Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Lav and STL, thanks for those links on the Vitamin D and B's. I have an appt next week with a nutrition expert so I'll be inquiring.

Not much to say here - as Kensho requested - one grateful thing...I'm finished with my lesson plans!

Have a good night all, and praying for you Mr. B.

Daisy, hope you got rid of the critters.

[j-vo]

Oh no, Resolve! If drinking has to do with geometry, no wonder I've failed over and over.

[MossRose]

Hi Nesters. It's been a really good day and I couldn't wait to share it with all of you. I am finally getting the title at work that reflects the work I have already been doing (for a quite a while). I'm sure many of you know that scenario. And the best part, I didn't even have to ask. It was offered. Just another reason to stay sober. Work has definitely been more rewarding without the hangover!!

Elvis, your story made me laugh. I used to have a couple of cats just like yours.

Resolve - You obviously are a very intelligent, and articulate man who grasps the enormous damage we do while drinking. The better part of my adult life revolved around doing some dumbass thing while drunk, and then regretting it. It's such a pleasure to wake up in the morning and know I didn't do anything regretful the night before. Stay strong. You sound determined.

[Byrdlady]

Oh no, Resolve! If drinking has to do with geometry, no wonder I've failed over and over.

Me, too J-vo!

Congrats on your 7 days, Daisy!!! That is just fantastic! And you fighting mice the whole time! Hugs to you! Xxoo, B

[Resolve]

:exclaim:

Me, too J-vo!

Congrats on your 7 days, Daisy!!! That is just fantastic! And you fighting mice the whole time! Hugs to you! Xxoo, B

I like your humor and promise no more math analogies! Not really sure I even used this one correctly...oh well, I was better in Science (except brain chemistry)...

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Love that baby otter video STL
I've been to Shedds aquarium - neat place! I hope you enjoyed it too Eloise!

Brydie, I hope you are resting up a bit after your ordeal yesterday.

J-vo, get your Vit D blood level checked, I did. I think we live far enough north where deficiencies are fairly common but easy to fix
B vits are vital for all of us - they keep me energized & functioning!

MR, congrats on your new work title - good for you - it's nice to be recognized

Greetings to all & sending wishes for a safe & cozy night in the nest!
I'm on grandson duty ALL DAY tomorrow. Just me & the 3 1/2 year old, oh boy!!!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Resolve, thanks for the "Regret" piece, I needed it tonight. I've found myself wanting to drink very much the last few days. I know its because I'm trying to do too much. Sometimes when I get too much on my plate, I just go balls to the walls to try and catch up. That leaves me without a break, and without taking care of myself. However, taking time just seems to put me further behind. Not sure how to handle this. But I know I won't drink. I know it will only lead to regret. I just want to get caught up so I can have a normal workload!

Anyway, good info and reminders on the Vit. B's and D. I read it this am and walked right over and took all my sups. I tend to forget at times!

jvo, glad you mentioned your thing you are grateful for, and glad you got your lesson plans done! I'm grateful that I can come here instead of feel alone and just run to the basement and imbibe.

Moss, huge congrats! Sounds like the universe is giving you what you can now handle!

Ok, heading of to eat dinner.

[Matt M.]

Regret also becomes circular and leads to the piling on aspect. The crappy things we say and do when drinking just breed and multiply. You regret drinking and also the argument you caused because you were drunk, the trust you breached because you were impaired or the relationships you damaged by being shitfaced. And then you drink to avoid what has filled you with regret to not deal with it. On and on it goes.

Very well said sir, the viscous cycle of guilt and remorse. G! Damn I don't miss that.

Congrats MR on your job title, it's amazing how a person's performance and true skills shine without the fog of booze.

