Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Folks let's take a look at the long view today. Where are we at right now and how does that look carried forward into the immediate, medium and long term. This doesn't have to feel like work though! Having an awesome, fulfilling AF life is joyous and rewarding. I think it also helps to secure our sobriety

Alcohol is such a short-term operator, Pinecone, I think it takes away whatever capacity we used to have to adjust our actions to obtain long-term goals. I am not at all an impulsive person and in most areas of my life have had no difficulty making short-term sacrifices in the interest of greater later rewards but man, drinking was a different story altogether! I think by the time we quit, we're out of the practice of thinking about where we want to be in the future and what we need to do to get there.

At all stages of this process, I've found it helpful to visualize a future event (holiday, trip, etc.) and what it can be like if I make the right short-term decisions (of course, the opposite projection also can be very effective but the more we can make this a positive experience, the better :smile:!).

So, if you're thinking of quitting or have just quit, the "future visualization" technique can help you get past some of the rough patches at the beginning. Let yourself have this dream and GO FOR IT! It might seem like it would take a miracle for you to quit but if you can get out of your own way, the miracle can happen for you. The short-term sacrifice of not having a drink will seem like nothing (believe it or not) after you give yourself the time you need to heal.

Just like the exact number of days AF progressively becomes less critical as the percentage of the total goes down and we start measuring in months (or for some amazing people, multiple YEARS!), the proportion of this process that is painful and difficult (whether for you that is days, weeks, or months) steadily diminishes as time goes on until ultimately, it was just a blip at the beginning.

Take Pinecone's view and see your AF self down the road - it is completely in your power to get there!

[NoSugar]

Congratulations on 100 days, STL! (And isn't it great to have a day be only 1% of your total time AF???).

[available]

Congratulations STL on your 100 days may you enjoy and be very proud of this day.

congratulations to Mr. G. A wonderful achievement for you with lots of ups and downs in your journey but you have done it with grace, style and panache. I am very very proud of you. We have been here a long time on mwo battling this beast and maybe us Aussies are thick but we sure are bloody determined. Hugs to you both on this day.

I found at the triple digits that i got the "what nows". I had done the triple digits which to me was totally amazing and then i thought well.................No dancing girls or marching band still. The emotions are still up and down but the good days are great and the thoughts of al ease and it does just get better and better. I will still probably have the "what nows" at a year. I just know i am happy and love life so much more than where i was nearly a year ago.

Welcome Shaw, this is a lovely place, it has gotten a lot of us to where we are today. I am truly blessed i found this place drunk one night and decided to lurk for awhile.

Resolve i hope today is a little better? May i ask what made you stop drinking for all of those weeks previously? You can do this again.

Mr B i hope you dad is ok, thinking of you and your wife.

Byrd good luck for you op dooby.

An early start for me today, Robert has a liver biopsy and a useless boyfriend who hates hospitals so i am off to sit with him before i start work. They are rushing things through so they say but i think waiting over 90 days to operate is not rushing. We can only hope today starts a process of either the operation or taking away his hope. That will be just awful if they do that, we all need hope.

[Guitarista]

Hiya Nesters,

Geez, that sounds a curly one SF. I hope the woman in question can turn things around. I had no idea really of the booze odour coming from me when i used to load trucks a few years ago until a workmate told me. Lot's of sweating! Luckily it was an outdoors environment and most folks were big drinkers, but i remember being a little shocked.

Hope all's well there Lav and Byrdy.

Congratulations STL on your big 100 days AF! Fab stuff my friend. It sure is an interesting journey ain't it?!

Early Thursday morning here and 'tis my day 100 AF too. Steady as she goes. Bloody marvellous.

Some cool posts above folks, thanks.

Take it easy out there and think positive.

xpost. Morning Ava. Thanks. I am a little thick to be sure! Have a great day my friend.

G man.

[roxane]

happy hundred days STL and guitarista, well done and respect to you both.

[Elvis]

To everyone who congratulated me on reaching 30 days, thank you, but unfortunately I cannot accept your praise. I need to be honest and share that I drank yesterday. What I did yesterday scared me for many reasons. I drank quite a bit, even by my old standards, and I made bad choices and put myself in bad situations. I am not proud of this and I have a lot to learn from this experience. I am disappointed in myself among other things.

