Newbies Nest

[Elvis]

Thanks STL, Lavande, NS and Pinecone. I probably need to add a whole bunch of tools to my plan. Need to reconnect here as well. Just feel like I can't get ahead, like every new day is no better than yesterday. I've got some positive things happening in my life that I should be happy and excited about, but all I'm feeling is meh. Also, it doesn't help that I fell asleep watching TV on the couch at 7:30 and my wife asked me if I was drinking again. Fair enough, given my history and all, but I haven't been sleeping great lately either, so I'm sure that's adding to my bad mood. Need a good week or so of positivity to balance things out.

Have a great night my friends.

[treetops]

I'm not a regular on this thread but couldn't say no to supporting someone called Elvis! You have lots of good advice. Sometimes we just have to resign ourselves to feeling bleh and to sleep when and where we can. Hopefully that irons out but give yourself time. Take time for the little things and appreciate them. But don't expect to suddenly feel wonderful - recovery is a long slow road with many twists and turns - not a magic moment. The magic is in the process and it will hit you and be worth it.

[available]

It took me nearly 7 months to even out and even now i am still a work in progress but i accept that and go with what and how i feel. Only I can change the way i feel and for today i feel great. I wish i could sleep also, blah to that one!

[narilly]

Happy Sober Halloween everyone, I will check in and chat more tomorrow.

[little beagle]

Elvis not getting enough sleep is rough. Hang in there. I know I'd 1000x's rather be tired then hungover though.
Congratulations Ginger on your 6 months.
Ava on your 11 months. That year is almost here for you and Pav. Wow!
Good to see you Daisy
BG have a safe, sober, happy trip.
Roadside Byrdie Happy Halloween Birthdays.
Nite all

[Pavati]

Quick check in on Halloween for me, too.

AVA! Whoot! 11 months is amazing. I am so sorry for all you are going through - and so happy you aren't drinking through it!

Great job, Ginger, on 6 months .

Happy Birthday, Byrdie! And Roadside!

Good night, all.

Pav

[Guitarista]

Aloha y'all,

G'night Pavi.

Hang in there Elvis. Are you into boxing at all? What about getting down to a gym and hitting the bag for a few rounds. No need to hit hard and potentially hurt yourself, but just the physical act of punching the bag may help. I use it as a metaphor for socking it to AL and any frustration or negativity. Just an idea. Take it easy friend.

Hope all are okay. Think positive friends.

[daisy45]

Morning all and thanks for the welcome back.
Elvis, hugs to you.
I have tried and tried to stop since breaking my AF run of 88 days in August. This has been tough. I am no sooner on the way and there is the wine pulling me into reverse......
Something different this time though.....I was getting afraid.....genuinely afraid that I might not live another day.....my body has been reacting differently and I know I should respect myself more. Not every day, but enough to scare me.
Sweating, getting numb patches, itching......I don't need a medical degree to know How much damage I could be doing. Sure how much more convincing do I need? My dad dying from liver cancer? Not even that stopped this determined alco!
I had support from a couple of MWO friends while away.....someone believing in you when you do not......cannot even tell you what that means to me.
So glad they did as I may have drifted further away.......
Anyway, here I am, ready for action! I said at the beginning of this year that I would be sober in 2014 and I am.....yesterday, today.....aaaaah, feels good to be back! Actually got a bit tearful writing this.....

[Sarah42]

Elo, I have a colonoscopy next Wednesday....jealous?
I'm sure your hair looks FAB! In fact, you look fantastic today!
Sorry about the candy corn issue...try an online search, maybe there are some at a local shop? Wish you lived closer to me, maybe you should move? XXOO, B

I'm soon behind u on the colonoscopy. No pun intended. Don't forget...ask for Prepopic!!!!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Dark & stormy here in my portion of the nest today. Good day to make a bog pot of soup

Elvis & Daisy, you both can make this quit your last quit! All you have to do differently is say goodbye to AL once & for all! I made a solemn vow to myself that I would never touch it again & I haven't - you guys can do it too!
I'm happy that you are both back in the nest for support

Greetings to all & sending wishes for a nice AF Saturday!

Lav

[Elvis]

Thanks treetops, little beagle, and Daisy . I don't have to like it but I need to accept the cards I am being dealt at this time and give it time to change. Woke up again at 3:30 am and couldn't get back to a deep sleep again. No fun, but I have a low key weekend planned so I will take it easy and relax as much as I can.

Daisy, I've been there with knowing what's it like needing to respect what the body is telling you about drinking. There were definitely days when I seriously wondered if I would die that day or not. The good news is you will feel better by not drinking. It takes time, but during my almost 300 days of not drinking, I felt the healthiest I ever remember, a far change from waking up every morning wondering of today would be my last.

Guitarista, not into boxing but good advice on getting some exercise. I haven't made it to the gym in over a week due to other commitments. I know that's not helping. I will try to get back on my normal gym schedule this week.

New month everyone, hope you have a great one!

