Newbies Nest

[Mr. B]

Thank you all for your support. I am in the early days of quitting my addiction. I have to get it right because this is killing me. My goals are to think of the consequences before i act and to think beyond the moment.

[Byrdlady]

Yes, Mr B, that is truly the key!!
I was hoping you would check in today, so happy to see you! All you gotta do is get thru this day! Remember to keep your belly full! Thinking of you and wishing you strength! Byrdie

[narilly]

Hi everyone, I'm really tired so will check in tomorrow.
Goodnight!

[See the Light]

Welcome back Mr. B. Yeah, Elvis I get that..and I am surely no one to give advice on that because I am guilty of similar things. Time does heal wounds, but trust is key (and buying flowers doesn't hurt either..just sayin'). I've actually had recent nightmares I have awoken from that not only had I started drinking again and was hiding it, but also ..dum, dum dum...yep, I was busted...,my wife found my stash! How stupid is that right? Except, it's not..because I know that feeling of that pic Byrdie just posted (and kudos on the pic insert Byrdie!)..probably many of us have ..it sucks. For me at my darkest point, I stopped caring about me or my health...but what helped bring me back was caring about how I was impacting others (my wife, kids, co-workers, friends, etc.). Maybe in a way your wife wants you to feel this way for a while to make you realize the impacts you have had on her life and make it really stick..the more you squirm, the more you learn. Stay on the right track, and you will show her that you do care..about yourself and others... leave the Heartbreak Hotel for that other guy

[available]

Thank you all for your support. I am in the early days of quitting my addiction. I have to get it right because this is killing me. My goals are to think of the consequences before i act and to think beyond the moment.

One day at a time is all we addicts can do Mr. B. In the early days i felt as if i was trudging along, that changed to plodding and now i am walking and hopefully in a year i will be running. Everyday and for that day i will not drink, that is my mantra. When we are sober we have a lot of time to think but try not to dwell on the past as the future sober is so damn good. you will never regret your decision.

[available]

I wish this week was over. No guarantees next week will be any better of course, but I'm so done with this week.

I feel very lonely right now. My wife has been very distant with me all week, understandably so. She asked me how I was feeling this morning and I let her know I felt lonely and why. She basically said it was my own damn fault and I could tell it visibly upset her. She's right of course, and I reassured her I understood that and she has no reason to be upset over it, but it just ended up making both of us feel worse. I feel like I can't get ahead no matter what I do. I don't know what to do. Thanks for reading. I hope everyone has a great day.

Time heals all wounds Elvis, give her time and attention and prove her wrong. Trust is earnt and i know now that my children are finally trusting me again. It has been a hard earnt trust but well worth it. Its sad though that people do not understand any addiction unless they have been there and done that. For us some days are a constant fight within that we dont show to others. We feel weak for wanting a drink, needing a drink and we dont say anything to others as they dont "get it". They think we have stopped and that is it, end of story. Its not our fault but it is up to us to prove them wrong and you will do that. Of course you regret your drinking again but the past is that Elvis and each day you are sober is a good day. Remember we are here for you and we understand what you are going through. You have gotten back on track now, a lot dont and run away with the "fark its", you havent so be proud of yourself that you want to beat al and you have done some very hard yards already.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & happy Friday!

Awaiting the appearance of some sunshine but I don't think that's going to happen today, oh well.

STL, the drinking & smoking dreams still make a very occasional appearance even at the 5 1/2 year mark for me. I've learned to accept & appreciate them as little gifts from my guardian angel. They sure do make you appreciate your quits

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Friday!

Lav

[frances]

Good morning all! Happy to be here and see everyone! It took awhile to figure out how to get on but overall I think I am going to like this version much better than the last! I'm hanging in there and still racking up the days but I don't know where I am (without roll call I have lost count) - I wrote my quit day down it is on my computer at work - it will be nice to go post on roll call once I figure out what day I am on!

Hope everyone is doing well.

[NoSugar]

I'm hanging in there and still racking up the days but I don't know where I am (without roll call I have lost count) - I wrote my quit day down it is on my computer at work - it will be nice to go post on roll call once I figure out what day I am on!

Good to see you, Frances. It's pretty great to get to the point that a day AF is part of Normal Life, isn't it? I think it is important to keep "where we were" very fresh in our minds but it's such a gift when making it through the day isn't a monumental task.

