Newbies Nest

[daisy45]

Its like 'critter watch' in my house this week. Just put out yet another spider!
I am getting to be an expert! As long as the mouseys stay away.......
Still up much too late but will work on that over the next week. Need to get started on my exercise again....helps me in every way. All in good time.
My priority is sobriety!
Back to childminding in the morning after a week off. Miss the wee pups. When they are here they keep us busy and when they go we spend our time talking about all the wee things they say and do. Have to admit this has turned out very well. My daughter does it with me. She and my other adult children are mad about kids.
Gonna hit the sack here so will pop in tomorrow for my daily dose of MWO! Haha

[Pinecone]

Really great posts today, friends.

Matt M, your 100% quote has been rattling around in my head. It's a very challenging concept for someone as stubborn and self reliant as I am. I like that about myself, but it just doesn't work here! If I truly want AF life then I can't cling to some stupid idea of doing it myself. Once I got over that, there is so much comfort in not being alone. Ours is not a helpless state at all. We prop each other up. I'm trying to get better at that kind of thing!

Londoner, good to see you. Put your quit first and your life will fall into place.
Hi soft focus! Welcome back.

[Pinecone]

Really great posts today, friends.

Matt M, your 100% quote has been rattling around in my head. It's a very challenging concept for someone as stubborn and self reliant as I am. I like that about myself, but it just doesn't work here! If I truly want AF life then I can't cling to some stupid idea of doing it myself. Once I got over that, there is so much comfort in not being alone. Ours is not a helpless state at all. We prop each other up. I'm trying to get better at that kind of thing!

Londoner, good to see you. Put your quit first and your life will fall into place.
Hi soft focus! Welcome back.
Hi Daisy!

[KENSHO]

Howdy. Just checkin' in. Way to be a rockstar Matt and take it to 90. Great work.

Soft Focus and j-vo - a trifecta quit... I'm in. There's power in 3!

I have had drinking thoughts here and there (halloween candy has helped). The thing is that I get to the "Hmmmm, wouldn't a drink be nice" bit, but my next thought is "No, you would drink irresponsibly, you would feel like shit and your life won't be what you want." And they I say "Oh ya, that's right" and move on. A few months ago, I would have a thought of AL, and begin to question whether I really COULD handle some, which ultimately brought me to drink every time. It's the questioning that leads to failure because it leaves the door open. My healing and mindset seemed to improve substantially when I came to the realization that I just shouldn't drink. Period. Now I spend my time focusing on making my life what I want it to be, instead of taking up headspace with that inner battle - GOD almighty, that battle was so hard! This is much easier.

Have a great Monday everyone! Let's keep rackin' up the numbers!

[narilly]

Kensho's, it's good you realize you just can't drink. We all have to realize that. I know I can't have just one, same as you. I want to have the life I want and not drink.

Well, time to sleep

Goodnight

(No mice here Daisy)

[daisy45]

Kensho, that is what I need to keep foremost in my head too! 1 drink leads me to a tortured mind and body,
Nar, ordered Parched last night and another book by the woman who started up Soberistas.
Need as much armour as I can get!
Day 4 and feeling better. Gonna get on my exercise bike now.....

[Icanwithoutacan]

I'm pretty sure I am killing myself with AL. I am depressed like I have rarely been (usually anxious type), looking for bad in my husband and fighting with him), ignoring my kids (not neglectfully) I'm just not fully present. I'm drinking not necessarily more but the same in a shorter period of time (like really fast).... I am terrified. I will check in morning and night for support because I think it has to be AL or me -thanks

[Rahulthesweet]

Hello Nesters,

How's everyone. Its good to see on the roll call so many people going strong.

I am travelling still like crazy and right now in Chicago downtown. God I used to love this place : Food, bars, night clubs etc. So 2 days (after 2 years) I checked into the same hotel, on the same place next to the tavern , its still have some great staff. Across the street the 711 stores still have has those 12 packs. But it is so great to be free this time. No booze and complete freedom. I no longer have to walk the street like a hungry beast looking for next one.

It is so good to enjoy the same city with new fresh eyes, sober eyes.

It pays everyday to be sober. Every fuckin day.

Yesterday I bumped into a guru of mine. not in some sipuruation sence but processionally he is someone from whom I learent a lot. He mist be like 72 hr now old but I remember 10 years back when he used to drink and work like crazy. Over the bar he was surprised when I ordered non alcohol free beer while he hunted for his favorite draft. I too was surpiaed coz being from Scotland he normally drinks scotch. I looked at his and so did he. Clearly he was trying to control, moderate. And for I declared with pride I gave up completely. I could see his envious eyes when we said two of his sons have becomes alcoholics. They are aucesful but they drink like crazy.

Its enlighting to see myself sober. As if a hugeee burden is of me. The amount of money I have saved is one thing but enjoying the same bars with good blues music and non sweetened ice tea was a great and fresh experiance.

Take care and here's to another sober day ahead

[See the Light]

GMAE everyone- welcome back Londerer, - and Icanwithoutacan…you surely are in a difficult place…getting support here is a great start, but it may not be enough based on what you are saying. Depression is very hard…and AL only makes that worse..Is there a doctor or counselor you can talk to?..don’t try push through this by yourself (read recent comments here about not doing this alone). You are stuck in a tough cycle, and it sounds like you should see a doctor (preferably a specialist). Hang in there
Alcohol blocks out emotional pain and is often perceived as a loyal friend when human relationships fail. It is also associated with freedom and with a loss of inhibition that offsets the tedium of daily routines. When the alcoholic tries to quit drinking, the brain seeks to restore what it perceives to be its equilibrium. The brain responds with depression, anxiety, and stress (the emotional equivalents of physical pain), which are produced by brain chemical imbalances. These negative moods continue to tempt alcoholics to return to drinking long after physical withdrawal symptoms have abated.

