Newbies Nest

[MossRose]

Hello Nesters. Hope everyone is doing well.

Matt, thanks for your post. Such an important topic. Learning to deal with life straight up has been the roughest part of this journey for me and I haven't always succeeded. But I'm finally learning a few strategies to get through. I think many of us never learned how to deal with strong emotions. At least not appropriately. It was easier to just dull the pain. I'm sad - I need a drink! I'm happy - I need a drink! I'm tired, angry, frustrated (fill in the blank) - I need a drink! That was basically my MO for decades. Then when I didn't have AL to dampen those emotions, I had to feel again. I hated it. I was unskilled at it. It really is a learned behavior and it takes time, so go easy on yourself. You've been through a lot lately.

And btw...I am going to give you a pat on the back because you save lives and help others. And at the end the day, even with all the bad memories, you can be proud of the good you do. As G said, maybe a group that truly understands might help. Congrats on 87 days!!

BG - glad to see you posting.

Nothing new to report here, which is a good thing. Dinner is simmering on the stove and then just looking forward to a relaxing night.

[abcowboy]

Matt my friend, why not share with all of us? And next year when we're sitting around the fire after a day long hunt, letting the small bucks walk by, 2 old "drunks" can watch the 2 young guys enjoy the JD while we hold a cup of hot coffee in our hands and tell stories and tall tales! By the way, the boys came back from their week long hunt with 14 grouse, 1 50" wolf, and no other fur! They said it was because their good luck charm stayed at home lol. And just to rub it in, opening day Saturday, you don't want to see what we got on the trail cams! Have a good one my friend!

And fellow Nestor's , I don't post often, but I read every post, every day, keep up the good fight! Halloween tomorrow, but the only Trick or Treating we'll all be doing is at our front door as we put a big smile on the faces of the youngster's as we fill their bags! Remember when we were that youngster.......

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Looks like it's been another successful day in the nest - great

BG, acceptance is a big hurdle & the sooner you get yourself there the better! Sounds like you are making great strides, good for you!

Matt M, I happen to be a retired RN who put in nearly 30 years of service. I know the ugly stuff can get to you, it used to cause me nightmares at times. My son (who happens to be named Matt) is a firefighter/paramedic in a big city too - Washington DC. He's ten years into his career & often talks about leaving it, but I don't think he will. He loves his job too. You really have to seperate yourself, leave it all at work so you don't bring all that stress into your home to affect your family. Btw, my husband is a retired cop so, as a family we have seen it ALL
Feel free to vent here, I'm sure lots of us will understand.

Greetings to everyone else & congrats on another AF day.
Wishing everyone a safe & restful night in the nest!

Lav

[BeachGirly]

Thanks Matt for sharing your story with us. It can be hard to admit feelings, even to ourselves.

I work in the health field, and see alot of the same things. We do have debriefing at work, as well as paid support if we need to. I have always done the same as you, and tried to hide my feelings. (in wine). I have never tried the services offererd, for the same reason...we are there to help, we dont need help!

Even though these services are completey confidential, I have concerns still that it might get back to my supervisor.

I do have to say - I have NEVER had AL in my system at work.

All the best and thank you for 20 yrs of great service to the community!

MossRose - I am a bit afraid to start to feel again. I am concerned I will totally fall apart, or the changes in the rest of my life I may need to face.

[Byrdlady]

Wow, all of this makes my job sound like a walk in the park! Thank you all for doing the hard yards every day! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[MossRose]

BG - there will be changes in your life. That's a given. You won't fall apart. It might feel that way at times, but you are stronger than you think. It will be different. It will be better at times. It will feel worse at times. But you will be living an authentic life.

The good news is that many of the changes in my life have been good ones. My son is speaking to me again. My career is going forward. My finances are finally getting in order. So yes, there are changes. And the road may get bumpy. But you have us!! Lean as hard on us as you need to in the beginning. I did, and the people here never let me down.

Take care, BG. This is doable. xx

[KENSHO]

Quick check in to keep me sane... haven't slept more than 9 hours in 2 nights, son accidentally gave daughter 200 mg. caffeine at 6pm (never had it before), carving pumpkins, hubby seems to be catching tummy trouble, hubby downloaded new adobe update and computer isn't working properly, have one more set of halloween treats to do for kids, and 3+ hours of work still. I'm trying to see the humor in my daughter's spazing, but actually I find myself wanting a drink and a quiet room. I'm translating - need quiet room. I will not give in - I recognize my desire as a response to stress. Looking forward to sleeping all weekend. Hope your others' nights are quieter! Hugs.

[j-vo]

Matt,
I'm glad you're recognizing that drinking through these tough life situations that attack our emotions and leave us shaken isn't going to help you. I need to do the same and just know that thinking about it, knowing that these painful emotions will be there, is a normal thing in life. And, yes, it's best to let them go, in writing or talking to someone. Talk when you're feeling down, just like you did. It is ok to feel this way. It doesn't feel good, but I bet if we keep getting through these tough times without alcohol, we'll learn a great deal about ourselves, especially that we're not weak people. The the opposite. Feeling through tough times is new to a lot of us. Strength to you.

STL, I hope you have a much better halloween than last year. Your story brough back a memory for me, one humiliating experience of passing out in my cousins upstairs bathroom after my aunt's 60th birthday. I was 44 years old, suppose to be a mature adult. There were many more mortifying experiences, but remembering them is something that I need to do as I don't ever want to go back to that dark place.

Beachgirly, keep it going. 4 days is hard, but you've got the hardest days under your belt. We alkies can find decades of excuses to drink. We need no excuses, but have to provide them to our loved ones. We drink because we are alcoholics. Plain and simple. We can't drink because we are allergic and we react badly to a poison. Hang in there girly.

[little beagle]

I enjoyed everyone's posts tonight. Just doing a quick check in. I am so tired.

[Matt M.]

Thanks G, I appreciate you! You are knocking on 100! That is Bad Ass my friend!


SORRY FOR THE MULTIPLE POST, IM ON MY PHONE AND HAVING TROUBLE FLIPPING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN PAGES....YES IM SPECIAL

[Matt M.]

Moss~ Your advice and experience is heartfelt and thanks for the kind words!

[Matt M.]

Cowboy~ I would be hesitant to share some things on an open forum, just to graphic. HOWEVER, I love the whole Canada hunting scenario you described! Made my pants happyosteroops:
I would love to see what you have on your trail cams,! firedude.mk@gmail.com

Thanks for the kind words old buddy!

[Matt M.]

Lav~ Your a certified bad ass! 30 years as an RN is incredible, and your family in Public safety. Washington DC is big, they have some of the busiest Engine companys in the US..
My father was in Law Enforcement for 30+
Thank you!

[Matt M.]

Ok now I can reply on one page:newhere:

Hey Byrd!

Kensho~ Hang in there!

Jvo~ You are right on with everything you said. You sound good!

Beachgirl~ thanks, keep doing what your doing, by staying plugged in here! You are doing great!
Hope I didn't miss anyone!

[BeachGirly]

Thanks everyone for the support this eve - the monkey was scratching at my back big time...but I am here, reading and AF

Thank you!