Newbies Nest

[Pinecone]

Hi Mr. B, I'm glad you found us. So much great advice so far, I just like to chime in with my two cents. Just like Byrdie posted I was nervous about quitting what I thought was my way of life. It's so sad to look back now and realize that I really identified myself as a drinker. That is so far from the truth though. This place it's full of the most dynamic and interesting people who really represent grabbing AF life by the horns. It isn't about deprivation at all! AF is the way I was intended to be, I just got really, really, sidetracked along the way.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

The nest is growing ~ great

Hello & welcome Mr B, glad you decided to join us. Pull up a twig & settle in for as long as you like! You'll be feeling happy & comfortable here in no time, promise

Okoren, Congrats on you 60 AF days - great work!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[narilly]

Hello Mr B, glad you are here. We know what it's like to want to quit. Just take it one day at a time, read some of the posts and the tool box. This site really helps me to keep my quit.

Love the poem Cowboy.

60 days, good job Okoren.

Hello G! Glad your hangin' in

Talk soon

[narilly]

Thanks Ava, that is great advice. Your poor friend, cancer sucks!
How is your arm by the way?

[little beagle]

Mr. B MWO changed my life. I was afraid and unsure of myself when I first joined, but I seriously took the advice of those navigating their way through their addictions. I copied what they did and found it worked. And I found the wonderful support here priceless. Hang in there with us and we will help you change YOUR life.
Cowboy I love your poem. Thank you for sharing it.

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

I feel like I say this a lot, but another LONG day at work. I love my job, but sometimes it is exhausting. I am checking in to say hi, and have read back, but not going to wax poetic (like Cowboy).

Way to go G, good checking in.

Cheero - I just talk myself into putting on my shoes and commit to the end of the block. I put something good on my iPod (music or some great podcasts I have been listening to), and when I get to the end of the block, I always just keep going. Don't worry about the giant work out - literally, one step at a time. I have an app like Ava (walkmeter) and I compete with myself as well.

Go, Ava.

Byrdie, why doesn't it surprise me that you were stubborn?

Hi, Mr. B.

Nar, I agree with Ava - do what you think you need to do to protect your quit. It seems like staying on the path is so much easier than trying to stop again. Just take stock of our friends who keep popping in and out - read the relapse thread (Nice Life's description is beautifully written and haunting - I'm sure NoSugar can find it for you).

OK - family life calling.

Pav

[NoSugar]

Quiet night in the Nest! Here is the relapse thread Pav referred to. We need more contributions! Writing it out might help what happened become clearer to you and could help someone else not make the same mistake: win-win! Have a great MAE!

[See the Light]

GMAE everyone. Cowboy- killer poem as usual. Welcome Mr. B (hopefully all the welcoming didn’t scare you off). You will find great inspiration here to change your life for the better. Taking daily action is your best offense. Make your sobriety your job, like breathing or standing and walking. Give yourself a pep-talk when you’re going out in the morning, and pat yourself on the back throughout the day. Be grateful for being sober, and remind yourself of that.

Stay strong and AF everyone.

[Elvis]

I wish this week was over. No guarantees next week will be any better of course, but I'm so done with this week.

I feel very lonely right now. My wife has been very distant with me all week, understandably so. She asked me how I was feeling this morning and I let her know I felt lonely and why. She basically said it was my own damn fault and I could tell it visibly upset her. She's right of course, and I reassured her I understood that and she has no reason to be upset over it, but it just ended up making both of us feel worse. I feel like I can't get ahead no matter what I do. I don't know what to do.

Thanks for reading. I hope everyone has a great day.

[NoSugar]

Hey, Elvis. You're at a tough point right now. Your wife is disappointed in you. You're disappointed in yourself. It will take some time for both of you to fully trust you again.

You went for a long time without drinking! If she has never suffered an addiction, it must seem incomprehensible to her that you would go back to it. (Actually, it does sound kind of crazy, but we know it's not -- that is the power of addiction!).

You were in control for almost a year - that probably started to seem really normal to both you and your wife. And maybe it made you a little over-confident. The thing is, we do have the power over our addiction but only if we use that power to not consume it. Once we do, it seizes the reins again and then we have to re-do the work to regain control. You're doing that now, so you're doing the best you can. And that is all anyone can expect of themselves or others.

Congratulations on your long time AF - you know how good it was and that getting it back is worth whatever it takes now.

Take care of yourself and remember, you're not alone in this. NS

[See the Light]

Elvis- I’m sure you will get better advice later from the wise women of the board then I could ever do, but at least I’ll ask why you feel that way? Is it because your wife is still angry at your slip, or is there more to it (is she distancing herself because she’s afraid it will get worse)? My wife does not drink (that’s a good thing), and she has tried to help me in the past, but surely does not understand what I or anyone here really have struggled with, so that is why I am here. I hope the addtional support (surely forthcoming) here makes you feel better, and you are already making things better I’m sure by stopping drinking again …. Hang in there


(I am sorry to admit too, that when I first read your post, the 1st thing that popped into my mind was part of the lyrics from "Heartbreak Hotel”…but, I’m sure it’s the Elvis thing though)

[Elvis]

NoSugar - Thank you, I needed to read that.

See the Light - I like the "Heartbreak Hotel" reference. My wife is upset at my slip, but much more angry that I hid the drinking from her. If I'm lying about that, what else am I lying about? It's a trust issue. And I slipped up, so whatever I was doing didn't work, and there will be a next time, and I will hide it again next time, and how can she trust me? The only thing I ever hid from her was the slips, so that's totally on me, but I can't say I blame her for thinking otherwise. If the roles were reversed, I'd be upset too. I thought I was making the right choice at the time hiding the drinking as I was only going to have a few, and all the usual excuses, so no one needed to know but me, but hey you know what, when you end up drinking way too much, it's impossible to hide that you started drinking again.

Anyway, I skipped out of work early today and came home, shut off the phone, and did absolutely nothing, because I am so over this week. I owe it to my employer to go to work tomorrow, and I owe the house guests we are having over on Saturday night a smile and a pleasant conversation at a minimum, and I might go play cards on Sunday night while my wife watches her zombie show, but that's about all anyone's getting out of me the rest of this week. I need a reset, and Monday morning will be my reset.

[Lavande]

Greetings Nesters,

Had trouble logging in this morning - let's see how this works.

Elvis, take some time for yourself to really get focused again. You had some wonderful AF time, you can do it again.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest! Tomorrow is Friday - let's get the AF weekend plans nailed down

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Elvis, I can relate to how you are feeling. I made so many promises to my hubs that it took quite a while to earn his trust again. You can only imagine how worried they are for us, it cant be any party to be married to one of us. But I did earn it. There is a photo in the tool box on page 21. I am going to try and post it. image.jpg. It captures the feeling of letting someone down. Remember this picture, so when you get a thought that a drink is a good idea, you will remember why it isn't. If you are inclined, adding to NS's thread about relapse can only help someone else feeling wobbly. We whip that thread out all the time, so your contributions would be greatly appreciated.

You will earn her trust back....one day at a time. Hugs, dear man. Byrdie

EDIT: I almost got that picture right!!!

[Guitarista]

Yo Nesters near and not so far.

Good to see you Elvis. Keep it going (small) step by step, easy does it. You will be back on track in no time friend.

Hope all are safe and sound out there.

Wishing y'all a happy, healthy mae.

G bloke.