Newbies Nest

[peppersnow]

Yes - Wow! I think the energy many were missing is back - These were very valuable posts.

Thanks!

[KENSHO]

Wow, being sober is wonderful. So are the gooey warm chocolate chip cookies that the neighbor just brought over. God, it's so much better than a drink!

Ava, I think I got to the point my previous quit that my family noticed a definite difference. Not sure the husband was on board yet, but the kids smiled a WHOLE lot more. In fact, this past weekend when I decided to experiment with AL again, they were noticeably teary and emotional and I feel that had something to do with me. I look forward to breaking way past 60 days and reaching that "better me".

ABCOWBOY, I love the hole allegory. Fitting - take the damn different road!

NS, in case others do not click on your link to the Huffington Post article that was so inspiring, my favorite lines were "Recovery is not a sacrifice, it's empowering." and "Recovery is giving up nothing and choosing more." I copied and pasted to refer to the positive nature of these words often.

J-Vo: "Calm app" - is this for real? I need one.

Love your avatar Pepper.

My son came down with the yucky tummy stuff this afternoon. Instead of my thoughts being focused on when and where I would get a drink, I was focused on his needs. Mom's are truly so important to sick little ones - I still call my mom when I need chicken soup!

Hugs to all. Thanks for being here. :heartbeat:

[narilly]

Goodnight everyone. I just lost a post so I will chat more in the am.

Great posts today.

[okoren1]

Boy, the nest is rocking again... Good to see.

Kensho and J-Vo, I realize you have struggled recently, but I have to tell you, that you both have been an inspiration to me (and I am sure others) in a couple of ways.

Both of you come back, promptly. Dusted yourselves off and got back to work. Very admirable! We've all seen some other folks also struggle around here, and we never seem to hear from them again. I always wonder what happened? I worry it wasn't good.

Second, you have put a serious fear into my heart. I can feel the personal anguish you are feeling when you come back. By the graces of God, I've never relapsed and a significant reason is I am basically a chicken, and am not sure I would have the strength to come back. The detailed anguish of coming back from a relapse is palpable. So, while I am so sorry to hear of your troubles, rest assured that there is much good that flows from them. Nothing is wasted.

I recall that sometime last year, NS raised the topic of relapses here (or maybe in the 100-day abstainers, I forgot which) in which she did some serious digging into the causes of relapses. NS I am sure you will remember this. The discussion went on for quite a while. Hugely valuable stuff.

MWO is a huge repository of super valuable data and real-life experiences. The toolbox is there for many of these. I sometimes wish there was a better way of cataloging all this stuff, so that a seeker can access it in a little easier format.

[Pavati]

Good evening, Nest:

So much great wisdom here today!

But this is the one that got me:

But most of all i cant let me down again.

That's about it, Ava.

Thanks for all of your words of wisdom today everyone. I have baseball fever and can't contribute much as I am on my way to bed.

Pav

[Cherokeer]

I had a dream last night that I had drank and I was so furious that it happened I roared like a lion. Woke me right up. I rarely ever dream. Freudian? Anyone else with crazy dreams? lol

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Grateful to be here after a crappy night of hot flashes & thunder storms that kept me awake from 1 - 3:30 am, Ha Ha!!!!
Oh well!!

Chero, I've had some doozy dreams myself over the years! Frightening & annoying at first but then you realize that your subconscious is finally getting on board with your quit & that's great! Learn to acceptance these annoyances as little gifts from the universe

Still fairly dark & damp outside so I guess that's it for the day.
Wishing everyone a terrific AF Wednesday!

Lav

[Yogamom]

Good Morning All. Sober, hang over free morning here. Inspired by all the wisdom here. DH came home last night from his trip and all went well. No desire to drink or club him on the head.

Rahul - no coffee - wow! I need a substitute vice. Something to reach for, purchase, plan for, etc. You are far ahead of me.

Kensho - my guy was sick yesterday too. He is not too little - 11 yo but still wants mommy when he is sick.

