Newbies Nest

[Yogamom]

Good Morning Nesters! Kids off! Hubby off! Animals fed! Dishes, oh crap. Those too. Make sure mom's care taker shows up. double crap. Then off to a busy day at work. Why would I want to do this with a hangover? Tonight will be tough. Takeout and a glass of wine is my treat for working a long day!

Kensho - glad your feeling better.

Rahul - your writing is beautiful

Sarah - Good luck with dh's procedure!

lav - somehow i picture you as a mother hen here in the nest and when i read your posts I see that bird in the avatar talking to me. Lol.

pavati - thanks for the link. very sad.

have a good day all!!

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, Nesters near and far!
Lav, you finally beat those words into my thick head about gratitude. I thought you were full of hooey, but actually practicing that really DID make all the difference.
Throwing, attending and not leaving The Pity Party will cause so much un-needed stress! It can derail a nester faster than a monkey chasing a bananna on a llama! I know this thought process well. I start ruminating on all the things I dont have and cant have. Its like whem someone tells you NOT to think of a BLUE HORSE. Thats all you CAN think of. Using Lav's Gratitude thinking will dig you out of this self-imposed ditch. Instead of focusing on the ONE THING in those pictures of fine restaurants you cant have think this way: I am CHOOSING not to drink that crap. It is killing me. It is a very nice restaurant, I can go there if I want to because I have the means to do so. I can have any food on the menu. I have a wonderful hubs or my friends to go with me. I can walk in there under my own power, I am strong and healthy enough to go to any restaurant I choose. These are the things to focus on. The times of our lives are measured by the people and places we encounter....NOT by whats in that glass on the table.
Hope you got some good rest, J-vo. I had a Pop tart the other day at the airport, after 35 years, they still dont taste good! bah! Maybe you were able to heat yours.
As that TV classic says.....You've got toooo.....AC-cent-tchu-Ate the Positive......EEEE- Lim-in-ate the negative and don't mess with Mr. In-Between! Words to live by, there!
Hope everyone has an easy day!!!
Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Hi! Sarah, Day 5 was always the hardest for me. Something about it. But once I made it through, things got easier. No one here (or anywhere) who went back to drinking has felt better for it, and EVERYONE who has maintained a quit has found a peace as PINECONE so beautifully worded it. I am amazed at the language that comes out of those who are QUIT - peaceful, calm and truly happy.

If you can make it to day 5, trust me, you can make it to day 7. What's ONE hard day out of a lifetime of days? You can do it! Pull out the tools and distract and eat and sleep and repeat it!

Sending lots of good thoughts to everyone here today.

[frances]

Good morning all - just checking in to say hello and have a great AF day!

For those of you not sure if you can make it today...hang in there - you can do this - keep reading and posting and have your plan in place! Do not give in! It is sooooo worth it!

[narilly]

I second what Frances says above!
Have a great AF day everyone.

Thanks for the link Pav. So many people die everyday from it and no one has a clue.

So happy I am not drinking!

Talk later.

[DreamThinkDo]

I've not been in the Nest for ages - I see my perch is dusty! :blush: :blush:

Sarah, I'm doing happy inkele:inkele: dances for your five days! And you survived the weekend early in your quit - you got through that: let it pull you through tomorrow. Yes, it won't be a nice or an easy day, but will drinking change anything about your husband's tests? Come here and post - you know there will be arms to catch you if you feel overwhelmed. And best of luck to him.

Everybody, have a great - and sober - day!

[j-vo]

Evening Nestees,
I'm actually feeling a bit better today. What I've realized that even though I'm feeling a bit shitty, I'm getting through those moments without drink. Yeah, I'm feeling it. Feeling some depression. But I know that it would be magnified had I been drinking through it. I would have bought a bottle of wine, each night I was feeling this way, which would have led me to take a sick day here or there. But I got through the day, even though I turned a classic movie on for the kids and worked on preparing for the second nine weeks. Don't worry. The movie's not for nothing! Character analysis, theme, plot, all good stuff. That's my defensive side...

Byrd and Lav, yes, very good points about the gratitude. I'm grateful for having you force me to focus on what matters. Sometimes that's really hard going through depression, but I can. I'm grateful that in a few minutes, I'm gonna continue watching breaking bad for the second time. I'm grateful to you nest moms for making me see the truth. The truth is, Lav, I do want to succeed. I need to ignore the false advertisements and focus on what is right for me. And yes, Byrdie, I can't have something that will ultimately kill me, so shit, I can be grateful for that for sure. I like how you said "The times in our lives are measured by the people and places we encounter and not by what's in a glass." Wise words. Thank you. Those times when I was out with friends and drank weren't really quality time with them. It was quality drunk time with me, myself and I. It can be lonely even when you're with people if you're drunk.

Yoga, great attitude!

Sarah, good on your five!

Hi Ican. Welcome back and settle in with us. Good advice around here.

