Newbies Nest

[See the Light]

GMAE everyone- welcome back soft focus. Yes Lav, Fall is surely here now, and almost feels like winter overnight.

Stay strong and AF everyone today

[Yogamom]

Good Morning all. it has been a hectic few days and dh around lots. He would not like me posting on a forum like this at all. Plus, he is a bit controlling, ok alot controlling. if i am on the computer he has to sit next to me and watch what I am doing!

Loved your story Mossrose. So, true that so many of the best times in my life were sober. Actually, if i think about it can't really see what AL added to anything.

Need to catch up and keep posting. Weekend was tough with temptation but I survived.
Cold here in NY this morning, But at least the sun is shining. Will check in later.

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

Thanks so much for the congratulations - no way I'd be here without this place and you all in it. No, Ava, we'll never be "done," but just in case anyone is listening - it REALLY does get a lot easier. I didn't believe people when they said that when I first came - that I would be having a lot of fun without alcohol - but dang if it isn't true.

Ava - I'm in for the wedding of the century.

Pinecone - your post hit home for me. I have a teenaged son who is starting to "go out" with friends, and on Halloween ended up at a party where kids were smoking weed and drinking. It is such a complicated conversation, because literally EVERY party or get-together that we go to, the adults are drinking. I talk about the alcoholism in our family, the fact that he's an athlete, and this time I said that I think it is sad that teenagers feel like they have to be different people in order to have fun. I wish I could go inside their brains and convince them of that. You are right, those belly-laugh sessions that we had were wonderful without booze. Unfortunately, I started drinking at a very young age - I hope he doesn't!

Lav - I didn't get the extra hour either, I just woke up an hour early. I guess that means I can go to sleep really early tonight! I am not a fan of this time of year - the early darkness can creep into my moods. I have to remember to keep up the exercise and eat healthy.

Happy to be counted among the witchy - looking forward to celebrating big time with you all in a month.

xo
Pav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
We went to yet another neighborhood party last night, a costume party, it was a lot of fun to see everyone dressed up. One couple came as the hosting couple! It was hilarious! There was a contest and Mr Byrdlady and I won 3rd prize! I was a Tube of Toothpaste and he wore a 70's leisure suit with white loafters. We went at 7 and I took all the party precautions...I ate something before I went, took my own caffeine free diet coke....but Mr B was having a high old time...at nine, the host (who was feeling NO pain) went ahead and turned the clocks back so it was only 8 again....after 3 hours at this party, it got old....I wanted to go home but Mr LeisureSuit didn't. Finally I told him I was taking the car and he could walk! We left shortly afterwards. I was the only one not drinking and after 3 hours, I had heard the same stories over and over....it sure is different being sober at these things....we used to be the last to leave! I was really glad to get home and in my bed.
MossR, great story!! This really is a mind game, isn't it?
Pinecone, the best memories I have are the ones where I am sober. The opposite of that is true as well....some of the worst I have are when I was drunk.
Hope everyone has an easy day!!! Byrdie

[Londoner]

Just a quick check in. I hope everyone is staying strong.

Brief update on where I'm at.

My weekend drinking and nutrition habits have weakened my body and mind.

There is so much more to recovery than just giving up booze. So I am focussing on improving the health of my gut, improving my sleep quality and reintroducing exercise that isn't too tough to recover from.

The goal at the moment is to build up my 'inner energy'. That will improve my mood and motivation.

The next step is to work on my business. To have that something in life that gives that zest, that drive to get up in the morning.

And then, maybe look for a woman - every man needs a good woman in his life.

I won't be on here often. One of my goals is to spend LESS time on the computer and MORE time improving my social skills sans alcohol.

So far, 2 days into this multi faceted recovery, and I feel much better already.

[Matt M.]