Have a great evening all

[abcowboy]

MAE friends! There's been a great many very good posts over the past few days! It seems all of us have been down the slip/relapse road at least once or twice during our journey, and it got me to thinking about my 2 small slips. It seems after we get a few months under our belts, the thoughts of whether we can moderate come up. And they are interesting thoughts, as we all know people who drank too much, but were able to stop, then moderate. We also know people who stopped, decided they could moderate, then fell back into old drinking ways. It's really interesting contemplating this as there are many things we enjoyed about drinking other than getting drunk. Possibly we enjoyed the social occasion. Possibly we enjoyed the wine/beer/liqueur that we drank. Possibly we enjoyed the pairing of foods and drinks. Regardless, alcohol was in many cases more than a crutch or escape. It may have started as enjoyment, then became something else where we weren't paying attention. So over the last few days, reading posts over the threads, I came up with a few thoughts about myself and my drinking...

Thought 1: Did I actually enjoy the drink itself, or did I enjoy using the drink to get drunk? To me this is the key thought. Sure, I loved beer, wine, and the occasional white rum . But I can also remember that 98% of the time when I drank, I was almost shaking with anticipation knowing that I could go pick up my poison of choice and get liquored up on it. When one goes from having a beer or two to killing an 8-pack in an evening, we've gone well past enjoyment, and are heading into just having a weapon of choice to use against sobriety.

Thought 2: If I had a drink again, could I stop at one or two? If I had to stop at one or two, how enjoyable would having the drink be? This is also a key thought. I find the idea of having a drink very mentally stimulating, and it releases endorphins in my brain. But then thinking that no, I can't keep going back to the fridge, and one or two is all I can have shuts those endorphins right back down again. So apparently stopping at one or two might work for a while, but having a drink is not what I obviously want. Having drinks, as many of them as I can handle is apparently what I want.

Thought 3: What are the best case and worst case scenarios? Best case, I can enjoy the odd drink here and there as a social drinker, and can go back to enjoying food/drink pairings that I used to enjoy. Worst case? Divorced? Dead? DUI? Out of control drunk who finally decides that alcohol is more important to them than anything else in the world, who drinks until they are broke, then eats a gun?

So let me see, based on my thoughts above, let me contemplate moderation:
- I don't enjoy the drinks as much as I thought I did
- The thought of moderation sucks the fun out of the thought of drinking
- Best case scenario means nothing, but opens the door to a worst case scenario that is bleak

After thinking about this, I wonder why I would even play with the fire of self-moderation? I drank to get drunk. I liked the drinks I did because they were a way I liked to get drunk. Drinking only a few, I might as well drink pop or water, as I cannot get drunk anymore. Period. And by not drinking, I keep that door shut, the door that starts with a glass of wine with dinner, and ends up with me dead and alone.

And I'm thankful to have my MWO friends here, that I can learn from their experiments in self-moderation, and avoid the same mistakes they made. And really, at the end of the day, I don't want to have a beer, or wine, or white rum, I want to get drunk. So nothing good can come from any drink, no matter how I want to rationalize it to myself.

These are the thoughts that are going into my toolbox, thoughts that I can turn to when I think I can have just one or maybe even two.....

[See the Light]

Hi Nesters. It's been a really good day and I couldn't wait to share it with all of you. I am finally getting the title at work that reflects the work I have already been doing (for a quite a while). I'm sure many of you know that scenario. And the best part, I didn't even have to ask. It was offered. Just another reason to stay sober. Work has definitely been more rewarding without the hangover!!

Elvis, your story made me laugh. I used to have a couple of cats just like yours.

Resolve - You obviously are a very intelligent, and articulate man who grasps the enormous damage we do while drinking. The better part of my adult life revolved around doing some dumbass thing while drunk, and then regretting it. It's such a pleasure to wake up in the morning and know I didn't do anything regretful the night before. Stay strong. You sound determined.

Congrats on your new title MossRose- we unfortunately live an economy now that you are expected to do more for less, because times are tough...finally getting the recognition you deserve is a huge victory, even if it is later than we had hoped for . Keeping a balance in life is key....