To anyone who sees 24 hours without a drink as an almost impossible challenge, hang in there! It truly does get easier and easier until it eventually is just plain easy and how you naturally live - how you were meant to live all along (There was nothing as immediately pleasurable and readily available as addictive drugs while we were evolving - we had to work for our dopamine hits and they weren't nearly as intense or brain-altering as those delivered by alcohol and other drugs. Consuming these is what is abnormal, even if you feel weird because you can't join in with what everyone else is doing and seems to be enjoying).

Have a plan for the weekend, Nesters - you'll thank yourself Monday morning!

[Pavati]

Morning, Everyone:

I was out late last night with friends and didn't get a chance to post. These were old friends, and I really got a chance to see what alcohol DOESN'T mean to so many people. I think only one person noticed I wasn't drinking, another one wasn't drinking, someone had a glass of wine that sat there unfinished... Always makes me realize that while alcohol was the "center" for me for fun, that's not true for everyone.

Elvis - I missed your post about drinking. Sorry that happened, and I'm glad you're back.

Hope everyone has fabulous, sober Fridays. Just another day.

Pav

[See the Light]

GMAE everyone..Happy Friday- Pav- Great observations about the role of AL in our lives vs. how people see it,...makes total sense.

So, I like the read inspirational recovery stories to motivate me. Saw this one today:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bill-manville/qa-about-boozing_b_5953594.html

There was this quote that I focused on:

"In working with addicts for over 20 years I've come to think recovery is not an exact science. It's 80 percent art, 10 percent science and the rest, guts and hope."

Hope everyone is staying strong and AF

[Elvis]

Thanks for your posts and thanks for understanding NoSugar, STL, Lavande, Byrdie, Guitarista, available, and Pavati.

I am still feeling a bit emotionally numb today. But I must continue to move forward, and I will try to be positive again. Have a great day everyone!

[Byrdlady]

Checking in from my phone. My last fictional link to the outside world! What a week! TGIF.

I had a dream last night that was so real! I was at a party with friends I haven't seen in a long time. We were at the campus of UNC. We decided to pack up and change locations. One man there (I didn't know him) gave me a box of documents to take over to the Dean Smith Center. He stuffed an envelope in there full of money ($15,000!) and trusted me to transport it. So everyone left and I realized I didn't have a car. There I stood with this box! I could see the place I needed to go(there was a tall building next to it). How was I going to get there? Parked right there was a Semi truck and trailer with the keys in it! I piled in and drove it over there! (I cannot drive a stick shift and have never driven a truck). I pulled it right up to the door and got out with the box. Then I realized I needed to get the truck back over to where I found it. (See laws on grand theft) In order to do that it would need to be BACKED out if this narrow driveway. I knew I didn't have the luck to do it so I found a guy who said HE could do it! He was tending tomatoes I offered him 25,000 bucks to drive it back over there! Then I woke up. Wow. As I lay there sorting this all out I said 'I wonder if I was drunk in this dream?' Then I concluded, 'I would have to be, I would never do anything THAT stupid sober!' A lightbulb went off. This IS the moral of the story! AL makes us do stuff that we would never do in a million years sober. It impairs our judgment in every way. This is exactly why moderation doesn't work. After you have had a couple, your judgment flies out the window. It's kind if a Catch 22. We can't moderate because that takes Will and Judgement and they go out the window once we've had a couple! The best plan? Stay sober. I was so glad to wake up from this crazy dream. But I lived it in real life for many years. Staying sober is not always easy, but it is always worth it.
More later when I get off this phone! Hugs to all. Stay strong no matter what! B

[Ginger999]

First.... Great job posting from your phone, Byrdie! You always have such insightful things to share. I love your analysis of your dream. As for me.... Still AF and feeling great.

Great to see newbies here again. The site is working so MUCH better now that it's been down-graded. Hope everyone has a great AF MAE!

[Elvis]

"What people seek at first point of contact is reassurance -- that they are not alone, that whoever is talking is non-judgmental, has been through addiction too, and come out the other side OK. Most important, that the speaker has reached recovery him/herself... that the promise being made, the hope being offered, that addiction can be overcome, is first-hand, personal and real."

I like this quote from the article. It rings true to me, and I'm sure others here. I got the courage to quit, and so much hope, by reading the stories and struggles of those who posted here who went through it before me, or were going through it with me. I can never thank you all enough for being here and understanding.