Newbies Nest

[available]

Nar there is no "hopefully" you woke with your last hangover! You can do this and you are proving to yourself daily that you can do this.

NS well said and very true. I came on here and went and thought i could do it by myself. Why did i need to listen to others when it sounded so easy and they seemed so happy. Oh because it wasnt easy at all and they were happy as they had af time and accepted what they were. When i decided to leave my ego at the door and listen and learn only then did this journey become bearable and doable and now i am happy.

Mr B how is it going? It will be 2 weeks soon, the worst is nearly over! Keep on here and keep strong.

I was given a bottle of wine yesterday by a patient. I looked at it and smiled and said thank you. What i really wished it was was a bottle of coke zero! How has my mindset changed! If i had of received that earlier i would have been planning that just "one", telling myself i deserved it after the day i had had, bargaining with myself until i just gave in and drank it. Now it is sitting in my cupboard waiting to be gifted. Im sure it is a lovely bottle of wine but its not for me.

My week has been exhausting, i have a friend in the hospital where i work and he has cancer and it looks like there is shadow on his liver. It is heartbreaking and i am emotionally exhausted and very sad but i will not drink today. If it cured him of his cancer i would crack that bottle open in no time but i am a much better support person for him sober. so im up early after to go and have a coffee and a cuddle with him and probably a cry. Life sucks balls sometimes but i do know i wont drink at life today. He knows i am an alcoholic and he is very proud of me, i could not disappoint him for the world.

Have a great mae everyone. Mr G is it your 80 days today. If so a huge hug and congratulations.

[Byrdlady]

Holy cow, what a jam packed couple of days. We have been held hostage with only potty breaks and working lunches. We all went to dinner last night and the AL was flowing. Two guys at my table had 6 glasses of wine each. In 2 hours! id have been right there with them , too in the old days. no one said a word about my not drinking. There was only me and one other lady not drinking. i left at 9:30 and it was getting LOUD and i decided my time was better spent getting some sleep! Learned a lot! Traveling tomorrow so will catch up then. Hope all is well! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Hang in there Byrdie, your week is almost over
I resent anyone telling me I can't go the bathroom, really LOL

Well, I'm happy to report that the sun did finally make an appearance. It was about an hour & a half before sunset, oh well

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. Hold on!!!

Lav

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

Thanks for checking in via Mick, phone, whatever, Byrdie, and letting us know you are ok. That conference sounds amazing.

I agree, that I couldn't have done this alone - tools are so important. What your wrote, Narilly, reminded me that at 10.5 months sober, I passed my previous personal sober best of 9 months - for my two pregnancies - probably since I took my first drink at age 14. Wow.

One thing that I think is CRAZY now, is that I fought myself for SO LONG to try to stay drinking. Deals, bargains, contracts, promises - none of them kept. I used to say "I have to get my drinking under control because I don't want to have to quit all together." There is NO WAY drinking is worth all that agony and crap. Yes, I had fun. Yes, it helped me forget problems. Yes, it relaxed me. But in the end, all of that was nothing compared to the depression, anxiety and problems it caused. I am not sugar coating it - quitting wasn't easy and I did love my drink - but in hindsight, I say good riddance.

Welcome back, Mo3 - good to see you here and please stick close.

Hope you all have great, sober nights.

Pav

[little beagle]

I heard an old country song today about a guy who takes the local waitress and runs off to Mexico and the beach for a week. No it wasn't a drinking song. It was about living. Enjoying life. Because we only get to live it once. Now some people could drink a couple of drinks on that beach and still enjoy it. For me it would be nothing but regrets if I drank. So much of my life has been regrets. I just don't want to spend any more of my time regretting what is suppose to be the best parts of life. Vacations, holidays, weekends, family gatherings, Evenings spent with my husband. These times use to be so anticipated, and then I would drink.
Now, I know how to live.

[Byrdlady]

Kensho, i thought I saw a post from you but now I cant find it. It hasnt been my week for electronics! How do we deal with a whacked out dopamine center? Well, speaking for myself, I think it is only whacked out WHILE you are actively addicted....once you get some recovery time in, I feel as tho my highs and lows are perfectly normal now. When I was drinking, that wasn't the case. Now I am mindful of things and find joy in small stuff that I totally overlooked before. I am happier because Im making good decisions, with more information, because I am not obsessed on my next fix. I have been sad a few times since I quit, but not depressed like I was when I drank. I have also been immensely happier, too. I feel NORMAL, and for one of us to say that is a good thing! My emotions are normal. I am normal, as along as I dont drink. Not sure if that answers it or not, B

[Mr. B]

Just checking in. Hope everyone is doing well tonite.

