Newbies Nest

[MossRose]

Good stuff, NS. I wasn't familiar with this blog, but think it just became required reading. I like her take on rock bottom. Many people assume that means living in a gutter with a bottle of Muscatel in one hand. For me, I hit rock bottom every time I saw "that look" in my son's eyes. The one that said...Mom's drunk again. Even when I thought I was hiding it well, he knew. For me, there was nowhere lower to go. So glad those days are over.

Thank you everyone for the words of support. I sent my friend an email today and told him we need to talk. I was caught so off-guard last night because we were talking about something other than drinking. Believe me...99% of our conversations are about something other than drinking. So it came out of left-field. I have never demanded that he stop drinking. I'm the alcoholic, not him. But I do need him to respect my decision. I'll go a step further. If he wants to be a permanent part of my life, he needs to do more than respect it, he needs to support it. Whew. Can you tell I have been stewing? LOL.

I just walked in from work and haven't had time to read back. I'll do that now, so I can make a thoughtful post. Just wanted to say how much I appreciate all the good advice.

[Resolve]

Unfortunately I had another intervention last night. Only it involved me, my car and a deer on the way home. Came out of nowhere about a mile from home and boom bam kapow into the passenger side panel and over the hood he went. I was fine, my car not so much. And not being a fan of venison anyway, I wasn't disappointed to see it get up and walk away. I'm pretty sure it looked back at me too as if to ask if I had been drinking. And no I had not.

I was able to drive the car home fine and have a loaner now for the next week or so. As I pulled into the garage last night my wife was walking out with a what the hell happened look on her face. After assuring her that I had in fact not struck a human being or another vehicle, nor been drinking, there was a slight glimmer of concern for me. Ah well, progress is progress.

This made me remember that in my warped mind of the past, I used to sometimes fantasize that I would have non-life threatening injuries that would lead to an extended hospital stay so I could sober up. This seemed the only way to get my act together without anyone else knowing. Sounded completely reasonable and rational, and a pass if you will to go away without really going away to something like rehab. That would be admitting a real problem which I of course didn't really have (ahem). How screwed up is it to look back at your thought process and wonder WTF was wrong with me to think that was a solution? Oh yeah, I remember now.

Hope everyone else has safe and sober travels. Beware of flying deer this time of year!

[MossRose]

After assuring her that I had in fact not struck a human being or another vehicle, nor been drinking, there was a slight glimmer of concern for me. Ah well, progress is progress.

Resolve, ok - this is very funny, in a black humor sort of way. You certainly have a way with words. I'm very glad to hear that you and the deer escaped without injury. It takes a lot of time and effort, but eventually the trust comes back. It can be exhausting and humbling waiting for that day, but priceless when it arrives. Hang in there.

[rednose]

Good Afternoon all !

Wow I am so tired today. It is day three for me and I have not been able to do much today other than eat and sleep.
I feel like I could eat everything in the house. And I have been.
Naps are nice. I don't think I realized how far down the ladder I had fallen this last trip with alcohol. My body is in pretty
rough shape from all the drinking I had been doing since the last time I made a real effort to quit.

So I am fortunate that I can be at home for a while and not have to work and try to take it easy on my body for this first week.
Nothing earth shattering to reveal other than I am hungry and tired and short tempered. Ha big surprise.

I feel like I am just rambling on and not saying much so I will sign off for now. Just wanted to check in and let
you all know I am still here fighting the good fight against alcohol.
Thanks for all the post. I have been reading lots of them.

rednose. :thanks:

[blackflag]

Good going rednose! Day 3 in the bag here, although I must admit I had a moment that could've gone either way. I logged on here on my phone and had a read for 5 mins and I made the right decision. So even if someone isnt posting at the time, this place can get them through a sticky patch. So thanks, you guys.

[MossRose]

OMG - I don't mean to hog the nest tonight, but I just found out that a coworker has died - possible suicide, but no one is sure. The rumors are running rampant. I hate this shit. She was a nice person.

[Pinecone]

Hi friends, it's great to see everyone posting today.
MR, I like how you qualified what you expect from your friend with yourself. I agree 100% on making this a priority like you did.
Ava, good luck on your interview!
Red nose, you'll be feeling much better soon, jusT keep taking it easy and treating yourself well.

I have been thinking about others "not getting it" about our drinking. It really reinforces for me the need for the SUPPORT of this community. Being engaged here with all of you extremely fine people who do get it keeps my head in the right place. Thanks all for being here.

[Byrdlady]

Wow, NS, what a find that blog is! That was WORD!!! This is a life- long party and we got an invitation! Thanks for posting!! B

[Byrdlady]

OMG - I don't mean to hog the nest tonight, but I just found out that a coworker has died - possible suicide, but no one is sure. The rumors are running rampant. I hate this shit. She was a nice person.

OMG! I am so sorry to hear this! What a horrible solution! Hugs, Mossy. B

[rednose]

Good going rednose! Day 3 in the bag here, although I must admit I had a moment that could've gone either way. I logged on here on my phone and had a read for 5 mins and I made the right decision. So even if someone isnt posting at the time, this place can get them through a sticky patch. So thanks, you guys.

blackflag.

Good going on day three. It is 5 pm my time and usually I would be well on my way to getting a buzz on or drunk.
I can log in with my phone too. It is nice to have that available.
Good job on choosing not to drink today..
Me I am going to rest, eat, watch some mindless tv and get a good nights rest.

rednose. :happy2:

[MossRose]

Thanks Byrdie. We weren't close friends. But I'm receiving messages and calls tonight from many people who were close to her and they are distraught. My heart is breaking for them, but mostly for her. OMG!! What drove her to such a drastic act? Better sign off for the night, because this news really depressed me. And I don't want to infect the nest with my negativity. xx

[abcowboy]

^^^:hug: for you Moss^^^

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Great to see so many making progress, day by day. Keep doing that & you will reach your goal, just like so many of us have

MossRose, I am very sory about your coworker. I am dealing with the same situation with my BIL. Why do some people choose to end it & others hang on? We just can't really know what is going on in someone else's heart & mind :hug:

I'm feeling less tense about our family situation, acceptance takes time. I am not going to spend any more time worrying about him or the 'whys'. I plan to do what I can for his family & just be grateful for mine.

Wishhing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest. It's snowing here in my part of the nest :eek-new:

Lav

[Icanwithoutacan]

Same here Rednose.....starving, tired ....not as grouchy today thankfully....you're doing great!

[Icanwithoutacan]

So sorry Moss....Im just reading about your friend. It seems like a lot in the nest are dealing with tragedies. Let's not be the next ones. Stay in the nest, even if you are feeling negative. It is the safest place.
Ava NS and Gardener Byrd MS, Narilly and all thanks for the advice on fatigue and for the support. I don't know how in the hell I made it tonight, but I did. I could literally taste the beer tonight and if we had had any here I think I would have drunk it.
I feel a bit better about the hubs. He actually did one of his "comments" tonight and I changed MY reaction and just called him out on it kindly and he actually said, "Oh, your're right, I'm sorry"......So maybe progress on my side and his. I think we really get into such patterns of poor communication in marriage and especially in an alkie/normie marriage. Trying to change that......Day 5 done and dusted. Praying the craving will not be as bad tomorrow night.

Glad you are ok Resolve. Matt you crack me up. I like your flag AB and Lav as always thanks for taking care of the nest even in the midst of your own personal tragedy.