[See the Light]

MAE friends! There's been a great many very good posts over the past few days! It seems all of us have been down the slip/relapse road at least once or twice during our journey, and it got me to thinking about my 2 small slips. It seems after we get a few months under our belts, the thoughts of whether we can moderate come up. And they are interesting thoughts, as we all know people who drank too much, but were able to stop, then moderate. We also know people who stopped, decided they could moderate, then fell back into old drinking ways. It's really interesting contemplating this as there are many things we enjoyed about drinking other than getting drunk. Possibly we enjoyed the social occasion. Possibly we enjoyed the wine/beer/liqueur that we drank. Possibly we enjoyed the pairing of foods and drinks. Regardless, alcohol was in many cases more than a crutch or escape. It may have started as enjoyment, then became something else where we weren't paying attention. So over the last few days, reading posts over the threads, I came up with a few thoughts about myself and my drinking...

Thought 1: Did I actually enjoy the drink itself, or did I enjoy using the drink to get drunk? To me this is the key thought. Sure, I loved beer, wine, and the occasional white rum . But I can also remember that 98% of the time when I drank, I was almost shaking with anticipation knowing that I could go pick up my poison of choice and get liquored up on it. When one goes from having a beer or two to killing an 8-pack in an evening, we've gone well past enjoyment, and are heading into just having a weapon of choice to use against sobriety.

Thought 2: If I had a drink again, could I stop at one or two? If I had to stop at one or two, how enjoyable would having the drink be? This is also a key thought. I find the idea of having a drink very mentally stimulating, and it releases endorphins in my brain. But then thinking that no, I can't keep going back to the fridge, and one or two is all I can have shuts those endorphins right back down again. So apparently stopping at one or two might work for a while, but having a drink is not what I obviously want. Having drinks, as many of them as I can handle is apparently what I want.

Thought 3: What are the best case and worst case scenarios? Best case, I can enjoy the odd drink here and there as a social drinker, and can go back to enjoying food/drink pairings that I used to enjoy. Worst case? Divorced? Dead? DUI? Out of control drunk who finally decides that alcohol is more important to them than anything else in the world, who drinks until they are broke, then eats a gun?

So let me see, based on the thoughts above, let us contemplate moderation:
- I don't enjoy the drinks as much as I thought I did
- The thought of moderation sucks the fun out of the thought of drinking
- Best case scenario means nothing, but opens the door to a worst case scenario that is bleak

After thinking about this, I wonder why I would even play with the fire of self-moderation? I drank to get drunk. I liked the drinks I did because they were a way I liked to get drunk. Drinking only a few, I might as well drink pop or water, as I cannot get drunk anymore. Period. And by not drinking, I keep that door shut, the door that starts with a glass of wine with dinner, and ends up with me dead and alone.

And I'm thankful to have my MWO friends here, that I can learn from their experiments in self-moderation, and avoid the same mistakes they made. And really, at the end of the day, I don't want to have a beer, or wine, or white rum, I want to get drunk. So nothing good can come from any drink, no matter how I want to rationalize it to myself.

These are the thoughts that are going into my toolbox, thoughts that I can turn to when I think I can have just one or maybe even two.....

Wow..sorry..X-post Cowboy...I just copied that to my word doc on my pc called "lessons from MWO" (yes I copy things from here to a file to again read later..it does help...sorry if anything is here is trademarked)...you should put that one in the Toolbox though...well done!!

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Congrats on your promotion, Mossy. I always thought I was dang good at my job, but I have found that being sober has pushed me to another level I didn't know I was even missing. I hope you enjoy your new position.

Love, love, love the otter. I live in No. California and get to drive down to Monterey from time to time to see the otters. So cute.

Kensho - sorry you're craving, and glad you came here. I'm not sure if you are listening to the Bubble Hour or not. I heard NS recommend it over and over, and never believed that it would make a difference. I highly recommend it, especially when you are struggling. There is an episode on just about anything recovery related. Not only did I learn while listening, but they helped my brain focus on something besides feeling like I wanted to drink. I listened while hiking - a double shot of self care.