[narilly]

Goodnight everyone, I've been reading your posts.
My emotions are pretty 'normal' too Byrdie. Iwhen I was drinking I remember that rush of dopamine well. The first drink feels SO good, holy smokes. That is when the obsessive drinking starts. That feeling keeps me drinking into oblivion. I can see why it is so addictive. Gotta stay away from the stuff, stay sober. It is SO addictive, it should be illegal.

Anyway, back to the ball game.

[narilly]

Hi Mr B, hope you are hangin in.

[Sarah42]

Hi all. I'm here! been w/o internet for quite some time while on vaca and also when I came home. I have tons of reading back to do.

Cause of the site relapse I didn't really keep up with my AF days but I had some....but nothing consecutive daily. It seems I can do a day or two and then want something. I feel like a ping-pong. But hey...I'm better than where I was!

Love,

Sarah

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & happy Friday to all!

Welcome back Sarah. I hope you find what you are looking for here.

I have lots to do today including preparing for some real cold weather on the way
Grateful to be alive & well to enjoy it all!

Have a terrific AF Friday everyone!

Lav

[See the Light]

GMAE everyone an Happy Friday (TGIF). Welcome back Sarah. And welcome back Byrdie- Great to hear you are still learning things even after all you experienced and shared. Loved that post Little Beagle - Letting go of regrets and moving forward makes life more meaningful and joyful, and AL just makes everything seem like an emotional roller coaster. Since I’ve fallen off that proverbial “Pink Cloud” a number of weeks ago, I feel like I have become more and more negative in general (I even noticed it in some of things I’ve posted here recently). A few things happened in my life within a short period of time starting around day 60 for me and I felt like they were building up. But that is life, and I didn’t drink to deal with them. I just coped the best I could…Relearning to cope is hard work, but I see so many people here with so much AF time behind them and that is the model I want to set for my own life. Hope everyone is gearing up for a great and POSITIVE weekend.

Stay strong and AF out there

[See the Light]

The PINK Cloud Syndrome

Oh, and for anyone who wasn’t aware of what the “The Pink Cloud Syndrome” is (and there must be a more manly version of that for us guys right?), here is some good info of what many of us Newbies have or will go through…it is the reason many people fail after having a good start…the overconfidence kicks in..and then life does….


pink cloud.jpg
The Pink Cloud Defined Early recovery is often referred to as a rollercoaster ride because it involves a mixture of great highs and great lows. Emotions that have been anesthetized with alcohol and drugs suddenly awaken, and feelings can be particularly intense. As the body and mind adjusts to this new life, there can be rapid changes in mood. There will usually come a time though, when the individual hits a smooth patch. Life will feel wonderful and the future exceptionally bright. Staying free of addiction now feels effortless and the individual may wonder what all the fuss was about.
The term pink cloud tends to be used negatively to describe people who are too high on life. They are individuals who have lost touch with reality and are now living in a fantasy land. The emotions that this person is experiencing do not properly reflect their actual situation. The pink cloud syndrome in addiction recovery was first described by Alcoholics Anonymous.

The Dangers of the Pink Cloud It might seem odd to claim that there would be any disadvantages to feeling good. The addict may have spent decades battling their problem so it seems reasonable that they should get to feel great now. While it is true that life in recovery should be about enjoying life, there can be problems if people become too confident and complacent. They may conclude that their problems are over, and that there is no need to do anything more to maintain their sobriety. There is also the risk that when the pink cloud period ends, it will lead to huge disappointment.
Relapse is most likely to occur during the first few years of recovery. It is particularly likely to happen during the first few months after leaving rehab. The most usual reason why it occurs is that the individual stops putting enough effort into staying free of addiction. They start ignoring their problems and stop asking for help. The relapse process describes how people begin the road back to addiction as soon as they hit a point in recovery that they fail to get beyond. The risk then is that those who are on a pink cloud may feel so confident that they become stuck.
If an individual experiences a particularly pleasant period in recovery, then it can be disappointing when it ends. Life is full of ups and downs, and nobody can stay up forever. Emotions eventually settle down as the body adjusts to recovery, and the highs and lows become less intense. The individual can respond to the end of the pink cloud by assuming that they have done something wrong. They can begin to lose faith in those tools that have been keeping them away from alcohol and drugs. They may even start to question if recovery is that worthwhile after all. People can feel cheated when the super highs of early recovery are replaced by more modest emotions.

http://alcoholrehab.com/addiction-recovery/pink-cloud/

[abcowboy]

Congratulations on 5 months Eloise!

[narilly]

Thanks for that post STL, that is really interesting.

Way to go El!

It's Friday and I am going to the market today, another day off for me which is awesome.
Keep sober everyone.

River, thinking of you and Mr B too.