When my wife confronted me a month ago because I started drinking again after many months of sobriety, someone on here posted this, and I liked it so much that I bookmarked it.

http://www.marcandangel.com/2014/09/28/20-things-to-remember-when-you-think-youre-not-good-enough/

I haven't read it in a while, but I read it multiple times today. I feel like I can relate to each point the author is making. I've also been reading back in the newbies nest and re-educating myself on alcohol and alcoholism. When I was struggling I should have stayed closer to the forum instead of shying away from it. Thank you all for your posts, I need to read them. Whether they are success stories or struggles, there is so much I learn.

When I woke up this morning the first thing I said to myself was, "You're a hot mess!" and it was true, I was a mess. I put a lot of water and good food into me and I do feel better now. Yesterday was an eye-opener. I am resolved more than I've ever been to become and remain alcohol free.

[Guitarista]

Good to see you here Elvis.

You are worthy of and good enough for all the amazing treasure that a booze free life gives us.

The path to my current milestone has been rocky to say the least, but like you right now, i kept regrouping and coming back to fight for my precious life again, 5 minutes at a time, one hour, one day at a time. Small daily steps of positive action that i can handle.

Stick with us friend. G

[Resolve]

As difficult as these past few days have been for me, I am truly inspired by the outpouring of support from so many of you. I'm well aware that my new existence is fragile at the moment. And I don't really mean any fragility in being tempted to drink. That has become secondary to me right now, and by this I have absolutely no desire or intentions to drink and have not done so since I decided to try my best to damage the relationships most important to me. At some point a drink will enter my mind and that struggle will begin anew but for now it's roadkill, effectively squashed by a heavy dose of self-loathing.

When you've stripped your core of any level of self-respect and the very foundation of who you lean on leans away from you, it's hard. Alcohol has a clever, near diabolical way of empowering you and leading you down a path of self-destruction. But man that buzz feels good, right? It's all good and worth it, right? The primary problem is that you've got others tethered to you and when you go down, they come tumbling behind. But we can live this lie for awhile, explaining away the slips, denying the obvious and saying you get it with no intentions of getting it. This could not be more selfish or unfair, and to be blind to this is sad. That's where I've been and my eyes are finally wide open with a few sobering slaps of accountability.

I admitted to my wife in August that I was an alcoholic. I thought that was my breaking point, or perhaps my breakthrough, and it led to some level of relief. It was out there, in fact I said it - my voice stated that out loud to the universe for the first time. I was very upset (of course drunk) and my wife didn't understand why I was upset. She told me that was the bulk of the battle and now the worst was out. I thought then, but now know, that it is impossible for some to understand, to get what we know here. It's not easy and is like that abominable snowman in Rudolph that will be on TV soon enough. Only we can't pull out it's teeth and make that fucker into something tameable. I know many of you have been there when you've bled, opened up your veins and had your come to Jesus moment with spouses, family or friends. It's humbling, painful and it takes courage. Even Saturday night leading up to my epic shitstorm my wife said "you can have one can't you." No I can't; I can have none or maybe 10. I think my moderation hypothesis has been sufficiently proven out, case closed on that issue.

In my hubris on Sunday while enjoying that first drink, I thought about MWO and how I'm not one of you. In fact I thought about how I wouldn't be back here - not lurking, not necessary. I didn't need you or this site since I had this down, conquered and now on to the moderation horse races.

I will never say that I'm glad in any way or on any level as to what I did on Sunday and how I really hurt people that are important to me. I'd take it all back if I could to not have them look at me as they do now with some level of disdain and/or disappointment. I would have found another way to get back here and to a place of true resolve. But I know with complete certainty that if that day didn't happen, I would be drinking again and maybe, just maybe in weeks, months or years I'd be back, if not dead. I hope you don't mind if I stay awhile.

[See the Light]

Thanks all on the 100 days mark comments..1st step in a long battle, but that is where it starts..

Great attitude and great link Elvis- you know how to do this so back on the saddle...we are all a mess in some way or another. Shake this off, secure your battle gear and re-prepare for war...those 30 days will be back in no time

Resolve- 3 for 3 for really great written posts here. I think whether you lurk or post, you know when you belong here, and you do. There so much we can always learn from each other…so let’s work together to tame that fucker

[available]

Elvis, shit happens and we know how enticing al is to us. Keep on here and keep focused. You will win this battle.