If you're not interested in the Bubble Hour, there are many different podcasts that can take your mind off of things. Some of my favorites are Serial (from the producers of This American Life - a great show, too), Marc Maron WTF, Freakanomics and Slate's Cultural Gabfest. There are SO many.

Ok, we will resume our regular programming. Regular. Get it, Byrdie.

I guess all indications are that I should go to bed. Stay strong!

Pav

[Pavati]

xpost STL and Cowboy.

I agree, that's a toolbox worthy post, Cowboy. As 3J once said, "If only one, why not none." Those words have stuck with me this whole time. No, I don't want just one. None keeps that battle out of the picture.

[Resolve]

MAE friends! There's been a great many very good posts over the past few days! It seems all of us have been down the slip/relapse road at least once or twice during our journey, and it got me to thinking about my 2 small slips. It seems after we get a few months under our belts, the thoughts of whether we can moderate come up. And they are interesting thoughts, as we all know people who drank too much, but were able to stop, then moderate. We also know people who stopped, decided they could moderate, then fell back into old drinking ways. It's really interesting contemplating this as there are many things we enjoyed about drinking other than getting drunk. Possibly we enjoyed the social occasion. Possibly we enjoyed the wine/beer/liqueur that we drank. Possibly we enjoyed the pairing of foods and drinks. Regardless, alcohol was in many cases more than a crutch or escape. It may have started as enjoyment, then became something else where we weren't paying attention. So over the last few days, reading posts over the threads, I came up with a few thoughts about myself and my drinking...

Thought 1: Did I actually enjoy the drink itself, or did I enjoy using the drink to get drunk? To me this is the key thought. Sure, I loved beer, wine, and the occasional white rum . But I can also remember that 98% of the time when I drank, I was almost shaking with anticipation knowing that I could go pick up my poison of choice and get liquored up on it. When one goes from having a beer or two to killing an 8-pack in an evening, we've gone well past enjoyment, and are heading into just having a weapon of choice to use against sobriety.

Thought 2: If I had a drink again, could I stop at one or two? If I had to stop at one or two, how enjoyable would having the drink be? This is also a key thought. I find the idea of having a drink very mentally stimulating, and it releases endorphins in my brain. But then thinking that no, I can't keep going back to the fridge, and one or two is all I can have shuts those endorphins right back down again. So apparently stopping at one or two might work for a while, but having a drink is not what I obviously want. Having drinks, as many of them as I can handle is apparently what I want.

Thought 3: What are the best case and worst case scenarios? Best case, I can enjoy the odd drink here and there as a social drinker, and can go back to enjoying food/drink pairings that I used to enjoy. Worst case? Divorced? Dead? DUI? Out of control drunk who finally decides that alcohol is more important to them than anything else in the world, who drinks until they are broke, then eats a gun?

So let me see, based on my thoughts above, let me contemplate moderation:
- I don't enjoy the drinks as much as I thought I did
- The thought of moderation sucks the fun out of the thought of drinking
- Best case scenario means nothing, but opens the door to a worst case scenario that is bleak

After thinking about this, I wonder why I would even play with the fire of self-moderation? I drank to get drunk. I liked the drinks I did because they were a way I liked to get drunk. Drinking only a few, I might as well drink pop or water, as I cannot get drunk anymore. Period. And by not drinking, I keep that door shut, the door that starts with a glass of wine with dinner, and ends up with me dead and alone.

And I'm thankful to have my MWO friends here, that I can learn from their experiments in self-moderation, and avoid the same mistakes they made. And really, at the end of the day, I don't want to have a beer, or wine, or white rum, I want to get drunk. So nothing good can come from any drink, no matter how I want to rationalize it to myself.

These are the thoughts that are going into my toolbox, thoughts that I can turn to when I think I can have just one or maybe even two.....

AB - this post is so spot on and so well written. I will keep referring back to this over time as well. Very insightful and thoughtful read as I'm winding down this evening.

[narilly]

Goodnight everyone, will read back tomorrow.

Sleeepy