Byrdie - still laughing about the panty liners. Is nothing sacred? Nope! LOL. I need a good laugh.

AB - still thinking about your story. Powerful.

Got book on Mindfulness and the 12 Steps of of Amazon. Very good so far.

Well, kids off to school. Chickens fed. Pigs fed. Momma gotta go check on grandma and then head to work. Dogs and cats fed too. At least pigs won't be around much longer. Thank you all for being here.

[Byrdlady]

Just came across a great blog post that relates to yesterday's discussion about the way we think about what we're doing here: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/carr...b_2760742.html

Miss Thang,
I wonder if you would be kind enough to open this link and put it in the Tool Box? I found ( and Im still guilty of it) of NOT reading links! Maybe there is a support group for people who have Link Click Aversion? However, I DID open that one and it was a keeper!
This journey is all a matter of perspective! To a worm, digging around in the hard barren earth is a lot more relaxing than going fishing! It's how we perceive all of this that is the difference. We aren't giving up much, as it turns out, when you weigh it against all that we gain. Stuff we didnt even know we'd lost!

Great conversations!
Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

P.S. Yes, I AM that cheap to use the wrong panty liners for 100 days. Thanks for your calls and letters, we have a winner! :haha:

[abcowboy]

MAE everyone! I agree with the rest, nice to see the energy in the group! As I wrote about in the poem I posted, I love sober mornings! I am very much a creature of routine, and I enjoy my morning routine....part of which involves reading inspirational quotes.... I want to share one that I read this morning..it really struck home with me about what my journey is all about!

"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place."

Just glad to be here, to have made so many wonderful new friends, and most of all, to be AF! It's hump day, a day I used to start gearing up my drinking to be ready for the weekend, now I think of it as a week half over and didn't need AL to get me here...hope you all have a great day, and remember, keep away from the bad stuff eh!

ring.gif

BTW, anyone seen blownaway recently?

[See the Light]

Funky Town

GMAE all- The energy here is awesome…it surely is changing lives. I’m still working my way out of my funk (somebody cue George Clinton or James brown). My recent negative feelings (an awesome mix of anger and depression) I think translates in to a chemical mix imbalance (especially dopamine and the GABA system) in my brain, that AL was messing with and is still trying to be corrected. I’m taking a few supplements to see how that helps. A link (Sorry Byrdie) if you are interested is below. The psychology and physiology around drinking and mental health are actually an immensely interesting subject…especially if you have found yourself as one of those subjects…


Alcohol and Dopamine

http://www.hamsnetwork.org/dopamine.pdf

“Moreover, the experimental evidence suggests that alcohol does not cause the increase in dopamine directly. Rather, it appears that alcohol directly affects the GABA system and the endorphin system. Neurons from the GABA system extend into the reward pathway and when alcohol affects the GABA system these neurons release dopamine into the reward pathway. Likewise, neurons extend from the endorphin system into the reward pathway and these also release dopamine into the reward pathway when alcohol directly stimulates the endorphin system (Boileau et al, 2003).”

One more related article (and this is in line with the article NS posted yesterday) that was published yesterday (again sorry for anyone with link click aversion)

Why Some People Just Can't Say No
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert...b_5913312.html


Otherwise, I hope everyone is having a great day, staying strong, thinking POSITIVE and being AF.

[narilly]

STL, thanks for the links. I really enjoy reading articles people post here. Thinking Positive here!

Cowboy, I like the quote, that is perfect! All the crap we did when we were drinking, it was nuts. Now I can be the person I was meant to be.

Byrdie, you are hilarious. I love your posts.