[KENSHO]

Good morning! Rahul, your quote, "I no longer have to walk the streets like a hungry beast" really put our situation in perspective. Alcohol is a MONSTER! It turns us into versions of ourselves that are cranky, drooling, obsessed - not free, calm and happy. Let's all remember the "beast" and leave it behind!

Ican, I'm sorry you are feeling so low. Stopping AL is the best thing I did for my mental health. I hope you can find some other help and take the road toward a better life without AL! We are here for you!

[abcowboy]

MAE everyone! The start of a new week for each and everyone of us...hopefully the weekend was kind to us all....
This past weekend was opening weekend of big game hunting up here, Bubba and I, and our son got out and enjoyed the fall air and got to see lots of wildlife. I don't want to offend any animal right's supporters, but hunting season is one of my favorite times of year, it has also been known to be one of my hardest drinking months. It wasn't an easy weekend for me, but I got through it, and this morning I feel like I got over a major rock pile on my road to recovery! Both Saturday and Sunday morning, while our son was getting coffee ready for us, I got online, read my Daily Reflections, posted my 24 hour commitment, and prayed for another safe day. Saturday night, after hunting and supper, my son and I settled in to watch the Oiler's game, another trigger for me! So I grabbed my tablet and got on to MWO to do some reading and to remind myself that being AF is the only way for me. My son thought I was on a hunting forum that we both belong to, and when I explained MWO and how it helps me, he just smiled, asked if I needed another ginger ale. I could see the happiness for me in his eyes!

I see again that a few are struggling, and I wish there was more I could do to help. All I can do is share what being AF is doing for me. That look in my son's eyes was more than enough to show me that no matter how hard it is, this journey is the right one!

Face each day as it comes, don't worry about yesterday, don't wonder about tomorrow, there is only today to get through......
Have a great day/week my friends, and, no drinkin' or druggin' eh!

[narilly]

Good morning everyone, I will catch up with posts later.
Looking forward to a sober week!

Daisy- I did see you ordered the book 'Parched'. Hope you enjoy it. Its a good book to add to our AF literature.

Have a great day.

[Byrdlady]

Great posts overnight, as usual!
Ican, I'm so glad you are here. Accepting that AL is no longer an option was THE best decision in my adult life. It's just NOT an option....like battery acid, I never touch the stuff.

What a weekend! Thursday,Friday AND Sattidy gatherings with people and booze. It would have been easy to join in with everyone....being the only AF person at a function (apparently, I live in a neighborhood with a bunch of fellow-lushes) isn't always easy. After all, THEY are doing what I loved to do! DRINK in EXCESS! But I realized that this isn't about them....it's about ME. AL was killing ME. They can do what they want but I am not going down that road again. I noticed even my hubs over-doing it....he didn't remember a lot of the evening and tried to stumble over the details like I used to do. After I would say something, he's say, 'oh yeah, that's right!' I know how that game works....
On Sattidy morning I was reading FB and some other friends of mine wrote in a status...'Halloween did us dirty'. Turns out, he couldn't remember where he parked his golf cart and had to rely on FB to find it. He'd left his coat and scarf somewhere and another friend told him where to find those. This guy is 45-46 years old....he has kids! This was another sign that I am definitely on the right path...we aren't in college anymore and getting spit-faced just isn't cool like it was 30 years ago. I felt sorry for him.... he doesn't have an off switch, either. 'Is this any way for an adult to act?' I asked myself....NO, but it is sure how an alcoholic acts.

I was watching that dang fool walk the high wire last night. I wanted to throw up! How/WHY does he do that? I would have wet (or worse) myself just looking over the side of those buildings!! I thought to myself, I'd get out there in the middle and just freeze up, paralyzed with fear!!!!!!!!!! Unable to move forward OR backward!! HOW DID HE DO THAT???? Then it hit me.....one step at a time. He relied on other people and their experience to make it across to the other side. We are on that same wire....paralyzed with fear of being without our crutch. Take it from me, giving up AL isn't NEARLY as scary as imagining my life if I didn't. It is the BEST thing I've ever done for myself and I could kick myself in the arse for not doing it sooner! Do not fret that we cannot drink AL! Be happy that we are finally free of the beast that makes us do things we don't want to do!!! (see the guy looking for where he parked his $6k golf cart!)

I am going to eat myself out of house and home today....tomorrow is colon prep day! Jealous?

Hope everyone has a wonderful Monday!!! Byrdie

[Matt M.]

Ican~ glad your here, take a screen shot of your post you left, read it often. A reminder of our misery that we as Alcoholics so often seem to forget. Hang in there, and hang in here!

Kensho, your awesome, that it.

Cowboy~ Amen on looking at or children and realizing the importance of living for them and being present mentally.
OH and I'm very offended about you out hunting poor little Bambi. I'm a member of
P.E.T.A.~ (People Eating Tasty Animals).

I'm sure I forgot someone,
But if I did~ Stay Hard, Stay here and don't take that FIRST drink!

Byrd loved your analogy tying the fool walking the tight line to our journey with Al

Stl, Rahul, great post and insight

[daisy45]

Quick pop in! Another fecking mouse at noon! Again got it out the front door.....so today is 'operation meeses day!' Been clearing out, cleaning and investigating. 2 traps set so far.....traumatised!
Wonder if I set out a bowl of wine for them.......mmmmmmmmm