I feel I have reached a point in this process where I no longer WANT alcohol. What a nice place to be. And I feel less bad about just not partaking when I'm out. My husband, daughter and I went out to dinner at a pub last night. Friday nights were when we looked forward to 2-3 long islands to numb the week. I just had water, and watched him get slower and more distant. He wanted to run over to a new brewery that just opened across the street, and I just didn't want to stand there with my daughter and watch him drink a beer. I don't want to be a stick in the mud, or influence what he is able to do, so I just walked around the block in the fabulous Indian summer evening air with my daughter and watched a tow truck pick up a car (quite a process, and amazing to a 5 yr. old! We picked him un 20 min. later.
The booze is creating a barrier between us a bit. I feel like we don't have as much to talk about. I hope we find those things again. In the mean time - I am not interested in AL at all - all that comes to mind is waking at 3am feeling like complete shit - and I just don't have room in my life for that anymore.
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