[j-vo]

Thank you for all the valuable posts. Drinking alcohol didn't start off as a disease for any of us, but over time, it evolved into that. We became addicted both physically and mentally over time. Over time, we used it as our medicine. And it slowly started stripping away all the good stuff in us - physically and mentally. We stopped caring about ourselves and important things and people in our lives, and we ceased being who we were meant to be. The thing that is so clear to me is that it's going to take time to heal, distance between me and al (a big one) learning new habits, leaning on your circle of support, tools, and honesty with yourself. Addiction is serious. And I never really thought of it as a serious thing, until I started to really think about it. But as I'm trying so hard to overcome these addictive behaviors instead of opting out of difficult feelings the easy way, pouring al down my throat, I know addiction is a bitch. Like Pav said, learning ways to settle down, different ways to please your brain; it needs to become a habit. It can't become a habit if we don't do it over and over again. When we hit a wall, we have to practice these new behaviors, over and over. Choose the right way over and over. One day at a time. Until so much distance (Byrd) is between us and al that we don't have to think about it so much, so that most of the time, it's not hard to choose the right thing, and little by little, we gain our value back, we build that new life. We start to like ourselves, and then maybe love ourselves. Tools. Support. Time. Distance.

Ginger, congratulations on your 6 months!

Daisy, welcome back. Glad you're here. Last week, Pav posted an article about Elizabeth Pena. She died of alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver. These kinds of articles 'get me.' She was only 55. This can happen to us. I know over the years, I've felt a dull ache in my right side. I know what that is and what it's from. Honesty. Alcohol will kill us if we don't stop. I've seen other people die from it as you have, too. Let's do this together.

Ava, sorry about your past week's difficulties and bad news. You're dealing with each day choosing the right things, leaning on your support. You're so right. You needed to pull up all of your resources this past week, and you got through major difficulties. You used all of them as you needed them. That's what I call a great role model. Thank you.

[See the Light]

I feel delirious after this week - but so grateful to be sober. I had a great time at a halloween party tonight (parents and kids). Some were drinking. I can't say I haven't thought about it the last few days - I've had my share of tired, hungry and stressed. It's amazing how that has influenced my body's desires. But I know what it would do for me- put me right back in that place I was 12 days ago - feeling lost, angry, confused, obsessed and under an influence. Tonight, I feel free, confident, happy, and generally proud to be me, a non-drinker.

My pillow is calling. I'll catch up on reading after some zzzzzz's. Love to all.

I know how that is....went to neighborhood house last night..everyone was drinking...most of them knew my situation/status...I was still offered drinks... then they got nervous and offered me water ..what the hell..so close ...last year I would have said of course...this year I said " I'm good"..then these people I hang out with made "witches brew" whatever the hell that is (it as was AL for sure as they were all drunk)..walking our kids around for trick or treats...I was the responsible one, watching to make sure the kids crossed the street safely, made sure they were saying thank you..who would have figured.....while people were drinking and acting like fools....waking up this morning I was SO glad I was on the other side of that mess...hope you all are having a great weekend !

[Byrdlady]

Hey all! So glad to see Daisy and Elvis making it thru a holiday so early on.
I must tell you that I was so GLAD that I have as much AF time behind me as I do because last night I was surrounded by well-wishing neighbors who were all over indulging, including my hubs! He has a hangover today! The host kept topping everyone off, so it was hard to tell just how much they were consuming, but I saw him open at least 4 bottles during the course of 3 hours we were there. I know a couple bottles were open already. Yes, I do notice these things. Somehow I want to justify that what I drank was normal....but alas. One person there left some in her glass! The thing is that as much as they were drinking there in front of me, I would have been sneaking it in the back ground. I would have gone to the bathroom and chugged from my hairspray bottle. I don't care who you are, this is not normal! In spite of all that, I had a GREAT time!!! They got loud, I got loud! THEY told jokes, I told jokes! The looser they got, the looser I got! I absolutely fit in and everyone had a great time. I bet they all have big heads this morning. We are going to another party tonight. I'm sure I will be the only non drinker here, too, but that doesn't bother me one bit. Being where I am in my head is MORE important than any dam drink! If I can do this, I know all of you can!! I used to say I can resist anything, except temptation! But isn't really temptation, this is SURVIVAL. Drinking the way we do is going to kill us unless we stop. When I put it that way, it's an easy choice!

I hope everyone had a safe and happy Halloween!! Bring on the holidays!!! Hugs to all, and thank you, Lav for getting me to this place in my life. XXOO, B

[Byrdlady]

I know how that is....went to neighborhood house last night..everyone was drinking...most of them knew my situation/status...I was still offered drinks... then they got nervous and offered me water ..what the hell..so close ...last year I would have said of course...this year I said " I'm good"..then these people I hang out with made "witches brew" whatever the hell that is (it as was AL for sure as they were all drunk)..walking our kids around for trick or treats...I was the responsible one, watching to make sure the kids crossed the street safely, made sure they were saying thank you..who would have figured.....while people were drinking and acting like fools....waking up this morning I was SO glad I was on the other side of that mess...hope you all are having a great weekend !

Cross Post STL! Yes, this is how I felt, too! Responsible and beyond all that nonsense of waking up hungover! GREAT JOB!!!