Hey guys.
Doing some reading here and catching up. I am working now, finally, and have to create a routine to incorporate time here as part of my day.
I have tried posting in the mornings, but there just isn't enough time, so evenings it will be. Byrdie you are so right we have to stay connected or face potentially rough seas ahead. I have had enough of that life, so I plan to do what it takes.
I have to share something from our week-end.
One of the reasons I decided I must quit drinking is because of my sister in law. I just didn't want my husband to be married to someone like his sister. And I didn't drink even close to what she does, but I could just see the direction I was headed. I know this sounds mean, sorry.
She drinks heavily, becomes inappropriate and rude, and is just kind of an all around faux pas.
It has been about a year and three months that I have seen her in person and she stopped by to see our new appartment. It was a little tricky to share her enthusiasm for the space as I have actually had my art studio here for almost two years now. I know my husband has told her many times, but she forgets.
The trouble with forgetting too often is people (like me) start to think that they (I) are/am just not important enough to be remembered.
Anyhow, since the last time I saw her she has had a facelift, lost weight, and dyed her hair blond; she is 55.
When I saw her I thought 'omg, she looks 15 years older, not younger. What in the world is going on? Her skin was pale, leathery in texture with many more deep lines than I remembered. She literally looks 65, not 55. She looked really ill to be honest. Shaky, tired eyes, basically a nervous wreck for no apparent reason.
It is hard to feel bad for her, I know this is how I should feel. It just mystifies me how she cannot see what she is doing to herself? She brought us a bottle of 4 euro wine from the supermarket as a house warming gift, it was 11 AM. What kind of a message is this? For me it says 'I couldn't care less about either one of you.' So scary, and I know she doesn't feel this way.
Their mother is now in a nursing home and she was my sister in law's part time gig.
When she didn't know what to do with herself she would come up with some problem that had to be solved for her mother. The latest has been changing light bulbs and a sweaky door. It is really sad and I think she is drinking even more as her mother not needing her anymore has to have created a pretty big void.
It is so clear she is killing herself and whenever my husband mentions her drinking she takes offense, so he refuses to bring it up.
So, what is my conclusion? Why bring this up? Because all of us here are doing the best thing by quitting or trying to quit the drink.
Even if you cannot manage 100% every day AF is a step in the right direction. If you keep at it you will get there. It took me years to stop. And life is a lot easier on me in a short 5 month period.
Last week there was a guy helping on a very frustrating project at work and all afternoon he kept announcing how he was going to get drunk in the evening.
It reminded me of how my brain used to work. Thank god it isn't doing THAT anymore. Good grief.
All I can say is all of this is definitely worth the effort.
Doing some reading here and catching up. I am working now, finally, and have to create a routine to incorporate time here as part of my day.
I have tried posting in the mornings, but there just isn't enough time, so evenings it will be. Byrdie you are so right we have to stay connected or face potentially rough seas ahead. I have had enough of that life, so I plan to do what it takes.
I have to share something from our week-end.
One of the reasons I decided I must quit drinking is because of my sister in law. I just didn't want my husband to be married to someone like his sister. And I didn't drink even close to what she does, but I could just see the direction I was headed. I know this sounds mean, sorry.
She drinks heavily, becomes inappropriate and rude, and is just kind of an all around faux pas.
It has been about a year and three months that I have seen her in person and she stopped by to see our new appartment. It was a little tricky to share her enthusiasm for the space as I have actually had my art studio here for almost two years now. I know my husband has told her many times, but she forgets.
The trouble with forgetting too often is people (like me) start to think that they (I) are/am just not important enough to be remembered.
Anyhow, since the last time I saw her she has had a facelift, lost weight, and dyed her hair blond; she is 55.
When I saw her I thought 'omg, she looks 15 years older, not younger. What in the world is going on? Her skin was pale, leathery in texture with many more deep lines than I remembered. She literally looks 65, not 55. She looked really ill to be honest. Shaky, tired eyes, basically a nervous wreck for no apparent reason.
It is hard to feel bad for her, I know this is how I should feel. It just mystifies me how she cannot see what she is doing to herself? She brought us a bottle of 4 euro wine from the supermarket as a house warming gift, it was 11 AM. What kind of a message is this? For me it says 'I couldn't care less about either one of you.' So scary, and I know she doesn't feel this way.
Their mother is now in a nursing home and she was my sister in law's part time gig.
When she didn't know what to do with herself she would come up with some problem that had to be solved for her mother. The latest has been changing light bulbs and a sweaky door. It is really sad and I think she is drinking even more as her mother not needing her anymore has to have created a pretty big void.
It is so clear she is killing herself and whenever my husband mentions her drinking she takes offense, so he refuses to bring it up.
So, what is my conclusion? Why bring this up? Because all of us here are doing the best thing by quitting or trying to quit the drink.
Even if you cannot manage 100% every day AF is a step in the right direction. If you keep at it you will get there. It took me years to stop. And life is a lot easier on me in a short 5 month period.
Last week there was a guy helping on a very frustrating project at work and all afternoon he kept announcing how he was going to get drunk in the evening.
It reminded me of how my brain used to work. Thank god it isn't doing THAT anymore. Good grief.
All I can say is all of this is definitely worth the effort.
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