My cousin stayed over last night. He works in the dialysis unit and was talking about the types of people that need dialysis. He said that some people come in for dialysis and are actually DRUNK! They get dialyzed and then are sober when they go home. There is nothing the nurses or doctors can do about it, they can't restrict care to these people and they have to give them dialysis. He said lots of people come in for dialysis because they have kidney failure due to diabetes and about 15-20% because of alcohol abuse. Although diabetes can be caused by Alcohol, once it becomes diabetes it is classified as diabetes induced kidney failure. So the number of people getting dialysis because of alcohol is actually higher that stats show.
But OMG it made me cringe just to think that people would be so addicted that even being on dialysis would not make them stop and they would actually go there to get their kidneys cleaned out by a machine so they could go home and drink again. My dad was on dialysis for the last 7 years of his life and he lived such a clean, healthy life. He wanted to live as long as he could and to see people going in drunk is just mind boggling.

Anyway, I typed this in last night on my ipad and then it seized up so I lost it. So Here it is now!

Have a great Sober Wednesday!

[KENSHO]

Happy sober day all! The leaves here are just past prime, but they are still colorful. The kids LOVE throwing them in the air and getting a rain shower of gold. I'm quite sure I would not get such pleasure watching that while drinking.

STL, I am also a bit fascinated with brain chemistry & AL. I will say though, that researching it has been my downfall twice. I have researched enough to almost play into my addiction, as I start to focus on feeling "broken". This last weekend, I was so terrified that if I stopped drinking for good, I would be damned to a life of "low-dopamine". My question was - does the brain reset to normal once alcohol stops? Though I still wish I understood that better, the answer I arrived at was "It doesn't matter because I have to figure out how to live without AL anyway".

I mean absolutely no disrespect, just sharing my opinion that while it can be a tool to understanding, researching brain chemistry turned into a way for me to rationalize drinking TWICE - because "our brains need it", etc.

I am clinging more and more to LAV's philosophy that all we have to do is not drink and stay connected. I've found that I can analyze my way into "deserving" a drink pretty quickly!

Going to try to get a bunch of little stuff off my plate today - clear the way to make big progress on the larger projects. Enjoy fall everyone!

[Dottie Belle]

Kensho I completely agree with this "I am clinging more and more to LAV's philosophy that all we have to do is not drink and stay connected." This has saved me so many times. This week I have been so overwhelmed with stuff that I had thoughts of drinking to relieve the stress. But instead came here for support and distractions.
I am very thankful for this site and all the great folks who support and encourage us all.

[NoSugar]

I was so terrified that if I stopped drinking for good, I would be damned to a life of "low-dopamine". My question was - does the brain reset to normal once alcohol stops? Though I still wish I understood that better, the answer I arrived at was "It doesn't matter because I have to figure out how to live without AL anyway"

You aren't condemned to a life without pleasure, Kensho. When it hits your brain's pleasure center, alcolhol for an addict is like a WAILING SIREN. You hear it and in fact, it's just too much to take so you might put your hands over your ears (i.e. down-regulate dopamine receptors). When sirens are going off all the time and your hands are over your ears, it is impossible to hear quieter things such as an alarm clock (which used to seem pretty loud), normal conversation (which you used to be able to hear just fine) or whispers (which took some work but you could figure out what you were being told). In the same way, things that normal people find pleasurable (and you used to enjoy very much) like sex or a good meal (let's say those are like an alarm clock), a good movie or book (normal conversation), or as Pepper mentioned a couple days ago, a sunset (a whisper) don't stimulate anything in you anymore. You're essentially dead to "lesser" pleasures. But as your brain heals and the dopamine receptors normalize, you're able to experience pleasure from those things that stimulate lower levels of dopamine. You can even hear the whispers.

Just as it takes awhile for your ears to recover from constantly hearing sirens, it takes awhile for your brain to have normal pleasure responses. There are things you can do to help the process along - actively practice gratitude, be conscious of what makes you feel good, look for beauty, focus on the positive, forgive, help others, etc. The only thing you can't do is drink or take another addictive substance again because the wail of that siren is going to ruin your hearing again.

This is a pretty simplified view of what goes on with dopamine and the parts of the brain that are involved but I find it a useful way to look at the situation we find ourselves in. In fact, I think about all this every time I hear a siren - it's a good reminder!