Pav, I really liked Elizabeth Pena. The last time I saw her was on Modern Family, one of my fav shows. She was in one of my DH's fav movies "LaBamba," and I cant tell you how many times we watched that one. DH even sang that song on a cruise we were on, he loved that so much. No, he doesn't speak Spanish! But when I read things like that, it scares me, as it should. It could happen to me or anyone drinking over safe limits, and I won't ever be able to drink normally. I need to keep reading those kinds of articles.

Hi DTD and Mr. B and LB and Rahul (safe travels).

G, the exercise is so 'right on.' I need to do that, if for just five or ten minutes. It makes me feel so good. I should do it during lunch or during my plan period. It doesn't have to be at home on my treadmill. I need to sneak it in here or there. Thanks for that reminder.

Pinecone, loved your post.

Onto Breaking Bad.

[MossRose]

Hi nesters. Well the weather has made an abrupt change so tonight I'm snuggling in, and practicing for winter. Today was interesting. There's always a lot of drama at work, but today I feel like a few of us actually made a difference. We tried anyway. I won't bore you with the details, but I'm smiling.

j-vo - I'm glad you trust us enough to be completely honest about how you are feeling. I think that's what gets so many of us in trouble in the first place. Our inability to just say what we mean.. You are absolutely correct - it sucks. I've felt the exact same way. But as Byrdie and Lav said, we need to use gratitude as a tool for healing. Sending hugs and love your way. You've got this, my friend. And there's always Netflix. LOL. Right there with you.

ICAN and DTD - you're back!! So glad to see you both.

Yogamom - You mentioned Lav being a mother hen. She is what I consider one of the MWO angels, along with many others (Byrdie!!). And there are many more. These wonderful people hang around to help the rest of us find our way out. I've said it before - I'm not sure why they do it, but I am so thankful that they do.

Off to get some dinner and call my brother. It's his birthday!!

[Mr. B]

Hi Sarah day 5 is awesome keep it up. I been there so many times. J - vo glad your feeling better.

[narilly]

Hi everyone!
El, I just saw your post about your dad. So glad you could just turn off the computer and so glad you didn't drink. He is like a big bully.

J-Vo, glad you are feeling better.
Bad ass G, ride that Llama like a Boss! That made me laugh.
Nice to see you DTD and Mossy.
Hey Mr B, hello!
Super sleepy right now so I'm signing off...
Xo

[little beagle]

Gratitude becomes a habit.
Glad to see you Ican.
Pinecone eonderful post. Thanks.
Byrdie I got a great laugh. I needed it.
J-vo I know its hard. I have "No Matter What" tattooed across my minds eye.
Good to see you Mr. B
Rahul I love hearing about your travels and how far you have come in your personal journey. Be safe.

[KENSHO]

Hiya All. Getting some work done tonight and looking very forward to bed. Long week this one, but I'm glad to be sober. My new favorite thing is mindfulness - been reading about it and it is amazing.

Sleep tight!

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

One Bubble Hour on willingness would be good to mention here. One of the guests talks about willingness to suspend disbelief in order to get sober. For example, you may think gratitude is BS (I did, too, Byrdie), but to get sober you have to be willing to believe that an intentional practice of gratitude is GOOD. Why? Because successful sober people tell us it is true. As it turns out, finding ALL there is to be grateful about getting sober has shifted my mindset from deprivation to, well, gratitude.

I have more to say (surprise), but I am heading to bed. This October baseball is killing me. Onward to game 7.

Stay willing, my friends.

Pav

[Eloise]

Hi everyone!
El, I just saw your post about your dad. So glad you could just turn off the computer and so glad you didn't drink. He is like a big bully.

J-Vo, glad you are feeling better.
Bad ass G, ride that Llama like a Boss! That made me laugh.
Nice to see you DTD and Mossy.
Hey Mr B, hello!
Super sleepy right now so I'm signing off...
Xo

Yeah, and sorry but I can't even give him the excuse that 'he doesn't know what he is doing.' He has been living so many years in a society where he feels he has no peers that he just doesn't ever consider anyone else's thoughts, input, conversation, feelings... etc. He just talks. When we speak on Skype it is him talking, when I try to add something he speak over me. Then I sit there quiet and after a long while he gets it that he has been annoying. But, who care?! Not him. And when I tell him I have to go, he will never just say okay, nice to talk to you. He has to say when the conversation is over. It is so embarrassing really and BAD manners.
My god sometimes I think what was the point of bringing up children with a proper education and manners when you (the father) is going to behave exactly the opposite?
My brother has little to nothing to do with him for years and I understand why. It has always been 'do as I say, not as I do.'
Shameful if you ask me and a real lack of character.

Opps. I guess I am still angry about all this, will work on it. My anger doesn't hurt anyone but me.
No one else cares if I am upset so what is the point? No point at all, gotta let it go out into the universe and burn up in space.
Ahh.... time for Pilates!

[Guitarista]

Hi all,

Just checking in. Feeling a bit wobbly. Should be ok though. G