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've not been on at all recently - a combination of the site being down, being on holiday, family funeral, lots of work nonsense and just getting out of the habit. Have been reading back for the past week or so but this is me just got to the end!!
SFx

SF~ Glad you found your way back. What you said in the quotation sums it up for me and likely the majority of folks in here. As soon as we get a few AF days under the belt, our minds begin to clear out a bit and our old F up AL mind begins its convincing, cunning ways. I am a workaholic and I can easily convince myself that just staying busy will keep me dry. And this I know is utter bullshit. When I'm not connected to other people who have what I have, think like I think, then I will begin doing it like before.
Hence what I say often,( not to boast or brag,) that seemed to resonate with others in here. It can be said many ways.
If you or I fall into our old way of thinking, living, working etc, etc. The chances of sustained sobriety are ZERO. I believe this all my heart.
This is my AA, my life depends on it, the alternative scares the shit out of me, because I do not believe I have another quit in me.
Busy or not, stay connected to us or some support!

You had also mentioned, you surprisingly didn't drink much this time off the wagon.
I have a masters degree in falling off the wagon, I have enough AA sobriety chips to tile a bathroom floor, That being said almost everytime I feel off the wagon, I started back "easy" "social". Everyone one if those times my illness and drinking progressively got worse.
And that's all I got to say about that!
Thanks all for the 90 day shoutouts

[available]

Hi nesters

We started daylight savings a few weeks ago so i am finally adapted to the time. I am glad our weather is kind of getting warmer although im definitely not a fan of the heat.

SF as Matt says it starts slow with drinking but rapidly turns to shite. Keep on here and keep posting. You have had the days and you can do it again. I remember my first af holiday and it was in Thailand, alky heaven as i call it. I remember looking up at the sky a lot i didnt see those "oh so happy people sipping their drinks and enjoying life". It was hard, very hard but nothing in life is easy. nAll of our firsts without al are scary, we make the situation out to be worse than it is and in reality it is okay. Now i may get a thought but that can be controlled. Time, time and more time!

London, well great plan but where is your support network in that mix? Have you done it by yourself yet? I have not seen one person that has stopped drinking by themselves. I would love to spend less time on my computer also but my quit is my number one priority and so i still make it a twice daily check in point for me, then it is up to me to not go on fb,not play games or watch youtube. To start this journey we need a plan and a good solid plan, we need to be gentle on ourselves for weeks or months as the benefits as time goes on are what we are aiming for. Of course we can go in "ghung ho" with we are going to do this, this and this and i tried that also but then i realised i had to leave my ego at the door and listen to what the old timers said. That was hard, listening to someone for starters but you know what? They were dead right, we need the support, we need to be on here, we need to focus and protect our quit above all else and the rest will fall into place.

Matt, start tiling, i want to see the finished product please. You are funny. We need to look at our past drinking and smile, the shame and guilt can be too overwhelming otherwise. I swear if my kids say "mum remember when you were pissed that time", i will be childless. They get the "look" but we have to laugh at what i did, thank god they dont know half of it.

Off to work i go, have a great day

[narilly]

Londoner, I agree with Ava. I would like to be on the computer less but I have to come here for support. MWO saved my life. I never would have been able to do it without the support I got from all of you beautiful people.

Byrdie good on you for leaving the party and having a plan. I went to two parties last night. I did not drink but hubby did and I drove. A few of my friends were hungover, are hungover today but NOT ME! Thank goodness, this makes me very happy.
I went for a walk this morning and did some cooking and I feel great. We turned our clocks back so I have an extra hour of non hungover time. Yes!!
Have a great day everyone.

Glad you are here soft focus and Londoner.

[daisy45]

Hi all. Good day 3. Up early enough after a late night picking up daughters from night out.
Went to mass, then my sisters for dinner, then visited my mum who had a full house.
Back home to a big fire and jammies....then no sooner sat down and up to remove a spider. Sat down again and my daughter comes screaming from the bathroom. A fecking mouse was in there with her and when she came out it ran into my newly cleaned and painted bedroom.
Proud to say that after a half hour dedicated operation my daughters and I got him.
We opened the front door and blocked all other rooms. Ended up climbing my curtain and with nowhere else to go, dropped and jumped out my front door,
I will sleep better tonight. Found a dropping 2 days ago and had suspicions.....Phew!