Oh Resolve when i first started on here i thought "wtf i dont drink nearly as much as some" so i didnt really have a problem. I also thought i would be the "one and only" to moderate and that i would be the one to show everyone how it is done. Well those are the thoughts of a chronic alky, my brain told me everything i wanted to hear to keep drinking, it didnt want me to stop. Even now it becomes pissed off that it is losing control and i will try everything i have to keep it that way.

This is a journey forever, we just pick a start date and go from there, to me there is no end date with my battle with al. One drink is all it will take for me to be back to where i was.

[j-vo]

STL and G-man, congratulations on your 100 days. That's wonderful and I'm happy for you both. Thank you for being here to share your journeys.

Mr. B, saying prayers for pops.

SF, you did well on the swimming. Forget about the chocolate.

Welcome Shawtho. This si def the place to be. Glad you decided on this place cause you won't find better.

Kensho, glad you got through that. Tired, hungry, and depressed are biggies for me, too. Especially depression which is what I"m dealing with atm. Take care of yourself.

Matt, believe the old-timers. They tell no lies about things getting better and yes, it takes time to heal.

Moss, isn't it better to panic over coffee than it is over alcohol and what you said or did? I think so, too.

Pinecone, great questions to ponder.

Lav and Byrd - from one end to the other, hope you two are doing well.

NS, great post.

Ava, I know you're providing the comfort Robert needs. You're a gem.

Elvis, this is the place to velcro your butt in place. Glad you're here. And great list - I liked #13 What you're capable of achieving is greatly based on how much you want it. We want sobriety, and we can achieve it, because it means lots to us. All we have to do is be willing and have that commitment, be persistent, and we will get there.

Resolve, powerful posts. Thank you.

STL, loved your poem.

Not doing too well with depression as of late, but I'm not drinking and I"m feeling the lows. I know they won't last.

[Byrdlady]

Well, I've come out the other end of this colonoscopy ordeal! I am telling you, that takes a lot out of a girl! So glad that is behind me! As the doctor was about to begin, I said " Bottoms up!" He burst out laughing, and that is all I remeber!

Elvis, I wondered why your hat wasnt appearing in your signature line. I am so sorry that AL won that last battle. AL always wins. ALWAYS. That was a hard lesson for me to learn, but by golly, I finally got it. You are back with us now....and now is all we've got! Snuggle in here by me, we will get thru this hard part.

Resolve, when you are down in that pit, daylight looks a long way off. We dont just jump out in one big leap, it is a series of small steps. The only thing you must do is keep moving forward. We are so glad you're here! This place saves lives, and I am one of them!

See the Light and Guitarista! 100 days!!! That is EPIC!!
:horse: :horse:

Here are our 2 knights in shining armor! We are so proud of you and wish you continued success! Please feel free to find and post in the 100 day thread! Your journey is not over, but hopefully easier! Keep up the pace! There is no finish line! Hugs to both of you for this huge accomplishment!

Hope everyone has an easy evening! Byrdie

[Resolve]

Congratulations on 100 days G man. That is quite an achievement and wishing you continued success.

[Resolve]

thanks all on the 100 days mark comments..1st step in a long battle, but that is where it starts..

Great attitude and great link elvis- you know how to do this so back on the saddle...we are all a mess in some way or another. Shake this off, secure your battle gear and re-prepare for war...those 30 days will be back in no time

resolve- 3 for 3 for really great written posts here. I think whether you lurk or post, you know when you belong here, and you do. There so much we can always learn from each other…so let’s work together to tame that fucker

STL - congratulations to you on 100 days. Well done and yes, I will continue to work with you and all to tame that m'effer!

[daisy45]

Shawbo andResolve, good to see you! I am starting over too! Picked a good time judging by these very timely and excellent posts over this past couple of days.....took me a while to read back.
Been up to my eyes with the mouse isse....don't even want to talk about it! Been exiled to my daughters bed upstairs! Praying for a mouse-free house asap!
Quick checkin at end of day 6... Night all!