I dont know how to explain it..but its like their not "grounded" when I get them. After only a few hours they seem to loosen up and become more of who I know they are. I realize that I could go back to the Judge and ask for more time and probably get it. There is also the "homeschooling" thing. I would rather see them in a regular school with other kids to interact with. I could probably ask and get that as well. However..if I do these things I fear that there may be reprocussions when they are not with me. You see I get this feeling that Mom has this sorta power trip going on. LIke they are 'her' children and Im only a part time gig and that Im 'allowed' to be with them. If she feels like she lost control then her actions would reflect a more fighting nature. The last thing I want is for things to get any worse for the boys..thats paramount. Im not going to do anything right now. I dont think talking with her would do any good but after her and the boys living at the grandparents house for over a year now ( with no end in sight ) I feel I should be setting myself up to take on more responsibility with them.

Welp anyways I need to get back to the bed as its getting to balloon on me lol.

Take care all and see ya soon.

[See the Light]

Newbies Nest

Alcoholism and Aging:

Saw this article today...I think many more people understand this now

http://concord.wickedlocal.com/artic.../12456/OPINION

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

My name is Byrdlady and I have developed a serious LIKE button issue. I can't stop liking eva'body's posts. I go around the whole site just LIKE'ing things. Why? Because I can! I know I should stop, but it's hard to control.... Sorry. B