[Guitarista]

Hello Nesters near and not so far,

Glad your covert operation behind enemy lines to flush out that mouse was successful Daisy! Another example of our hidden powers that rise again to the fore when we are AF. :thumbsup:

Good to see you SF, Londoner, and everyone.

Congrat's on 90 days AF Matt. That is a huge achievement friend.

Off to see Jim, then an easy run.

Staying hard. Think positive. G

[j-vo]

Sunday night check-in before Breaking-Bad Binge. It was an ok weekend. Not too eventful. The monster (as LB calls him as I do, too) was on my shoulder a bit, especially on Friday. I ignored him, and distracted by watching tv, had visitors for halloween, and went to bed early. Saturday, irritable, but maybe tomorrow will be better.

Glad to see you Soft Focus. Yes, let's do this together.

Londoner, I agree with Ava and Nar. Being here, reading, posting is priority. Everything else should be on the back burner. Once this place becomes less of a priority, booze doesn't seem so bad after all. We can easily talk ourselves once again into drinking, because we don't keep things fresh in our minds of why it was so bad. It's a fight, yea, for sure. But it''s a worthwhile one, and then eventually it won't be a fight. One day at a time.

Have a good night.

[Byrdlady]

Hey all!
SF, good to see you! Hope you are bolstering your Plan, let us know how we can help. What you say I found to be true, the site wasn't down very long, but we lost a LOT of people during that week and a half. Why? Because left to our own devices, we will take the easier route and continue drinking. That's why, Londoner, your plan worries me. I have observed there is a direct corrolation to AF time and participation on this site. I find checking in here a lot less time consuming than going to an AA meeting would be. I can do this at my convenience. I have also heard that we (as recovering alkies) should be sober at least a year before settling into a serious relationship. I can see that, too. Why? Surely you have read about what a journey of self discovery this is. There are MANY peaks and valleys along the way, too... Getting to know and love yourself is the first order of business and you will be undergoing a lot of changes in the next year! Everything else will fall into place when you make your sobriety priority one! My quit is my foundation....without that, I got nuthin else. Stick close and we can help. If you look at your own record, your best success has been when you were actively engaged, right? I agree with Matt, without great support, our chances of making it are zero! Seeing is believing...and I've seen it! I've done it!
Daisy, did you ever see that movie, Mouse Hunt? Priceless! I nearly peed my pants, great job on catching that rascal!
Hope everyone has an easy evening! Hold on tight! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

It feels like it's a lot later than 7:45 pm, oh well. Time changes aren't easy

Londoner, sounds like you've put a lot of thought into your plan & that's great. I would definitely set aside 10 or 15 minutes each day to at least check in to the Nest. The extra support can't hurt. I wish you the best.

Daisy, my chicken house has been know to attract a mouse or two. They're just looking for a warm place to stay LOL
I don't get upset with them anymore & I hide some bait trays

Glad the Halloween parties didn't throw anyone off their plan! That sounds like progress!!!

I'll check in sometime tomorrow later in the day. I have to be up & out way too early to have fasting blood work done - oh joy.
Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Sunday night--

I like that, Nar - an extra sober hour today. How wonderful.

Londoner and SFx - welcome back. Nothing to say that hasn't already been said. We're here for you, use us. As Lav says, it can be as quick as 10 or 15 minutes.

Matt - excellent post. That fear that kept us from asking for help can be paralyzing, but once sober, I have worked hard to maintain a health fear of ever drinking again. It is true that EVERYTHING I have read, listened to or heard about getting and staying sober, from every different source, places a focus on sobriety as key. When I am deep in a pity party (which happens less and less), I can go there easily. Really? EVERY day? Waah. But fer fecks sake it sure beats the alternative - thinking about booze every day in a different way. At least this way I am happy and healthy.

AND CONGRATULATIONS on 90 days. I think I missed that.

Daisy - hilarious story. My DH has seen some mice around our yard - I'm thinking it might be time for a cat...

OK, Nesters. Stay close, hang tight to each other.

Happy New Week.
Pav

[Mr. B]

Happy sunday. I passed my motorcycle safety course today. It was pretty fun I have to say. One less thing off my plate. Liked your story little beagle. Have a good nite to all.