Newbies Nest

[Icanwithoutacan]

Thanks, Ava I appreciate your kindness. I guess one reason I am not totally honest with my husband is because he has heard it so many times before and I don't want to go back on my word again by telling him I'm done and then drinking again. It makes me feel weak/wishy washy in his eyes and I can't stand that.
I'm pretty proud right now and happy that I am going to sleep well and be bright in the morning. Damn, but "exhausting" is the perfect word for the mental battle that goes on around AL at least in the early days of sobriety

[available]

Time builds trust Ican and we alkies hate letting people down as we let ourselves down daily by drinking. The more sober time the more confident you will be. Recovery takes time and we have a lot of time to prove we can do this. We are proud right along with you as each small step leads us to be healthier and more determined and able to prove that we can do this. First and foremost be sober for yourself as you are the most important person in this journey. Tomorrow is another sober day that you and only you have achieved.

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Ican - way to go on resisting when the voice was so loud. Since you asked for thoughts... My thoughts are you need to find someone or some people to whom you feel accountable in "real" life. I had my husband right away, and I also had a counselor I saw weekly who I told. There were definitely times when one of the things that kept the choice off the table was the fact that I didn't want to face either one of them. I soon told my good friends as well. I was VERY good at lying to myself, but I really am bad at lying to others. Is there someone else in your family you can talk to?

Mossy and Ava - Sorry about your news. Ava - SO much better to be dealing without alcohol. Better for you because you get to be present at a time when your friends and families need you. That wallowing in self pity is the ego part of alcoholism - everything becomes about you.

I had a shocking "Woe is me" moment today regarding alcohol. It came out of the blue. I didn't want to drink as much as I felt sorry for myself for not being able to be "normal." Now I KNOW that it is far more normal to not be drinking large vodkas every night, but I felt that blech feeling again. I am out of it now, but it definitely took me by surprise.

I also have been looking through my old Instagram photos from last year. I can pinpoint the moment between photos of before and after I quit. I am struck first by an odd, sad feeling, as I was feeling so awful at that time; and then I get so happy when I see my photos since then. I remember everything, am clear headed and not hungover, see myself looking better. I didn't know I would feel sort of nostalgic after almost a year, but I do. I am so grateful to be where I am in my life...

OK, good night, folks. Looking for J-Vo - has anyone heard from her? And Daisy. Come back!

xo
Pav

[KENSHO]

Ican, I know how you are feeling! I, too have had trouble with telling the hubby. Be careful with that one sip though. As Ava says, no need to beat yourself up, but beware that I had one sip a bit back and felt like you do now. In fact, I posted some powerful words about how I never wanted to drink again - but the sip somehow made it accessible to me - easier to do it again and I did. Put up those walls and say NO!! Fight now and don't let the voice try to booze-schmooze you!

Ava, your year party is coming up!! Any big plans?

Moss, you say you don't want a pity party, so just know that I read your posts with support and hugs. That's a lot to go through.

Way to go Gardner, Rednose and GFI! These are the hard numbers, and you're DOING IT!!!! Keep taking one day at a time!

I'm so very thankful for you all here. Some days are easier, some are just plain easy and some are a bit more challenging. I am working very long days now and wanting relief (but I know AL would not be relief). More than anything, I am frustrated that thinking about this week with family in AZ will be hard. I DO need to tell my husband my plan so he can support me. I guess I just keep wanting to wait for that time that I am feeling particularly bulletproof. I do worry sometimes that he won't want me sober - but then I realize that I'm so much better of a wife, mom and person NOW, not drinking. My adventurous, edgy side has nothing to do with alcohol - it's just me.
Good night, or morning, or whatever it is now - it's dark and bed is calling. Hugs to all!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Sunny but very cold (below freezing) in my portion of the nest! Winter seems to have arrived extra early!

MossRose & Ava, I'm so sorry you are both dealing with the harsh reality of cancers in your families. While the modalities of cancer therapy have vastly improved over the years the terror & fear factors have remained the same. It's difficult for everyone involved, patient & family. I wish you both strength in helping your loved ones & remember that we are all here to help you :hug:

Ican, you can stop all the argument going on in your head with some hypnotherapy & meditation - I did!
I used the MWO hypno CDs daily for a good year or more & have enjoyed guided meditations ever since. Give them a try, they can't hurt

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!

Lav

[abcowboy]

Morning Nestor's! Things are good up here for me, plugging along in the cold and enjoying my AF time! Quick check in, will have more time to read back tonight, but since we're on the lookout for J-Vo, has anyone heard from Rivergal or MO3? They both should be celebrating a month today if they have been sticking to their plan..

Have a great weekend everyone! Remember, stay away from the bad stuff eh!

[Byrdlady]

Morning all! Quick fly by! Just wanted to wish all a happy day!
PS. My hobbies are killing me! Bah! Xo.

[Pavati]

Good morning:

Aaah. A good night's sleep and a nice, non hungover cup of coffee. Someone here writes - you'll never regret not drinking. So true.

I'm off on an adventure today with my sister and some friends. There will be no drinking. Phew.

Pav

[narilly]

Good morning Nesters,
It's amazing how much I enjoy my Un hungover Weekends. It's so nice to start my day early, who knew so much went on before noon
Enjoying my coffee and off to the market -17C here right now but it is supposed to warm up to -3C. Whoop!

[narilly]

Ava and Mossy, I am thinking of you both. Cancer sucks.

[rednose]

Good Morning to you all.

I made it through day three but it was not an easy day by any means. Let just say I white knuckled my way through the day.
I ate and ate and ate. I rested and napped and I did get a good night’s sleep.
Lots of crazy thoughts going through my head. "Oh you can have one drink, what’s the big deal one won’t hurt."

Well as I am sure most of you here know that that is stinking thinking and we do not have that luxury of just having that one drink. One becomes two, two become ten. So I hung on to being AF.
I don't think anyone here has ever said it would be easy but it is doable if you want to be AF more than you want to drink.
I choose AF today and I am not concerned if it is pretty I just want to add another day to the roll call tomorrow morning more than I want that drink.

Thanks for the support

rednose :thanks:

[narilly]

Red, so glad you got through day 3. The beginning is the hardest time, I think it's because drinking is such a habit at this time. Try and do different things, things that don't involve AL. Go for a walk, a movie, do something different.
This podcast really helped me, it actually was a turning point for me:

http://www.thebubblehour.com/2014/04...-changing.html

Give it a listen, it might help.

Just think about today, today I won't drink.

[Rahulthesweet]

Hello Nesters,

I am back home today. Have been travelling and lost touch with the nest but its always there at the back of my mind.

Ava : wish you all the best with your mom results and your friends surgery. And they will be lucky to have you on the job for sure !

Moss : So sorry to hear about your brothers and I pray that the cancer has not spread. I know this is a very hard moment for him and you.

Ican, I sipped beer once in last six plus month of sobriety it was over bar when a friend said "wow its so good take a sip ... " I didn't want to sound to sound silly and hence took a sip. I didn't like it ... Felt like I let my guard down. And I realized I must work on indirectly taking people I have stopped drinking or dont prefer etc.

I recently have company to someone with non alcoholic beer when the other person refused to order scotch. And I tell ya non alcohol (and even alcoholic I guess ) taste like horse pi** !

Lav : It is so good to have you here. Your long teem sobriety does inspire us all. Being self employed myself I know when you kicking your own butt !

Elvis : I initially used to feel awkward when I was with a group where PPL were drinking so did used to fake with a glass of water and lime as if it was vodka on rocks. But lately I have being genuinly working on Not drinking and not hiding ! Yes I try not to be a spoil sport and do five a company with non AL beer etc when needed but its more important me to be sober rather than thinking what others might feel about me not drinking.

---------------

On board my flight I saw a couple of ol 80 movies. Its good to see funny fashion, fancy cars no technology, no cell phones etc. But booze was there in its full glory and my how hollywood glamories it !!

But then my eyes have opened I know there is no glamour in having it, it serves no purpose, it messes with the mind and thats it.

I plan on staying sober for ever as I not missing anything in life ... Nothing !! Except I have gained so much. I dont tell myswlf I cant drink (as if there is something wrong with me or I cant handle AL or I have AL gene etc. I choose not to drink !

[rednose]

Red, so glad you got through day 3. The beginning is the hardest time, I think it's because drinking is such a habit at this time. Try and do different things, things that don't involve AL. Go for a walk, a movie, do something different.
This podcast really helped me, it actually was a turning point for me:

http://www.thebubblehour.com/2014/04...-changing.html

Give it a listen, it might help.

Just think about today, today I won't drink.

Narilly,

Thank you for the post and idea of doing something different. I have become a bit of a loner due to my drinking
so I need to get out of my shell and get back out there.

Thanks

rednose

[Elvis]

Rahul, I have no problem ordering soda, water, ice tea either, while everyone else gets wine and beer or shots. No need for me to disguise it anymore, my close friends and family know I don't drink anymore, and anyone else, I don't care what they think. I do like a good NA beer now and then though so I will bring some to a party or order it if I'm in the mood.

Well, time to get my butt off the couch and feel productive before the sunlight goes away. Or else I'll spend all day goofing off and watching funny videos on Youtube. :checkin: